There was this lady she was in labor 
I was her friendly next door neighbor 
And the walls were made of paper machete 

I was an unemployed musician 
Lacking love and recognition 
And since I couldn’t get to sleep anyway 

I said, “Maybe I should stay here and wait for your husband.  
If you want someone to drive you I will”

She said, “you’d have to wait forever cause I don’t have a husband 
And could never pay a hospital bill”

My mouth dropped open and gaped 
When she explained, “I was raped” 
And then informed me that her water broke 

It was tragic and sad 
And yet it probably had 
To be the world’s most elaborate joke

So In her apartment I’m standing 
And In pain she cries out demanding 
“take my panties please and lay me out flat” 

All her screaming was very worrying 
And around the apartment was scurrying 
Some cockroaches and a rather large rat

I said, “Can’t you cross your legs and hold it while I fetch a policeman 
I could have kicked myself for asking her that 
Another baby boy was born without the help of policemen 
Just me and the aforementioned rat 

Who picked the afterbirth clean 
Man the things that I’ve seen 
Could make an ambulance attendance choke 

It was an awful sight to see 
And yet it very well may be 
The world’s most elaborate joke 

Have you heard the old joke about the musician 
trying to be the next Bob Dylan

All of his hopes for his future were on that dream pinned 

Then he rescues a damsel In a wretched condition 
who was raped by a dastardly villain 

And this girl sent all of his hopes and dreams Blowin in the wind!  
Get it?  Blowin in the wind!  

And so we took a bus to Tennessee 
Bob Dylan, the neighbor and baby makes three
And we found an inconspicuous town

I’d start a business sometime later 
As a pest exterminator 
I loved putting rats and cockroaches down 

“we don’t believe your story grandpa you must be joking 
You gave up your dream to kill rats in Tennessee?  
I said, “listen to your grandpa kids, old grandpa’s not joking 
The meaning of life is responsibility”

Yes, now big eyed grand children straddle my knee
And ask if grandpa’s only blowing smoke 

The punch line’ll kill ya if you let it 
Whats the matter don’t you get?  
It’s the worlds most elaborate joke

TurtleFrogMan

The World's Most Elaborate Joke

I NEVER USE ANYTHING LIKE SUNO AI.
EVERY SUNDAY UPLOAD THE  LATEST TRACK
Composition and Sampling collage by Synline
Instant theatrical music tweets everyweek. 
”The song that is born today can only be born today.” That's why I keep writing it down in the computer every day like a diary.
Music is a kind of feeling I can not express in words. I will write that feelings with Synthesizers. 
I am glad I can share it with you.

I think, as Ryuichi Sakamoto said, AI should be used not for composing music but for solving global issues such as weather forecasting and population problems.

Composer & Producer.
Always learning.

Thank you for listening!

I write story songs.   Many of the stories are true.

Watch my videos!  YouTube:   https://youtube.com/@turtlefrogman?feature=shared

Topics:   Sexual fetishes, reincarnation, sleep apnea, women who don't shave, the story of January 6th 2021, COVID, drug use, pizza place robbery, weddings, divorces and funerals, cannibalism, the story of Joe Biden, transgenderism and pronouns, erectile dysfunction, the World Economic Forum, the story of the USS Indianapolis, time machines, accidents with laxatives, school yard fights, proctologists, teen moms, scientific studies, genital warts, generational divides, national divorce, peeping toms, abortion, petty theft, DIY screws and mental health, suicide etc.

*Thank you all for your kind support*

Happy 2025

https://songwhip.com/dylon (Apple, Spotify etc.)  Instagram.com/dylanpgarvey_ for Artwork

Caveat: I explicitly prohibit the use of any material I post for purposes of torture, brainwashing, hypnosis, bedazzlement or any other nefarious activity. This prohibition applies to all governments, corporations, institutions, agencies and individuals. 

“The avant garde is dead. That is its triumph. Let it lie.” - Chris Cutler in “Not As We Choose: Music, Memory and Technology”. (Highly recommended!)

“… there is increasingly less call to exercise an already too rare generosity of aesthetic hospitality.” - Chris Cutler

" Music is one of the great Mysteries. It gives life. It is not a career, nor a business, nor a craft. It is a gift... and a great responsibility. Because one can never know where the creative spark comes from or why it exists, it must be treasured as a Mystery. For the most part I believe creativity chooses you, not the other way around." - John Zorn (excerpt from the liner notes to 'Magick')

“Listen as if you were being told a secret” - Federico Fellini

“Experimental and electronic music was once not-so-benignly tolerated at the margins of western art music, but it has over the last decade or so moved toward a central position as something of the soundtrack of our digital culture. Where it once was merely tolerated it is now more engaged and doesn’t have to apologize to anyone”.  - Douglas Kahn 

"Through technology, voices are amplified and silence is broken. Spaces are shared." – Laurie Anderson

"I frequently hear music in the heart of noise." - George Gershwin

"'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds." - 
Malaclypse the Younger in 'Principia Discordia'

“Let us cross a great modern capital with our ears more alert than our eyes and we will get enjoyment from distinguishing the eddying of water, air and gas in metal pipes, the grumbling noises that breathe and pulse with indisputable animility, the palpitation of waves, the coming and going of pistons, the howl of mechanical saws, the jolting of the tram on its rails, the cracking of whips, the flapping of curtains and flags. We enjoy creating mental orchestrations of crashing down of metal shop blinds, slamming doors, the hubbub and shuffle of crowds, the variety of din from the stations, railways, iron foundries, spinning mills, printing works, electric power stations and underground railways.” — Luigi Russolo in 'The Art of Noises' (L'arte dei Rumori)

Urban Dictionary (https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mesmo)
(New Norberian English)

1. lit. in a state of mesmerism, hypnotism; in a trance
2. in a state of bewilderment or confusion, daydreaming; 'out of it'
3. mind bogglingly awesome, spellbinding, captivating

(1) "He swung that watch in front of her face and she got all mesmo"
(2) "When the teacher called me to the board I had just woken up and was still pretty mesmo"
(3) "The new N64 cartridge is totally mesmo, bro”

Banner: The Hearing Trumpet_Leonora Carrington (detail)

i put most of these tracks in the Creative Commons:  in the spirit of Open Collab. . . .and in Surrender to the great Maw of the Matrix.

if you want any of these beats stripped down, get in touch, i might be able to help. . .

Co-Admin of https://soundcloud.com/loopdiggersrecords
95% of my followers never gave me a single like, repost or comment on my tracks. don't be that guy. 😂🙄 if you send me your track unsolicited, get blocked and reported for spam. does not apply to real supporters.
Loop Diggers Crew. highly caffeinated and looking for open collabs! i make music to (try to) keep from going crazy! 
(old) main - https://soundcloud.com/meezerpocalypse