I hope 
it’s not insensitive
to want to be done with this
it has me by my throat
I really oughta go
but I’m drawn
to the middle of
the superstition so
bleed the circle closed

make it address me by a name
that I wouldn’t give myself

it pulses because it loves us
bear witness to it
full-throated spirit
it pulses because it loves us
this is the end of the time
of our lives

it was fine, it was fine
the door darkened briefly
I was wondering if you would notice it
there was time, so much time
extending past the limits of our sight
the stone melts while we admire it
and what better way to
end unpleasant days
than to pull the curtain back and show you
how little remains to be seen?

It Pulses Because It Loves Us

restless enough to rattle my bones apart
the blast radius of collapsing potential 
drawn out of sequence and then put together as art
a fragment of a fragment that you can hold onto

but don’t expect my sympathy
to run dry where it should
you’ll never run aground
that devil in the distance
could use some defending

scrawled into my ribs
was a message
I never did decipher it
don’t ask me what it means
i’m still processing
i’m a vintage machine

sunlight-sent signal to body to waken up
finger along the edge of my mug with my coffee
passed through a paper to filter the solid parts out
and then thrown in the compost to rot with the other mornings

but don’t expect my energy
to maintain where it should
my eyes are heavy now
the dreams I have mentioned 
could use my attention

printed on my skull
were instructions
I never did decipher them
don’t ask me what it means
i’m still processing
i’m a vintage machine

vintage machine

I made a name
In the intervening years
Took care of some things
And started to forget
The songs that I wrote
I must have stood by cause
I scrawled them in my blood 
And we’re still catching up
And the size of my heart
That is caught in my throat
Didn’t shrink like i thought it would 

Kerosene keeps me warm

Kerosene keeps me warm
I’ll burn until it’s gone
The years cascade I’m overfull
The runoff is lapping at your door
Eulogized and atomized you
For the sake of song
Kerosene keeps me warm
I think I’ll hold out  until the storm is gone
Then i’ll be out for more

You should see what I am writing about now

The endless thrum
Has just begun
In the mountains
That i met you in

The walls closing in
Are a part of my skin
It’s been a while since i
Embarked into the wilderness  

I was Bitter i thought
For a justified cause
Because  taste in my mouth
Never sweetened enough
And the shift in perspective
That i thought wouldn’t come
Didn’t hurt like i thought it would


 

Kerosene keeps me warm
I’ll burn until it’s gone
The scars are healed a decade in
I couldn’t see the future then
An eternity of knowing me
Feels just a little long
Kerosene keeps me warm
And to burn it all down
By this point feels wrong

Kerosene Pt. 4

Join in!
Revelation now
Hierophant in tow
I offer up a sacrifice
Of all the words I know
You know the truth is it only feels
Like knowledge gets revealed
Keep it secret they still think 
We’re more than animals.

I am different than I have been
You shouldn’t treat my presence lightly
There are

Beasts
Waiting for me
I clean between their teeth
We preserve a legacy
None of us will live to see
Beasts
Waiting for me
I clean between their teeth
You can feign your agency
But I dare you to move your feet.

I’ve got a 
Favored set of facts
I am stocking up
Take a few if you 
Aren't convinced enough
You know the wait was long but
I’m a patient man
I carved the days into your palm you can
Feel the grooves to keep in touch
They’re in the throng 

Did you pick this place on purpose?
Did you think that I deserve this?
There are

Beasts
Waiting for me
I clean between their teeth
We preserve a legacy
None of us will live to see
Beasts
Waiting for me
I clean between their teeth
You can feign your agency
But I dare you to move your feet.

There’s so little that we can do
So I dare you to do
Anything.

Hierophant

I was penitent
Ignorant
Digging up through the trenches
Buying time for cheap
And wholly devouring it

I was savoring
The water squeezed
From the wood that was
Encasing me 
Pulling at shackles
Hoping they would bend
Until

I’m free (the terror never lessens)
I’m free (it’s a shame, it’s not your shame)
I’m free (once I pick your bones clean)
I’m free (everyone starts moving)
Everyone starts moving

It was violent
Unthinking force
A tragedy that has been rehearsed
There is so little to resort to
When it comes time to resort

It was shelter from the rain at first
It was the stone that keeps my innards cold
Dismembered into parts
Cartilage, hope, meat, sinew, and bone

I’m free (the terror never lessens)
I’m free (it’s a shame, it’s not your shame)
I’m free (once I pick your bones clean)
I’m free (everyone starts moving)
Everyone starts moving

Everyone Starts Moving

I became fragile today
In ways I didn’t know I needed to be worried about
My body is letting its secrets out
It comes in waves
I don’t know when each one will hit
Or when I’ll go under with it
The waiting is worse than holding my breath

Fixate
On relief
The ritual
Is complete 

I hid too long
I never thought that it would get done
I saw the distance in the storm
I knew it would rain but I
Never did anything wrong did I?
My ideas
I found some paper to put them in
I’m getting over this 
Indelible twinge
Drifting out to sea
Must feel excellent 

I broke open today
In ways that I didn’t know to be careful about
My ribcage is letting my spirit out
 Once considered
A master of my whole domain
I slump to the side in order to stabilize
I favor convenience now

 Restate
Aphorisms
 Meticulous
Vision
 
I put it off
I thought eventually the work was done
I saw the atoms at the source
I knew they’d decay but
I never did anything wrong did I
My ideas
You should proceed with caution from here
I’m getting over this
Indelible twinge
Drifting out to sea
Must feel excellent

I don’t ever wanna feel bad again

I Never Did Anything Wrong

What took me so long?
Haven’t I been strong?

I’d like to think I have found my way,
But doubt still haunts me every day.


You call it fate, I call it luck,
A fleeting spark we try to pluck.

We all admire the ones who rise,
Or am I blinded by my own disguise?


What should I have done before?
What should I change to open the door?
Yet maybe I should not rewind,
    
But chase the dreams I have in mind.

It Pulses Because It Loves Us

GUIDE DOG