Freedom from Attachment: Living Fulfilled, Happy and in Love

In a world filled with external expectations and obstacles, it's crucial to tune into your inner desires and follow your "yes." Join Tracy in an enlightening episode of "Moving On" as she interviews Ken Bechtel, an acclaimed author, speaker, and mentor, who shares invaluable insights on the transformative power of following your divine guidance. Ken emphasizes the importance of embracing unexpected outcomes and trusting that every piece of the puzzle is there for a reason.

During their conversation, Ken and Tracy dive into the topic of shame and its role as a catalyst for change. Rather than viewing shame as something to be healed, Ken urges listeners to identify its source and take proactive steps to prevent its recurrence. Discover how recognizing and working through shame can provide clarity on your next steps towards personal growth and self-discovery.

Ken's book, Follow Your Yes provides further exploration of the concept of following your inner guidance and offers practical advice on navigating life's obstacles. 

Immerse yourself and embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery. Let Ken and Tracy's empowering words resonate within you as they guide you towards staying true to yourself and fearlessly embracing life's intricate puzzle. By following your "yes" and embracing your inner guidance, you'll unlock the door to profound growth and fulfillment that await you.

Learn more about Ken here:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/followyouryes/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KenWBechtel
Website: https://www.kenbechtel.com/

#713 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Ken Bechtel

Your attachment to that person or finding yourself hitting repeat on the kind of relationships you attract? Perhaps it's more than just conditioning?

Let’s uncover the hidden gems within attachment issues— they're not just conditioning, —they're actually opportunities for personal growth and transformation. Once we release the idea that attachment is everything, a whole new world of emotional and spiritual freedom opens up to us.

Picture this: your soul contract is like a guiding light throughout your entire life, presenting you with contrasting situations that are designed to help you grow and discover the true essence of love. It's time to move beyond blame and shift our perspective. When we do that, attachments start losing their hold on us, and love becomes the ultimate game changer. Listen into the podcast to learn more. 

Ready to embark on this life-altering journey? Start by nurturing your awareness and consider exploring our mind-blowing metaphysical breakthrough sessions. They're like a compass, providing you with invaluable insights and guidance along the way. 

Come join us on this adventure of attachment and unlock the incredible power of soul contracts to create a life that's truly fulfilled, happy, and overflowing with love. Let's do this together!

#714 Attachment is Not Just Conditioning; Check Out the Soul Contract

Join us as we sit down with Kristina Mand-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley, for a thought-provoking conversation that will inspire and empower you.

We begin by delving into Kristina's childhood dreams and how her journey into adulthood was shaped by the transformative events of the fall of the Soviet Union. 

Furthermore, we explore the transformative impact of everyday decisions. Discover the profound impact that seemingly small choices can have on our lives. Gain practical strategies to overcome decision fatigue and streamline your decision-making process, freeing up valuable mental energy for what truly matters.

As we conclude our conversation, we explore the transformative practice of letting go. Get a glimpse into Kristina's new book, "Becoming Flawesome," which offers guidance on releasing what no longer serves us, leading to a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life.

Tune into this illuminating journey with Kristina Mand-Lakhiani and unlock the keys to embracing your fullest potential.

Learn more about Kristina here:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristinamand/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kristinamand
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristina-mand-lakhiani-73168414/
Website: https://kristinamand.com/

#715 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Kristina Mand-Lakhiani

Olesya Wilson, a certified nutritionist and holistic healer, joins Tracy as they dive into a captivating conversation about overcoming health issues and discovering the path to holistic healing. Olesya's incredible story showed how she broke free from limiting beliefs and unlocked her inner strength. Olesya challenges societal norms, redefining confidence as an inner essence and emphasizing the significance of self-love, self-care, and living in the present moment. 

Uncover the principles of self-value, self-care, and self-observation, shaping your relationship with money and overall well-being. Immerse yourself in the transformative power of the present moment, cultivating gratitude and contentment. Join Tracy and Olesya on this immersive journey, unlocking your inner power and embracing a life of holistic well-being.

Learn more here:
Website: https://olesyawilson.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindoverbody.me/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindoverbodyme/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@olesyawilson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/olesyawilson/

#716 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Olesya Wilson

Having your soulmate may seem impossible or that it could happen, but with conditions. This episode shines a light on how the ego gets in the way because of its fierce pursuit of survival while spinning illusions of specialness. You ever notice how you make someone special when you are attached to the idea of them? You ever notice how you need to be special too? Yeah, its not love, it's ego. Tracy shares her personal journey to taming the ego, revealing a path to genuine love (not attachment) and inner peace.

Whether it's a fulfilling love relationship, financial prosperity, or internal harmony you seek, in this episode, Tracy provides practical steps towards self-awareness to redirect your energy towards your true north star.

No more hiding or forcing—embrace a sincere journey towards self-discovery, freedom, and joy. Tune in to find the path to having your soulmate through your authentic vibe to attract your desires.

#717 Taming Your Ego to Have Your Soulmate

Join Tracy Crossley and guest María-Victoria Albina. From her own battle with codependency to an unexpected shift from medicine to life coaching, Maria shares her unique insights and personal experiences. 

Listen as María-Victoria dives into the challenges and lessons of her life, from her struggle with perfectionism during college to her journey through an emotionally abusive marriage.

Regardless of where you are in your personal journey, this episode offers valuable takeaways for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of themselves and the transformative power of love.

Learn more about María-Victoria here:
https://www.instagram.com/victoriaalbinawellness/, https://www.facebook.com/VictoriaAlbinaWellness, https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoriaalbina/

#718 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with María-Victoria Albina

Avoidants have feelings, but they may not be what you expect. This episode shines a light on the complex world of avoidants, revealing how fear and control can mask genuine emotions. You ever notice how avoidants act nice but push others away? You ever notice that you could be one? Do you build walls when triggered? Yeah, it's not coldness (and if you’ve been accused then you know how that feels), it's fear. Tracy dives into the psyche of avoidants, sharing insights into why they behave the way they do and how they can break free.

Whether it's understanding your own avoidant tendencies, learning how to interact with an avoidant in your life, or seeking a path to real love and connection, in this episode, Tracy provides practical steps towards self-awareness to navigate these challenging dynamics.

No more confusion or frustration—embrace a sincere journey towards empathy, understanding, and growth. Tune in to find the path to recognizing and addressing avoidant behavior, unlocking the potential for healthy, happy relationships.

#719 Freedom From Attachment: Avoidants do have feelings

Heather Allison, a mystical guide and creator of Transformative Mystery Schools, joins Tracy for an enthralling conversation about embracing feminine and masculine energies and finding one's true self. Heather's remarkable journey takes us from the struggles of a toxic relationship to the awakening of her inner wisdom, redefining her life's trajectory. 

Dive into the mystical realms of your inner sanctuary, spiraling towards expansion and enlightenment. Join Tracy and Heather on this enlightening journey, unlocking your inner dreamer and embracing a life filled with authenticity and purpose.

#720 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Heather Allison

Join Tracy as she engages in a riveting conversation with Steve Q. Wiltshire, a former Mr. Oregon Body Building champion who battled and overcame a life-altering autoimmune disease. Discover the magic of produce, and the transformative power of customized wellness plans. 

Steve, founder of Body Temple Health & Wellness, shares insights from his three-decade-long journey prioritizing fitness, health, and mindset.

From personal tales of resilience to actionable health advice, this episode is a treasure trove for anyone looking to reclaim their health and power. Tune in and be inspired by Steve's story.

#721 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Steve Wiltshire

Join us in a riveting discussion on relationships, self-love, and personal growth with two exceptional women. Sherry Gaba, a licensed psychotherapist and life coach, is renowned for her expertise in codependency, love addiction, and trauma. As the author of "Love Smacked" and a frequent face on Vh1’s Celebrity Rehab, Sherry's dedication to mental health and recovery is unparalleled. 

On the other side, Carla Romo, a Professional Certified Coach and co-host of The Love Fix, transformed her life after overcoming toxic codependency at 24. With a passion for pushing individuals past their limitations, Carla's coaching has been recognized globally, from BRAVO to Cosmopolitan.

Dive into their shared wisdom on modern dating, self-awareness, and the art of intentional relationships. Whether you're seeking love, understanding, or a fresh perspective, this episode promises enlightenment and empowerment.

#722 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Carla Romo and Sherry Gaba

Those of us stuck in attached relationships often believe we are only capable of having painful relationships, but really it’s just an inability to feel our feelings. When you don’t connect with yourself, you crave intensity and drama because it serves as a distraction to what’s really going on beneath the surface. You create drama to avoid your deeper emotions.
 
It’s a roller coaster: periods of numbness to stay within your comfort zone spiked with hits of intensity, pain and drama (after all, numb gets old after a while). You crave that next “hit” so YOU make it happen, even if it’s only in your reaction to the other person. Your perception of reality is viewed through the lens of “this relationship must be painful,” so you act and react accordingly. Intense reactions are usually based on past emotional trauma. When you catch yourself overreacting, it’s almost always an old hurt vs. the present situation. 
 
But both ends of the spectrum—numbness and intensity—mask your true emotions. Look for these ups and downs in your relationships because it can really wake you up to the role you play. It can show you that peace, joy, excitement, fun and other positive states are missing from your life because you’re so focused on numbness and pain. 
 
I know because I lived this roller coaster over and over. I never had the relationship I said I wanted because I avoided the deeper emotions a healthy relationship requires. So I had to dig into my deeper beliefs, and even look at my ability to have a healthy relationship with myself. Learn how to stop the numbness-intensity cycle and all the other B.S. you tell yourself about relationships.

Journey Of Attachment The Numbness - Intensity Cycle In Relationships

Even those of us who have done work on ourselves have patterns that are difficult to break, especially when it comes to relationships. You’ll have moments when you are emotionally triggered, wondering why you are having such a strong reaction to something seemingly innocent. It’s because it actually has nothing to do with the present; it’s all based on past pain. These triggers are like a time machine, taking you back to that moment (or moments) when you felt alone, not good enough, not important, not loveable, imperfect, etc. It can be especially frustrating when it’s something you thought you had already worked through. But no, there it is, staring you in the face again. 

Dating and being in a relationship challenges you and everything you think you’ve “dealt” with. It brings old emotions to the surface without warning or rational explanation. Old pain will show up when you least expect it (or want it), making you feel like you’re on some twisted emotional roller coaster. I’m here to tell you… you can handle it. Buckling yourself in and allowing the flood of emotions is the path to emotional freedom and healthier relationships. While not particularly fun, you will grow infinitely more by allowing the triggers than if you stay single, safely away from their reach. 

The pain can’t be shoved down forever. It will eventually come up, needing to be healed. If you want a healthy, happy relationship, you have to allow the eruption of feelings, then challenge your beliefs that fuel them. It’s about changing your perspective based on what you know NOW and adjusting your expectations. Old pain lurks, waiting for an opportunity to surface. By trusting that you can handle it and continuing to love yourself, you will stop being imprisoned by it. It’s a process that takes time, but when you release the pain and challenge your beliefs, the triggers start to lose their power.

The Journey of Attachment: How Triggers Uncover Old Pain

The funny thing with attachment is it doesn’t just affect who you’re attached to, but how it feeds your negative beliefs. The latter creates the foundation for your experiences, creating potential problems for you in the future. This is why I tell people not to leave an insecurely attached romance prematurely (provided there is no danger, of course) because even though the situation will change, the beliefs still exist and these people will have to deal with themselves sooner or later. 

As we grow in self-discovery and awareness, we stumble over the same obstacles. If you were in a yo-yo relationship with someone who kept coming in and out of your life, you would be used to inconsistency. Unless you understand WHY you’re drawn to inconsistency (i.e. you don’t deserve better), you will continue to look for it. Even if you get into a healthier relationship with someone who consistently shows up, you’ll look for any hint at inconsistent behavior, creating problems where problems don’t exist. Maybe he/she texts you every night, but was out with friends and didn’t text you. Your “inconsistency” alert will go off and you’ll blame it on the other person, but you wouldn’t have this issue if you didn’t have the belief.  

We focus on wanting something different rather than accepting what we have chosen because we don’t realize we have chosen it—it is unconscious until we’re able to spot it. And that just results in future relationships where we’re on pins and needles, looking for our partner to slip up. So let’s get away from these unhappy surprises and bring some awareness to what is going on, and why we choose what we do.

Journey of Attachment: Unhappy Surprises

When we are insecurely attached, we usually show up as the same person, expecting the same thing from an impossible situation. It’s like that expression: If you want your head to stop hurting, stop banging it against a wall. Somehow we think the headache will go away simply because we want it to (even though we keep pounding away). Why do we do this even though we know it’s illogical? Why are we vested in relationships that never meet our needs?
 
We repeat our past because it’s what we know. Our childhood reactions are carried through adulthood so we equate present situations with the past; the players may have changed, but the characters remain the same. Hence, we show up as we always have and respond the same. These patterns allow us to avoid intimacy because they’re based on an old perspective, one that has roots from years of conditioning. Changing our perception is difficult and scary. What if we have to deal with disappointment, imperfection, loss and other unknowns? Better to stay stuck in a loop of what we DO know, even if it keeps us miserable. Better to keep banging our head. Except it’s not better.
 
If you want to get yourself out of the “same thing, different day” routine, you have to stop hiding out. You have to get uncomfortably vulnerable and uncover your deeper truth, then take different actions. It’s time to put an end to the pain and try different. I’ll guide you.

Journey of Attachment: Same Thing, Different Day

It takes so little to trigger the feeling of abandonment; only the fear of him or her leaving, even if it is somewhere you believe to be reasonable. Many of us end up with people who aren’t sincerely on the same page with us and we may even emotionally beat ourselves up while we grip tightly because of it. We want out, but man oh man, we are ready to flip out if this person leaves us for any length of time. The funny part is, if you imagine you’re with him/her, and you feel like you want to go do your own thing, but he or she leaves at some point, you miss them… unreasonably so. It becomes intense. The intensity is related to our feelings of abandonment. No rational thinking takes away the anxious feeling of needing to hear from them, knowing they haven’t really left us. In reality they may just be at work.
 
I remember someone telling me she only missed her mate when he was at work. It is the thrill of the fear. In other words, the intense anxiety makes us feel more value for the relationship than is really there. It’s an illusion. It comes from the lack of value we have in ourselves, and needing validation from someone who doesn’t want to give it. And even if they do, it doesn’t matter because no one can fill the space inside.
 
The disconnection we feel when the person leaves, or we fear they will leave, can drive us to go against ourselves and make the most together person have a hard time hiding the “crazy” they feel. The pattern with insecure attachment relationships is the feeling of inconsistency. So much inconsistency keeps us going through abandonment every day! Learn how mindfulness and self-awareness can help you, along with settling your own reactions and feelings around abandonment, so you can live your life on your own emotional terms.

Journey of Attachment: Fear of Abandonment

Attachment issues are big among my podcast listeners; there’s a reason I have an entire series devoted to it! But there is a difference between those who are ATTACHED to their attached relationship, and those who truly want to let go. You need to honestly ask yourself: Are you more comfortable with the devil you know, or are you willing to do the hard work needed to make a change?

Deciding you have value and wanting to move out of a dysfunctional relationship is one of the hardest things to do. I remember being chained to a relationship I didn’t want, yet no matter how many times I broke up with him or refused to talk to him, it never made those attachment feelings go away. Fear keeps us stuck in these relationships, and it’s where I lived for a long time. I felt a total loss of control over myself and my relationship, like I couldn’t get a handle on either. Fear of commitment showed up too, as it often does. Attached relationships are perfect for those of us who don’t want to commit to ourselves because we never have to. I couldn’t see how much I was settling because I was more concerned with the safety of the familiar. I unconsciously hoped he would rescue me from the empty space inside, and I held onto that, waiting. It’s an illusion that keeps us stuck, not sure we’re ready to leave our emotionally comfortable, yet painful place. Because what if one day things magically change…

While deciding you truly WANT a healthy relationship is the first step, the next step isn’t necessarily letting go of your attached relationship. Sometimes we do this prematurely and jump right into another one because we don’t take the time to learn. Check in with your feelings, notice your reactions, see what triggers your partner hits and where they come from. It’s also important to honor the dysfunctional space you’re in without beating yourself up. You CAN have a healthy, happy relationship. But you have to truly want it. Do you?

Journey of Attachment

Journey of Attachment: The Comfort of Dysfunction

A lot of us live in our head, disconnected from our feelings and intuition. This podcast touches on releasing insecure attachment, accepting your authentic self and getting “unstuck” by connecting to how you FEEL instead of how you THINK. I’ve been there, and discuss sensitive subjects using my own experiences with a lot of laughs and even more empathy… because we’re all flawed humans.

Journey Of Attachment The Numbness - Intensity Cycle In Relationships

Freedom from Attachment

Related tracks