Damn my last relationship fucked me pretty hard

This is one of my favorite songs of all time

i know this song because of sunset boy lol

so beautiful wonderfukkk luv this so much underratedddd

passei horas e horas ouvindo essa musica e pensando na vida. adorei!

sample: it looks sad - creature

i saw you in the window of my room
i saw you in the window of my room last night again
i screamed, "please don't go" at you
but those fragile bones still seemed to move so fast
and i know it hurts to hear
but i'm just no god damn good, my dear
i promise you i would not lie
i die to live and live to die

no one ever told me what the words feel like
no one ever told me what the words felt like
when you're asleep in empathy
and i'm awake in entropy

i met you in the parking lot outside of the high school
breathing in the fumes from cigarettes and trying to act cool
you asked me "do you hate yourself? i can tell you fit the part"
i said "self loathing? listen, just don't even start"
can't put into words the way that you intimidated me
was fighting with a mirror over which side was the fakery
we shared our stories, showed our scars
made that promise, crashed your car

no one ever told me what the words feel like
no one ever told me what the words felt like
when you're asleep inside a ditch
passenger seat, i lie and twich 'cause
no one ever told me what the words feel like
no one ever told me what the words felt like
i watched you die and spoke your name
but neither of us felt the same

NO ONE EVER TOLD ME

sleep and showers beckoning
like knocks upon a door
heartache spreads like rumored news
but i still ask for more
staring through a keyhole
at the light that glows outside
like watching family videos
the night after your loved one's died

laying a puddle of my own sweat on the floor
i must let these demons out before they eat my core
cannot stand to be here that much longer, i am sure
why waste time living anymore?

i see my face
on your pack of cigarettes
i see your lungs
in every dying star

we lie awake at night
two owls in a tree
fading in and out
of our immortality
i question everything
from myself to the sky
i hope that i might learn
a fraction of it all before i die

praying in a huddle for a couple extra days
i can spend inside my house and use for coping with my ways
i imagine heaven as a room in which you stay
and i imagine hell as when you go away

i see my face
on your pack of cigarettes
i see your lungs
in every dying star

why must we lay here? 
oh, why must we lay here? 
oh, why must we lay here?
oh, why must we lay alone? alone?

i see my face
on your pack of cigarettes
i see your lungs
in every dying star
i see my home
in your fucking sillhouette
i see my loneliness
in your absence

absence

a song that functions as a coping mechanism

maybe i'll leave home today and drive or walk around
i could meet some friends for dinner at a restaurant downtown
but something tells me it's a bad idea to outside
that little voice inside my head that whispers "you might die"

maybe i'll get out of bed and go down to the store
i could buy a couple candy bars or bleed out on the floor
i'm so prone to accidents and awkward little habits
i don't wanna leave my room, i wanna hide out in my attic

i am afraid of everything
i run away from everything

i think i'll go out tonight, and maybe see a movie
'cause there's so much to fear in life, but also so much beauty
i know that my condition is difficult, alright
but i'm sick of letting all my friends believe that they're disliked

so i'm gonna leave my house today
i'm gonna say all that i need to say
and i'll talk to strangers and compliment them
to prove to myself that i'm strengthened again

i am okay with everything
i'll be okay through anything

anxiety; self-reliance

feelin' gross & morose

lyrics:
don't love an artist
if you don't love yourself
'cause they'll paint all your flaws
and they'll make them look beautiful as hell

and don't love an artist
if you like what they make
'cause you'll be immortalized in thousands of notebook lines
and splotches of paint

and when they leave
you'll be stuck with a hole in your chest
with the scent of their skin
and the feel of their bed where they rest
and you can't forget
'cause you live in their works
and when you see those pieces
they just make you feel worse

'cause they knew who you are
oh, they knew very well
but the truth is that now
what you're left with is only a shell

so don't love an artist
'cause they'll take who you were
and they'll hide you in acronyms
bury you deep in the shapes of their words

and when they leave
you'll be stuck with a hole in your chest
with the scent of their skin
and the feel of their bed where they rest
and you can't forget
'cause you live in their works
and when you see those pieces
they just make you feel worse

they just make you feel worse

dont love an artist

don't love an artist

split betwixt patrick and i !

download: 
https://themostbeautifulimages.bandcamp.com/album/split-with-tea

https://teatea.bandcamp.com/album/split-with-the-most-beautiful-images-created-to-be-destroyed

is that so hard - tea

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music
cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert

lyrics:
the fan beside me's humming at a steady a# 
i can just make out the note on my phone screen 

it's 6 am again and i'm still crying over things 
that i've been crying 'bout as long as you've known me 

eternally unhappy 
i'm alone 

severing the cartiledge 
and bone 

i want to be rid of every 
piece of me that's left 

until i float 
i am a ghost 

the world around us spins as we wait for it to end 
hey, guys, do you think that we could do that sooner? 

waking up's a chore, i walk the labrynth on my floor 
and realize that i'm a fucking loser 

eternally unhappy 
i'm alone 

severing the cartiledge 
and bone 

i want to be rid of every 
piece of me that's left 

until i float 
i am a ghost

winter

download <3

fan (ghost)

thunder outside
in the sky, flashing lights
i can try, try to sleep
sleeping through everything

sorry if we had

plans, ruining
subtle hints make me think
that you hate spending time
here with me, so do i

but i'm stuck here for
good

thunderstorm

thunder

cover photo taken by mads

chain smoke the hunger away
only eating one meal a day
on a good day, but the good days
will never come

i got so used to loss
that is sort of became part of me
i lose myself in my head
i lose my patience in the agony

i lost my youth in the fallout
of somebody else

who took advantage of trust
and left me hating myself

it's always there in my dreams
i put myself through your hell

why did you do those things to me?

sit down on the side of my bed
and contemplate the endless nothing sat inside of my head
it's such a slow burn, but the candle
is always lit

i got so used to fear
it learned to manifest in me
i fear the ending of it all
i fear your reckless apathy

i fear that everything's boring
and nothing will help

it's like it's all in a cycle
my dwindling health

i feel the breath of the reaper
on the side of my neck

why do i still get out of bed?

reckless apathy

constantly reminded of my past self's dumb mistakes
wishing i could go back in time

dreaming on repeat, climbing up the staircase
stepping into open air

nicotine for dinner, you ask if i've lost weight
the truth is that i didn't mean to

panic in the bathroom, 'cause the person in my mirror
is a foggy recollection of me

but i have to be okay
you say there's just too much at stake
and i'd throw it all away
if i said goodbye today

i have to be okay

hi sorry this is really sad

get drunk to forget that i could jump
sober up and wanna do it twice as much
drink more, but it’s never quite enough
think morbid thoughts to feel more stuck

pass out in the morning when the light
floods over the empty void of night
and this sickness i can't fight
will constantly ruin my life

'til i pass out
on the floor again
and feel the air under my feet
i’m always falling in my dreams
but they aren’t nightmares
i think they’re omens
of what’s coming for me
i see demons in my sleep
then i wake up

get high to forget how much it hurts
come down, just to end up feeling worse
six years of therapy reversed
by every line in every verse

used to write poems just to cope
so ironic, now the rope
around my neck’s entwined
with every letter, every line

my writing
is getting better
but i’m certainly not
put me in the ground to rot
and don’t remember
please forget me
‘cause every memory you keep
will be more pain on you from me
than i can take

sickness (8th floor blues)

hi how r u i'm ok also this is old

counting all the constellations
i can see without all this pollution
everything will come and go
your permenance comes from all the reminders

always waiting too long
plucking strings from the spiderwebs hanging down
it's all meter when you're living in song
move slowly to an infinite, monotonous sound
barely eating, always staying in place
depression nesting in between these hollow parts
something endless in my monochrome dreams
i'm a nobody now that you've taken my heart

counting all the constellations
i can see without all this pollution
everything will come and go
your permenance comes from all the reminders

nobody (2018)

tea

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