Swune

This piece is an exploration of my own gender via an open 5th drone representing the boundary between the masculine and feminine. Starting from the lowest possible note on the violin and crossing the boundary—sometimes playing in between the drone notes, sometimes falling back down or above the drones—this improvisational piece demonstrates the possibilities of gender through notes of various temperaments. What is gender but a range of expressions that one can fluctuate between and create something beautiful as a result of it?

Strings of a Gender Unknown- Violin Solo and String Drones (2025)

string orchestra, harp, and piano

 Tanner Pfeiffer, Conductor
Jason Fleisner, Violin
An Tran, Violin
Alex Rogers, Violin
Emma Nelson, Violin
Travis Taylor, Viola
Mary Dowd, Viola
Leah Waldvogel, Cello
Addie Hotchkiss, Cello
Stephen Cantarero, Bass
Jake Wheeler, Bass
Melissa Srb, Harp
J.R. Brinkman, Piano


Notes from my sister, Sarah Shea:
“What you are about to hear is a musical journey in memory of my son, Jaxon, Jared's nephew. But it’s also a musical journey of life and how quickly she can change. Life can swallow you whole in the darkest of sorrows and bring you out on the other side with the brightest of smiles. Jared composed this piece for an innocence lost—yes—but what the music holds is so much more. It’s the feeling of loss, for every one of us; the darkest sorrows, the fight, and the light that is waiting for us on the other side. 
I encourage you to shut your mind off—close those fighting fists; let the pain sink in, feel the sorrow, and experience it in your own way.  
Time will open those fists again; you will breathe again.  
Remember after pain you are still alive—not untouched—but all the same, alive!
Hope lives on. You live on. Love lives on. 
Love is our way of defeating the dark, our victory.
Jaxon touched lives. As well as all of you here tonight.
Thank you Jared, my brother and friend for finally giving us, what I believe, to be Jaxon’s voice.  
Love, 
Your sister.”   
!2
Notes from the composer:
Slightly over ten years ago, I lost my nephew in a tragic accident. In 2005, I would have been twelve years old—old enough to understand the situation, but far too young to fully comprehend the magnitude and gravity that this event would have on my loved ones and myself. It is apparent now after reflection, that I was never able to grieve the loss of my nephew. I was young, dazed, confused, and lost. It seems fitting that the world premiere of this piece should fall under the hands of my friend and colleague Tanner Pfeiffer—without whom this piece never would have been created.  
 
I repressed a memory about my nephew Jaxon...forgive me, as this will be painful to read, painful to relay, and painful to experience—but alas, it is the only way.  
 
When Jaxon was born, he was born brain dead as a result of the injuries sustained during a car accident when my sister was on her way to the hospital. The thing about being brain dead, is that it doesn’t take away natural reflexes. I remember someone had placed a cotton ball into Jaxon’s hand—his tiny fingers gripped the ball tightly. I remembered finally after a decade, a specific moment where I placed my finger in his tiny palm, his fingers wrapped delicately, yet firmly, around my finger. The natural reflexes of a young infant are for their fingers to grip something tightly. It is heartbreaking for me, that we were so close, and yet so far away. His natural reflexes seemed to be an omen of hope—we couldn’t let go if he would hang on.
The most tragic thing to me a decade later, is the idea that we were so close to him. He was able to hold my hand, but he was never able to open his eyes.  
 
I wrote Jaxon a lullaby. I chose to immortalize him in sound. Hopefully he will be able to sleep peacefully, forever.  
 
“Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.” 
— Eric Clapton: “Tears in Heaven” 
 
Hopefully this will bring me peace at last. Thank you for joining me in this moment.
— J.R.

Coronach For The Infant Soul

Halleuwu

CODE RED!

Contemporary art music centered on community, dialogue, communication, and story. tannerpfeiffer.com

CODE RED!

Tanner Pfeiffer

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