I’m a roofer pounding shingles in the summer heat 
And after work I’m covered head to toe in roofing tar 
And someone says “hey man let’s go and grab a bite to eat” 
There’s a couple ice cold brewskis waiting for us at the bar”

I said, “no, I’d better not. I’ve got to organize my sock drawer” 
“C’mon man come with us it will be a lot of fun!” 
I thought:  Maybe this time I’ll drink less, I’ll eat and laugh and talk more! 
Maybe this time I’ll be happy having only one

I’m never gonna have just one 
And it’s doubtful that I stop at two 
Take it from me
I’ll have a hundred and three 
Before the night is finally through 

Before I go to happy hour  
I tell myself “just have will power” 
But those words are easier said than their done

Yeah, those words are just symbolic 
‘Cause I’m a raging alcoholic 
And I’m never gonna have just one 

We gathered at the bar and bought the crew beers all around 
I sipped mine very slowly, I restrained the urge to chug 
And then I thought I heard the most peculiar sort of sound 
It sounded like a whisper speaking to me from my mug 

“Chug me” it said “chug me” it said “drink me down you need it” 
It said “don’t be such a pussy, you’ve worked all day in the sun” 
If you hear a beer mug talking to you, maybe you should heed it 
And I knew right then that I’d be having more beers than just one. 

I’m never gonna have just one 
And it’s doubtful that I stop at two 
Take it from me
I’ll have a hundred and three 
Before the night is finally through 

Before I go to happy hour  
I tell myself “just have will power” 
But those words are easier said than their done

Yeah, those words are just symbolic 
‘Cause I’m a raging alcoholic 
And I’m never gonna have just one

I chugged that beer and chugged one more and chugged three more right after 
And I thought I heard my empties singing “he’s a jolly good fellow” 
The next thing I remember I heard gasps and shouts and laughter 
“Throw him out he’s had enough” I heard the bar man bellow
Apparently I stood upon on our table with my bone out 
Which, of course, is not acceptable to do for anyone 
And as my face is pummeled by the bouncer and I’m thrown out 
I thought I heard the beer mug whisper, “next time have just one”. 


I’m never gonna have just one 
And it’s doubtful that I stop at two 
Take it from me
I’ll have a hundred and three 
Before the night is finally through 

Before I go to happy hour  
I tell myself “just have will power” 
But those words are easier said than their done

Yeah, those words are just symbolic 
‘Cause I’m a raging alcoholic 
And I’m never gonna have just one

Have Just One

I write story songs.   Many of the stories are true.

Watch my videos!  YouTube:   https://youtube.com/@turtlefrogman?feature=shared

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Have Just One

TurtleFrogMan