Freedom from Attachment: Living Fulfilled, Happy and in Love

Those of us with insecure attachment issues are very protective of our beliefs and patterns. We may not THINK we are, and that we’re at the mercy of what’s happening outside of us, but that’s not true. It’s a choice to keep our walls up and remain in a protective state. In this state we remain attached to painful situations because it’s our comfort zone.
 
When things happen beyond our control, it can make us want to go over the edge. Parts of us may want to change and live a different life, but we don’t move in that direction because fear and anxiety overtake us. When you focus on what’s “wrong” (from your perspective) and think it’s something you can’t handle, you can bet you’re facing control issues. It’s all about trying to protect yourself from being hurt, disappointed, abandoned, exposed, etc. But the danger isn’t outside of you; it’s all happening internally.
 
You protect the struggle because it’s what you know. You’ve done it since childhood, whenever something painful happened. Speaking your truth and sharing these struggles with someone else can be hugely challenging, but it is how you start to remove your protective armor… which then leads to a more connected, fulfilled and happy life.

Journey Of Attachment: Protecting Ourselves

With insecure attachment, there is a great deal of drama and struggle, which can actually be addicting. We use this addiction as a distraction to avoid ourselves and our feelings. What’s a common example of drama? The push-pull effect of bringing someone close and then pushing them away. We place demands on others to behave how we think they should, and when they don’t, we tell ourselves it’s ok to run. It’s a pattern, and we become addicted to it because we know what to expect; it’s safe and predictable. Only… we don’t realize it’s a drama addiction because there is always hope that THIS time it will be different. It never is.
 
In an orchestrated drama, we may create distance as a means to intensely crave the other person. Everything becomes urgent, like a drug-induced fantasy of how we want things to be. Can you step outside yourself and see this dynamic at play in your current (or past) relationships? What are you doing to create tension? How are you making yourself “good” and them “bad”? It’s like a soap opera, and the addiction keeps you stuck beyond what you believe you can handle. Continue, and you will realize your biggest fears coming true. To stop the cycle, you have to notice the pattern and take responsibility for your part. You have to face what you’re avoiding, and your desire for something meaningful and fulfilling has to be stronger than your addiction to the drama.

Journey Of Attachment: Addicted To Drama

How often do you ignore red flags? Most of us believe they are outside of us, but they actually represent something we are having a visceral reaction to; something painful inside. You know, that person in front of you who reminds you of so many negative situations from your past. They dominate our choices and the lessons we need to learn about ourselves. We have plenty of excuses for turning a blind eye, especially when we keep attracting people where we recreate the same situations over and over. With insecure attachment, you may feel powerless and either ignore the signs or justify them as being ok. It comes from a scarcity mindset: this is all there is so you better make it work. You hope the warnings are wrong, and keep trying to make something beautiful out of something painful. 

These signs may be outside of you, but you can’t start to understand them until you look inside because it’s NOT about other people. It’s about how you allow these cautionary relationships to rule your life. What are you REALLY trying to avoid and/or fix? Many people with attachment issues are trying to avoid intimacy and being close to someone consistently. When you justify the dysfunctional fairy tale and try to fix the other person’s perceived “problems,” it’s time to recognize you’ve got red flag blinders on!

The only way out is to deal with your feelings. Sit down and get clear on the red flags. What is it triggering in you? If you’re not sure what to look for, I’ll give you clues. Does he/she say one thing and do another? Where do you do that in your own life? Does he/she deflect questions? Where do you avoid giving a straight answer?  Look for the tightness in your body as you go through them, acknowledging them. Red flags are there for a reason. Start paying attention and bring the journey inward.

Journey Of Attachment: Red Flags

I used to put so much effort into past relationships because I realized I never felt good enough… or deserving… or having much value. I thought by “doing enough” I could “be enough,” so the effort and the struggle continued for years. I did not recognize that mentally trying to come up with solutions to my perceived shortcomings was keeping me stuck in a merry-go round of pain as an adult. I was thinking about this recently as I was walking and wondered, “Wow, did I EVER feel good enough?”

This belief stemmed from not feeling accepted as a child (something I recognized in hindsight), which pushed me to mentally be somebody else… somebody who I thought would be accepted and deserving of love and attention. I met the demands of others instead of doing what I felt inside. It took considerable effort to be someone else, which carried over into my adult relationships. I thought that’s what I had to do to be accepted; it was my pattern. So I ended up in relationships where I got little to no attention, took on all the burdens, played the martyr and the victim, because that’s what I knew. I would then put forth a lot of effort, which of course got me nowhere, resulting in me beating myself up for not doing enough. I lived in a constant state of self-punishment and need for validation. See how easily this cycle perpetuates itself?   

When you have an internal feeling of lack, there’s an urge to overcompensate. You feel you need to do, do, do instead of just be. And unless you recognize this comes from something inside you, you will continue attracting partners who don’t give you what you need, making you feel like you have to work for their love, then feeling like a failure when it doesn’t work. It’s time you look inside yourself to identify the old beliefs that are running the show so you don’t pass up someone who requires nothing more of you than simply being… you.

Journey Of Attachment: Not Being Good Enough

Feeling your feelings matters if you are interested in a truly fulfilling life and general sense of wellbeing. It’s hard to do because our patterns of thought attempt to “save us” from our emotions. We become overwhelmed by them, which is why we tend to avoid or compartmentalize, keeping our emotions at a distance. Many of us learned this in childhood. When we felt hurt, sad, lonely or unloved, we didn’t want that pain, so we disconnected. And that pattern carried over to adulthood where it has kept us stuck in fantasyland. It’s safer to believe an unrealistic or ideal story than to pay attention to how we actually feel about reality.
 
We live in fear of our feelings, keeping us stuck and unable to move forth. If we fear a situation will bring us pain, we avoid it. This leads to anxiety and discomfort… which just creates MORE feelings of unease. It really behooves you to feel what is there so you can unpack the pain-filled closet and let it go. When you stop resisting your emotions and let them out, it’s like releasing a pressure valve; each time you do it you release a little more pain. If you don’t, it will undermine all of your attempts at a positive sense of wellbeing.
 
Learn how to break the pattern of avoidance and change this dynamic with yourself. If you’re in a painful relationship, or can’t get over a past one, the only way out of the quagmire of negative emotions is to feel them. When faced with choosing to avoid your feelings or allow, always allow. I promise you’ll not only survive, you’ll actually start to see changes.

Journey Of Attachment Feeling Your Feelings

Those of us stuck in attached relationships often believe we are only capable of having painful relationships, but really it’s just an inability to feel our feelings. When you don’t connect with yourself, you crave intensity and drama because it serves as a distraction to what’s really going on beneath the surface. You create drama to avoid your deeper emotions.
 
It’s a roller coaster: periods of numbness to stay within your comfort zone spiked with hits of intensity, pain and drama (after all, numb gets old after a while). You crave that next “hit” so YOU make it happen, even if it’s only in your reaction to the other person. Your perception of reality is viewed through the lens of “this relationship must be painful,” so you act and react accordingly. Intense reactions are usually based on past emotional trauma. When you catch yourself overreacting, it’s almost always an old hurt vs. the present situation. 
 
But both ends of the spectrum—numbness and intensity—mask your true emotions. Look for these ups and downs in your relationships because it can really wake you up to the role you play. It can show you that peace, joy, excitement, fun and other positive states are missing from your life because you’re so focused on numbness and pain. 
 
I know because I lived this roller coaster over and over. I never had the relationship I said I wanted because I avoided the deeper emotions a healthy relationship requires. So I had to dig into my deeper beliefs, and even look at my ability to have a healthy relationship with myself. Learn how to stop the numbness-intensity cycle and all the other B.S. you tell yourself about relationships.

Journey Of Attachment The Numbness - Intensity Cycle In Relationships

Insecure attachment doesn’t just show up in relationships (although it seems to dominate in this area!). It creates issues in all aspects of our lives, and resistance to change keeps us stuck in it. Moving out of our comfort zone and taking emotionally-inspired action is frightening. This is true for everyone, but particularly for those with insecure attachment because we fear vulnerability and don’t trust ourselves. 
 
The more resistance we have, the more fear builds. And that fear becomes harder to overcome, so we feel even more stuck (fun, huh?). Instead of taking emotional action, we think we can figure things out in our head, strategizing our way out. This leads absolutely nowhere. Trust me, I tried it for years. Actually, it’s even worse than nowhere because you drive yourself nuts in the process, not understanding why all that mental energy has zero effect. You can see how this cycle of resistance, fear and strategizing can take up all your headspace and focus. It’s exhausting, but your subconscious likes it because it keeps you safely away from change. Unfortunately it does nothing for an authentic and joyful life. 
 
I’ve covered many different aspects of attachment and its effects, but it all comes down to breaking through resistance and taking emotionally-inspired action. There must be an openness, walking full frontal into your fear. Until you do, you will repeat the same patterns and believe you have no power to change. You absolutely DO have the power, though. Thinking otherwise is just an excuse to keep you stuck. Isn’t it time you get out of your own way and take action toward the life you want?!

Journey Of Attachment The Mental Blockages That Keep You Safe

Many insecurely attached people are anxious and/or avoidant. If they sense someone is emotionally available, they will create excuses to run because it is scary and unfamiliar. Instead of being open and vulnerable, which would be completely unfamiliar to them, they look for perfect. Focusing on finding flaws and supposed deal breakers with potential partners serve as an excuse for staying distant. Until the anxious/avoidant begins to love him or herself enough to withstand the “feared engulfment” of intimacy, there will be no true connection and their relationships will never evolve. We do this unconsciously, which is why I created this podcast.
 
Insecurely attached folks tend to be tied up in drama and struggle. It may not be consciously apparent to them, as they do not believe they are the source of it, but it takes two to tango. And until they recognize responsibility for their part, they will continue searching for the elusive perfect partner who never shows up. Finding yourself stuck in this circle of hell is something I know very well. When you are ready to start feeling your feelings and having a loving relationship with yourself, you will consciously stop looking for deal breakers and have enough awareness to start opening yourself up to the possibility of a healthy relationship with another perfectly flawed human.

Journey Of Attachment: Finding The Perfect Partner

People in insecurely attached relationships tend to put their partner on a pedestal, then knock them off every time they do not come through (which is often). This serves as a fantastic distraction from our negative feelings about ourselves, allowing us to focus on the other person and how they keep failing us. We believe the object of our desire withholds from us or punishes us because we are not as good as him or her, but we hope one day we’ll measure up. By all accounts we see them as perfect and ourselves as imperfect, thinking they can do no wrong… until they do. Over and over.
 
When we put people on a pedestal we expect the impossible from them; we want a fantasy to come true. We believe they are so much better than previous people we have dated and have unrealistic expectations of what they will bring to our lives. Unfortunately they let us down, showing us their human flaws. When the relationship ends, we blame them, but it’s really ourselves we have to blame because never had a realistic view of the relationship. We were living in fantasyland. Learn why we put people on pedestals and how focusing on your own feelings is the path to breaking that pattern.

Journey Of Attachment: Putting People On Pedestals

Most people with insecure attachment don’t know the first thing about having fun. We THINK we let loose at times, but we really don’t. There’s a limit because we’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. We think something is bound to go wrong, so we only allow ourselves to experience life halfway. If we don’t go “all in,” there’s a (false) sense we’re protecting ourselves from an inevitable fall.
 
But when we blunt or block negative emotions, the same happens to the positive ones. We can’t selectively experience joy while suppressing fear, disappointment or sadness. It doesn’t work that way. As a result, we limit ourselves. Living full out actually requires courage because it opens you up to the full spectrum of emotions. It says you trust yourself enough to handle it without being swallowed up or sucked down the rabbit hole. That’s hard to do.
 
I was called “serious” for much of my life. In my relationships I could never fully relax and have fun because I was always on guard, hypervigilant. But this tension created drama (which we insecurely attached people subconsciously manifest because it’s familiar), leading to a roller-coaster of emotions. Ironic how, in an effort to dull negative emotions, we end up doing the opposite! I couldn’t feel the depth of my exaggerated emotions, which were attached to fantasy—to hope—not reality. We mistake intensity for fun.
 
The sad thing is, we have no idea how much we actively avoid fun, missing out on life. Fun requires full emotional presence, allowing and accepting whatever may come. It does not result from trying to control, manipulate, hide or avoid. To fully experience joy, you have to let go and trust that you can handle whatever feelings emerge. Otherwise you’re living half a life… and where is the fun in that?

Journey Of Attachment: You Think You’re Having Fun, But Are You?

We say we want commitment, but often our actions tell a different story. For the insecurely attached, we feel safer in relationships that have an escape hatch; a way out. This “protects” us from having to get too close. When I talk to clients who complain about the person they’re dating and his or her reluctance to commit, I always turn the question back on my client to ask where THEY are afraid to commit. Of course most of them don’t think they are; it is the other person who is solely responsible for the relationship not progressing. Sorry, folks, but not so. Even if they pledged their undying love for you, it wouldn’t matter because you’ve already got your bags packed.
 
Sometimes this shows up when we meet someone who is emotionally available. It’s terribly uncomfortable, so we freak out and look around for the trusty ol’ escape hatch that has served us so well in the past. Perhaps we’re afraid of this emotionally stable relationship being boring. How can we create drama and be the rescuer if he/she doesn’t need to be rescued? What if all we have to do is simply be ourselves? Scary. The escape hatch serves as an excuse to pin the commitment issues on the other person, allowing us to totally avoid our own fears and hide who we are. We put so much effort into these non-relationships, just to turn around and make sure we’re able to climb out of them. It requires a lot of energy, and it is the long, long path to a healthy, happy relationship. Learn more about how the subconscious works when it comes to commitment, and how it ALWAYS comes back to you.

Journey Of Attachment: Commitment And The Escape Hatch

Avoidants tend to keep emotional intimacy at bay because, well, they avoid it out of fear. Most don’t know what it feels like based on past experiences; all they know is that it’s something scary. In a romantic context this usually plays out in one of two ways: avoiding sex altogether or keeping it casual.
 
People who are Anxious, however, have a dilemma. They desire emotional closeness, but have trouble maintaining it in a relationship and hope that by using sex as a substitute, they’ll get what they desire. They are not interested in casual encounters, but may compromise their boundaries to please the other person. The Anxious person does this in an effort to “convince” their mate to commit to a relationship. Sex, they believe, is the lever. If the physical attraction is so amazing, the other person won’t want to leave. This strong desire for intimacy drives them toward behavior that feels completely outside their control. The desire is like a drug, leading to a decreased feeling of value and lowered self-esteem.
 
Whether you are Avoidant, Anxious or a combination of both, the lack of emotional intimacy on both ends keeps the insecurely attached relationship intact. This podcast will help you better understand your sex-intimacy connection, how you can change this dynamic to see why you choose the people you do and how to stop reinforcing your intimacy fears.

Journey of Attachment: The Disconnect Between Emotional And Physical Intimacy

Early childhood is where avoidant seeds take root. If you fall into this category of insecurely attached Avoidants, you probably developed a pseudo-independent identity, going to great lengths to prove you could take care of yourself. You acted like a little adult, holding yourself to pretty strict standards. This self-sufficiency carried over into actual adulthood where you had little or no desire to seek help and support from others. “I’m fine,” you’d say, when you were anything but. 
 
This self-containment becomes threatened inside intimate relationships. We avoid vulnerability because revealing our true selves may lead to rejection or abandonment. This results in not fully committing; we keep one foot out so we can focus on other distractions. Or we avoid relationships altogether, coping with our repressed emotions and asserting our “independence” by resisting vulnerability and intimacy. But then attachment needs kick in, activating anxiety over the fact we’re alone. What a painful pattern to live in, right? This is the Anxious/Avoidant attachment type at play.
 
That was me for a long time—my mom actually used to call me her little soldier. But it IS possible to change. The pattern was learned, so it can be unlearned. What it really comes down to is your value. You may put on a brave, confident face (and wear your independent badge of honor), but underneath is the fear of being found out. You protect yourself by choosing safe partners who do not trigger you, therefore keeping your façade intact where your true self can remain a mystery. This doesn’t feel good or lead to a fulfilling existence. It just keeps you stuck in those old patterns and beliefs around your perceived value. In this podcast I’ll provide some tools to release you from this self-made prison so you can open up to receive the support every human needs and deserves.

Journey Of Attachment: All About Avoidants

In an insecurely attached relationship where your needs aren’t being met, there is a tendency to think of your partner as the enemy (think about the words you use to describe him or her). On a deeper level, it feels as though he/she is working against you and deliberately making you unhappy. When your partner isn’t giving you what you want, your entire focus is on him/her because you think they are withholding. Maybe they gave you want you wanted at some point, or so you thought, but it wasn’t what you REALLY wanted because you never connected with your own deeper needs. So you were left with a feeling of lack; of not enough. Attachment always goes with lack… along with its friend “blame." When we don’t feel our needs are being met, we have been taught to blame the other person. We build a case against them because we’re not happy, making it a black-and-white issue of one person being “good” and the other “bad.”

When you look at your mate as the villain because they aren’t fulfilling your needs, it is not a partnership. You become defensive and untrusting, operating on autopilot (so you may not even notice what you’re doing). It is a fantastic distraction from your own feelings and desires. For a truly happy relationship, stop looking at the other person as the enemy or as the reason you feel the way you do, and instead focus on what you aren’t giving yourself. If you don’t take care of your own needs (and know what they are), no one else will be able to.

Journey of Attachment: How We Turn Our Partner Into the Enemy

Even those of us who have done work on ourselves have patterns that are difficult to break, especially when it comes to relationships. You’ll have moments when you are emotionally triggered, wondering why you are having such a strong reaction to something seemingly innocent. It’s because it actually has nothing to do with the present; it’s all based on past pain. These triggers are like a time machine, taking you back to that moment (or moments) when you felt alone, not good enough, not important, not loveable, imperfect, etc. It can be especially frustrating when it’s something you thought you had already worked through. But no, there it is, staring you in the face again. 

Dating and being in a relationship challenges you and everything you think you’ve “dealt” with. It brings old emotions to the surface without warning or rational explanation. Old pain will show up when you least expect it (or want it), making you feel like you’re on some twisted emotional roller coaster. I’m here to tell you… you can handle it. Buckling yourself in and allowing the flood of emotions is the path to emotional freedom and healthier relationships. While not particularly fun, you will grow infinitely more by allowing the triggers than if you stay single, safely away from their reach. 

The pain can’t be shoved down forever. It will eventually come up, needing to be healed. If you want a healthy, happy relationship, you have to allow the eruption of feelings, then challenge your beliefs that fuel them. It’s about changing your perspective based on what you know NOW and adjusting your expectations. Old pain lurks, waiting for an opportunity to surface. By trusting that you can handle it and continuing to love yourself, you will stop being imprisoned by it. It’s a process that takes time, but when you release the pain and challenge your beliefs, the triggers start to lose their power.

The Journey of Attachment: How Triggers Uncover Old Pain

The funny thing with attachment is it doesn’t just affect who you’re attached to, but how it feeds your negative beliefs. The latter creates the foundation for your experiences, creating potential problems for you in the future. This is why I tell people not to leave an insecurely attached romance prematurely (provided there is no danger, of course) because even though the situation will change, the beliefs still exist and these people will have to deal with themselves sooner or later. 

As we grow in self-discovery and awareness, we stumble over the same obstacles. If you were in a yo-yo relationship with someone who kept coming in and out of your life, you would be used to inconsistency. Unless you understand WHY you’re drawn to inconsistency (i.e. you don’t deserve better), you will continue to look for it. Even if you get into a healthier relationship with someone who consistently shows up, you’ll look for any hint at inconsistent behavior, creating problems where problems don’t exist. Maybe he/she texts you every night, but was out with friends and didn’t text you. Your “inconsistency” alert will go off and you’ll blame it on the other person, but you wouldn’t have this issue if you didn’t have the belief.  

We focus on wanting something different rather than accepting what we have chosen because we don’t realize we have chosen it—it is unconscious until we’re able to spot it. And that just results in future relationships where we’re on pins and needles, looking for our partner to slip up. So let’s get away from these unhappy surprises and bring some awareness to what is going on, and why we choose what we do.

Journey of Attachment: Unhappy Surprises

When we are insecurely attached, we usually show up as the same person, expecting the same thing from an impossible situation. It’s like that expression: If you want your head to stop hurting, stop banging it against a wall. Somehow we think the headache will go away simply because we want it to (even though we keep pounding away). Why do we do this even though we know it’s illogical? Why are we vested in relationships that never meet our needs?
 
We repeat our past because it’s what we know. Our childhood reactions are carried through adulthood so we equate present situations with the past; the players may have changed, but the characters remain the same. Hence, we show up as we always have and respond the same. These patterns allow us to avoid intimacy because they’re based on an old perspective, one that has roots from years of conditioning. Changing our perception is difficult and scary. What if we have to deal with disappointment, imperfection, loss and other unknowns? Better to stay stuck in a loop of what we DO know, even if it keeps us miserable. Better to keep banging our head. Except it’s not better.
 
If you want to get yourself out of the “same thing, different day” routine, you have to stop hiding out. You have to get uncomfortably vulnerable and uncover your deeper truth, then take different actions. It’s time to put an end to the pain and try different. I’ll guide you.

Journey of Attachment: Same Thing, Different Day

It takes so little to trigger the feeling of abandonment; only the fear of him or her leaving, even if it is somewhere you believe to be reasonable. Many of us end up with people who aren’t sincerely on the same page with us and we may even emotionally beat ourselves up while we grip tightly because of it. We want out, but man oh man, we are ready to flip out if this person leaves us for any length of time. The funny part is, if you imagine you’re with him/her, and you feel like you want to go do your own thing, but he or she leaves at some point, you miss them… unreasonably so. It becomes intense. The intensity is related to our feelings of abandonment. No rational thinking takes away the anxious feeling of needing to hear from them, knowing they haven’t really left us. In reality they may just be at work.
 
I remember someone telling me she only missed her mate when he was at work. It is the thrill of the fear. In other words, the intense anxiety makes us feel more value for the relationship than is really there. It’s an illusion. It comes from the lack of value we have in ourselves, and needing validation from someone who doesn’t want to give it. And even if they do, it doesn’t matter because no one can fill the space inside.
 
The disconnection we feel when the person leaves, or we fear they will leave, can drive us to go against ourselves and make the most together person have a hard time hiding the “crazy” they feel. The pattern with insecure attachment relationships is the feeling of inconsistency. So much inconsistency keeps us going through abandonment every day! Learn how mindfulness and self-awareness can help you, along with settling your own reactions and feelings around abandonment, so you can live your life on your own emotional terms.

Journey of Attachment: Fear of Abandonment

Attachment issues are big among my podcast listeners; there’s a reason I have an entire series devoted to it! But there is a difference between those who are ATTACHED to their attached relationship, and those who truly want to let go. You need to honestly ask yourself: Are you more comfortable with the devil you know, or are you willing to do the hard work needed to make a change?

Deciding you have value and wanting to move out of a dysfunctional relationship is one of the hardest things to do. I remember being chained to a relationship I didn’t want, yet no matter how many times I broke up with him or refused to talk to him, it never made those attachment feelings go away. Fear keeps us stuck in these relationships, and it’s where I lived for a long time. I felt a total loss of control over myself and my relationship, like I couldn’t get a handle on either. Fear of commitment showed up too, as it often does. Attached relationships are perfect for those of us who don’t want to commit to ourselves because we never have to. I couldn’t see how much I was settling because I was more concerned with the safety of the familiar. I unconsciously hoped he would rescue me from the empty space inside, and I held onto that, waiting. It’s an illusion that keeps us stuck, not sure we’re ready to leave our emotionally comfortable, yet painful place. Because what if one day things magically change…

While deciding you truly WANT a healthy relationship is the first step, the next step isn’t necessarily letting go of your attached relationship. Sometimes we do this prematurely and jump right into another one because we don’t take the time to learn. Check in with your feelings, notice your reactions, see what triggers your partner hits and where they come from. It’s also important to honor the dysfunctional space you’re in without beating yourself up. You CAN have a healthy, happy relationship. But you have to truly want it. Do you?

Journey of Attachment

Journey of Attachment: The Comfort of Dysfunction

Most people don’t say it out loud, or even recognize why they hold themselves back from personal growth… but sometimes they fear losing their partner. When people come to me for help, one of the first questions they ask is if they can do this work and still stay with their partner. Even if they want to leave because the relationship is full of dysfunction, they are deeply attached and looking for ways around it.

Many are stuck in scarcity, thinking there won’t be another person to love them. It’s safer to stay. Or they fear abandonment, with anxiety creeping up and panic at the back of their throat. The threat of being abandoned keeps them from doing anything to rock the boat, staying stuck. When in this place, people don’t know what they would do without their partner; they can’t imagine it. Their focus is on maintaining control over the current situation to keep it all the same… even though they want change. Change is HARD. It means letting go of outcomes and allowing yourself to be who you authentically are. It means letting the chips fall where they may (not manipulating) and feeling good doing it. Join me to learn more about personal growth when in an attached relationship.

Journey of Attachment: Afraid of Growth for Fear of Losing Your Partner

A lot of us live in our head, disconnected from our feelings and intuition. This podcast touches on releasing insecure attachment, accepting your authentic self and getting “unstuck” by connecting to how you FEEL instead of how you THINK. I’ve been there, and discuss sensitive subjects using my own experiences with a lot of laughs and even more empathy… because we’re all flawed humans.