mixed / mastered by lil narnia

girl I fuckin hate
the way you make me feel
blue blood inside your veins
mine stay red always will

girl I fuckin hate
the way you make me feel
you say you're over me 
but can we keep things real

I know theres something
she's only bluffing
how long can we lie to ourselves
I know theres something
you said you loved me
would you just tell me the truth

girl I fuckin hate
the way you make me feel
blue blood inside your veins
mine stay red always will

girl I fuckin hate
the way you make me feel
you say you're over me 
but can we keep things real

I can't take anymore of this
all I can think is of you amidst
all the bullshit
can't let go if I can't forget you
maybe I never meant to
Maybe I didn't try yet
close my eyelids forever
but if I can't forget her
 stuck in the center
of those brown eyes
pull together and sever our ties
try to remember memories are better than nothing
been lying to myself again
im a fuckin mess
try my best not to regret
all the time that we spent
girl I fuckin hate
the way you make me feel
blue blood inside your veins
mine stay red always will
girl I fuckin hate
the way you make me feel
you say you're over me 
but can we keep things real
I know theres something
she's only bluffing
how long can we lie to ourselves
I know theres something
you said you loved me
would you just tell me the truth

always will [prod. Nversad]

mixed / mastered by lil narnia

wishing you well
even though you're with someone else
and nothing but the numbness helps
when theres nothing to do
stuck in my room with these thoughts of you
wishing you well
even though now you're someone else
couldn't tell you how it felt
how much it hurts seeing you
so different now its what distance will do
every second awake
every step that I take
is another one back
hoping one day you'll ask
if I'm okay
i'll tell you everything if you care to know
what its like in this hell
hoping your doing well
so numb I cannot feel
anything but this guilt inside of me
blame myself for things I can't change
all because of you
I love the way that you fucked me
hate every something that we could have been
again and again and again and again
why can't you just love me for who I am
why am I always so fucking upset
all of my pain and my love is the same
it comes from a place with no one else to blame
other than me its all self inflected
wounds that bleed inside and no one can see
self destruction is such a beautiful thing
how does it feel to watch me suffering
how does it feel to watch me suffering while i'm
wishing you well
even though you're with someone else
and nothing but the numbness helps
when there nothing to do
stuck in my room with these thoughts of you
wishing you well
even though now you're someone else
couldn't tell you how it felt
how much it hurts seeing you
so different now its what distance will do

baby i'm wishing you well
scratching the walls in my cell
the clarity rings like a bell
if only i could say farewell
to the winds that carry me
into the shadows that follow me
they will treat you well
don't forget to carry me
in your heart 
feed my body to my enemies

self destruction (feat. LOCAL ZERO) [prod. Charlie Shuffler]

MERCH AVAILABLE NOW <3
https://teespring.com/stores/loserzonly

Like Gravity

LIKE GRAVITY FT. YUNGJZAISDEAD & LIL NARNIA +PROD. YUNGJZAISDEAD

I cant get over those green eyes
so pale but she's so full of life
I've never seen somebody so lovely
wonder if there's really something
or if I'm just fucking up again
I cant get over those green eyes
her hair her face the way she smiles
im fuckin dead
I love hearing about how you've been
thought about you every single day since
cant believe someone so perfect exists
I cant get over those green eyes
I swear her heart has flowers inside
so beautiful
words cant describe they don't even come close
send you my love inside of a blue rose
just say goodbye and ill leave you alone
I cant get over those green eyes
her hands are so cold just like her fuckin heart
swear that I love how you tear me apart
draw with my blood like its more of your art
miss you so much but I know that you arent
missing me the same
feel so alone now
thought you cared about me
did you ever even feel anything
or was it all in my head
was it all in my head

her heart has flowers inside (prod. slidinmoon)

mixed / mastered by lil narnia

I remember everything
heaven didn't seem so far
when you were with me
falling asleep in my arms
and theres a hell that she brings
always lingering in her heart
now its inside mine but
I remember everything
heaven didn't seem so far
when you were with me
simple and clean like kingdom hearts
now you're gone in a blink
wonder what you think of me
are you gone for good

or am I wasting my time
thinking you might come back 
and make this right
tasting blood when I bite down
miss you so much right now
wish I didn't find out 
all the shit you did
all of our promises are you heartless
I find solace in memories against the truth
me and you we weren't meant to be
god damn I wish the memory would leave

I remember everything
heaven didn't seem so far
when you were with me
falling asleep in my arms
and theres a hell that she brings
always lingering in her heart
now its inside mine but
I remember everything
heaven didn't seem so far
when you were with me
simple and clean like kingdom hearts
now you're gone in a blink
wonder what you think of me
are you gone for good
(jon)
about to take it all
just too far now
show the whole world who you are now
I remember how you raised the bar now
with all that hate laying in your heart now
I let you get close to me
you're not what you're supposed to be
wish you never noticed me
are you gone for good or am I

heaven didn't seem so far (feat. jon simmons)[prod. BlingBlou]

I’ve never felt so fucked send help my love I’m going under
I wonder what you think of me tell me is it over
wish I didn’t love you so much
I’ve been getting used to what it does
trying to loosen my grip
girl I know I won’t get anywhere by
holding on too tightly I’m trying
not to lose my fuckin mind
you’re so confusing all the time
I don’t wanna lose you ill do anything
damnit I think you’re gone already

I wonder what you think of me but
god I know i shouldn’t
fall apart every time that you come when
I’m standing still alone and fucking stuck
wish I didn’t care about you so much
miss the way we used to talk
lately you’ve been gone
so far off from what I thought I would want
I love you so much 
you can use me just know I love you and

I’ve never felt so fucked send help my love I’m going under
I wonder what you think of me tell me is it over
wish I didn’t love you so much
I’ve been getting used to what it does
trying to loosen my grip
girl I know I won’t get anywhere by
holding on too tightly I’m trying
not to lose my fuckin mind
you’re so confusing all the time
I don’t wanna lose you ill do anything
damnit I think you’re gone already

I don’t wanna waste my time with you
spend a couple months now I’m back into
this game that I hate and I know its forsure
that you’ll leave me broken when you walk out the door
wish I didn’t fall so easily
cuz I feel you start to walk away from me
and I know I gotta get my self together now
feel so small underneath this ground
can you tell I’m breaking
with every word you’re saying to me now
all my bones are shaking trying my best somehow

I’ve never felt so fucked send help my love I’m going under
I wonder what you think of me tell me is it over

gonna keep loving you
cuz its the only thing I know how to do
I’m useless I’m used up
your perfect I’m in love
holding onto pieces that would keep us connected
pouring out my heart I should have kept you protected
I don’t wanna lose you after all that we went through
if it has to be this way ill never forget you

send help (feat. kaiyko & familypet) [prod. curtains]

Every day without you seems
like such a waste and I’m afraid that I’m not ever gonna be the same
and everyday I’m so ashamed
to let them see what we’ve become and how it’s killing me
lately everybody asks where I’ve been
I’ve been doing my best to keep quiet
in my room missing you oh they’re lying
they don’t care they just can’t take the silence
lately everybody asks where I’ve been
I’ve been doing my best to keep quiet
In my room missing you and I’m trying 
so hard to restart but I’m finding that 

Everyday without you seems
like such a waste and I’m afraid that I’m not ever gonna be the same
everyday I’m so ashamed
to let them see what we’ve become and how it’s killing me

sick of spending every second every day
wishing that you’d come back or say something
everybody always wants something from me except for you and it’s so confusing 
sick of spending every moment every night remembering when you’d come over like it was just yesterday but who am I kidding 
did it to myself and there’s no forgetting

every day (prod. neek)

day 38 cant make it
counting scars like marks in the pavement
all the love in me turned to hatred
and beautiful things bring pain when
they're gone like we all will be
wish I could kill my fucking feelings
stuck in this hell scratched your name in the ceiling
starting to think that this is really how it ends
been 6 months since I've seen you
hope you're doing good yea me too
things have changed so much and I've seen a new life
it all fell into place without you by my side
then 10 years came and went so quick
your first love's gone and got 3 kids
it took so long but there's so much I've missed
I've learned life hurts but I love this

And all I ever really wanted was you in it
Maybe I'm meant to spend forever as a masochist

all I have left is in my head
a blank space with your name in it
wish you would have stayed but I understand
went too deep and drowned again
I think the pain made me love instead
pulled out the oages inside my head
felt what it means to see everything and
every being for what it is
I still miss you so much
but everythings hopeless and its not so bad
add another slash and run it back screaming

Day 38 cant make it
counting scars like marks in the pavement
all the love in me turned to hatred
and beautiful things bring pain when
they're gone like we all will be
wish I could kill my fucking feelings
stuck in this hell scratched your name in the ceiling
starting to think that this is really how it ends
been 6 months since I've seen you
hope you're doing good yea me too
things have changed so much and I've seen a new life
It all fell into place without you by my side
then 10 years came and went so quick
your first love's gone and got 3 kids
it took so long but there's so much I've missed
I've learned life hurts but I love this

Day 38

day 38 (prod. shon lindauer)

oh those eyes remind me that it all ends bad
hold her hand with the IV sticking out I cant
sit and say goodbye please baby don’t leave
it should have been me
it should have been me

I never felt as powerless as i did in the hospital room
every second and hour spent saying how much i love you
and I’m so sorry that I fucking lied
said I’ll protect you but I couldn’t this time
it doesn’t matter how hard I tried
how the hell do I say goodbye
i wanna be the way we were
but it just keeps getting worse
keep screaming at the nurse I’m sorry
watch them take away your body

oh those eyes remind me that it all ends bad
hold her hand with the IV sticking out I cant
sit and say goodbye please baby don’t leave
it should have been me
it should have been me
scream until you comeback
I need you please don’t go yet
give me one more day
why would they take you away from me
I’m staring at the sky 
and wonder if you’re behind with
a thousand eyes on you
sitting inside the blue it still doesn’t feel real yet
kneeling next to your bed and seeing you so damn cold
just tell me its all a fucking lie

oh those eyes remind me that it all ends bad
hold her hand with the IV sticking out I cant
sit and say goodbye please baby don’t leave
it should have been me
it should have been me

keep screaming (prod. neek)

ft. @sewerperson x @lilnarnia
prod. @youlooktiredx

lyrics
--------
wish i would’ve stayed in my bed
put all my dreams in my nightstand
you said i changed with your eyes red
whispered okay under my breath
(x2)

looks like you’ve got nothing done
your value is lost
oh what have you become
the critic inside you is holding a gun
to your head one false move and the chamber is spun
i’m a fake to myself live uncomfortably numb
mechanism for coping is biting my tongue
i’ve lost focus in all this sought solace in sun-
-light is burning my eyes which direction is it coming from
stupid thoughts hault my momentum run from everyone
and everything ignore your friends & family it’s fun
i stopped caring so damn long ago zero to one
i commentate my complications constantly i’m done

wish i would’ve stayed in my bed
put all my dreams in my nightstand
you said i changed with your eyes red
whispered okay under my breath
(x2)

you cannot hurt me
but she gon break me down into a fine pulp
this shit taste like chicken i can barely tell its asphalt
sumn creep up behind me when i turn around its no one
she could rip my face from off my body and its my fault
pause
she dont really mean it she just do it for the applause
i choose not to believe it all of a sudden i am calm
im convinced they hate me but they lock it in their thoughts
i just need some reassurance here and there to keep me going
girl can u tell me whats up
i cant read ur face when u got ur walls up
look out on the lake u could see it light up
its even better in the winter u should try to come up

seems like summer never started
haven’t left my apartment in months
why can’t I just get you out
keep screaming with my head down
feels like nothing is an option
and im always exhausted
tryna pull myself together
check my phone and its december whatever
wish i would’ve stayed youda liked that
put all my dreams in a nightstand
you said i changed with your eyes red
whispered okay under my breath

yeah
she makes home feel like a home in my head
and when i’m with her i feel hope again

willow ave (ft. sewerperson x lil narnia) (prod. youlooktired)

draco throat

old songs on soundcloud.com/alliknowispain

make your dreams your reality

△cid c△stle


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