First Rap Battle that earns 4.99$ (Got it?)

Trapped out of the rest of the world, these two powerful blue entities find an escape to reflect and duke it out in this episode of Quizzical Quarrels!

Snakebite126 as Jevil
JesseBoxVO as Lapis
garbageGothic as Peridot

Written by Quizzique

Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Beat prod. by Anywaywell
Arrangement and additional instrumentation by Quizzique

Art by 3ple
Thumbnail by Quizzique

LYRICS:
 
Jevil:
Welcome, welcome, boisengirls, to this Crystal Gem’s poisoned world
You’ve unlocked the door, so now prepare to see chaos unfurled!
Round and round the carousel goes, you circle back to the barn you hang
You leave and come right back so often, I’d think you’d ran on Boomerang

Fusion’s leaving you out of sorts, dealing with trauma since the divorce
So in your spare time, you now resort to mighty morphin’ some meaty morps
Not like me, of course, I’m thriving in my little freedom, something you were never shown
So you fought with those that kept you trapped in a mirror, then redeemed in a singular episode

It’s sad, sad that you’re looking so blue, your show’s run off the air like you’re back on the moon
I’m glad, glad your runtime got the boot, call you the farm when you’re torn from the roots
I’m mad, mad, you’re breaking my heart, you and Peri look like Homeworld: broken apart
You have, have a chance to restart, so perhaps for this battle, try not to depart


Lapis Lazuli:
So, this depressed jester from the Dark World thinks he dealt a verse?
Ask the giant tyrants I’ve defied, they’ll tell you I’ve felt worse
I helmed this cursed mirror within my gem’s grasp for thousands of years
So reflect on your defect of a story, I sure won’t drown in tears

You think I’m frightened of your suit attacks? I’m known to hit diamonds when up to the bat
I’d tear up this hack if he goes to a beach, they’re calling me Bob ‘cause I float on the beat

Peridot:
You should know to retreat when confronting the B team!

Lapis:
Even she can’t compare to the nonsense you’re speaking

Peridot:
Hey! Our bond is complex, that’s a smart thing to say

Lapis:
But at least my best friend didn’t lock me away!
You have claims of metamorphosis but no development to show

Peridot:
Lapis! Tell ‘em what you said when I asked if you even saw this secret boss! 

Lapis:
…No
Winning’s not within your cards, The FUN Gang made your levels fail
Won’t take the Garnet’s future vision to see the end of Jevilstail


Jevil:
Oh what fun, what fun! More games to play, with a new participant!
I hoped for a dating game, but I guess Ruby flew off with that ship!
Uee hee hee! You’ve got me like the Joker; in a laughing fit!
Yet I’m Revving up on this track so you can call me the Harlequin!

You can’t join my world! You seem more like Lars, how you cower away with your Clustered fears
You kids seeing stars? All your pleads and cries would put me to sleep for a hundred years!
Now, I won’t be the first jester to hit your series with an interjection
Want more screen time for your Future? Then return to your reflection


Lapis:
How does this thing work again?

Peridot:
Just press the button on the cartridge

Lapis:
Right, uhh…for the last time…I don’t. Want. Your garbage.
You think you saddened me? I felt more torn up by Camp Pining Hearts
I’d split you in two, but seems your mind and heart already declined apart

A numbers game? That plan’s dumb and lame. I can terraform worlds, don’t uphold your fight
You’ll lose those bids, and you call us kids?

Peridot:
You do know we’re centuries older, right?

Lapis:
This card shark’s under my control, and all his tricks are unregarded

Peridot:
Hey, and isn’t it ironic?

Lapis:
Yep, the joker got discarded

Lapis Lazuli vs Jevil - QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #8 (ft. Snakebite126, JesseBoxVO & garbageGothic)

Nighteye : RaccoonBroVA
King Kai : MetaMachine

Written by Kamren.
Beat Prod. : MTC Beatz
Mixed by Kamren

Nighteye :
Mirio, if you're trying to amuse me, forget it 
'Cuz I refuse to laugh from Roshi's sloppy seconds
You're slow as a turtle when getting to the punchline
I'll blitz through like Piccolo, you're wasting my time
My students smile for a brighter future
For generations to come at the cost of my life 
Yours doesn't know a thing about humor
'Cept he went home to his wife while you wait for the revive
I'll predict all the shit you'll say and switch it around
Can't say if I got jumped when the Ginyus Forced in your house
You won't get my stamp of approval 
So come take the pen from me and tell me how you've been crucial

King Kai :
That verse was a joke? You're gonna have to be more clever
Not one single chuckle, even Yamcha's done better 
And I don't mean the monkey when you're playing Bubbles dirty
But you're gonna get chased with that machine so... quirky
Now that's how to do a pun!
Though my antennas couldn't find for me to give a puck
Dude you’re a lousy schmuck, and what's worse, bud?
Got that foresight for luck, and still got a hole in your gut

Nighteye :
Don't you dare mock me for the sacrifice I made
Goku flocked to escape when got played by Cell's game
Makes sense why you're blue faced, choked when you catch fades
A God of Destruction the way you're scared, I'm wide awake!
Midoriya can't press me, what made you think you could?
Didn't need a spirit bomb, one verse was all it took
To send the North Kai south, and with that you're out
Not just a trash talking half pint, you're that and a clown

King Kai :
Don't even have the weights on but I'm dragging you downright 
Might as well call up.. oh wait! Sorry, the clock's hands' tied
You couldn’t walk a mile in my shoes, let alone Snake Way
A second rate Aizawa that Horikoshi left erased!
The future's set in stone? Let's take a look at your third year
All that kid end up doing was showing off his rear
He lost his quirk.. then got it back? Ironically tragic
Your final moment blew up in your face worse than Planet Namek
Have Eri rewind this battle cuz I'm twisting your film reel
Since you're more full of yourself than Goku eating a meal
But hey, thanks for the fun! I'm sure we'll meet again
When you arrive on my planet with a halo above your head


Sir Nighteye vs King Kai - My Hero Academia vs Anything! #11 (ft. RaccoonBroVA and MetaMachine)

kinger the amazing digital circus vs sarah needlemouse exe rap battle anolog vs anything.

Kinger vs. Needlemouse // Analog vs. Anything.

Cri as Kinger

Hailey as Needlemouse (Sarah)

Cameos by Clarence and Hailey

Written and Produced by Teimunity 

Mixed and Mastered by Danii

Art by A Trash Artist and EpicMonkey

Graphic Design by JustADude
 
LYRICS: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16UQrnK9FOf0a4FMEuSOGaNoLlGwlLoP7al3U2Nt7LQM/edit

Kinger vs. Needlemouse • Analog vs. Anything.

VIDEO: [COMING SOON]

Phone Guy: MidgeCat
Samara Morgan: Fightmarker

Written By: MidgeCat, 
(With thanks to: Cri, Eric the Audible)

Mixed By: MidgeCat
Beats By: Anabolic & ILL Fortune

LYRICS:

Phone Guy:
Uhhh, hello, hello? Uh, yeah I’ve called to spit facts
Uhh, the homeless shelter rang, they want their crazy bitch back?
Skip me with your shit rap! I know your lazy scripts drag
The only mask I’m wearing if you show up is a bin bag

Uh let’s see, there’s an introductory that’s from the company
Concerning your safety, but honestly that’s just not up to me
And blah blah blah, let me cut the bull and preface this
We’re used to seeing children getting [REDACTED] on the premises

I’m sorry to be flipping my advice all of a sudden
But the only way for you to survive’s not to push my buttons
There’s a hella ton more grease in your hair than our pizzas, holy hell
God, I wish they threw some shampoo down your hole as well

I make one easy dial, uhhh, then I bounce a cheque
But they call me Phone Guy ‘cus I’m ‘bout to fucking ring a neck
Oh and, hey, I watched your films and honestly couldn’t guess
Why they put you through the white wash but, uh, not your dress?

Samara:
Tell Cawthon can it with the spinoffs, bro chill
People can’t buy all your sequels with you racking up their phone bill
That verse couldn’t be worse with this Living Tombstone singing it
The only way to save this track? …. Put a Ring in it!

Your exposition’s convoluted like your phone line’s tied
All that universal knowledge and yet still you somehow died
Now how you gon survive seven days my guy
When this incompetent bastard couldn’t even last five nights

In this battle, like your job, you’re just the living bait
There’s no revival from this slaughter, meet your imminent fate
Because there comes a mortal cost if you’re caught playing my tape
And that’s not a price you can afford on minimum wage

Phone Guy:
I’ve felt bad for your restless spirit ever since you fell
So I’ll flip in a faztoken, just know, kid, I wish you well
Man, I’ve heard some messed up stories. But this is something new
Became a creepy ghost because your dad would never Ringu

Samara:
You called up being friendly to offer players solutions
‘Til Freddy came in and turned exposition to execution
Most putrid thing in your restaurant became this rotting trendsetter
So just hang up the phone, ‘cus being dead suits you better

Phone Guy Vs Samara Morgan | Midge's Rap Battles S2

Lyrics / Beat: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16GyzZGdS2BaXdMOn7p359tPkkfeRSr5u4io537Tq4JQ/edit
ThatAdorableFox as Mina Liao
Lee Bergantino as Chihiro Fujisaki
Written by Legengo
Additional writing by MetaMachine and Matt Raichous
Thumbnail and Mixed by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Diamond Style
Hint for next time: "Shifty Salesmen" (maybe) (hopefully.)

Mina Liao vs. Chihiro Fujisaki - Overwatch vs. Anything #2

Writing by: TomPuffs

Additional help by: CyanCoat, Egomanic, MidgeCat, Grasman, 

Art by: TomPuffs

MidgeCat as: Spamton G. Spamton

Grasman as: Saul Goodman

Mixing by: Trakked

Beat: Mad Hatter 2 by Tone Jonez

Thumbnail by: TomPuffs

Special Thanks to: Ethan, 3ple, Elizakin, Nooby, ItsNugget, Teimunity, Egomanic, TheMonarchy, Dilly, Quizzique, Korekitten, Azia, TheyCallMeCri, JesseBoxVO, Colethecole, Alex M, RNG, M&Mattie, Littleflecks, and CornCob7178.

Spamton G Spamton:

HE-HEY EVERYB0DY, IT’S [Spamton G. Spamton]!
SEEMS LIKE TH1S [Slimeball] WAS LEFT ALL ABANDONED
BY H1S [Loved ones], HE LEFT EVERYBODY M1SERABLE
[Don’t believe what you see on TV! This man is a criminal!]

SPEAKING OF TV, L00KS L1KE ALL I SEE,
ARE COMMERCIALS THAT AREN’T EVEN [High-Definition Quality]!
THE GREEN’S [Leaking through] AND I DON’T MEAN [Record Profits]
LEAVE U GREY WHEN I PUT S0ME [Bars] BEHIND THIS [Convict]

U L0ST C0NTR0L OF UR L1FE, THERE’S [Nothing] THAT CAN HELP U
CONSTANTLY SL1PP1N’ BY LIKE THE [Scammers!] DADDY LET THRU
EX1T PREMATURELY: THAT’S MY VERY [Specil Offer]!
I’M THE P0STMAN, UR N0T EVEN [Kevin Costner?]

Saul Goodman:

Hi, I’m Saul Goodman! Your disses need work,
But that’s about what I expected from a dwarf gone berserk.
You talk about passing bars? I don’t think you could pass this.
You had one bit of fame, and then it all came down crashing!

If you got a deal to make, bud, I think you’re out of luck.
Don’t need a vacuum repair card when you already suck!
Products are literal trash, but I wanna know how,
The Jigsaw Puppet ended up bunkin’ with Oscar the Grouch!

Er-you’re just a has-been, constantly causin’ a racket,
Even with how you talk, you can’t face me on a bracket!
You’re incomprehensible, it leaves me appalled,
But if you need someone to talk for you: BETTER CALL SAUL!

Spamton G Spamton:

UR [Slippin’, Jimmy]! IT SEEMS U HAD NOTHING TO SAY
UR TAKING THE P1SS LIKE IT’S [Davis and Main]
WELL SCREW YOU [Albuquerque!] I SP1T COLD L1KE A TH0RN RING!
MAKE A SN0WGRAVE S0 NO ONE IS LEFT [Mourning]

Saul Goodman:

Now that’s what the kids would call an epic fail!
I thought you’d be a lightner, you look deathly pale.
You’re just the email guy, I’ll make like a hyperlink: block it!
Your customers are the same as your stocks: dropping!

Spamton G Spamton:

I’M T1RED MCGILL, UR LEAVING ME PISSED OFF!
I’D G0 TO UR [Hochi Mama!] SH0W HER I’M A [Big Shot!]
PRETEND U FELT [Nothing], BUT U C0ULDN’T [Come to terms]
THAT UR BROTHER WENT OUT LIKE [Oh, help me! It burns!]

[Top-rated salesman] S0 U KN0W I’M THE BEST!
DO U [Wish to contest?] THEN U CAN [Die like the rest]
N0W [Watch me fly, Mama!] [Best rapper since ‘97!]
[Take a vacation straight to hell] AS I GAZE INT0 [Heaven]

Saul Goodman:

Objection, your honour. I have to confess to a crime:
That I’m about to cut the strings when I’m killing the mic
Making death threats that you couldn’t follow through? PLEASE!
My crew could send you on an acid trip, straight to Belize!

You had nothing to live for until you met Kris!
Yeah, you could load a disk, but you can’t load a diss!
You were once a big shot, but now you’re left all alone!
The win is ringing, but I’m the one who’ll pick up the phone

Spamton G. Spamton vs Saul Goodman - TomPuffs Tussles (#1)

THE RAP RING!

Happy Spring Solstice for those who celebrate! To commemorate the day where winter turns to spring, we’re pitting against each other two youthful, season-inspired characters whose levels MIGHT give you some trouble if you’re not prepared: the plucky, cold-loving Baby Penguin from Super Mario 64, and Whitney, the flower-obsessed Leader of Goldenrod Gym in Pokemon GSC!  Who will win? Well, one thing I know is… if either one starts crying, we ALL lose… or if you fall off the mountain... or if Miltank starts stacking up Rollouts...

CAST:
Thanosquack as Baby Penguin
https://www.youtube.com/@thanosquack6974 

Tibbie as Whitney
https://www.youtube.com/@BozoTibz 

Beat by LEEX:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_SnhqRQpss&pp=ygUSbGV2ZWwgdXAga3BvcCBiZWF0

Mix by Trakked:
https://soundcloud.com/user-40350977

Thumbnail composition by Ryufan76
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYlm1k8GpfpyNuKm_KarxjA

Penguin art on thumbnail by A Trash Artist
https://www.youtube.com/@atrashartist695


Lyric Doc:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ybqoxWplJTMDt3MjqTqeoSFMDVWJa4FmmXWUVKDMjX0/edit?usp=sharing



Special thanks to AlchemyKing, MC Fawful, Rosenthal, and GarbageGothic

Lil Penguin Lost vs Whitney- RAP BATTLE! (Prod. Aleex)

Lyrics / Beat / Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1h6OcvFVeWh4NNBTc3uFJIyWyT9eOeyG59r7QRNtI2TI/edit?usp=sharing
Quizzique as Redd
Mancha as Spamton
Written by MetaMachine and GamingPlush64
Mixing by ENNWAY
Thumbnail by JK03
Beat by 2Deep
Hint for next battle: "Absented minded knuckleheads"

Spamton vs. Redd

Rosenthal as Bat-Cow

Cri as Spider-Rex

Korekitten as Norrannosaurman 

Beat by Whodunit
Mixed by Rayyan
Special thanks to Raisu, Dilly, M!Cah, and CornCob

Bat-Cow:
Moo. Who is this?
The flopped character turned into a one time bit?
Now being mopped by bat-cow is what you’re left with
Well that..and dinosaur depression..? 

I went from being saved to saving the day
No, hazards don’t scare me, so get out the way
Too cocky and one snap then crash; left some innocents killed
The stunt left the orphan runt with survivors guilt 

Spider man has a fandom so prehistoric
You might as well battle them for a real venomsaurus
Dinosaurs and they’re completely fine 
Fat representation and that’s where they draw the line (erm..)

Like madame web, I feel inclined to leave 
But there’s like, criminals after me..
Because I actually do some things 
And not cry and whine over my casualties

Spider-Rex:
Shut up. This is barely a match.
You’re not tough. You’re just really fat
You stand around, to me you’re just a mouse
It's not just a slaughter, I'm the whole damn house! 

I improved, yeah, got over my guilt 
You sold no issues and still got milked
You’re meant to be a obstacle in the path 
Who's the runt now when I step over that? (Ha)

You’re just trash, not the best when trapped behind a fence 
So repent, a king destroys a lousy pet
So dense, how can you be such a let down 
From being watched by Batman to blending into the background 

Watch ya blackout when your face meets my tail
And you fail, cuz your horns can’t harm my scales
Doesn’t scale in comparison. When faced with hostility 
He trembles realizing he has zero abilities 

Bat-Cow:
Yeah he’s right. I’m too scared to hit him.
He’s not scary, I just don’t wanna hurt the mascot of autism
Now your backstory I don’t know what to say 
Besides I feel like I’m reading the oc remake of freaky Friday 

All you spider variations are worthless in the running
[pause] At least Spider-pig is actually funny 
When a second meteor crashes from the sky above
You’ll be as burnt out as your parents trust

Spider-Rex:
You’re cooked, kid. That verse wasn’t well done 
Made your own justice league but remained the useless one 
I didn’t run, I faced a gang alone.
So, how is the cow a chicken to the bone 

DC made you for the money, they were sure it would work 
Cash cow failed so bad you got butchered 
Now you’re luckily you haven’t met the terrible fate
Of being devoured by me! I’m watching my weight

Norrannosaurman:
Ha! No you aren’t, fatass.

Spider-Rex:
Come on man

Bat-Cow vs. Spider-Rex - Awesome Rap Battles.

KingSpirals as Hat Kid
Seerofwords as Beatrix Lebeau
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat: Cookies by Domboi Beats
Writing and Art by EatMoPizza

Lyrics:

Hat Kid:

Let’s take it from the top, Hat Kid’s dropping on the scene
No Peace and Tranquility, show you why I’m rated T for teen
Downed the Mafia, Nyakuza, so I’m sure to reduce a
Bumpkin in a bootleg Poltergust to a crime scene, gruesome!

(Pause) ...Boop!

What the peck is this connection? We both landed on a planet,
Unfamiliar, explored a bit, but the difference, I got stranded
Found my fuel to make it home, you left for one built like a dome
Ironic, desert your friend for a desert, now it’s where you roam!

I made tons on my adventure, you're all alone like Vanessa
But her place looks less decrepit, maybe clean up your mess, huh?
After all you fill the bank by cleaning up your blobs’ droppings
But you can’t get the gold by stinking up the bars you’re dropping

Beatrix:

Listen here, Kiddo, I’m not here to clean up that mess
I’m a grownup, I work for hours to earn some fat checks
Strapped with a vacpack, sure, for me combat’s not the norm
But grip your umbrella tight, because I’m bringing a storm!

10 of 10 on Steam, going from PC to the big screen
Got tabbies, tangles, hunters, I can catch a pest like honey
I’m the Stardew of the Stars, you just took nostalgia, and ran with it
Got no place stepping to me, you signed yourself up for banishment

Came from Monomi Park, I’m up from morning to dark
On your journey, made some stories, but no meaningful arcs
The difference of my treks to your shipwrecks isn’t hard to see
So call this the second time you’re overshadowed by Odyssey

Hat Kid: 

No surprise this worker Bea would drone on her whole verse
Between Snatcher, the Directors, and Empress, I’ve felt worse
Mustache Girl’s lip service was better, you are ALL bad lines
I’m heating flows like Mafia Town, toxic like Rad Slimes

Say you’re on that grind, but your efforts ain’t beyond doubt
I’m swimming in green, you fall in the sea, you get knocked out
Bea, all your time’s spent for a corporation’s benefit 
A cog to Seven-Zee, I ate up this Gear for Breakfast!

Beatrix:

Me and Casey found what we need, you left Mustache Girl on her back
Bit off more than you could chew, but I can make a splash
Sure, both our games found players, and our names are staying known,
But you can’t take pride in your fans when they go mod out your own

Use that camera badge, get the picture, got no chance, Kid
Like you’re tripping on the SS Literally Can’t Spit
Any plort makes better material than the yarn you’ve spun
You were never a player in this game, Le-Bow is number one!

A Hat in Time vs Slime Rancher - Verses Mode (ft. KingSpirals and Seerofwords)

APRIL FOOL’S! I don’t know what you thought you were going to see from me today, but come on- a battle between two undercover investigators posing as secretaries to uncover a corruption ring and return their company to some semblance of a reputation? It’s almost EXACTLY like FRB! …I’ll let you decide what that means. Anyhow, in today’s verbal fisticuffs, the characters being pitted together are:

Jolene, the quick-moving, cold-eyed bombshell Toad from the Glitz Pit, who’s dedicated all of her energy to finding her missing brother and reinstate him as the champion of the world-class fighting ring… 

And Roz, Monsters Inc.’s infamously mean-spirited secretary, who’s really an agent from the Child Detection Agency sent undercover to bring to light a corruption ring involving the Inc.’s famous door system! 

CAST:

garbageGothic as Jolene (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)
https://www.youtube.com/@garbageGothic

Red Rob as Roz (Monsters, Inc.)
https://www.youtube.com/@RedRobOfficial

Beat by Leo Barqui 
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEZDXmtZBL4O1B2rEzxRvGA

Mix by MVDNVGHT 
https://www.youtube.com/@TheeMvdnvght

TN by Ryufan76
www.youtube.com/channel/UCYlm1k8GpfpyNuKm_KarxjA

Lyrics:
Jolene:
A new contestant? No, that can’t be
If you got in front of a crowd, they’d cause a stampede
Everyone would stand, flee, even the champ would back up in horror when
You’ve only Rose out of your chair to be replaced by family
Let’s go over the facts: even though you’re attached
To a notorious agency for the loneliest tasks
When they send Double-Oh-One to detect a child first
You couldn’t show a gun, but this slug should be fired
I’m undercover, looking to find my brother
Your guise should be your daily routine: closing the shutters
I’ve handled some complexity from the fighters I care for
But nothing beats the useless maze that sits behind your Scare Floor
The same task you fumbled for three years
Any Toad worth his salt could solo your team clear
Your position’s a front, and your worst side too
Get out of my office, I won’t bother registering you

Roz:
Is somebody planning a fun evening?
I can let your manager know when you’re done stealing
Cause with a track record like yours, your invasion’s the worst
Since the child’s, but now I notice: you never did your paperwork
How can I tell? Once your brother returned home, you
Forgot to mention all the profiles erased
And once you brought the Pit’s reputation back to the first dome
The Great Gonzales had a second climb to make
Always watching, waiting for a mistake to slip
I’ll slide this failed detective under a paper clip
To file her away and save space, give that ahoge a snip
Or send her straight to the shredders, pull the shaving trick
Keep on twittering, and X will be Mush
Will I send her and her story straight to Goomfrey? I know you hate rubbish
Why not hide in the bathroom so no one knows where you’ve gone to?
You’ll find me there anyways- your silence speaks volumes (Aaahhhh-haa-haa)

Jolene:
Ew… foul, you’re just like Grubba
But now I’ll shake the stage: Mike’s hands won’t be all that’s crushed up
To start, Tattle and find the endpoint of our battle
She won’t make the list, she’s less respected than Hardscrabble
Appearing everywhere but can’t do a thing to help
You should buy a snow-cone and wait for it to melt
If it’s Laughter we’re After, you’ve brought none
So make like your new series should, and be all done

Roz:
This juice addict couldn’t live through Waternoose’s planning
I know the truth saddens you, but a clue you haven’t
Give that magazine back, no wrestler would want you
My uniform’s got less flaws than your costume
Take advantage of every Bandy with your challenge
My movie in full happened much faster than your chapter
Your only Gold Star was found, faked and now taken
And now somebody should investigate for foul play again

Spamton G. Spamton vs Saul Goodman - TomPuffs Tussles (#1)

TomPuffs

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