LYRICS

CHORUS: 
Illuminator, proof creator
Truth elucidator and debate adjudicator
Tlluminator, proof creator
I’m the finished product, others stuck testing beta
Illuminator, proof creator
Others blindly guessing while I’m backing it up with data
Illuminator, proof creator
Drop some knowledge now and a lot more later

Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes with more rapidity
When life gives me lemons yo I cook with more acidity
Validity lies at the heart of every argument I make
Man you can’t get rid of me I never bend or break
What it takes, that’s what I do: never fake or shirk
Tim Gunn loves what’s been done, cuz I make it work
Now I show you how I bring the wow factor back to the game
Try to take me out?—get a smack to the brain
Whatcha made of, whatcha afraid of?
You’re the foreigner and I’m the logical native
Creative: free-stylin at the chalkboard
Though the lecture’s over they’re still hoping that I talk more
Sophomores, juniors, and seniors-even them first years
See my final exam, it’s like their worst fears 
Realized, right there in paper and ink—don’t doubt it
Got so many questions but they got no time to think about it
  
CHORUS

When I’m on the mike the crowd comes alive, like 
Peter Frampton or number Johnny Five, I
Short circuit all your preconceptions
And beat Nate Silver’s election projections 
It’s illuminator, not illuminati
I’m the proof creator, not some non-existent posse
Chopping logic like a boss, but I don’t know karate
Trained to rock your brain, but I came to move your body
When I step through the door, the room’s elated
Like Jonathan Safran Foer, everything is illuminated
Then I crush you using only my mind, like I’m Darth Vader 
Never need to throw me a line, the illuminator
I blend styles like there’s 10 of me 
Like Tarski from Berkeley with Chuck from Public Enemy
The Logical Biggie but minus violence and misogyny
If Dre and Frege made a baby, I’d be the progeny

CHORUS

Proof Creator

Whatcha call the logic mob?  It's the Association
A. S. L. not acronym, but abbreviation
'Symbolic logic' is what   the S L stands for
We rock it harder on the chalkboard than the dance floor
The scope is global you know,    like world-wide
Earth’s radius squared, times 4 pi    
Logicians! Make a wave of sound
Boost the amplitude til you’re shakin' the ground
Not just coast to coast, you’re thinking too small
Continent to continent yeah we bring it to ‘em all
except Antarctica--We’ll stick too what we know
Leave that to the penguins and geologists who study the snow
Uh oh, no, I aint dissin on geologists
In fact I love them cuz they stand up to apologists
for plutocrats buyin pseudo-science  attacks
Lemme drop an inconvenient truth: you can’t buy the facts
 
How you look, Where you’re from, who you love, it don’t matter, dude
Anyone can join Logicians With Attitude
L W A  We’re  here to make it clear
Women and men: join in from both hemispheres

I’m the acolyte, right? Of the A S L
That means I Do it for the love of the game cause it don’t pay us well
I feel compelled to describe the life conditions
Of we happy few, we band of logicians
Oh I’m quotin Shakespeare, we aint illiterate y’all
You want a great idea? The A S L delivers it all
Fall winter spring and summer via publication
three journals in all, disseminatin information
that the world could use, spread the good news
logical gospel, the one that ya should choose
Dude, whatcha waitin for? sign up for membership
Plan in January get ready for the December trip
To a national meeting of our association
pack your pen and paper cause it’s gonna be a killer education
Greater than any one you’ve ever seen
Hit the heart of the target like Katniss Everdeen

CHORUS

Logicians!  Rep your set -
 Let em know
the set you reppin aint empty
Here we go

All the way from Zambia to Canada to the brand is international
Docta Spock’ll mock us ‘cause he thinks that we’re too rational
Where on the globe do logicians go crazier?
Down south: yes Australasia
Making logics that are products of a great mind
one sentence true and false at the same time:
A true paradox --  Shock ya like a tazer
I came to pay respect, the ASL-raiser
Love the players love the game
How you know you won? When a theorem bears your name
Filthy Lucre ain’t the aim
We only search for knowledge, not fortune or fame,
Cuz see, We aint makin headlines on NBC or Xinhua
that don’t make us bitter like coffee beans or quinoa
I paid my dues – straight to Poughkeepsie
If you ain’t ASL, you got no way to eclipse me

CHORUS

Ask not what logic can do for you
But rather what conjectures you can prove

4 pi r squared (ASL)

Good Old Southern Rock. A classic redone with a heavier twist.

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