Can setting boundaries be life-saving? I’m Annette Leonard of https://www.annetteleonard.com find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theannetteleonard

You know that I'm a big fan of Dr Gabor Mate.  His book, "When the Body Says, 'No'" is a big part of why I'm still ALIVE today.  That's a big claim and I really mean it.  His work has transformed my life.  If you've had cancer or an autoimmune disease, get this book.  He talks about how our personalities, our family structures, our emotional tendencies, and our background have likely contributed to our illnesses.  While this is not about blame, it is about getting to root causes and, therefore, solutions.

When we are back in the drivers seat, we can make different decisions.

The job of our emotional system is to help us self-regulate and to allow in all that is nurturing, generative, healthy, and loving.  It is also designed to keep out all that is harmful, toxic, and poisonous.  He draws a parallel between our emotional system and our immune system which fundamentally does the same job to keep in all that is nurishing, nurturing, feeds growth, and to keep out all that is toxic, harmful, poisonous, and leads to cell damage/demise.

For those of us with chronic illnesses learning to set boundaries is a necessity. Self-care means learning to prioritize our self and in doing so, we have to set boundaries.  In Gabor Mate's new book "The Myth of Normal," he has an activity about what keeps us from setting the boundaries we need to set/want to set in our life.

The more often we examine, work our way through this activity, the greater potential for change we are given.  It is four questions for us to respond to:
1) Where in your life are you not setting a boundary?
2) What is your belief behind not saying "no?"
3) Where did I learn this belief?
4) Who would I be without this belief?

The illusions we hold about why we stay stuck have an opportunity to fall away.  Boundary work is self-care.  We'll keep talking a bit more about boundaries and chronic illness.

Here's my challenge: brag on yourself!  How are you setting boundaries?  What did you learn from this activity?  When did you say "no?" or any other aspect of boundary setting?

Because when we are sick and have any bit of the disease to please, setting boundaries for our own self-care is really challenging.  So tell us all about it!

Episode 406: Boundaries And Illness

Are you caught in the relentless pursuit of perfectionism, tirelessly trying to meet others' expectations at the expense of your own well-being? You're not alone. This podcast dives into the common struggle many face: the battle against the compulsion to please everyone but ourselves. It's a struggle that often stems from past traumas and the deep-seated need for external validation, which, in turn, obstructs our path to genuine emotional freedom and self-worth.

Tracy offers insight, guidance, and support to those yearning to break free from these restrictive patterns and embrace a life of authenticity and emotional liberation. Let’s uncover the challenges of what it is to live authentically with emotional freedom and break free of perfectionism and people-pleasing.

In this episode, you will be able to:
* Embrace freedom from attachment to unlock your true potential and live a more fulfilling life.
* Overcome perfectionism and discover the joy of embracing your authentic self.
* Cultivate self-worth and confidence to create positive change in every aspect of your life.
* Understand the dynamics of relationships to build healthier and more meaningful connections.
* Experience personal growth that empowers you to live a life aligned with your values and aspirations.

The more "you"  you are, the easier and more profound your whole life becomes. 
~ Tracy Crossley

#753: “F” Expectations

Probably my shortest podcast of all time, AND still a powerful one. I had an epiphany today that came as the result of a mistake. I'm so grateful it happened, because this is lesson I needed to learn. Check it out.

Oh... BTW... Here are some affirmations I came up with yesterday while I was on my way. I wrote them down at the red lights to practice with my inner child. Gotta rewire the tendency to feel bad for these things. 

So if you need to do this inner rewiring as well, try these:
-"It's not my job to keep everybody happy."
-"It's not my job to live an uncomfortable life for everybody's convenience."
-"I am good, even when I make mistakes."
-"I am allowed to make mistakes."
-"Even good people make mistakes."

Write them down somewhere you'll see them regularly (on a Post-It in your cubicle, on your bathroom mirror, in your Notes app, etc.). We need to remind ourselves until it becomes our natural next thought when we're being hard on ourselves. We're creating a new habit of thought to replace the old. 

Hope this helps.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

BTW Here's the song I referenced in today's podcast...
https://youtu.be/JsOVJ1PAC6s

It's About Damn Time

Marlene Dillon is a multi-talented single mom who's passionate about empowerment. Through her gifts of storytelling, songwriting, and her intuitive gifts, she shares insights on how to navigate life with more purpose. This podcast is called Share & Let's Live! because she believes that we all have gifts, passions, and interests that we came here to share. And as we release our reasons, beliefs, and hesitations, and begin to share them, we all get to expand. We are happier and we make our world a more beautiful place. So check out the podcast. Like, comment, and share. Oh, and a special thanks to Anno Domini Beats for the awesome track "Like That" which has become the signature sound for this podcast. Bless you for offering your music to creators like me. You're a blessing! 
BTW, I do cuss on this podcast, so you've been warned. These are my opinions and purely for entertainment and education. I speak freely. Share & Let's Live! with Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist's podcast and recordings are covered under the Privacy Policy, Terms, Etc. available on mdillondesigns.com. All rights reserved.

A lot of us live in our head, disconnected from our feelings and intuition. This podcast touches on releasing insecure attachment, accepting your authentic self and getting “unstuck” by connecting to how you FEEL instead of how you THINK. I’ve been there, and discuss sensitive subjects using my own experiences with a lot of laughs and even more empathy… because we’re all flawed humans.

Are you one of the millions living with a chronic illness or pain?  Our diseases may be very different, but we have many of the same experiences, obstacles and frustrations.   We are all working for a better quality of life knowing that pain and limitations will be our traveling companions.  My name is Annette and I'm the host of Chronic Wellness, a brief, weekly, podcast where we talk about it all: sex, self-care, mental heath, loss of identity, anger, how to navigate health care and have less days that suck so hard.

I have this belief that: If health is the absence of disease, and wellness is the presence of wholeness;  whether or not I'm ever "healthy" again, I can work work toward my wellness, my wholeness.  

Curious?  Join me where you listen to Podcasts, for a few moments of Chronic Wellness.

New tracks tagged #People-pleasing