produced by me

This song has nothing to do with the game

Lyrics:
I wanna be your favorite boy and girl, the one you think about
Feel the guilt crawl in my skin and bones whenever you're around
And nothing's worse than you with someone else, you're mine, you're mine, you're mine

I love when you try hard to hurt me then I feel like i'm real
(Its hard to feel that way.. i'd die a lot just trying to feel something)
You bash my head against a rock when I confess what i feel
(I love the headache afterwards.. I love the E.R room with you)

And you know how i feel but you choose to play hard to get
Before you met your guy you were someone i could understand
What did he treat you like for you to turn into a psychopath who loves to watch me cry?

I wanna be the guy.. If he's allowed to fuck up.. then I wanna be the guy
So tell me, what's he like? So tell me, what's he like? I wanna be the guy

i wanna be the guy

Tomorrow when the farm boys find this
freak of nature, they will wrap his body
in newspaper and carry him to the museum.
But tonight he is alive and in the north
field with his mother. It is a perfect
summer evening: the moon rising over
the orchard, the wind in the grass. And
as he stares into the sky, there are
twice as many stars as usual.

Light spills from my broken window through the street brightening up trash bags and cigarettes
She made it so fucking hard to feel like me under my skin, I know how it feels
But you know he doesn't play, I tried and nothing works
And even though we're still at war, we still bleed the same
Roses by the porch when I leave the house
Toxins in the air, Factories nearby

He hurts again but I would never tell
Was I good enough for you? Or good enough for me
I'd say I raised you fine or good enough
The kid's turned out fine

Once a dreamer, not a worker
Skipping in line so I could make it up to you
Someone said I changed but it's not nothing new
Fuse up in my heart it's not comfortable
I've been trying to figure out how to act less cold
Trynna take myself a place that nobody knows
Every passing year man it just feels so old
But the present year's the youngest you'll ever be

I've been trynna tell me myself that I'm not that bad
To enjoy the time I have cause I'll lose it all
I say sorry to the ones that I hate right now
When I die can you please come to my funeral
Wanna look like I did something
I wanna look like I was someone

twikipedia - factory (demo)

first version, recorded on electric acoustic around September 2023 before I got my telecaster.

hurt (demo)

october 2023 album scrap

one of my friends
they make music i guess
it sounds funny but
i think i'll send you a link
so you can hear

i still find it weird
when i hear their name
said by someone i don't know
oh how time flies

i remember the days
when we used to play
all those dumb computer games
how bittersweet

i guess it worked out
seeing by the big number plastered on their page
i hope they're good

i hope i hope i hope
(was i supposed to let go?)
i hope i hope i hope
(or did you just outgrow me?)
i hope i hope i hope
(all of those times we spent i know)
(do you still think about me now?)

you're busy with plans
i don't think we'll ever meet again
i'll keep you on
the back of my mind
and check on your numbers all the time
but we won't talk
again i feel like we could hit it off in current time with ease
i tell my friends about the times we spent even if they were brief

one of my friends (demo)

twikipedia - unreleased 4 (demo)

made this yesterday, facgcd tuning, shitty diy acoustic

red faced, i didn't know that you'd break me like this
build me up, tear me back down this time around
light up fast, hear my name
i'm a match, i can't run from shame, or you stupid games, i still love
i can't turn you on

is it gross to want you to myself?
is it wrong to feel jealous and cheated out of something that we never talked about

i'm used to excuses
i'm not gonna tell you how i feel, i need you to guess
and i'm sorry if you saw me cry
it's a sight to see, it's embarassing
i promise there'll be no more tears coming out of my eyes anymore
can i sleep on your basement floor?

riding on promises, you'll never get what you want
i tried hard, i went sore, somehow you still wanted more

gross (demo)

Lyrics:

so i got used to the feeling
but now you’re so far away 
i know i’m getting it someday
for now let it be known
you found me so unappealing
another bug to squish
another one to fool
another fool to love
and you’re drowsy
im roadkill
i stare as you get closer
i envy your poster esque life
and i’d love to be a deer in your headlights

running far from me
free and selfishly
never looking back

for the rest of your life

windchimes

Lyrics:

I see you get home drunk sometimes
I watched you fight and break a rib
You always yell when you're alone
I watched you lose all of your friends
You try to sit me and tell me what you do and don't regret
There's something you teach me every time
But something you never learn yourself
(I tried to be person, i tried to be somebody else)
(I put on a shirt that won't fit..)
And it hurts but it can't be figured out
(I'll try one more time)
(And leave knowing you'd die for me)
(He has some love) But when i fuck up he counts me out

I'm drawing out the plan
I'm gonna fix you with gasoline
I'm gonna burn what you really love

Open baskets
Fire on cans and dying maggots
I hear the fire crackle loudly
I burnt the house now I'm surrounded
If you're gonna kill me then do it loudly
I see myself in an open casket
I can't turn out like you wanted, sorry
A part of me wants to let you have it
I can't feel bad cause..

There's something you teach me every time
But something you never learn yourself
(I tried to be a person, i tried to be somebody else)
(I put on a shirt that won't fit..)
And it hurts but it can't be figured out
(I'll try one more time)
(And leave knowing you'd die for me)
(He has some love) But when i fuck up he counts me out

learn yourself

lyrics:

i’ve been so harsh these days
im chained to something that i had before

boy
im not taking a chance
cause i don’t wanna know
and just because i knew i had to take a choice
doesn’t mean that i can
you turned me into two
i can’t run back to you

i can’t flip the page i tried but it won’t budge
so stuck up about it i don’t think i’ll ever learn
i don’t wanna turn into what i hate the most
and im so sick of the change
we’ve been so harsh these days
and i can’t seem to tell you why 
i’ve been getting more distant
the paper yellows, time goes by
it makes me sick to think
you never even gave it thought
so tell me something that i know im not

boy
im not taking a chance
cause i don’t wanna know, know
and just because i had a choice
it doesn’t make it much more obvious
it’s not easy like you make it seem
not as simple as just you and me

why can’t you be my boy?
i did it all for you
and ive planned so many things
so much i meant to do
and i’ve been feeling so afraid
but you don’t even wanna know
boy you don’t even wanna know

if i ran back to your loaded gun
and i spent one day under your wing
doing whatever i wanna do
staying wherever i need to be

boy
throw away my one chance
i was looking at you
noise
i don’t even get words
you split me in two
it all went sideways
when i got everyone figured out
stepping all over us, in your garbage after throwing it out
it’s for the weak
so i guess that means you did it for me..?
so i guess that means you did it for me..?
so i guess that means you did it for her

https://soundcloud.com/csdgreatness/twikipedia-iflas-snippet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rgVhpvnfmk

twikipedia - think fast (unreleased, leaked, by @freightrains on yt)

Vaughn's live version of There is no one like Lenya.  Drums: Zoltán Bordás, Bass: Árpád Vajdovich, recorded by Dávid Tamás Pap at Lumen.