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Let’s go now – GRB, get ready to throw down
A Spoonfull of Suga makes the medicine go down
 Come on, mami, this surely can’t be fair
Why was I paired up with some wannabe gummi bear?
Sugabezy? Jesus, please, this should be easy
She’s getting teased like her cougar weave, see
This honeypie sweetie aint got fire to beat me
My rhymes defeat these Suga lines - diabetes
I bring the heat, melt Suga into syrup and toffee
Lyrical softie, you’re in hot water, stirring my coffee
That’s the only way that people will be thinking you’re hot
My ink is a blot injected like an insulin shot
Duck and hide from this cracker, I’d run on back inside
You’re on your own, Suga… monosaccharide
On this track you’ve died, watch her carcass bloat
When judges cast-a-vote, they won’t Castor-vote

Because you couldn’t drone that dead tone weaker
Stop recording vocals through your headphone speaker
Quit tryna write, period... hold your vagina tight
I’m serious, as Lafawnduh from Napoleon Dynamite
Crème-de-la-crème, what I’m typing is creamier
You couldn’t get a rise from kids with hypoglycaemia
My vapid competitor knows I rap it all better
This ghetto slapper has yet to fathom a Capital Letter
Sheer affront designed in every pun and jeer that’s one of mine 
It’s in the bag, brown Suga’s clearly unrefined
Looks like a lake bison, I’m slicing off a steak
And if she’s glycine I’m taking icing off the cake
Wisen up on making nameflips, ya damn foo’
My jokes are over your head, use them as shampoo
White dandruff on your face makes you look like Shamu
Or a panda who eats sugar cane and bamboo

http://imageshack.us/a/img812/4914/sl35.jpg

I saw a photo of her head and went WOAH
Chili from TLC really let herself go…
Who stapled a mesh bag onto Morgan Freeman?
Don’t act sour, better stir more sorghum cream in
How do you live in the birthplace of Tyra Banks?
When you wear a tank top, you're firing blanks
You’re over 30 now - stale, fat and old, just
Like Erica Hubbard struck with male pattern baldness
Flat yet bulbous, that’s one icky visage
Quickly, someone put the makeup back on Nicki Minaj
I do like my-lasses… but not molasses 
Holy crap, her swollen back is queen of moll asses
I make fun of sugarcube, then pause with a doubt 
Because it’s a foul, to look your gift whores in the mouth
Her maple syrup wets my maypole… get raped, y’all
Who doesn’t love to shove a Nib in their cassette tape hole?

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Advance to the top, I can’t be stopped
Panties drop, taking Bezy to the candy shop
Your chances of winning are thinnin’, it’s true
Sugar Bear? Must be a pot-head like Winnie The Pooh

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Check the pics that this chick posted up of her puppy
I can’t tell which one’s your hubby and which is your fuck buddy
Your dog is called Bruce? Already you’re failin’
It’s evident this female loves anybody Australian
I’ll try and tell a black joke. Might as well…
Christina Smith from California sounds white as hell
Light skin eyelids hide her highly Irish Albino irises
Twerkin’ it with Miley Cyrus
Leave this Suga beet, cane her and sack her in 
This saccharine sweet African won’t come back again

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I’m roasting ya, sprinkled over my fresh toast
The most worthless white powder on the west coast
You’re soft as cotton candy, Fruit Loops and caramel
I brush you off like rotten roots of tooth enamel
Watch this skeeze freeze up, I’ve shook her badly
Look at the camera, tell ‘em who’s your Suga daddy?


GRB 2013 Round 1 Nib Oswald Vs Sugabezy

I recommend you leave me alone,
Cuz when I strike it could sting for years
And bitch, I'd rather be feared than to be revered
So bow down when the king appears 
And keep clear
Cuz heads fly when Jokerr starts to swing his spear

I'm like Gerard Butler in a fuckin' Spartan suit
And the tip o' my black boot's 'bout to part them glutes
Like, who you really tryin' to start with, dukes?
I rhyme doper than you rappin' 
With my butt throwin' farts through flutes

The greatest rapper ever is me 
I hike from Sea World to Bisbee
And throw a stingray at you like a Frisbee
I'll leave you lookin' tipsy
Then cock back my fist and hit you so hard 
The impact will resonate through history

You piss me off 
And quickly you'll get stonewalled
I'm comin' at ya like the Indiana Jones ball
Kickin' rhymes so heavy I keep breakin' my own jaw
The Jokerr, Mr Grey, we told y'all

(HOOK)
We're bringin' it raw, we're bringin' it raw
We're bringin' it raw, we're bringin' it raw
We be comin' with the Jokerr smile
Jokerr hat, Jokerr style
Never like you've seen him before
(Don't be surprised if I crack your jaw)
We're bringin' it raw, we're bringin' it raw
We're bringin' it raw, we're bringin' it raw
Shutting it down
Taking over when we comin' to town
You'll be lucky if we're leaving at all
We're bringin' it raw

(NIB OSWALD)
Best call your exorcist, shaman lady and demon druid 
My balls swing like a Newton’s Cradle of semen fluid
A steamin’ sewer of pee, manure and gleamin’ cruor
Leave you screamin’ in a cocoon of tape 
As I ream ya through it
Lyrical jigsaw, causing disfigurement
Satirical Nib Oswald bores through your ligaments
Niggas, ignore your pigment
Pick up a mic and gig with it
Strychnine spit, the wickerman’s lit – it’s a predicament

I’m blowing up like nuclear fusion expansure
Propaganda you’re spewin’ is damn delusion of grandeur
Confusion, misunderstanding
Contusion, tumour or cancers
Here dude, I’ll spit in a bag to give you tranfusion of stanzas
Hear me roar, smearing morgue floors with more gore
Than Mordor’s Orc warlord hoards in Saw IV
Can’t rhyme ‘orange’ once I’ve torn the hinge from your jaw
My talent is Rare, lyrics Well Done 
And still I’m bringing it Raw

(HOOK)

Bringin' It Raw (feat. Jokerr)

They’re gonna print my likeness on your cash
When they bequeath my role as king, I’ll be ruling
Soon I’ll have found my own princess
Once I’ve worn the crown
The royal family

(Yeah, every day is like:)
Royal wreaths, grand dukes, sittin’ on the oak throne
Long reigns, gold crowns, sashes that are silk sewn
Grosvenor Square
We’ve got a battleaxe for our Queen
(We rule the Commonwealth!)
Mattress stack gets piled up on a green pea
Horse reins, Ireland, Harry smoking hashish
Rightful heir
My poor father’s losing all his hair

We’re the sovereign royals (Royals!)
Polo on a prized stud
A formal tux to eat my lunch
You slave away to make a crust
I shall be your ruler (Ooh-err!)
You can call me King Gee
This baby will rule
(O’er you and you and you!)
For the Windsor dynasty

Our London tower is stacked with gold
We hunt for foxes in the rain with our Corgis
I’ve got a sceptre, orb and ro-o-o-o-obes
My bloodline is rich
Your peasant life is crummy
 
(My every butler brings:)
Roast beef, roast goose, drippings and roast mushrooms
Champagne, boars, trout, pheasants with my gilt spoon
Millionaire
I dive in caviar for a swim
(We’ve got the governance!)
Bristol, Cambridge, highness on your 5 pence
Sirs, Dames, Knights, Lords, titles of a fresh prince
We all sneer
You weren’t brought up in a house of peers

We’re the sovereign royals (Royals!)
Pippa’s got a great butt
Our coat of arms really kick arse
With lions, unicorns and such
From the line of Tudors (Nudists!)
Flashing bods obscenely
We’ll show our Crown Jewels
(Crown Jewels, Crown Jewels, Crown Jewels!)
We love royal scandal, see

Stone of Scone
Oakwood throne
Rose!
We wipe with mink in our latrine
My pram is more a limousine
Noble folks
Opal clothes
Bows!
Kate Moss will be my new au pair
When you’re brought up on this high a chair

We’re forever your royals (Royals!)
Pardon me, like Thomas Blood
But it’s deluxe being your boss
My coronet with shiny cross
Life is such luxuriance (Lucre!)
In Westminster Abby
This baby will rule
(O’er you and you and you!)
In the royal monarchy

Royals - Lorde parody

Video: https://vimeo.com/83893252

[INTRO]
Go check your prostate!
Who is this?! (Limp what?)
They’re such… old… news!
Old farts! (Shut ‘em up!)
Boo! (Oh god, t-turn it off!)
(C’mon!) Tell Freddy to quit!

[CHORUS]
They said Limp Bizkit wouldn’t suck anymo’
They said the whole lame group would stop with each terrible show
We think that men in their forties should not go on tour
Your act is kitsch, as you jump around sweaty and old
Looks like your mosh pit is an elderly home
You shouldn’t headbang or you’ll pop your back, crackin’ a bone
A bristly chin from that paedophile beard that you’ve grown
And now we wish that this old bloated Freddy would go
Yeah, Freddy should go. Yeah, Freddy should go
You’re filthy rich, call it quits now and head on back home
Start getting more toned, by shedding a stone
Keep out the fridge and please don’t do Nu Metal no mo’

[VERSE 1- FRED DURST]
Fat, eating chocolate starfish hotdogs
Give those finger paints back to Lady Gaga
That's right it's Freddy D, the chubby-head emcee
You know this chump should have quit back in 2003 (Oh!)
What a group of schmucks, straight outta Jacksonville
Such a rip-off paying twenty bucks for Three Dollar Bill
Your clothes are looking tight, you sure you’re eating right?
Look like a walking lump of biscuit crumbs and cellulite
Still you linger on, when Linkin Park has died
This mic fiend’s getting plumper, lay off the pumpkin pie
You had your moment, guys. The 90s passed us by
Yet still you gobble-up customers to suck ‘em dry (Pay up!)
Damn, you jumped the shark hard. Zoolander and Eminem?
Zach Galifianakis called - he wants his hobo look back, man 
You’re still in stock? Where’s your latest album sold?
Oh, it’s on the shelf, hiding underneath the mould

[CHORUS]
They said Limp Bizkit wouldn’t suck anymo’
They said the whole lame group would stop with each terrible show
We think that men in their forties should not go on tour
Your act is kitsch, as you jump around sweaty and old
Looks like your mosh pit is an elderly home
You shouldn’t headbang or you’ll pop your back, crackin’ a bone
A bristly chin from that paedophile beard that you’ve grown
You know we wish that this old bloated Freddy would go
Yeah, Freddy should go. Yeah, Freddy should go
You’re filthy rich, call it quits now and head on back home
Start getting more toned, by shedding a stone
Keep out the fridge and please don’t do Nu Metal no mo’

[VERSE 2- LIL WAYNE]
What the fuck is up?
Uh, fuck, my words cuss a lot
I’m gon’ spit some swag, then clutch my crotch
Snort crack from a trashbag, much disgust
C’mon. Bucks! Bucks, bucks in the six figures
Concert double-charged so we’ve sold plenty more tickets
Schmucks! Suck up all this Limp Bizkit
Now we’re rich making lots as your spend your millions
Uh, and it’s easy to be rich, yo
See, if a teen’s white, take that kid’s dough
You’ll blow up from show spots where ya spits flow
Then make a music video with nymphos 
Yeah, do hip-hop, if you’ve flopped
I’ll take Limp Bizkit money, until they get dropped
So just Keep Rollin’, ‘til you’re head hurts
Let’s stack up more plaques milking Fred Durst

[CHORUS]
They said Limp Bizkit wouldn’t suck anymo’
They said the whole lame group would stop with each terrible show
We think that men in their forties should not go on tour
Your act is kitsch, as you jump around sweaty and old
Looks like your mosh pit is an elderly home
You shouldn’t headbang or you’ll pop your back, crackin’ a bone
A bristly chin from that paedophile beard that you’ve grown
And now we wish that this old bloated Freddy would go
Yeah, Freddy should go. Yeah, Freddy should go
You’re filthy rich, call it quits now and head on back home
Start getting more toned, by shedding a stone
Keep out the fridge and please don’t do Nu Metal no mo’

[VERSE 3]
So Wes is quite the artist, with ink and brush mascaras 
Doesn’t paint a picture, he paints colours up his armpits
Gotta do my house chores, then I’ll mow my damn lawn
My lifestyle after forty’s rather dull and quite the bore
I was a rock god, now zero albums sell
I should buy a beard comb, it really smells
Yeah, I’m old and getting round as my belly swells
Shit, my pants ripped, hope I brought another belt

[CHORUS]
Limp Bizkit, get the fuck out the do’
They said your whole lame group would stop with each terrible show
We think that men in their forties should not go on tour
Your act is kitsch, as you jump around sweaty and old
Looks like your mosh pit is an elderly home
You shouldn’t headbang or you’ll pop your back, crackin’ a bone
A bristly chin from that paedophile beard that you’ve grown
And now we wish that this old bloated Freddy would go
Yeah, Freddy should go. Yeah, Freddy should go
You’re filthy rich, call it quits now and head on back home
Start getting more toned, by shedding a stone
Keep out the fridge and please don’t do Nu Metal no mo’

Freddy Should Go - Limp Bizkit feat. Lil Wayne parody

(For Funk Volume "Don't Fu[n]k Up Our Beats" Contest #5.)

Nib Oswald
Dorsal fin, jaws, I’ll have your ribs guzzled
 Roswell conspiracy, lyrics of clear heresy
Rarely seen from my clerisy, spitting lit kerosene
All the Drake clones, I call ‘em fake
Snarling two-faced like some Gollum rage
You perform on stage, one dude hardly wakes 
I take over, the place goes apeshit like Harlem Shake

Doing this as a hobbyist, soon to be big - an optimist
I’ve probably missed my last opportunity out of joblessness
Optimus Prime, dropping rhyme like I’m on top of this
An obelisk that’s cropping out from atop the Acropolis
I cop a squat on the metropolis’ populus
Your snobbishness will cost an uppercut to your proboscises
Just preposterous, a subtropical ocker hip hop monopoliser
Geyser hotspot like Galapogas

It’s obvious, you should notch me up on your shopping list
So I can afford a proper sound board and recording publicist
For now I’ll copy hits to be stored on floppy disks
And cop the fifth when charged by cops for causing the apocalypse
I bring it sweet like chocolate chips, lolly sprinkles
Deck the halls with holy trinkets, holly ringlets
Swapped your Molly Ringwald ‘Teaching Ms Tingle’ 
With my polylingual single in your trolley for Kris Kringle

Harlequin folly, Robert Van Winkle
Call me Pringles, you can’t stop popping my jolly jingles
Now watch my ink spill, splattering spatters
Like Rorschach’s mattress satin sheet batting-off patterns
Sock your jaw back, leave you awestruck *POW!* Aw, fuck
Finna knock the niggardly attitude out some poor schmuck
Insulting your crew, assaulting a dude
Pouring molten boron, taurine and bath salts in the wound

Sadomasochist of Colorado massacres
Classicist aficionado, blacklisted radical shadow activist
Performing jail rock concerts in your cell block
Hardened thugs melt into gelatin from the shell shock
Unbearably ballsy, terribly lulzy
Causing irreparable damage like cerebral palsy
Class clown bagging out braggart fag prefects
Tag defects with neck rags, gag reflex

This lyr-ic-ist will script glyphs in the lab-or-at-or-y
A rabid horror story, gift of the gab oratory
Grab an abdomen swiftly, lifted and stabbed, thorax gory
Shivved and tagged as a drifter, stiff on the slab - mortuary
Caution, this will cause disproportionate nauseousness 
A torturous disgorgement from listening to morbid choruses
Debaucherous boorish laureate, tongue contortionist
Torching sorceresses from porches of scorched fortresses

You can’t take any more of this pure remorselessness
Awesome disses worry your princess like Lucy Lawless does
Dorian Gray portrait adorns my apartment quarters
I sordidly keep consorting with all of your budding daughters
N-I-B, the end of your pen I be
Representing S-Y-D to N-Y-C
Under 25? I’m gonna have to scan ID
And pass me an IV, cuz it burns when I pee




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