Produced by NIGHT DRESS

This song reflects my deep struggle with vulnerability, creative pressure, and the fear of letting others see my pain. It also captures the complexity of balancing gratitude for my blessings with the lingering weight of unresolved emotions. From a faith-based perspective, this song could be reframed to focus on how God is helping me navigate these emotions and redefine my identity, not as someone who hides pain but as someone who finds strength and healing in Him.

The Fear of Vulnerability:

“I know that you want me to talk but that’s not who I am.”

This line reflects a struggle to be open with others about my pain. The Bible reminds us that vulnerability can be a strength, especially when shared with God or trusted individuals.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

Creative Doubt and Identity:

“I feel like everything I make is lame and fucking gross.”

This lyric speaks to the weight of self-doubt in my creative process. God has given me talents and they can be used for His glory, even when you feel inadequate.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)

Balancing Gratitude with Pain:

“I’ve been fucking blessed and I don’t wanna seem ungrateful.”

This tension between acknowledging blessings and feeling pain is a common struggle. God understands your emotions and invites you to bring them to Him without fear of judgment.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

The Desire for Release:

“Like a bird inside a cage is how I feel when I can’t say.”

This imagery highlights the importance of release and expression. God offers freedom from emotional bondage and gives us the courage to express ourselves honestly and healthily.

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me… to set the oppressed free.” (Luke 4:18)

Lyrics

I used to make a song in 40 minutes, then I'd post
And now it takes me weeks to even finish what I wrote
And then it takes me months to build the courage just to post
I feel like everything I make is lame and fucking gross

I'm sorry I don't scream as much, it's not because I changed
I'm scared to show the ones I love that I'm still feeling pain
Cause I've been fucking blessed and I don't wanna seem ungrateful
And I built up so much I can't afford to be unstable

But I still have a lot of hate inside I'm scared to show
It was easier before, I was the only one who'd know
And now I have to hide it when I feel it
But the hiding never works because I know that you can feel it

So please, I know that you want me to talk but that's not who I am
You want me to be real? Music's the only way I can
So please don't get offended when I say something offensive
That was not what I intended, I'm just tryna clear my mental

Like a bird inside a cage is how I feel when I can't say
What I need and what I want, hurting you is not what I want
So please don't take it personal, when I open up so surgical
Don't hurt me, I'm showing you something

i know that you want me to talk but that's not who i am.

Produced by septfree

This song reflects a raw, unfiltered expression of heartbreak, unrequited love, and obsession. The pain and longing in these lyrics capture a deep emotional struggle and also exposes the dangers of placing one’s identity and worth in another person. From a faith-based perspective, this song could serve as a powerful testimony of how unhealthy attachment can be transformed through God’s healing and the discovery of His unconditional love.

Unrequited Love:

“What I saw in you, you did not see in me.”

This line conveys the pain of loving someone who cannot reciprocate. From a Biblical perspective, this speaks to the human tendency to seek fulfillment in relationships rather than in God, who is the only source of complete love and acceptance.

Scripture reminder:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)

Obsession and Idolatry:

“Girl, you my drug, I’m a fiend.”

This suggests the unhealthy attachment and idolatry of another person. Biblically, anything we place above God in our hearts becomes an idol, which leads to emotional and spiritual harm.

Scripture reminder:

“You shall have no other gods before me.” (Exodus 20:3)

Heartbreak and Agony:

“Look at my heart, look at all these scars.”

The scars represent the emotional wounds caused by misplaced hope. Healing begins when those wounds are brought before God, who can mend them.

Scripture reminder:

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

Lyrics

Care so much about you but you don't see that
Told you that you were the one, you told me that you never could be that
And I know what that really means, what I saw in you, you did not see in me
What I saw in you I still ain't seen, girl you my drug, I'm a fiend

Where my hug at? This ain't a meme
Girl I need you, call me please
It's okay, I don't care if you lie
Can you tell me you love me?

I don't wanna leave june in july
My body is sick of this place
Too many games and I don't wanna play
I still got time but I don't wanna stay

All of the colors I knew are now grey
I really wish I knew what I should say
It's been so many God damn years
Why the fuck would you ask me if I am okay?

Did it stop your heart when you saw your name?
Oh, you thought changing it'd keep me away?
Oh, you thought changing it was the end of it?
I'm making songs but bitch I'm not pretending it

Just cause you don't love me don't mean that I stopped
Ooo shit, okay I'm blocked
You really think that mean something at all?
I'm down the street and I'm parked in my car

I can see you in yo God damn yard
You don't see me hiding in the dark
Look at my heart, look at all these scars...

*auditory agony*

NEED HER BACK, ALL I HAD THEN
NEED HER CLOSE, GIRL WHAT HAPPENED?
THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL
GUESS I WAS WRONG, GUESS I WAS WRONG

Care so much about you but you don't see that
Told you that you were the one, you told me that you never could be that
And I know what that really means, what I saw in you, you did not see in me
What I saw in you I still ain't seen, girl you my drug, I'm a fiend

just because you don't love me doesn't mean that i stopped.

Produced by flower x luffysome

This song expresses raw pain, rejection, and a deep longing for love and validation. It reflects a cycle of seeking fulfillment through a relationship, embracing pain as a necessity and using anger as a coping mechanism. From a faith-based perspective, it highlights the emptiness of trying to fill a void that only God can truly satisfy. It’s another piece of my story that could be reframed as a testimony to healing and transformation.

Misplaced Identity and Worth:

“I need the pain, I ain’t nothing without it.”

This line reflects a dependency on pain and rejection to define my identity, which ultimately leads to toxicity and despair. God calls us to find our worth in Him, not in our suffering or others’ approval.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession.” (1 Peter 2:9)

The Futility of Seeking Validation:

“Gave her my heart, she ain’t care nothing about it.”

This lyric echoes a common struggle: placing your heart in the hands of someone who cannot fulfill its needs. God offers the love and care that no human can perfectly provide.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

Embracing Pain as Inspiration:

“Fuck inspiration / I just got hate inside of my body and this where I take it.”

While pain has driven my creative process, this lyric reveals the limitations of using anger and despair as a source of inspiration. God invites us to channel our experiences toward healing and purpose.

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21)

Longing for Love and Connection:

“I just wanted to hold your hand.”

This simple yet profound statement speaks to a yearning for closeness and intimacy. The Bible reminds us that God is always present, offering a love that fulfills this deep need.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)

Lyrics

Some of my music might make you uncomfortable
If that's the case then it's not meant for you
I need the pain, I ain't nothing without it
So girl you can hurt me if that work for you

Gave her my heart, she ain't care nothing about it
Like bitch, can't you see that I did this for you?
That girl got the key to my heart
The lengths I would go, she don't know how far

I need the pain, I ain't nothing without it
Say she love me but I fucking doubt it
Nobody saved me, I was drowning
They don't hear what I'm saying, they just hear how I'm sounding

She don't care that I'm hurting, she left me deserted
I want her love but I guess I ain't worth it
I just spoke up, don't ask how I wrote it
I feel like a rodent

Everybody I see only wanna get rid of me
You don't understand what you just did to me
Girl, I wish that you knew what you meant to me
I'm so good to you but you so mean to me

What you mean to me, guess I don't mean to you
Girl, you're my drug and I fiend for you
Baby, call me when your lips are black
I would bleed for you

Some of my music might make you uncomfortable
If that's the case then it's not meant for you
I need the pain, I ain't nothing without it
So girl you can hurt me if that work for you

Gave her my heart, she ain't care nothing about it
Like bitch, can't you see that I did this for you?
That girl got the key to my heart
The lengths I would go, she don't know how far

Know that I should but I can't let it go
Did so much but you don't even know
If she isn't there then I don't wanna go
Need the pain so I don't wanna cope

Fuck inspiration
I just got hate inside of my body and this where I take it
Broke my heart but bitch, I ain't breaking
This a song but bitch, I ain't faking

Bitch I ain't faking, I swear
I would prove it to you if I cared
But I don't so I guess that you won't
And it's cool cause I know that you don't

Understand all the shit that I'm sayin'
I just wanted to be your man
I just wanted to hold your hand
But you told me that I can't

i just wanted to hold your hand.

Produced by flower x 5head

This song reflects a deep struggle with boundaries, emotional exhaustion, and the tension between loving someone and being drained by them. It captures the weight of giving so much of yourself that you lose your ability to thrive. From a faith-based perspective, this song could serve as a testimony of learning to set healthy boundaries and entrusting both yourself and others to God’s care.

Loving Without Losing Yourself:

“I love you to death but I can’t let you take my fire.”

This lyric shows the tension of loving someone while recognizing the harm that relationship is causing. The Bible calls us to love others as ourselves, not at the expense of ourselves.

“Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31)

Recognizing Emotional Draining Relationships:

“What is the point of this if I’m keeping you alive but I can’t live?”

This line captures the one-sided nature of a draining relationship. The Bible encourages us to help others but also to be wise stewards of our energy and resources.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

“Each one should test their own actions.” (Galatians 6:4)

Turning to God in Despair:

“When they thought I would fall, I said ‘Dear Heavenly Father.’”

This is a powerful declaration of faith in the face of challenges. Even in moments of emotional exhaustion, you’re turning to God as your source of strength.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

The “Sinkhole” and Spiritual Warfare:

“Hello darkness, my old friend, it seems you’re getting stronger.”

This reflects a recurring battle with darkness, whether external or internal. The Bible reminds us that spiritual warfare is real but God equips us to overcome it.

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness.” (Ephesians 6:12)

Lyrics

You asked for help, out of love I did and then I got fucked
And I won't help again, so please don't ask again
What is the point of this if I'm keeping you alive but I can't live?
And you may not even know but you're still a vampire, I love you to death but I can't let you take my fire

I been getting colder tryna make you warmer
You're the elephant inside the room, I'm in a corner
Tryna hold it in ain't making me no calmer
Hello darkness, my old friend, it seems you're getting stronger

And it seems you're getting smarter
Tryna figure out where you reside is getting harder
I been keeping close some things I should be keeping farther
When they thought I would fall, I said "Dear Heavenly Father"

You asked for help, out of love I did and then I got fucked
And I won't help again, so please don't ask again
What is the point of this if I'm keeping you alive but I can't live?
And you may not even know but you're still a vampire, I love you to death but I can't let you take my fire

I been getting colder tryna make you warmer
You're the elephant inside the room, I'm in a corner
Tryna hold it in ain't making me no calmer
Hello darkness, my old friend, it seems you're getting stronger

the moment the pit in my stomach becomes a sinkhole.

Produced by luffysome x noah808

This song reflects themes of regret, relational conflict, longing, and an inner struggle with social disconnection. It also subtly introduces faith through the acknowledgment of prayer and Jesus as a source of healing. From a faith-based perspective, this song could become a testimony of personal transformation, focusing on breaking cycles of sadness, detachment, and misplaced priorities.

Regret and Letting Go:

“I miss what I had / I wish that I could but I know I can’t go back.”

This line speaks to the pain of holding onto the past. The Bible encourages us to release what is behind and look forward to what God has in store.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Social Disconnection and Vulnerability:

“I’m so antisocial, I might smile and save yo digits / Just so if you choose to call me, I can choose to miss it.”

This highlights a defense mechanism to avoid vulnerability. God desires authentic relationships, grounded in love and truth.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

Cycles of Sadness and Prayer:

“Say ‘I’m done’ 100 times, 1,000 times I’ll crawl back / Gotta keep on praying, if I don’t then I’ma fall back.”

This shows a battle with repetitive struggles and the recognition of prayer as a lifeline. Prayer is indeed essential for breaking cycles and drawing closer to God.

“Pray continually.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

Free Will and Redemption:

“Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future / Your life could be good or bad, the free will is in the chooser.”

This beautifully summarizes the gospel message: no one is beyond redemption, and our choices determine our path.

“This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.” (Deuteronomy 30:19)

Lyrics

I miss what I had
I wish that I could but I know I can't go back
I wish you would call but I know you won't do that
Why I fucking care at all? Why I keep on running back?

Why the fuck I keep on making all these songs that sound so sad?
I got friends closer than my fam & fam that ain't my friend
Like yeah okay, we share DNA
But we don't share no memories from way back in the day

I got 130 contacts in my phone
I don't even call that many people in a year alone
I'm so fucking antisocial, I might smile and save yo digits
Just so if you choose to call me, I can choose to fucking miss it

We could of avoided this if yo ass just had called back
Karma just like me fr, one day it's gonna come back
Say "I'm done" 100 times, 1,000 times I'll crawl back
Gotta keep on praying, if I don't then I'ma fall back

Niggahs think I'm playing, if they do then they can fall back
I know that shit hurt, give it to Jesus, he can solve that
Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future
Your life could be could be good or bad, the free will is in the chooser

I miss what I had
I wish that I could but I know I can't go back
I wish you would call but I know you won't do that
Why I fucking care at all? Why I keep on running back?

Why the fuck I keep on making all these songs that sound so sad?
I got friends closer than my fam & fam that ain't my friend
Like yeah okay, we share DNA
But we don't share no memories from way back in the day

I got 130 contacts in my phone
I don't even call that many people in a year alone
I'm so fucking antisocial, I might smile and save yo digits
Just so if you choose to call me, I can choose to fucking miss it

i saved your number to make sure i miss your call.

Produced by kledyy

This song carries a deep emotional weight, capturing themes of identity, longing, self-conflict, and inner turmoil. It’s a powerful piece but it’s important to note that it represents a past version of myself that was caught in double-mindedness and seeking validation through relationships, identities, and external recognition.

The lyrics reveal a struggle with self-identity and fractured personas. I express the pain of trying to reconcile different parts of myself—Ken, Detmer, Garrett, Qayin, and unknxwn.—and the longing for someone’s love and acceptance.

From a faith perspective, this could serve as a testimony of how God’s love has provided me with the wholeness and purpose I was searching for through those identities.

Identity:

“Ken is my name but I’m not who he is” reflects the disconnect you felt from your true self.

Biblical truth:

God created you with purpose, and your identity is ultimately rooted in Him.

“I have called you by name; you are mine.” (Isaiah 43:1)

Love and Longing:

“Wish you would tell me you love me, you won’t” expresses a deep yearning for love and acceptance.

Biblical truth: 

God’s love is unconditional and fills the void that no human relationship can.

“The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love.’” (Jeremiah 31:3)

Inner Conflict:

“Garrett told Detmer to unhand me” and “I’m not alive, I’m an echo” capture the battle between the parts of yourself and a sense of emptiness.

Biblical truth:

True peace comes from surrendering all parts of yourself to God.

“A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:8)

Lyrics

Wish you would tell me you love me, you won't
You won't say that till the day that I die
I really wish I was who you'd want
You're in my heart but I'm out of my mind

They hear this shit and they think that I'm...
Can't even say what they thinking
I'm the only that could ever understand me
Garrett told Detmer to unhand me

I'm in a place that I can't leave
Wish that I was but I can't be who that girl want
Why can't she see?
Everything that she did, does, will mean to me

I need her bad, I can't let go
Gave her my heart but where that go?
I'm not alive, I'm an echo
I got unlimited songs like eckō

Why you leave me on my own?
I need you more than I need my own breath in my body
Cause what is it worth
If you're not the one that I'm spending it on?

Ken, detmer, garrett, qayin, unknxwn.
They came to save me when I was alone
Nobody else did, nobody else will
Nobody on earth will know the pain I feel

Guess I'll explain it again, Ken is my name but I'm not who he is
Detmer is all of the things that he hid, Garrett just wanna make peace and amend
Qayin don't really care who he is, he gone be cool with whoever he with
unknxwn. is an alias we only use it when tryna be confident but we be faking it

Don't call me crazy, I'm not, I make sense to myself and that's all that I got
Cause what's it all matter if what really matters to me is not what I say I believe?
So find out what matters to you & don't ever let it be moved
And don't ever let it get lost, cause you only get one and that's all

Wish you would tell me you love me, you won't
You won't say that till the day that I die
I really wish I was who you'd want
You're in my heart but I'm out of my mind

They hear this shit and they think that I'm...
Can't even say what they thinking
I'm the only that could ever understand me
Garrett told Detmer to unhand me

I'm in a place that I can't leave
Wish that I was but I can't be who that girl want
Why can't she see?
Everything that she did, does, will mean to me

I need her bad, I can't let go
Gave her my heart but where that go?
I'm not alive, I'm an echo
I got unlimited songs like eckō

ken is my name but I'm not who he is.

Dubstep/EDM track produced by Garrett Grooz called 'Run' out now. Follow for more.

Episode 135 of Flooressence Radio with Garrett S
1. Garrett S feat. Sam Schultz - Letz Go (big room mix) [Flooressence Recordings]
2. Oryza - Swiggin’ Saws [Soupherb Records]
3. Werner B., Earl Grau - After Eight [Subios Records] 
4. Kaufmann - Hit the Toad (Akari System remix) [Shadow Wulf]
5. Lovlee, Burko - Silhouette [HORIZN]
6. Cory Goldsmith, Katrii - Void [Clepsydra] 
7. L.ap. - Cyan [Off Recordings]
8. Melvin Spix - Rambala [Prospect Records]
9. Hertz, Wehbba - Flipped [Sway]
10. Human Resource - Dominator (Just_us Extended Remix) [Armada Music]
11. Metodi Hristov, The Yellowheads - Dopamine Nation [Set About Music]
12. Mattia Raviolo - Infinite Sunrise [VOLTA]
13. Cosmic Boys - Hype [Legend]
14. Spartaque - Starting Point [Codex Recordings]
15. Jay Lumen - X [Arcane Music]
16. NURIA - The Realm [TRAGEDIE]
17. Annie Hill - Accessive [Nervous Records]

Garrett S - Flooressence 135 (February 2025)

[* Alright, kid. Let's dance.]

Based on "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" by Usher and "Revenge" by CaptainSparklez
Original ("REVENGE" [Revenge x MEGALOVANIA]) by Orelover
Guitar solo from "I Feel Alive" (from A Minecraft Movie) by Jack Black

REVENGEANCE (A Minecraft MEGALOVANIA)

A Track Heavily influenced by dark Gothic ambient background music & Finally The Game Thief The Deadly Shadows By Looking Glass Studios & Eidos, Original Tracks By Eric Brosious Remix By <G[>,,<]J>

The Darkened Project

Episode 137 of Flooressence Radio from April 2025

1. Matt Sassari & BLR - Tambur [SASS]
2. INLINE & Spoon (HU) - Samsara [Music4Aliens]
3. White Zoo & Vom Feisten - Nach Pankow [Animarum Recordings]
4. Monococ - Shine your light [Music4Aliens]
5. AIO & HNGT - Growling [KOSMOS]
6. Gaga & Mateo! - Elements [Dark Face Recordings]
7. Roger Lavelle - I Feel Synchronized [Orange Recordings]
8. RanchaTek - Virtual Reality [Modular States]
9. INLINE & Spoon (HU) - Storm
10. Fade. - Light Divine [INVICTA]
11. ADRIANNA - Back to You [Kurai Records]
12. The Yellowheads & Marie Vaunt - We Rise [Reload Black Label]
13. 247 - Downtown [Odd Recordings]
14. Mauro Picotto, Bryan Kearney, Riccardo Ferri - Taotek [Armada Music]
15. HI-LO, Kasablanca > - INFERNO [HILOMATIK]

Full video available on YouTube: https://youtu.be/lx0Lz9KWQms

Garrett S - Flooressence 137 (April 2025)

Fatal crash involving Tyrone Mason highlights police accountability as NC troopers lied about their role, exposing systemic issues in law enforcement transparency through body camera evidence.

Tyrone Mason Betrayal Cops Lied No Charges

My debut single and it's already weird as hell! Very fun to write and play, vocals eh not so much, not really a singer lmao. Screaming's a different story though.

Deuce Bucket

Episode 139 of Flooressence Radio mixed by Garrett S.

(00:00) Aeolus - Xenomorph [Sound Avenue]
(06:18) Suspect One - Are You Afraid [AlpaKa MuziK]
(10:03) Neither Nor - Underneath [Senso Sounds]
(14:10) Suspect One - My Mind [AlpaKa MuziK]
(18:22) Le Son Du Placard - Behemoth [Music4Aliens]
(22:49) Suspect One - Addictive Frequencies [AlpaKa MuziK]
(27:35) Sabura - Who Are You (Roman Adam remix) [Alula Tunes]
(31:52) Nicole Moudaber - Soul Brothers [A State of Trance]
(36:13) Lautaro Ibanez - Stand By Revolution [Set About Music]
(41:35) OURSPACE - No Stability [Orange Recordings]
(44:40) Spartaque, The Yellowheads - Galactic Drift [Reload Records]
(49:28) Suspect One - Vibrating High [AlpaKa MuziK]
(53:46) NoNameLeft - Whale [Subios Records]
(58:08) Emanuel Querol - Let the Music [Prospect Records]

Featuring some of the best Techno from spring of 2025.  As aired on Digitally Imported (DI.fm) Techno channel.

Music video on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdCJk-wugX0

Garrett S - Flooressence Radio 139

Goofy weirdo musician from Napa, CA.
Willing to collab if you wanna sing, write lyrics, or play guitar, drums, etc. as long as bass duties are up to me, it's all good.

Known for hosting the Flooressence radio show on DI.fm, Garrett has been pushing his signature sound of Progressive House and Techno to audiences worldwide for decades.  As a producer under Flooressence Recordings, he continues to explore a unique fusion of Techno and Progressive.

Indie fandom artist making tunes sometimes.

I was brought up on classical & classic Music. Clair De Bussy, Mozart, I once heard a Kanto play, used to play Cello & Piano I can drum sing and rap to save my life. I would even listen to Gregorian chants, traditional Viking music. My taste in music is very vast. As Long as it sounds good to me I'll like it no matter the Genre.

New tracks tagged #Garrett