seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music
cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert

lyrics:
laying up at night 
no concept of myself 
i'm lost inside my head 
you're lost inside, as well 

i'm breathing in fresh air 
on my grandparents' front porch 
while you're laying in the grass 
or you're staring at the floor 

and anxious like i am 
i'm panicking again 
'cause i'm losing touch with all 
the people i call friends 

you're losing in a staring contest 
with whatever's in your mirror 
you are me and i am you 
but we're not one and i'm inferior 

i'm three beers past five too many 
i'm two bowls past too high 
i'm one forehead kiss away 
from falling asleep when i realize 

that my whole life is up in the air 
my heart is out on a tightrope 
and my mind is so unaware 
that the safety net was cut a long time ago 

so why should i remember 
when good times come around 
if the deafening silence of anxiety 
will drown out the prettiest sounds 

at the bottom of a riverbed 
my nightmares are coming on 
they feel like my favorite song 
if i didn't know the words whenever it came on

a conversation about identity

tea