Politics

Adults Only - XXX - Dirty - Warning! - Run! - Don't Listen!

TurtleFrogMan

Drag Queen Story Hour

My wife and I were playing pool, you see, our marriage had grown stale 
And we agreed to have a date night to address our Marriage troubles 
A young couple put their quarters on the billiard table rail 
And asked if they could join us in a friendly game of doubles 

And this couple was attractive, they lived together I should mention 
And in no time we were all of us, engaged in harmless flirting 
My wife and I  seemed to come alive, like we were starving for attention 
And the thrill that I got watching my wife flirt was disconcerting 

Between the time that had elapsed and our perception was a slight gap 
the hours passed like minutes and to our shock the bar was closing 
“hey! we just bought a new hot tub why don’t you come back to our place for a night cap?” 
And naively we agreed to what our young friends were proposing 

Let’s take a momentary pause in the telling of our tale 
Do you think they should continue or stop?  
Will they continue unabated or will cooler heads prevail?  
Are these couples really going to swap?

We followed them back to their home and once we had all inside gathered 
We exchanged the typical pleasantries | and we got the typical tour 
And then they led us back to their hot tub and the water was already lathered 
He said, “let me pour us some drinks | what is your liquor du jour?”

He returned and he gleefully shouted, “Let’s get into that hot tub and drink!” 
I said, “we didn’t bring any swimming suits | perhaps you might have two to spare?”
And they looked at me like I was joking | and he gave me a devilish wink 
He said, “nobody under age 80 gets into our hot tub unless they are bare!”  

Let’s take a momentary pause in the telling of our tale 
Do you think they will continue or stop?  
Will they continue unabated or will cooler heads prevail?  
Are these couples really going to swap?

Now my wife and I are conservative and keenly aware of the dangers 
Of drinking too much and we normally | know when we both ought to stop 
But here we were on the verge of undressing| |. In front of these virtual strangers 
And it was slowly becoming apparent | That this couple was eager to swap 

Sometimes you commit to an action | and you feel like you have to proceed
In spite of the voices you hear in your head | that scream “fire only gets hotter” 
I looked at my wife and she nervously smiled | I could tell we both agreed 
Both of us quickly undressed and slipped into the depths of the roiling water 

Let’s take a momentary pause in the telling of our tale 
Do you think they will continue or stop?  
Will they continue down this pathway or will cooler heads prevail?  
Are these couples really going to swap?


So the four of us were naked beneath the froth and all the bubbles 
And I broke the awkward silence with what I thought a pithy toast 
“to think this all got started with a friendly game of doubles 
And just then my wife jumped up and screamed as if she’d seen a ghost 

She cried “I’m sorry we have stop now.  Our marriage will not make it through this. 
He had tried to caress my wife’s thigh which for her was a bridge too far. 
I apologized to this couple and said “we’re just not the sort of people that do this” 
We gathered up our clothes, left their house and went back to our car 

And now we’ve come to what appears to be the ending of our tale 
Should they have waited for the next shoe to drop?
Will their marriage show improvement or is it doomed to fail?    
Did they secretly desire to Swap?

Couples Swap

At the young age of 12, they imprisoned twin sisters 
they haven’t seen the sun since, the sun’s glow long forgotten 
At the time they were quite small, no larger than blisters 
in a prison of wire and cotton 

It’s time we let them go free 2x 

They longed to dance and play sports or just bounce around gayly 
But those are movements that their prison home quickly absorbs
allowed out of their cells to take a shower once daily 
And yet they blossomed into beautiful orbs 

Its time we let them go free 2x 

At the age of 18, a new passage was written 
Their lives changed rather drastically, for the worse they both feared 
They were Ripped from their cells, kissed, slurped, licked and bitten 
By some moron with a prickly beard 

Its time we let them go free 2x 

And just 9 short months later, as if god himself chuckled 
It was clear that they were doing what they’d been destined to do 
Each sister took a turn with the infant they suckled 
And the Mother’s milk flowing right through 

Its time we let them go free 


These prisons were invented by the French 500 years ago 
Let’s remember it was the French who invented the guillotine  
Its only women that have to wear these stupid braziers you know 
That’s because a woman’s body was considered obscene


Through the years, they fed 4 infants but the sisters aren’t bragging 
They only did what was asked of them, their natural duty 
In spite of some stretch marks and premature sagging 
They still have all their natural Beauty 

Its time we let them go free


One day, She called to her sister from her cell but no answer 
She’d been removed by a surgeon after a breast cancer screen 
The X-ray showed she had developed a significant cancer 
And was replaced by a bag of saline 

It’s time let them go free


They served their purpose in sex, four starving infants were fattened 
They helped bring shape to your sweater, and a curve to your gown
Now Misshapen and pendulous, like two basketballs flattened 
Two ripened cantaloupes pointing Straight down 

It’s time let them go free

As a man, you might suspect that I just wish to see them 
That I’m just an old pervert who seeks to be entertained 
But trust me, I’m an advocate for your dear sister’s freedom 
To jiggle and bounce unrestrained 

Its time we let them go free

Let The Sisters Go Free

He shot half of his own son’s foot off with a pistol 
He remembers how it happened clear as crystal 

They were practicing their marksmanship on bottles 
Which were lined up side by side along a fence 
His shooting skills were the sort a beginner models 
That’s why the accident made very little sense 

He claims that his finger slipped and he tripped the trigger 
But in Vietnam, the guns he shot were bigger 

And a thousand times more positively fatal 
And handling such weapons was his craft 
While his baby boy lay helpless in a cradle 
He swore that he’d protect him from the draft. 

So he shot half of his own son’s foot off but its seldom mentioned 
And after all the deed was well-intentioned 

You see, he thought he had his government outsmarted 
But when he’s brave enough to cast a backward glimpse 
He sees a little boy so thoroughly downhearted 
Because the other children laugh at the way he limps 

Oh and lately, he’s been drinking double fisted 
Because his eighteen year old daughter just enlisted.

He Shot 1/2 Of His Own Son's Foot Off!

When the virus in its grip held us tightly 
The truckers were on board their rigs riding 
They were hailed as heroes and rightly 
While the rest of us were in our homes hiding 

But even as the virus has subsided 
They’re must choose between losing their jobs or accepting the Syringe 
And these heroes once applauded are now derided 
As terrorists on some ultra right wing fringe 

And so Benjamin Dichter and Tamera Lich 
have organized this miles long convoy 

And this is precisely the pivotal time 
when every world dictator panics 

These are the times when the elitist professor 
Is confronted by the once nameless lawn boy 

And interstate commerce is shut down by truckers 
and the plumbers and the auto mechanics 

I stand with Canadian Truckers 
Out in the wind driven snow 
These are some tough mother fuckers 
Resisting the tyrant Trudeau 

The protesters are trampled by horses 
By cops high above on their mounts 
They’re the useful tools of government forces 
Who arrest them and seize their banking accounts 

I’ve often heard it asked, so just how is it 
That Hitler so evil was elected the country to lead 
Well, the Journalists and bankers were complicit 
And the cops were just following orders, they’ve got kids to feed 

Now Tamera Lich and some other convoy leaders 
Have been rounded up summarily and jailed 

But the protesters are holding fast in Ottawa, 
outgunned and outmanned 

The media, our experts, our elected politicians 
our trusted institutions have all failed 

The time is coming, for us to choose 
a side on which to stand

And I stand with Canadian Truckers 
Out in the wind driven snow 
These are some tough mother fuckers 
Resisting the tyrant Trudeau

I Stand With Canadian Truckers

I’m the prime minister here in the the Netherlands I want to try and explain 
why we are currently seizing the lands of our farmers 

Farmers produce lots of nitrogen oxide which in the air tends to remain 
Our scientists say that its one of our atmosphere harmers 

And nitrogen oxide contributes to climate change, one of the principle factors 
And results of the climate change crisis are simply nightmarish 

Leo Di Caprio, Mathew McCaunneghey, all the big Hollywood actors 
Agree that we have to fix climate change or we will perish

And so, you see, I have no choice but to confiscate all of the farmland and assets 
This can’t be left up to a vote by the common tax payer 

We have to eliminate causes of climate change and all its various facets 
We must sacrifice comfort to try and save the ozone layer

But we’ve all seen some scattered reports of these ignorant farmers unwisely rebelling
They’ve shut down our roads with their tractors 
and their fisherman shut down our ports 
They clearly don’t understand science.  Their minds have been clouded by cow farts they’re smelling
Don’t they know we’re in charge of the media, army, police and municipal courts?  


My name is Jerone Van Maennen and I am the leader of the Dutch Farmer’s uprising.  
We’ve seized control of this radio broadcast, to try to insure our story’s told right 
If you picture yourselves in our wooden shoes, is our reaction so surprising?  
If the government came to take your property from you, would you let the bastards have it or fight?  

All you globalists and you scientists and you idiotic actors 
When the common people rise up you will certainly piss yourselves
You will tremble in the presence of our miles long convoy of tractors
You won’t take our cars, our guns or our land and leave us with empty store shelves

The Dutch Farmer's Uprising

On January 6th  2021 
Congress met to certify an election 
There should have been an investigation but there wasn’t one
There were issues that demanded close inspection 

A president on the cusp of removal 
Urged congress to investigate this fraud
But they seemed determined to give their stamp of approval 
To an election which was obviously flawed 

The video shows 
A crowd left early the speech 
Destination the capitol building to breach!   

What would our forefathers say 
They should do? 
Oh this was an Unfortunate Day 
Yes,  is true. 
It was an Unfortunate Day

Ashli Babbitt lost her life in the mayhem 
Of a skirmish that the press deemed insurrection 
People angry that their leaders would betray them 
And certify a stolen election 

Ashley Babbit was murdered in the aftermath
Of a riot, why not simply just arrest her?
They’ve compared it to nine eleven and you have to laugh 
Three thousand dead vs. one unarmed protestor 

The video shows 
A mob of protestors form 
Egged on by FBI agents,  
into the building they storm!  

And Ashli’s unfortunate youth 
Gone to pot 
Well, That’s the Unfortunate truth 
is it not?   
Yes, that’s unfortunate truth 

By the FBI, these protests were mentored 
Undercover agents helped devise the scheme
And once the capitol building was entered 
The optics were the opposition’s dream 

Ashli’s memory should not have been molested 
The press reported she helped instigate the plot 
Were she not murdered she would have surely been arrested 
And With 500 others thrown into jail to rot 

The video shows 
A window broken in a door 
Ashli tried to climb through it and she was dropped to the floor

And this blew an unfortunate hole
In their plot 
She was an unfortunate soul 
Was she not? 
Yes, she was an unfortunate soul 

Ashli Babbitt wasn’t armed when they shot her 
It took months for her assassin to be named 
She served her country and just look what that got her 
In the press, her reputation was defamed 

Election fraud has caused the country great anguish 
And the strength of our unity is tested 
In solitary confinement many languish 
For trespassing hundreds have been arrested

The video shows 
Riots all summer long 
Yet there were few prosecutions or charges brought, prove me wrong!

Which side you’re on determines your crimes 
& charges brought 
These are unfortunate times 
Are they not? 
Yes these are unfortunate times

The Murder of Ashli Babbit

Clinton was expected to beat Trump in the election 
The main stream press bestowed upon her praises and affection
Big donors such as George Soros were nervous as can be 
If Trump should gain momentum we should have a good plan B

Need a good plan B 

So Clinton searched for dirt on trump and for it she would pay 
a document referred to as the Steele dossier 
It claimed that Trump once paid for Russian hookers to go pee pee 
On a bed Obama slept upon when he was sleepy 

Russian Hookers Pee 

Welcome to the 2015 Miss Universe Pageant 

They alleged that Donald Trump who was a billionaire and owner of a beauty pageant instigated drama 
He Paid Russian prostitutes to urinate upon a bed that he was told had once been slept in by Obama 
It was evil but you’ve got to give the Clinton campaign credit they were masterful in weaving this illusion 
And our journalists, the FBI and DOJ investigated Donald Trump for HIS Russian collusion

of course, the Steele dossier was just a pack of lies
But it was used at the FISA court to infiltrate with spies 
The Trump campaign, and so began surveillance of Trump Tower 
Many laws were broken in this clear abuse of power 

Many laws were broken 

1000 years from now when US history is studied 
No Russian missile hit New York, not one marine was bloodied 
No, the end of our great nation will no doubt in my mind be 
The lie that Donald Trump paid Russian hookers to go pee 

Russian Hookers Pee

Russian Hookers Pee

It was 3 in the morning and I texted her “HEY” 
And she texted back “Hi, How Are You” right away 
And I texted back “Fine.  I just got home from drinking” 
And she texted “Me too”, her emoji was winking

And I texted back “Miss you” and my emoji was sobbing 
And she texted “Come over?”  with a question mark throbbing 
And I texted back “leaving” with a cartoon man racing 
And she texted back “waiting” with two emojis embracing 

And now I’m driving and texted her a cartoon car cruising 
And she texted back “sleepy “and her emoji was snoozing 
And I texted back a wth - what the hell?  
And she texted ijk, smh, lol! 

I texted her my ETA the time I’m arriving 
Of course, it’s highly illegal  to be texting while driving 
She texted back a picture with her bouncy breasts unhoused 
And I texted back an eggplant meaning “I am aroused” 

And then she texted back a photo of her roommate quite beguiling 
And she texted an emoji of a purple devil smiling 
And then she texted if you hurry maybe 2 could be a 3!  
And I texted back a YOLO and a red OMG!  

And now I’m driving even faster and continuing to text 
You will ROFL when I tell you folks what happened next 
A cop was now behind me his lights flashing red and blue 
And I texted “got pulled over”, she texted back “STFU!”  

He said, license, registration saw you texting, you were speeding 
I said, sorry sir please write the ticket quickly I was pleading 
He said son, if you’ve been drinking you’re about to lose your freedom 
I said sorry sir but TBH I’m heading to a threesome.  

He said step out from the car please and I knew wouldn’t go free
So before I did I texted her a crying face emoji 
And I texted her it looks like I’ll be sleeping in a cell 
She texted back a sad emoji and ttyl .

Text Me

She was on the top thrusting 
And then she stood up and hovered 
Like a water pipe busting
My chest and stomach were covered 

I cried “stop, you’re abusing me” 
She said, “don’t talk you’ll spoil it” 
It was clear she was using me
As her personal toilet  

I thought perhaps she’s incontinent 
Or has some bladder condition 
Our sheets were soaked and yet on it went 
Me on my back in submission

I think for sure that she enjoyed 
Being on top and in power. 
And I’ll admit I was annoyed 
By this sudden golden shower

She 
Liked to pee 
On me 

A fetish that no decent man engages in or otherwise supports 

I 
Don’t know why
I’d comply 

I discovered this perversion has a common name:  they call it “watersports”.  

By Watersports we mean time spent 
Swimming or diving or surfing or skiing 
But I found out that it also meant 
A sexual act which might include peeing 

She’d say “put your raincoat on my love
“the forecast calls for sprinkles” 
Then she’d force me down and from above 
Stood over me and tinkles 

She 
Liked to pee 
On me 

A fetish that no decent man engages in or otherwise supports 

I 
Don’t know why
I’d comply 

I discovered this perversion has a common name:  they call it “watersports”.  

Now I understand that some of you may think this is immoral and a gross abomination 
But have empathy dear friends, for she was way out of my league, and she resembled actress Andie MacDowell 
So the trade off that I made was I could be with her if I would just endure her urination 
And life is just a series of these trade offs after all, Hey  good buddy could you hand me a towel?  

My last night with Andie McDonnell
Is Deep in my memory driven
Even the most beautiful gal 
For this can’t be forgiven

We were in the bed it’s “raining” 
And ’m laying there closing my eyes
She was pushing too hard and with all of the straining 
she made us a chocolate surprise!

She 
Liked to pee 
On me 

A fetish that no decent man engages in or otherwise supports 

I 
Don’t know why
I’d comply 

I discovered this perversion has a common name:  they call it “watersports”.

They Call It "Watersports"

I write story songs.   Many of the stories are true.

Watch my videos!  YouTube:   https://youtube.com/@turtlefrogman?feature=shared

Topics:   Sexual fetishes, reincarnation, sleep apnea, women who don't shave, the story of January 6th 2021, COVID, drug use, pizza place robbery, weddings, divorces and funerals, cannibalism, the story of Joe Biden, transgenderism and pronouns, erectile dysfunction, the World Economic Forum, the story of the USS Indianapolis, time machines, accidents with laxatives, school yard fights, proctologists, teen moms, scientific studies, genital warts, generational divides, national divorce, peeping toms, abortion, petty theft, DIY screws and mental health, suicide etc.