Hand on the Rock Selection

Dysfunction In My Function                        

There’s dysfunction in my function
There’s a mess inside my mind
Got a crack in the foundation
Too much water in the wine
Gonna stake out, break out,  give up the ghost
Take no prisoners, leave my post
There’s dysfunction in my function
Please be kind


There’s dysfunction in my function
There’s a bug inside my brain
Wired for sight and sound, I hear
The beauty and the pain
As they shake it, break it, keep turning those screws
I'll hammer out this message
Excavate it for you
There’s dysfunction in their function
They're all the same


            So if you want to build it with me
            You’ll have to settle for my carpentry
            Trying to fix it using string and glue
            Embrace the madness, let it fall on you
            Forget those money back guarantees
            Construction stalling with apologies 
            Climb out of the rubble
            Try another point of view

There’s dysfunction in our function
There’s a war within our world
Forget conjunction junction
Too many lonely boys and girls
If you wait for perfection, you'll be stalling too long
Rolling your eyes at this bedroom song
There’s dysfunction in your function
There’s dysfunction in my function
There’s dysfunction in the function
 Of this world



            

             

             




Dysfunction In My Function

my futile attempt at transcendence despite the wise teachings of Ram Dass (aka Richard Alpert), whose insightful words bookend this song


Get Lost  

Gonna take a trip inside myself                                                
To find serenity
It’s not a place I know so well
But it’s where I’m taking me
I start this meditation
Close my eyes and count to ten
Lose myself and take a breath 
Repeat it once again

I get lost, get lost
Then I think too much and grok it up
My mantra just got tossed
Get lost, get lost
Conscious seething, breathing
Got my toes and fingers crossed

Drive the coast to Big Sur
A former hippie way
Timmy Leary, Dicky Alpert
What do those mushrooms say?
Well, Timmy went to prison
And Dicky changed his name
And me I go in circles
I can’t understand my brain

Get lost, get lost
Albert Hofmann’s in the kitchen
He can cook that secret sauce
Get lost, get lost
I wanna reach the 5th dimension
Go beyond my permafrost
                                                                                         
OOHH  the infinite beauty
OOHH the infinite me
OOHH the intoxication
Oh don't do don't do
 just be…. Let It Be

Ram Dass, the Dali Lama
Baba is my name
Yogacise don’t moralize
I play the Buddah game
Psilocybin take me higher
Mother Earth I feel her near
Holds me in her sunshine
I dissolve and disappear

Get lost, get lost
Then I think too much and grok it up
My mantra just got tossed
Get lost, get lost
I wanna reach the 5th dimension
Go beyond this permafrost



Get Lost

Robert DeNiro  

Watching movies back in 76                                       
We all dug Taxi Driver                                                    
See the people how they’re passing him by
"Hey Sport How’s Iris?"
Pushups, pullups, alone in his room
No more pills for his body
He’s organized, his muscles are tight
Training to be somebody

Are you talkin’ to me?                                                     
Well, I'm the only one here
Are you talkin’ to me?

I wanna be like Robert DeNiro                                     
He was my Raging Bull, my anti-hero                        
Resonated with all of us weirdos
I wanna be like Robert DeNiro       

On those Mean Streets, shufflin’ his feet
He don’t trust anybody
Maybe not the best way to be
He wants to be somebody
You saw what happened to poor Johnny Boy
"We don’t pay Mooks" and that’s that
“Now's the Time”, then a shot through the void
Somebody’s paying him back

Are you talkin’ to me?
I think you're talking to me

I wanna be like Robert DeNiro
He was my Raging Bull, my anti-hero
Resonated with all of us zeros
I wanna be like Robert DeNiro   

You never got me down Ray   
Better to be king for a night     
Than a schmuck for a lifetime  
I always preferred Godfather 2 
I think it was because of you    
Hey Robert projecting to that little world of mine  

We both grew older over the years
Not so serious lately
Middle age and those Senior fears
We're getting grey and less shapely
You served me well then, back in my youth
Now it all seems so hazy
Let's travel back, take a New York trip
And hang out with Scorsese

Are you talkin’ to me?

I wanna be like Robert DeNiro
He was my Raging Bull, my anti-hero
Resonated, reverberated with all of us weirdos
I wanna be
Maybe you wanna be
Nobody can be like Robert DeNiro

Robert DeNiro


intro is a quote from the novel Cat's Cradle(1963) by Kurt Vonnegut Jr

My Compass is Broken

Plans are vague                                                             
Imprecise                                                                         
Indistinct                                                                          
Like men and mice                                                        
But it's better than having a stone cold point of  view   
Feeling lost 
Cast adrift
Gone off course 
Missing ship
No need to understand where I'm heading to

My compass is broken                                                  
The arrow is starting to spin                                         
This path unspoken                                                       
Not sure of the place I'm in                                           
Do I turn East?                                                                
West?                                                                               
Father does not know best                                           
My compass is broken                                                  
I don't know what to do       

                                           
Empty maps
Beckon me
Find the lost
City of Z
Take a long, strange trip inside my little head
Foreign fields
Hallowed ground
Misunderstood
Tightly wound
Instead of finding the treasure, I find myself instead

Oh, my compass is broken 
A newfound split past everyone 
From one pole to the other 
Like Peary, Scott and Amundsen 
Do I turn North?
South?
Living foot in mouth
My compass is broken 
What do I have to do?

Peculiar travel suggestions                                           
Are dancing lessons from God                                    
So move your feet to this rhythm                                 
And do the Mashed Potato                                          
Or the Kurt Vonnegut                                                          

Grow a pair
Get a grip
Find a job
F#$* that shit
Destination unknown
Take a chance, enjoy the view

My compass is broken
It's a world of bobble and spin
I'm awake but unwoken 
It's the best place I've ever been
Switching it on....off....
From the equator to the permafrost
My compass is broken
Don't call the rescue crew                                           
My compass is broken                                                  
I'm far away from you                                         
My compass is broken
Do what I have to do


Lyrics Hand on the Rock/ K Vonnegut Jr
Music Hand on the Rock

My Compass Is Broken

Tired of the guns, the shootings, the wars, the deaths....if only I had a.....

 superpower

If I had a superpower                                                    
Our friends, their final hours
I would want to slow
I’d even have a name 
Call me Mr. Freeze Frame
I'd probably have a cape you know

I will move amongst the crowds
I’ll grab those bullets now
Pick them out of the air 
I 'll slide across the ground
I will not make a sound
No one will ever know I’m there

If I had a superpower                                                  
If I had a superpower

If I had a superpower
The laws of physics 
I would break them all
Mr. Isaac Newton 
I would disprove him
To stop this murderball

I would keep them close and safe
Protected by my cape
No harm would come to them
I would stop the fires
I would douse the flames
And I would save all of them

If I had a superpower
If I had a superpower

I close my eyes                                                               
Always the same old refrain                                                                                                                                                  Peace in our time,
will it ever come again                 
Wake up this morning                                                   
Count too many names                                                 
So many sad goodbyes                                                                        
If I had a superpower
Perhaps just like a flower
I would want to be
My face against the sun
In a world that’s come undone
From this springtime tragedy 

I would not need to cry
Love or hate or say goodbye
Flowers only feel the rain
They die and bloom again
For them, it doesn’t end 
They can't feel this human pain

But I don’t have a superpower 
no, no
I don’t have a superpower  
no












superpower

simple song about a simple time way back when
#lofi   #first love  #losing yer VitaminC

Tangerine
                                                                                     
Well I was thinking of how we used to play                                        
Oh so many years ago
Made up some silly names
No one knew what we meant
Where did that time with you go

I recall you had a passion for those fruits
Called me your Red Raspberry Toy
You were my mashed Banana Girl
Well that really cracked you up
And I was your Cherry Baby Boy

Then our time was over when you said                                                                        
Your Daddy’s gonna move the family west
On that final day, you pleaded, “Hold me Sugar Plum,
and whisper the name I like the best”

Tangerine, Let me be  the Apple of your eye
My Tangerine, I’m sticky and sweet, your guy
Oh Tangerine, my first love
Now say goodbye

You sent me letters saying you’d always wait for me
Using veggie names to cheer me up
I became your Broccoli 
and I christened you Sweet Pea
It was all I had but it was enough

Saying when can I see you my Cauliflower Queen
I would call you up but we couldn't talk for long
Paying by the minute, those long distance charges added up 
There was only time for me to sing your favorite song

Tangerine, I wanna  be the Apple of your eye
My Tangerine I’ll always be sticky and sweet, your guy
Tangerine, you were my first love 
Now say goodbye
Goodbye





Tangerine



Feb 11 1963....Death of Sylvia Plath... 62 years ago... 
Florida Dawn reference found within the pages of  the Bell Jar her only novel
Sylvia Plath reading a portion of Lady Lazarus opens tune...

Florida Dawn

All that we touch                                       
Turns to dust                                            
The flesh gone frantic                              
The ink upon the page                         
The idea stays                                         
Reading pages of Plath                            
Such a sad aftermath                               
I picked up those letters                             
And sprinkled some bits on your grave       
See love where it lays                                 

That February spinning round                       
Breath is getting thin                                     
Sit and watch the ocean tide                         
Centuries crashing in                                     
In the Florida Dawn                                        
Another episode of cruel                                
The leader and the ones lead on                    
Who's playing tricks on who?                          

Rain begets rust                                           
Turns steel into dust                                     
The flesh gone static                                    
A chemical tease for the brain                    
Why did you read her again?                          
She did a Sylvia Plath                                 
Climbing into the bath                                    
I'll spare you the details,                               
the end result was the same                       
Minus the fame                                            

Now everything is spinning round                 
In this space I'm in                                       
I sit and watch the ocean tide                        
All those centuries crashing in                       
In the Florida Dawn                                       
Replay your episode of cruel                            
The leader and the one lead on                    
Who's playing tricks on who?                          

I walk these words and find myself              
Where you said you'd be 
I walk these words to where you ought to be                            
But there's only me                                       







Florida Dawn

song about a  past neighborhood  tragedy....happens everywhere , all the time I figure... sad things.. bad things..

Lost Horizon

Solo standing street light shine                                     Your hands reaching out to mine
Floating up through the evening skies
Just like hail and gentle rain
Love is soft, but love is pain
and hard to find under our thin disguise

Cause now that you’re gone                                         
It’s a matter of fact
My lost horizon is fading to black
Got a weapon of war
In my neighborhood 
Cops at the door 
they know I’m no good

Welcome to this land of shit
Head is pounding, eyes are lit
Falling down to meet my gin-soaked master
Empty bottles line the floor
Brimstone shackles on the door
Once a child now a lonely bastard

Cause now that you’re gone
It’s a matter of fact
My lost horizon has faded to black
Got a weapon of war
In my neighborhood
Cops at the door 
I know I’m no good

Shots through the window     
The smoke starts to rise         
And I'm floating so far away   
The look in their eyes             
They can't  touch me              
There’s nothing to say            

Cause now that you’re gone
It’s a matter of fact
My lost horizon has faded to black
Got a weapon of war
In my neighborhood 
Cops at the door 
They know I’m no good
I know I’m no good




Lost Horizon

....an old tune.... campfire version....
......too many Lou Reed records..... 

Lou Reed

You know the sin of the mother and the fist of the father 
Fuel the fires of love and hate  
Syracuse surrender, they've come to pick you up
Electric smile and medicate
I feel the body broken
They try to kill their sons
Or lock us up, this ain’t no Lady Day
Our life, their lie undone

Lou Reed, Lou Reed
In dreams begin responsibilities 
Lou Reed, Lou Reed
I'm feeling it how ‘bout you

Reject and inject, feel the New York streets
Forget about that Summer of Love 
Working for the Factory, Andy took you in
But that Velvet life was not enough
Dexys, ludes and heroin
Me, I just went back to school
Some close calls till we got off that shit
By then I had conformed to their rules

Lou Reed, Lou Reed
The glory of love is what us sinners need
Lou Reed, Lou Reed               
I’m feeling it how ‘bout  you

In my darkness                                                             
Berlin plays for me                                                      
Spinning round in circles                                              
Alaska we be free                                                          
And it was alright                                                            
It was alright    
                                                                                  
Poet, pilgrim, we’re the same my friend
Though your journey left me far behind
Street hassle meets the soft surrender
Twilight reeling inside your mind
Buddha smile and meditate
The fears are still outside the door
I kick it open and I’m getting out
Now I can see like I saw before

Lou Reed, Lou Reed
Play some football for the coach, Coney Island Baby
Lou Reed, Lou Reed
I’m feeling it how ‘bout you

Lou Reed, Lou Reed
Like a fist through the window 
the bite and the bleed
Lou Reed, Lou Reed
He's feeling it how ‘bout you

Lou Reed

them players gotta play....
but the rest of us  ....well, we struggle 
a little song about embracing limitations ..very rough and loose as expected... My aim is almost true...

Struggle with the Soloing

I got the rhythm                                                               
I got the rhyme                                                                
I got the freedom                                                           
I got the time                                                                   
I got the motive
Same for the motivation
No more excuses
Stop the wanting and the waiting
Whoa, oh, oh                                                                   
Play me some guitar hocus pocus                                     
Such a thrill, hear that Roxy Phil                               
I will lock, I will load                                                        
But I struggle                                                
Struggle 
Struggle with the soloing                                                            
Gotta perfect my Public Image, channel  Keith Levene 
Be like a Dr. Feelgood with that Wilko riff machine
I'll never be a Motorhead, I'm just a song surveyor
Following a fretboard to the land of the lead player
And Whoa oh oh oh
To me it’s all such hocus pocus
Feeling wary about Mr Berry
I am locked, I am  loaded
But I struggle
I struggle with the soloing

 Focus on the tone            
 The phrasing, stay in zone
 The hammer and the bend
 The learning never ends
 Gone solo on the wire            
 The map from fault to fire
 The effort’s everything 
 Focus, focus,                                            

The path to Kath, I’m just not finding it
Nor can I  Thunders pose my Rock n Roll or Hendrix those licks
BB, Al and Freddy, I gotta bow to those Kings
Their blue notes coloured coding inside everything
And whoa, oh no, all those sounds are just a hocus pocus
My fingers caged, how do I Beck or Page?            
The time is right 
But I struggle
I struggle 
Struggle with the soloing 




Struggle With The Soloing

      ...it's a mystery
how a devil got in me.......                                   

opening sound bite 1- This Wheel's on Fire- Bob Dylan and the Band
other sound bites..too obvious to state

The Wheel of Fortune                                  
 
The Wheel of Fortune                                                   
This game of life                                                            
The search for the answers                                         
They won’t ask you twice                                               
I won a trip to Jamaica
I’ll take my submarine
I'm going down to do battle
With those riddle machines

See me jumping up and down                                      
Laughing, crying, TV clown                                          
Lights and bells around us spin                                  
Whisk us from the space we’re in                                
Sajak, two-jack, city boy                                              
Peals of Vanna, verbal ploys                                        
Competition under my skin                                           
Tax it back and start again                                                                                
The Wheel of Fortune is calling to me... gonna set us free
The Wheel of Fortune will be burying me,  in sweet luxury

The Wheel of Fortune
I got a free spin
Then I landed on cancer
Look at the shape I’m in
Another trip of a lifetime
I’ll paint it hospital green
I like those tropical colours
I like to  keep it clinical and clean

A lonesome gurney destiny
IV lines that run to me
Buy a vowel or bust a rhyme
I’m slowly running out my time
Sajak, turn back,mirror ball
Vanna speaks in hallowed halls
Channel’s changing, turn it off
Chemo treatment, wheeze and cough

The Wheel of Fortune is rescuing me... seriously
The Wheel of Fortune, it’s a mystery... how a devil got in me 

Bankrupted space, I’m forced to kneel
I’m strapped onto this Catherine wheel
My melting bones, the pain is real
"Let’s start the fire," Dylan squeals
Notify my next of kin
Round and round my head, it spins
Another game I can not win
Better take a breath, better start again

The wheel of fortune is turning for me…. gonna set me free
The wheel of fortune it’s a mystery, I got a devil in me





The Wheel of Fortune

B side to Good Boy

Bad Bad Boy

Doggie, doggie, ain’t I cute, your little fellow
I’ve got this urge, it happens when I’m bored
You’ve gone out clubbing, this apartment sure is lonely
Solo standing, tail wagging by that open closet door

And there they sit, lined up ready for attention
I slide my tongue up those designer heels
Oh, the fragrance of Italian patent leather
I'm a canine in the candy store with 100 scrumptious meals

Just chew and salivate
Your stilettos taste supreme
All those juicy platform wedges 
I got Guggi in my dreams
Who cares about the colour
Red or blue or black or green
I’ve been a bad, bad boy

Yummy, yummy, your pumps, they sure beat rawhide
Forbidden fruit,  it's like a caviar bone
Your smell it lingers, my snout's inside the toe box
My jaw is thrusting as I grunt and I moan

Then you walk in, home early, unexpected
Pieces of Prada lying everywhere
I hear you screaming, OMG just "F-ing drop it!”
Goodbye, my shoe, my love, I’m running under the chair

Just chew and salivate
I’ve been shaken from this scheme
If I only had more time
I’m in trouble again it seems
I’ll just flash my sad, dark eyes
Turn on my charm machine
I’ve been a bad, bad boy
Bow wow
Bow wow







 







Bad Bad Boy (demo)

My Dear,
Find what you love and let it kill you
Let it drain from you your all.
Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you, and let it devour your remains.
For all things will kill you
both slowly and fastly.
but it’s much better to be killed by a lover
falsely yours, 

Henry Charles Bukowski

Years back,I saw the above stanza on the internet...  According to Bukowski "experts" he actually  did not write this...so idk ....the author origin is a mystery....
so for this piece,
I lifted the first line but made a more positive song as I wanted the "kill" to really to be  more of a metamorphosis...a change..a salvation..a call to pursue your passion  without delay as our time left on this mortal coil  is unknown.... So keep on creating  keep on playing ...find what you love...

                            
       Find What You Love, Let It Kill You

Find what you love, let it kill you                                                            
Let it devour your senses                                                                      
Engulf and embrace your resolve    
                                                     
Find what you love, let it save you
Your sweet resurrection 
Reframe and regroup then dissolve 

Fade away but don’t fade to black                                                         
Fly to the orange, the red                                                                     
Like Icarus into the sun
Take a breath, there's no turning back 
Each moment a memory, minute
Lean on the learned ones.

Find what you love, let it kill you
Be born from the ashes
In purpose and pain comes the light 

Find what you love and let it change you
Don't be afraid of the mockers or mourners 
Who pass in the night 

Run away, but don’t run too far
Your hand on the rock
Like Sisyphus, now the moment's begun
Take a breath, it's all that you are 
You feel it growing, yearning
Live like the ancient ones.

Find what you love...Find what you love…

This could be our last stand                                                                     
American Bandstand 
The Alamo of your life
A Soundcloud crucifix                                                                             
No need to surrender                                                                        
Are you a player
Or just a pretender 
Another suspect device                                                                           
Feel the clock inside you tick 
                                                               
Find what you love, let it kill you 
Death the divider
The boatman is seeking his toll
Find what you love, let it take you
Gone solo, gone swimming
Swift currents, lose control

Walk along the edge of the knife 
Always counting, comparing your silver
There is so much more to be won
You're only floating on the surface of life
Try to dive deeper, dream away
Let the day go undone.

Find what you love...Find what you love..

Find What You Love, Let It Kill You

This little song is one part memorial tribute to Stiv Bators,front man for Dead Boys and Lords of the New Church and later solo artist ( check out his great album Disconnected )
who  tragically died in Paris June 199O from a head injury sustained in a car accident ..through the music Stiv remains forever young,  loud and snotty...
The other theme of the song pertains to  pessimistic musing about aging and mortality ...  find the easter eggs ....i incorporated 10 Dead Boys song titles in the lyrics  ....
opening sound clip... Dead Boys song  High Tension Wire 
end clip ....is a portion of Iggy Pop's message to Stiv's parents at his memorial

**** The first half of bridge are lyrics  lifted from the Rocket From the Tombs /Dead Boys classic, Sonic Reducer *****

Dead Boy Down


Ain’t It Fun when you’re feeling old                            
I hear young Stiv on the radio                                     
Happens fast, never happens slow                            
Down In Flames, there be nothing at all                      
New Church…. I see                                                      
I need to Open My Eyes to what’s in front of me      
Wrong place….wrong time                                              
Now it’s so long Steven so long                                  
Another dead boy down                                               
Another dead boy down                                                                                                                                         
Gonna take a walk on that High Tension Wire
Something gotta give when your brain’s on fire
CBGB New York City, There Ain’t Nothin’ To Do
Blitz, Zero, Chrome and Magnum, they be Calling On You
Don’t know what I want or just who I am
Lonely son of a son, here comes the Son of Sam
Right place…. Wrong time
So long, so long, so long
Another dead boy down
Another dead boy down

(6 lines below from Sonic Reducer)
You’ll be a pharaoh soon                                              
Rule from some golden tomb                                      
Things will be different then                                        
Your light will shine on them                                         
Feeling like you're ten feet tall                                      
Before we were nothing at all  
                                    
Leave the body bruised and broken                          
Leave your body bruised and broken                        
Oh…Oh….                                                                        
Be a Rocket From The Tombs                                       
A Rocket From The Tombs                                                                     

Ain’t It Fun when you’re getting old
I’m older now than Bators and my old man, you know
I used to dance but not anymore
Watch me pacing over kitchen floors
Like some Catholic Boy in a parochial school
I be Dead and Alive, All This and More little fool
At the right place, at the right time
They will put me on display ….I’ll be a dead boy down….

Dead Boy Down

some pessimistic rantings about the sorry state of the planet with help from some of the original Star Trek gang...all the clips taken from the episode City on the Edge of Forever...great episode about time travel..very well written, profound,funny and sad.....  DeForest Kelly as a delirious Dr McCoy delivers a masterclass in overacting...

You!! What Planet Is This?

Captain Kirk can't preserve our federation
You better beam him up Scotty
Politicos, polluters and corporate power players
All flash and fake and shoddy
Paranoia, planet-panic
My fear, it multiplies
Like McCoy trippin’ out on Cordrazine
A raging question plagues my mind

You! What Planet Is This?
Phasers set to stun
World come undone
One step from the abyss 
You! What Planet Is This?
From greed to gun
Real-life science fiction fun

Mr. Spock can't wave off, our project in illogic
Better beam him up Scotty
Frustrated with the intellect of all us human players 
As we destroy Earth’s mind and body
Patriotic ploys gone frantic
Terra firma fools collide
The air impure, thoughts incorrect 
Edith Keeler must die

You!  What planet is this?
Take a leap through time
Try to save mankind
From the march to the precipice
You! What Planet Is this?
Silly Star Trek song
Hope I got the ending wrong

Run Run DeForest
Run Run Doctor Run
Run through the cities 
With the maniacs and moneyed ones
Run Run Children
Run Run Children Run
You better Run
Run

You! What Planet is this?
Third from the sun
You know, the violent one
Exploding in our midst
You! What Planet is this?
Watch the lights go out
As we twist and shout








You!!!  What Planet is this?

more existential dread about the state of the world 
I need to turn off the news
I used  this fantastic sci movie from 1957 to explain things metaphorically....
wrote it this morning very quickly..it just came together

The Incredible Shrinking Man 

I once was big as them                            
Living life on a whim                                 
Then a strange thing happened              
It could happen to you                             
Take a look at the shape I’m in                 

You placed me in a doll house
Put a lock upon the door
Your miniature man 
Now on parade
Have you ever seen my kind before?

I'm down here                                       
But they don't see me                          
Guess I'll have to take a stand                   
Getting smaller                                     
As the days they run away from me      
Your incredible shrinking man               
My body, no longer at my command         

Now there's danger everywhere 
I'm prey to everything
The cat, the spider, your prejudice 
Wish I could grow some wings

Too small for the circus now
Can't trust the human show
Gonna crawl right through the window screen
Say goodbye to all I know

I'm down here
Where they can't touch me
You'll never understand
What it's like 
To live this life of fear and fright
A little guy, in a strangers’ land
The incredible shrinking man 

Break

I'm down here
Where they can't hear me
It’s not like I had this planned
Gonna take my  tiny life
Gotta try to make it right
Build a little toy town with these tiny hands
Please remember me
Your Incredible Shrinking Man 




The Incredible Shrinking Man

more melancholic piano ballads ... can't do a Cry tune like Roy O..but I give it a go with this tune of mine from a ways back


It’s Ok If You Cry

I heard a sad song                                                          
Floating in the sky from over there                             
The notes they echo in my mind                                 
Up on the rooftop  
In that cold December air   
I saw you play that tune, the hurtin’ kind                                         
And you thought no one was listening                      There’s no one around to hear                                    Feeling so alone, yet you still try                                 Standing tall, in the autumn of your life                     Singing how it’s ok if you cry                                                  

You sing the story
How you let it slip away
The years and all the ghosts you left behind
Fingers numb not bending well
Breath fogging when you sing
The words how they sear into my mind

So I stumble to the music
And fall down into the snow
Feeling so alone, lost in my lie
Trying to stand up, in the autumn of my life
Singing how it’s ok if you cry

It’s ok if you cry
Do it anytime
Don’t matter the season of your years
I need a little space tonight
I’m gonna climb up there with you
Where it’s safe to breathe and shed our tears

I grabbed a ladder 
And I climbed up for the view
Looked around to find you and your song
I was met by other voices,
Souls, whispers in the night
On their own rooftops, trying to sing along

They think there’s no one there to listen
There’s no one around to hear
Feeling so alone, but still, they try
Standing tall, in the autumn of this life
It’s ok if you cry

It’s ok if you cry
Do it anytime
Don’t matter the season of your years
I need a little space tonight
I’m gonna climb up there with you
Where it’s safe to breathe and shed some tears 




OK If You Cry

you dirty sod...you dirty bastard...you dirty f#$kr...what a f#$ng rotter...Dec 1976...The Sex Pistols brief live TV interview with  presenter Bill Grundy resulted in 30 seconds of Profanity as a very drunk Steve Jones, goaded on by a drunk and lecherous Grundy, let him have it... the encounter was headline news the next day and controversy followed .... 
here is a  link to the 90 second interview that cost Mr. Grundy his job.
https://youtu.be/boQGEyAcZwo?si=AkWVhxeDK7PJeRJ0

Now, as my angst turns to anger with the politics of today,  I borrow Mr. Jones' knack for the profane to punctuate my verse..thx Steve.
...like him I'm just an ole punk rocker in decay...

What Steve Jones Once Said

To all you two-faced
Doublespeak
Money grabbing politicians 
Noise polluting nonsense
I'll say what Steve Jones once said
#&*!@$!!!!
His voice inside my head

To all this short-stick
Tariff shit
Fascist reboot coalition
Nimby ploys and Brownshirt boys
I'll say what Steve Jones once said
&%$#@!!!
His words I have retread

This sonic stone I throw
To Pistol poke the bear
I like to speak some drunk Steve Jones
To the greed
And gob out there

To all you warmonger 
Border breakers
Bomb us to submission 
Wading through your wickedness 
I’ll say what Steve Jones once said
#$%^&!!!
All the lies I have been fed

To all you MAGA rights
And you ultra lefts
Stoking this division
Shut yer traps I'm sick of you
I'll give you some Steve Jones instead
@#%$&!!!
Now our words are wed

His curses from the past
A crude footnote in history 
I have recycled and rehashed
Bill Grundy’s moment
Of infamy

Lyrics HotR/Jones
Music HotR

What Steve Jones Once Said

This year is the 50th anniversary of the ABC Movie of the week Trilogy of Terror- It was 3 chilling adaptions of 3 short stories written by the great sci fi author Richard Matheson. The late Karen Black ( not only a wonderful actress,she was also a great singer and songwriter) starred in all 3 of the features playing 4 characters.  As 12 year old kids of course we were the most horrified and terrified by the final story Amelia - a  story about  a demonic warrior doll that comes to life and starts attacking poor Ms. Black
here is a youtube link to Amelia the third story in the Trilogy of Terror ( 24 minutes)-https://youtu.be/hjr0ziHwraw

 Starts out pretty chill but the last 10 mins of that film were very intense for us in 1975 ..we kids couldn't sleep well for a few nights .. I wrote the song as an homage to the story/movie/Ms. Black ( she didnt really like the movie) as well as using the story as  metaphor for the demons that live in us all
my electric guitar playing scared the dog as usual
hope my silly song does not scare you too much
3 short clips from Amelia are spliced in there


Karen Black And That Creepy Doll Attack

The hunter and the hunted
The virtue and the sin
Inside of every creature
Light and dark reside in them

Zuni Hunter Fetish Doll
The puppet seeks its prey
That TV movie freaking out
Us kids back in the day

Trilogy of Terror
The duality of man
Unrestrained we let our monsters roam
On which side will you stand

The camera films a gruesome tale
Shag carpet bloody scenes
Kitchen knives and voodoo jive
A f$%ked up figurine

Karen Black
And that creepy doll attack
Wish I coulda been there
To pull it off her back
Karen Black
She ain't coming back
He who kills, all screech and shrill
Has got her mind hijacked

Break

The moral meets the message
Let fight defeat the fear
Repressed regret you can't forget
Like finger pricked by spear

She can't smother, drown or stab it
Or burn it up you see
When she locked it in a suitcase
It escaped eventually 

Take the hate from your heart
And turn it on its head
Or like the Zuni wooden doll
It hunts you down instead

Stand up against the doubters
Don't doubt the space you find
Ignore those dirty demon dolls
Who scream inside your mind

Ms. Karen Black
Why does she smile like that
Her Zuni fate, she sits in wait
Her Mama will get whacked
Karen Black
Such a creepy doll attack 
Quadruple billed her acting thrilled
My half century flashback

Karen Black
Karen Black and that creepy doll attack 
Karen Black 
Karen Black and that creepy doll attack

Karen Black & that Creepy Doll Attack

another old recording that is  part cover part original
about my 90s fascination with Hope Sandoval and Mazzy Star...

When I was a boy I struggled with sin    
Faith, Hope and lust, where do I begin   
A monster awakened, electricity            
MTV Mazzy Star, my Mary Shelley 
         
Look at her singing, this angel, my crush  
Head tilting, eye shifting, my brain turns to mush 
Raven haired beauty, so soft, shy and stiff 
Haunting my head, sweet sound from her lips 
 
She sang Fade Into You          
Strange that you never knew   
Fade Into You                             
Me she never knew                   

When I was a boy I struggled to play 
To find the right words, thoughts got in the way 
I was building momentum, just biding my time 
Found hope and erupted, I'm sure it's a sign

Look at her dreaming, I can't see her hands
White dress and black boots, they don't understand 
That what she is holding, It's a message from me 
I've sent it to her, right through the TV

Fade Into You                             
Strange that you never knew  
Fade Into You                             
Me she never knew                  

Dr. Frankenstein I presume
 Sad creature from the Black Lagoon 
Like Lon Chaney howling at the moon
No one understands

Little waif  her mystery
Spins a spell to transform me
Kinda awkward no apologies
The stranger takes a stand

So write up that novel, Hold the Hand inside me
Creature, Creator, our narrative freed
This life lived in shadow, come apart and go black
Can you put it together? Why you singing like that?

Fade Into You                             
Strange that you never knew   
Fade Into You                             
Me You never knew                    
Yeah me she never knew 
Me she never knew

Lyrics HotR/Sandoval/Roback 
Music HotR



Fade Into You ...or...The Magical Tale of How Hope Sandoval Turned The Rock Into A Piece of Putty

Howdy,

Welcome to TBD.

All these creations are made by hard work and years upon years upon years of practice and trying to explain this world and the human condition to myself in the process through poems & songs.

Thanks for all of your wonderful support.

Peace and Love to Everyone,

🫛



What playing music does to your brain🔽

https://youtu.be/R0JKCYZ8hng?si=KJt33NWjUo63ieAm



A nice David Bowie Interview🔽

https://youtu.be/JRtZc_Nmo5w?si=1g1Wag87NdEumAc4


Hand on the Rock Selection

The Beautiful Dark