It was 3 in the morning and I texted her “HEY” 
And she texted back “Hi, How Are You” right away 
And I texted back “Fine.  I just got home from drinking” 
And she texted “Me too”, her emoji was winking

And I texted back “Miss you” and my emoji was sobbing 
And she texted “Come over?”  with a question mark throbbing 
And I texted back “leaving” with a cartoon man racing 
And she texted back “waiting” with two emojis embracing 

And now I’m driving and texted her a cartoon car cruising 
And she texted back “sleepy “and her emoji was snoozing 
And I texted back a wth - what the hell?  
And she texted ijk, smh, lol! 

I texted her my ETA the time I’m arriving 
Of course, it’s highly illegal  to be texting while driving 
She texted back a picture with her bouncy breasts unhoused 
And I texted back an eggplant meaning “I am aroused” 

And then she texted back a photo of her roommate quite beguiling 
And she texted an emoji of a purple devil smiling 
And then she texted if you hurry maybe 2 could be a 3!  
And I texted back a YOLO and a red OMG!  

And now I’m driving even faster and continuing to text 
You will ROFL when I tell you folks what happened next 
A cop was now behind me his lights flashing red and blue 
And I texted “got pulled over”, she texted back “STFU!”  

He said, license, registration saw you texting, you were speeding 
I said, sorry sir please write the ticket quickly I was pleading 
He said son, if you’ve been drinking you’re about to lose your freedom 
I said sorry sir but TBH I’m heading to a threesome.  

He said step out from the car please and I knew wouldn’t go free
So before I did I texted her a crying face emoji 
And I texted her it looks like I’ll be sleeping in a cell 
She texted back a sad emoji and ttyl .

Text Me

JARV’s lifelong love affair with music has deep roots, sprouting in the ‘70s influenced by six older siblings always spinning tunes.  Festivals have been a crucial part of his fabric since his first taste at Sweetwaters ‘83.  JARV’s sets reflect his broad musical palette, recreating his journey from  the reggae-infused snow and surf of Whanganui via the psychedelic experience of cave living in India and the melting pot that was the exploding dance culture of early ‘90s London. Now based in Tāmaki Makaurau, JARV's experimentation across music’s multiple genres continues to evolve. He knows how to party and how to bring the party.

Bookings -   richardjarvis483@gmail.com

https://www.facebook.com/richard.jarvis.9465/

Photography by : Richard Jarvis & Bruce Jarvis #   
Apart from Lee Scratch Perry & The Ska Photo.

Past Gigs ... 
1998 Red Eye Cafe Gigs
1998 Seans House party with the amazing band from Palmy - Cortina.
!4,8,99 - Roots Bar with Keeping Tadpoles (Whanganui) 
28,8,99 - Fine Arts Hat Ball (Whanganui) 
4,9,99 - Roots Bar - Global Dance (Whanganui)
11,9,99 - Red Eye Cafe - Tranceported  (Whanganui)
17,9,99 - Roots Bar with DJ Melt 
30,10,99 -Roots Bar with The Hasselhoff Experiment.
20,11, 99 -Fine Arts Gig. War Memorial Hall Whanganui
7,9, 2000 Fallout Festival with Nick on the ones & twos  -Sunbeam - (Ohakune)

I write story songs.   Many of the stories are true.

Watch my videos!  YouTube:   https://youtube.com/@turtlefrogman?feature=shared

Topics:   Sexual fetishes, reincarnation, sleep apnea, women who don't shave, the story of January 6th 2021, COVID, drug use, pizza place robbery, weddings, divorces and funerals, cannibalism, the story of Joe Biden, transgenderism and pronouns, erectile dysfunction, the World Economic Forum, the story of the USS Indianapolis, time machines, accidents with laxatives, school yard fights, proctologists, teen moms, scientific studies, genital warts, generational divides, national divorce, peeping toms, abortion, petty theft, DIY screws and mental health, suicide etc.

VIBRATION IS ALL ,
ALL IS VIBRATION ..
https://youtu.be/GAVbHvDF3A8?si=u64N-z2TUBbBtU8q
https://www.youtube.com/@walks.akadannystylusjnr.9346
various musical scratchings . solo or with the occasional friendly guest or three  . Macclesfield . get your ear goggles on !!
I LOVE TO COLLABORATE :-)

AND my favourite self penned songs with THE CHINESE MARBLES  and THE ENERGY NIPPLEZ (on 'here') .. 
i wrote them in various guises , a few bands and some solo ,  .   .
 ALL SONGS AND MUSICAL WANDERINGS ARE WRITTEN BY RJ.WALKER unless it's a cover  or THEY ARE THE RESULT OF COLLABORATION 😎🌟
SITAR and Turkish Saz

Text Me

TurtleFrogMan