Are you your own worst enemy in relationships? Whether it’s anxious clinging or avoidant distancing, attachment issues often create cycles of fear and emotional avoidance that sabotage the love and intimacy you crave. In this episode, Tracy dives deep into the hidden forces driving these patterns and shares how stepping into self-responsibility can transform your connections from the inside out.

🎙️ What you’ll learn in this episode:
* How attachment styles impact your connection patterns.
* Why unavailable partners feel familiar—and how to stop chasing them.
* Steps to break free from fear-based habits and nurture authentic intimacy.
* How to create a vision for healthier, real relationships.

"Every single person on this planet wants to be loved, but most of the time, when you have attachment issues, what you really want, you push away." ~ Tracy Crossley

#792: What you really want but push away

Attachment means you live in an itsy bitsy world, regardless of what it looks like on the outside. You are after a feeling that comes once in a while or never. The feeling of safety or security.

This started in childhood. Unknowingly it has limited your relationships, self-worth, and personal growth. Let’s scrap these behaviors, pain and feeling like no matter what you are back at it again. You can do it!

Key Insights:
* Childhood experiences are in the middle of your adult relationships.
* Avoidant attachment wants a hot fudge sundae, but leaves the hot fudge off. 
* Believing in yourself that it can be different is possible.
* How to know if you are growing will be answered too.

"Only if it affects the inside, and it's how it affects the inside, does it really change your perception of yourself and how you see the world." ~ Tracy Crossley

#795: Why Do I Feel Like My Relationships Are On Repeat?

We will all need help sometimes when it comes to our love life and romantic relationships.  Whether you're single, dating, in a relationship, deciding whether to leave a relationship or uncoupling right now - you can use Conscious Relationship work to help you. 

So, what exactly is Conscious Relationship work? And how can it help you?

In today's episode, I'm breaking down:

1) Exactly what Conscious Relationship work is;
2) How it can support you wherever you are in the love life right now;
3) Why it matters; 
4) How to know it's something you need; and 
5) How I can help you to do this work in my Conscious Relationship Coaching Program.

I also break down how Conscious Relationship work supports you with untangling insecure attachment styles and common protective patterns that get in the way of creating and experiencing the love, connection, sex & intimacy you desire. Enjoy! 

Apply for my Conscious Relationship Coaching Program today at: www.leticiaringe.com/crcp

Podcast show notes at: www.leticiaringe.com/podcast


CLB 286: The Conscious Relationship Coaching Program & What Conscious Relationship Work Involves

Dealing with the end of a relationship with someone with an avoidant attachment system. They love you, but they can never love you (unless they do the work). 

Lose Things Easy

Ever notice how you contort yourself to fit what someone else wants? When you play small, hide parts of yourself, or pretend to be something you're not just to have a relationship?
You can't have happiness when you're living a half-life. Subservience to an ideal—whether it's a relationship, a lifestyle, or some fantasy version of yourself—is just another prison you've built.
Ready to stop contorting yourself into someone else's idea of perfect? This episode will help you recognize where you're sacrificing your authenticity and how to reclaim the real you.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why suppressing your authentic self guarantees relationship failure
* How avoidants develop "imposter syndrome" in relationships
* The exhausting pattern of hiding who you are to please others

"No one who wants to suppress you and you wanting to suppress you makes nobody happy. Remember that. Happy people don't need another person to make them happy."


#807: Don't Be A Gumby

A bold, honest dispatch on avoidant attachment, desire, sex, and the sacred clarity of choosing yourself. Christen Rodgers unpacks what it means to be a woman who doesn’t collapse to be loved—and why she now prefers good sleep over mediocre penetration. For anyone tired of shrinking for approval, this is for you.

Avoidant, Funded, and Free: Dispatches from a Woman Who Didn’t Wait to Be Chosen

Are you exhausted from forcing everything to happen? From pushing through goals that leave you feeling empty once you reach them?

Most avoidants live like they're perpetually on fire—reacting, controlling, forcing outcomes because "easy" feels dangerous. But here's the thing: all that forcing keeps you from the very flow state that would actually get you where you want to go.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why ease feels dangerous when you're avoidant
* The difference between forcing and allowing
* How perfectionism keeps you stuck in empty cycles
* Sitting with discomfort instead of reacting
* Recognizing when you're escaping versus flowing

"When you're forcing, you're coming from a state of lack. You can't force a healthy relationship. You can't force anything meaningful. But we keep trying because we're afraid to let go of the false building we've created that everyone can admire." ~ Tracy Crossley


#617: How To Stay In The Flow As An Avoidant

Are you stuck in your comfort zone, waiting for someone or something to rescue you from yourself? You're not alone. So many of us live in what Tracy calls "the box"—that familiar prison where we feel safe but never truly alive.

We tell ourselves we don't need approval. We act like we don't give a shit what anyone thinks. But deep down? We're still waiting. Waiting for the right person to make it safe. Waiting for the universe to send a sign. Waiting for someone else to take the emotional risk first.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why seeking approval keeps you trapped in avoidance patterns
* How "safe" actually means familiar (and why that's dangerous)
* The difference between avoiding life and living in flow
* Why emotionally risky action is the only path to freedom
* How to break free from your own fucking prison, one small step at a time

"You have to create your own safety. And stepping forward and taking an emotionally risky action is the only way that you live a life where you feel it's full of joy and happiness." ~ Tracy Crossley


#818: Approval Seeking Avoidants

Are you exhausted from trying to make everything happen? From kicking down doors and forcing your way into opportunities that never quite pan out?

Stop. Just stop.

You think you're being proactive, but you're actually running from yourself. Every time you force something—a relationship, a job, a business opportunity—you're telling the universe you don't trust it to deliver. You're saying you're not enough as you are.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why forcing comes from not believing in yourself
* How attachment keeps you stuck in patterns of scarcity and desperation
* The difference between taking action and forcing outcomes
* Why avoidants struggle to value what they already have
* How to break the cycle of work hard → fail → repeat

"When you force, you're never emotionally available. I was forcing because I thought that would open a door that would bring what was missing, but it never did." ~ Tracy Crossley


#819: Are You Still Forcing Sh** to Happen?

Having a hard time? Yeah, everybody goes through hard times. You're not alone.

But here's what gets lost when life feels like a shit show: kindness to yourself. Not the bullshit "be kind to your neighbor" stuff—real kindness to YOU. When everything's falling apart, we get lost in all the circumstances and stories instead of asking: How can I be kind to myself right now?

Most of us can think those thoughts, but actually feeling it and living it? That's the hard part.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why we exhaust ourselves beating up on ourselves during hard times
* How avoidance and numbness keep us stuck in struggle
* The difference between problem-solving and actual self-compassion
* Why being honest about where you are IS kindness
* How small promises to yourself create real change

"It's not about the tenacity to get to the goal, it's actually the tenacity to be kind to yourself. The tenacity meaning staying on track." ~ Tracy Crossley


#820: Having A Hard Time?

Create a Life that is Beautiful is a personal development & coaching podcast with Award-Winning Coach Leticia Ringe supporting you to create the life, business & relationships you want! 

Relate Higher™️ is a series on the podcast, dedicated to providing the leading standard for conscious relationships: whether that be your romantic partnerships, friendships, family or your professional relationships. As well as support for all phases of the relationship cycle from deciding whether to leave a relationship, completing a relationship (including divorce, separation & break ups), healing a broken heart, dating & attracting new relationships, starting a new relationship and improving an existing relationship.  

Hit subscribe & get ready to create the life, business and relationship you want! Show notes & more at: https://www.leticiaringe.com/podcast

A lot of us live in our head, disconnected from our feelings and intuition. This podcast touches on releasing insecure attachment, accepting your authentic self and getting “unstuck” by connecting to how you FEEL instead of how you THINK. I’ve been there, and discuss sensitive subjects using my own experiences with a lot of laughs and even more empathy… because we’re all flawed humans.

Singer-songwriter based in Birmingham, Alabama. My new EP, "It's Just Rain," will be released in the fall of 2024.

New tracks tagged #avoidant attachment