Related tracks: Berdly vs Brian Griffin - Rap Cypher #18

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CREDITS: 
Written By: Eric The Audible, Mason G.
Mixed By: Nathan Provost
Art By: Matthew Thomas
Production By: MTC Beatz

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CAST:
Fightmarker - Alex Jones
Eric The Audible - Carl Azuz
Intern - Nathan Provost

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Alex Jones (0:10)
They’re coming after me - the establishment 
So tell me whose this satanist im rap battlin’
CNN? I ain’t afraid of you liars
Cause in this “mostly peaceful” rap all my rhymes will be fire!

Carl Azuz (0:21)
Judging by the awfully biased hatred you spew, 
You're the age of information gone straight down the tube, 
So I get why Google and Twitter would have you removed 
Now I’ll strike you down too, like I’m Carl A-Zeus

Sources say your info’s fictional - we’ll see it again
We keep the news legit - CNN 10/10
And like his legal team, Jones is always on the defense
We’ll clarify for your audience: y’all these shots ain’t pretend

Conning old men about fake “info wars”
But when it comes to conmen you’re the intro course
I’d say keep it calm man, when you misinform
But you get hopping mad over frog intercourse

Alex Jones (0:52)
You deny it’s the deep state who’s feeding ya
But I’ve survived smears from the fake news media
I’m standing right here, collect and kill me with the patriots!
You waste class time, but my freedom? you ain’t taking it

This just in folks, got brand new info
That Carl Hackzus is in the sex-with-pigs cult
He cuts their entrails, (yuck) snips the ends off 
Then goes to a Chinese Palace where him and his friends talk

They take the blood of goblins, mixed with carbonic acid
Sip it with the Clintons and rich people with Iraqi accents
They chat about eradicating the lower classes 
And cash in on aborted fetuses to buy Masonic assets!

(WOOF) On your trail - wolf blood - I’m the alpha male 
Strike with a mic and a rifle, you will not prevail
I’m going viral, want the cure for the best offer go
To infowars.com and order 4 quarts of testosterone 

Like the CDC on this beat, grab your mask please
You couldn’t control me with a million vaccines
If I'm the mad dog you say, I'd rather stay deranged
Than submit to clark kent who's been hit with beta rays

Carl Azuz:
I’d spend our last segment going through that rap wreckage 
But kids can see through your conspiracy: that’s fact - check it 
I’m just a humble journalist, so I should give you props
For being the first English news outlet posted by Russian bots

I mean you’re going viral all right, and your fans stay loyal
You gave them COVID-19 and then your snake oil
But shoutout to Central High School, I’ve been Carl Azuz
This is CNN 10 - sorry for the old news!

Central Rap Battles: Alex Jones vs. Carl Azuz

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of FRB vs Anything, which pits rap battle community members against well...anything. SURPRISE BIRTHDAY BATTLE BABY! Today we see popular rap battle original character infamous for his kinning, Kin Kid go up against the Ultimate Imposter from Danganronpa. Both like to pay respects to others by dressing up as them, but who spits rhymes better among those two?

Kin Kid:
Hi my name is Kin Kid, it’s nice to meet you
The child of Rabi has got the rhymes to beat you
Instantly loved from the first battle that I’m seen on
The only love you’ve ever gotten you denied from Mikan
I could never kin you, that would be a travesty 
And even if I did, I would just lack personality
Who’s better with disguises? The viewers should choose me
Cause I got cosplays that rival Tsumugi’s 
Makes sense to call you a fraud after all the things you did
Born without family, I guess that makes you Kin-less Kid
There’s no competition, we’re just not the same
When I got more screen time than you in the main game

Ultimate Imposter:
That’s enough out of you, I have no time for your antics
Your verse is something even Kazuichi can’t fix 
I should educate you on the skills of debate
Cause you’ve embarrassed yourself straight out of the gate
Let me recap, Eddie found you by searching online for a loser nerd
And you think your personality aligns with pretty much any person, that’s simply absurd
My rhymes are like your origin, found in stock, while your rhymes come off as faulty
Been through tragedies and I’ve still never seen an atrocity as bad as your costume of Baldi

Kin Kid:
You turned the Reddit mod guy into Big Chungus?
I’ve seen a better imposter right out of Among Us!
Okay I’m sorry I just do a bit of trolling
But if I give you a push, you’ll do a bit of rolling 
Kin Kid’s a cool calculating killer who’s got plenty of cold cuts
And I don’t mean meat with a skewer that Teruteru used to stab your guts
Played it cool on the island but you had no plans of escape
So called “bright” guy got foiled by a piece of glowing tape
Turn into Mitarai again, this battle still won’t be a draw
But to be fair, you faking him didn’t protect him at all
It doesn’t surprise me your character met a quick end
When it’s clear you’d rather gain more calories than friends
But turns out everyone was fake, so why should I care?
Cause now you and your series are Remnants of Despair 

Ultimate Imposter:
Making fat jokes are we? I’d expect nothing less 
From a kid making cheap cosplays, claiming he’s the best
I’m sharp with a blade like my name was Munakata
So now I’ll leave you like Gridline did, slashed up
Speaking of which, let’s talk how you’re used
Your use in some battles just leaves me confused
When I step on the scene, opponents are filled with dread
While you’re only scary when Benny’s on your head
You're full of crap like your name is Nekomaru
In any form of battle, I will easily scar you
Let me restate that my disguises trick folks
While your costumes will always be a joke
Much like your appearance as This Man, I’d consider this battle a Troll Fail
You will never be able to atone for your sins starting off kinning Sans from Undertale

Among Us Imposter:
I’m sorry to interrupt but there’s something I have to say
The true faker Among Us is as clear as day
I’m a killer on the mic and a killer of the lights
I leave crewmates dead, do you really wanna fight?

Kin Kid: Shimario
Ultimate Imposter: RNG
Among Us Imposter: Cri

Written by: JustGamer
Extra help by: RNG, MetaMachine and Snakebite126
Mixed by: Zagranis
Beat by: Dansonn
Cover art by: Shimario

Kin Kid vs. Ultimate Imposter - FRB vs. Anything

Video Release => https://youtu.be/RLonxwT9ky8

RaccoonBroVA as Spongebob Squarepants
Snakebite126 as Annoying Orange 

Additional Writing by Matthew Thomas, King Wallace, Triple Stabber & ForgottenSons
Prod. by Anywaywell
Mixed by Zagranis
Art by KCToons
Coverart by Oofie

Lyrics :
Spongebob (0:10)
Got my spatula in hand to deal with this bold orange
Cause I’m ready, I’m ready to put you back into cold storage
Been foraging fun for ages, with humour from my producers
While your forging slasher films just to help appeal your viewers 
Fired up like the stove cause Krabby Patties are what I’m making
But bringing up your simple show makes your dead fanbase reawaken
Channel’s mostly babble, you’ll be unraveled in this battle
So I’ll leave this Happy Appy sappy with a stick up your little apple
Caught up on the latest trends despite living under Patrick’s rock
And still lived up to your name sake by being worse than Crazy Frog
But why’d you ride the track like your creator on the token train?
Seeing my boss is less desperate to rolling in the dough than Dane

Orange (0:42)
Ahoy Spongeboy, see you're leaving friends to battle toys
Though you're right bout being fired, I’m leaving this spongee unemployed
Trying to survive in the sea while I strive on vitamin C
As you can see even M&M failed to best me on the beat
Rhymes so sketchy like they were written by your doodle duplicate
Even Patrick’s a bigger star and yet he’s too dull to pull his weight
It’s like your rapping in the dark, the shots fired to leave me red missed
So get this, my boss wouldn’t ghost some kids with groceries as a threat list
Got your boating license revoked, but you’ll still float if you dare rhyme
It’s like you got blown out of the water, all you do is choke on airtime
Radiating fun for kids on Nick, but that’s simply speculation
So think out the box on how to win this, it’s in your imagination

Spongebob (1:14)
Even Pear couldn’t bear your antics, time to fend off this contender
You only spit seeds for Passion so send ya straight into the blender
Spewing tunes like Huey Lewis, busting moves just to crush this
No amount of fresh comedy could do this orange justice

Orange (1:25)
My flows blow like TnT to wash down this guilty nuisance
That’s selling out his franchise despite only being worth 62 cents
So makes sense your drying out after your creator went farewell
Cause now you’re just Nick's Cash Cow - Bikini Bottom of the Barrel

Spongebob (1:35)
If I wanted something sour, I let the lemon with the dentures rhyme
Come from CN, but your not taking this like Adventure Time
Just to be clear, you’re not one to mock my career cause it appears
Since that premier you’ve been recycling the same recipe for years
Like fart jokes, innuendo, food puns galore
And faces to traumatize your kids, man what a chore
Your taste only suits your pupil’s while I’ve gotten a taste of fame, though
Having characters so fruity won’t make me wanna taste the Dane Boe

Orange (1:57)
It’s a breeze to seize this cheese, grate to know you can’t go further
Serving others when your bars contains more filler than your burger
Your cartoon is a classic, yes and you’re really funny, Bob
But do I think you’ll win this? Nyanyanya-NOT!
This goober thinks he’s special when we collab in parodies
I’m slicing titans that make their way to me, A O T
I’d pull the plug to your show, but your flow already proved you’re flushed
So I’ll slice your life like a knife and file you in my list of supercuts’

Spongebob Squarepants vs Annoying Orange. 50-50 Rap Battle!

Swoldow as Herobrine
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCEC...

Ennway as MissingNo
https://www.youtube.com/c/ENNWAY

Written by Psytube
Audio Mixed by Xhack
Video Edited by Psytube
Beat by Dansonn

Herobrine:
Did I come out of hiding to fight some Porygon after a car crash?
It’s not surprising that your own franchise turned you into a big question mark fast
I’m haunting the forest, you’re just haunting about 40 pixels alongside a shore
Man I’m always around, you showed up in one gen and now you’re more static than you were before
Always in the back of the player’s mind, you’re a tool to help out with the player’s grind
Just make your mind up, do you wanna spread dread in the fanbase or just duplicate some items?
You’re a nameless icon? I’m the best selling name in the best selling game so don’t try it
Cause after hearing your hall of fame sequence, I think you'd be better off staying silent

Missingno:
Steve but Evil thinking he’s the best is a bold claim
He’s retexturing paintings, I’m retexturing whole games
So if pestering’s your sole aim then keep sneaking silently
But if you ever want actual terror just feast your eyes on (glitch) wait
I’m trying to shake up some trainers so yeah I'm freaky when I make sound
But I’m pretty sure that that's way better than some fake murmurs on a playground
Well at least I can say that you’ve soared to absurd heights, but you’re starting a war with a bird type
So this pair of shears is gonna perish here, I mean I’m made of code so you know that I got that line game down
Might be a jumble of muddled up data but your spiel’s still hurting me (glitch)
You’re the corniest hoax, but I guess it makes sense that your pasta got served with cheese (glitch)
And taking one look at this ghost brother, I don’t even need a Silph Scope just to
See that all you are is a stalker, I guess that’s why so many kids have your phone number

Herobrine:
I’m not threatened when this 2nd placeholder’s coming through
Couldn’t take this Satan spawn if you were shaped like a W (nope)
Got tons of forums all begging to see me, everyone’s dog has you locked in its PC
Both of us mess up our games pretty deeply, but last time I checked you can’t just release me
Cause I’m sneaky, and my deeds top any trick that this glitch can muster (yeah)
Can’t even count the amount of people talking ‘bout me, how’s THAT for a Missing Number?
You’re a drop in the sea of the glitches in your game, dropped into the shallows next to Cinnabar’s gym
You couldn’t beat me in fear factor or fame, go away and terrorise your dried out cartridge 

Missingno:
Take one look at me and the whole region is broken
One screenshot of you turned 4Chan into Copeland
So when you spot the next poor player that stumbles onto your cursed seed
Tell them to go speak to that Old Man the day they turn 13

Missingno Vs Herobrine - Psytube Rap Battles Bonus

Soldier : Matt Raichous
Sarge : RaccoonBroBA

Beat : http://www.shadowville.com/audio//Shadowville.com%20-%20Southern%20Dudes.mp3
Beat Prod by : Slantize
Written by Kamren, Creep Switch and MetaMachine
Mixed by : Oofie

RAP BATTLE

SOLDIER
VS
SARGE

BEGIN!

Soldier :
Stand at attention maggot! Let this Soldier show you how it's done
When I take on your entire squadron one by one
If Church wanted you to live, God would not have created me
So when I drop you dead with this beat, a deadbeat will give me infinity!
You're one third of who I am, repping the U.S of A
Like a true american, I'll dominate this space race
What's the point of the mask, Chief? Come at me face to face
So I can see you begging for your life, give you a Halo update
Can't take down my Meta game when you could never reach my heights
Know when I’m through, you and Lopez can join the heads that I piked!
You fought a nonexistent war, I’ve brawled BLU for over a decade
What did you expect facing me? Mercenaries leave sim troops played!


Sarge :
I know you wanted war but we sure that verse ain't your first draft?
Must've pulled the pins off your grenades to blow up a track that fast
I'd go back to your past, but your actions leave me more confused
Backstabbed his best friend just to sing his sad blues?
Doe's nuts! More so than Donut, did Medic have you overdosed?
Maybe hire Tex to take your heavy gal off your payload
You've brought shame upon your honor with medals of lost lives
Your expiration date is always a good day to die!

Soldier :
Like when your series dropped to Zero? Better watch your blinded preaches
A sentence from Sun Tzu topples all three of your lame ass speeches
Boys, we have a hypocrite! Let’s look at your recent seasons
From what I've seen in fifteen, I’ll charge a false Sergeant for treason!
Be happy I brought my shovel, now you can have another funeral
Denying the threat in front of you just proves that you’re delusional!
‘Cuz if this were a real battle, I’d just have to call up Boomstick
So I can off his father more embarrassingly than Caboose did

Sarge : 
Come on, was that it? My men left me more impressed
Forget O'Malley and bread tumors, I'm the one who infects!
Why don't you take your bazooka and launch yourself outta this battle
I'd side with Blue sooner before listen to your nonexistent babble
When my time comes, eulogies from my men put me to rest
When on your deathbed, you'd waste your time to teleport bread?
But seeing your market value, I guess it's clear you're desperate to gain dough
I'm running tracks on my roadhog, 'bout to leave a road-killed Jane Doe!
Brilliant with passwords, your fortress is outdated, it seems
So many hackers in your servers all your game modes' Mann vs Machines!
I'm the engineer 'round these parts, so don't take this too hard
Knocked you off your hightower, you just got Sarged!

Soldier and Sarge :
I’d rather recruit a Blue than this Full Mental Ratchet!
Seeing me as superior is something that should be a habit!
You’re a disgrace to uniform anyway, you hack it!
I beat this disgusting, pathetic, smelly maggot!

The Soldier vs Sarge (Red vs Blue) - Rap Battle! (ft. Matt Raichous & RaccoonBroVA)

Hi it's our 2 year anniversary wooooo. lyrics will be posted after video drops. 
King Mewtwo as Alan Moore (audio)
AlaskanSam as Charles Dickens (audio)
AdamSandlerDRB as Alan Moore (video)
Cri as Charles Dickens (video)

Alan Moore vs. Charles Dickens - Discord Rap Battles (Early Audio)

JustGamer as Toru Iwatani 
RaccoonBroVA as Alexey Pajitnov 
RNG as the Announcer

Written by Oofie, RNG, MaviKartal2003, Dilly, KCToons, Pixel Chris, and Chandler_CCRB
Additional writing help by: Shimario
Mixed and mastered by Oofie	
Beat produced by Anywaywell
Beat edited and re-arranged by Oofie
Tetris theme re-created by Evrywunzf8vrite
Pac-Man instruments by Oofie
Demo by Oofie
Cover art by Oofie
Produced by Oofie
Special thanks to Freshy Kanal, GlitchDude, and Snakebite126

Toru Iwatani 
Press start in a fight with Toru? I assure you, I made the scene
If you wanna give your 2 cents, slot them into my game machine
Trying to run tracks through writing, as if you're some Ridge Racer
But now you’re being written on, like it’s your parents’ divorce papers
Got launched from the Soviets, just another cash grab block game
Yet you lost the top Notch status with Mojang’s mojo drop, dang!
I've turned pizza to pie charts, while Ls you're known to drop 
Mounting this brawl will leave you a loss, along with your son off

Alexey Pajitnov 
Think you're gaming’s OG? I set the revolutionary high bars
You and I aren’t even close to each other, just like your eyes are
The wacka-wacka-wack raps you spat are just hard to swallow
With your ghoul fellows, it's no surprise you're see-through and hollow
Even my pieces aren’t as blocky as the CG in your show is, man
You got that inky blinky pengame, sounds like it was ghostwritten
Though gotta hand it to you for the most-slotted game, it's a true fact
But you'll flip birds when even your own creation wouldn't even love you back!

Toru Iwatani 
Break off your blocks like it’s Gee Bee, leave you more green than the GB 
From arcade machines to your TV. When it comes to gaming, I’m beastly!
You can’t compare to my legacy, spawned countless crowds, looked upon me
Spilling the T more than your parity, patching you off like your home country!
I’m blasting off like the cathedral; you'll see, Pajitnov, we’re not equals
I gotta Hatris off, your work’s lethal; with your tactless thoughts like Pokhilko
The Iwatani from the Atari; your recent games have been no fun
I’ve got 99 problems with Tetris but this bitch ain’t one!

Alexey Pajitnov 
I'll turn the page like your textbooks, now who are you trying to fool?
Dropped out of Namco to teach, yet couldn't drop lines to get me schooled
You've appealed to the female crowd, but nothing is worth to boast it
When a flick based on your Pixels leaves all the theatre rooms ghosted!
Get on my level, dude! 256 bars is not needed for me to crash you
This will be your second failed Ghost Adventure you cannot pass through!
Easily got your boat rocked; while myself have my champion ship docked
As you’ve received ass kickings I Packed, man, from Russia with love! (Ugh)

Alexey Pajitnov vs Toru Iwatani - Rap Clash!

Audio for the upcoming Celebrity Rap Battle, MatPat vs Bill Nye. Battle of the edutainers.

Snakebite as MatPat
Seth as Bill Nye
Written by: Chandler and WAN
Beat: http://kustombeats.com/uploads/music/573dbe16b65ee.mp3 
Cover Art By: WAN
Mixed By: Jort
Flow Test by: WAN

LYRICS:

[Bill Nye]
Did you know, science appears everywhere we go?
Which makes it my job to make sure education grows
Cause I’m a Science Explainer and Child Entertainer
Faced against the guy who somehow made geek culture lamer
I’m building a better future to spend tomorrow in
Your theories only make me question what pills you’re poppin
So take a seat on your couch, in tears you’ll soon be wallowing
When I have MatPat, Consider the Following;
If you wanna avoid hate, fill your videos with wit in it
Should you react to critics live? NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT
Even looking at your thumbnails give my eyes detriment
Haven’t seen this much green saving the environment
My creation of the tube helped set Boeing planes in motion, 
Your creations on the tube created Twitter thread commotions
I already predict that you don’t have smarts to diss
So why don’t you start your verse and prove my hypothesis 

[MatPat]
Hello internet, welcome to another episode
Geek culture’s edutainment show with that tangential learning flow
Giving Nye the Normal Boot, so, Did You Know?
It’s been over 20 years since people cared about your show
When a battle features me, you’ll get Screwed when I Attack
Make you fall harder than an assassin in a haystack
Yeah, you’re an inspiration but it’s hard to give you credit 
When you treat your fans like crap, at least that’s how I Reddit.
So lighten up, get that Deku stick out your ass
It’s not your fault you’re overshadowed by Neil DeGrass
With just a clap and a half I’m already beating ya
You debate creationists while I Defined Media

[Bill Nye]
Ooh, really wanna bring up Defy? Against Nye?
Please remind me, who’s behind the multi-million dollar lie?
In terms of scummy ‘tubers you’re another addition
At least when I blow up from soda it’s not a coke addiction
When it comes to our deduction, mine is much better than
This guy who can’t differentiate a kid and skeleton
While ignoring Oliver for some Indie game lore
Never before has a boy wanted more

[MatPat]
Your lines are less accurate than my predictions on films
Here’s the second time I’ve had to deal with useless Bullet’s, Bill
You’re about to get whipped, nay crushed by my skill
The end is nye, science guy, I won’t tax over this bill
You used to spit facts, now you’re lacking affirmation
Cause your prime has passed, like your NASA application
Who’s the one teaching psychopathy? It’s-a-me!
You teach plants and chemistry, but can’t grow your family tree.

[Bill Nye]
Says video games don’t cause violence but I have to disagree 
Based on the way your fans reacted to your undertale theory
I’m here to save the world with an outfit so slick
While you spend time in the closet measuring Luigi’s dick

[MatPat]
Bill says he’s here to save the world, which I find interesting
Cause his life has been digressing with political side-questing
Had a Netflix show I guess, it’s just a sex-filled mess
And let’s be honest, his first show was pretty P-BS
So what’s Bill’s REAL desire at the end of the day?
Jumping from failed standup to some pointless debates
THAT’S RIGHT, Bill’s tryna play the industry like its a game
In a desperate attempt to claim fame! BUT HEY!

MatPat vs Bill Nye -WCRB

Chao as Red Bull
ENNWAY as Monster Energy
Dilly as G-Fuel
Zagranis as Bang Energy (cameo)

Beat, mix, thumbnail by ENNWAY
Written by ENNWAY and Dilly

Red Bull:
Red Bull gives you wiiiiings

Monster Energy:
SHUT THE FUCK UP WHO CARES
FUCK OFF GOD I AM TIRED OF YOU TOUCH GRASS

Red Bull:
That's it! This drink's about to fire shots off
12 ounces and I still blow you out the water!
When I rock the mic, I'm liked by every damn critic
You're enjoyed by any boomer with a penny to split with
So fuck wings! How 'bout you get some bitches? (HUH)
Every flavor that you have is always mid shit (HUH)
Yeah, I don't need any fancy artists or design
To put the picture in your head I'm winning every single time

Monster Energy:
Bout to drop a mad verse on this lame ass
(AY AY) WHEN IT COMES TO BEATS I'M THE APEX
AND I'M PRACTICALLY A FUCKIN’ MONOPOLY, COULDN'T YOU SEE?
LOVIN' THESE BEATS, MY BRAND IS A MONEY MACHINE (AYYY)
TALKING BOOMERS WHEN YOU'RE LITERALLY THE BOOMER OF OUR BRANDS
SO GO CATCH SOME BETTER ADS OR YOU'RE CATCHIN' UP THESE HANDS
YOU GOT ZERO FUCKING CASH, 'CAUSE THIS CAN IS MADDER
YOU SHOULD LEAVE THIS BATTLE 'CAUSE I'M CRANKING OUT THAT BANGER AFTER BANGER

Bang Energy:
Did somebody say bang?

Monster Energy:
I BANGED YOUR MOM *SHOOTS BANG ENERGY*

Red Bull:
That verse was a good tip on how your offbrands left the market
Saturated with zero spots left to get some thought in so stop it
You claim a monopoly but you're not bitch, I see through ya
Left our market overblown like COCA COLA ESPUMA
You missed the mark like your Ultra Gold and Java
You've had no legs to stand on since you sold juice products!
This brand bully's bout to land fully in a ditch
I'm soaring high above you... Red Bull gives you wiiiii-

Monster Energy:
BITCH SHUT THE HELL UP, GOD, I'M TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT SO
I'LL KICK YOUR ASS FASTER THAN I BOOTED BANG OUT OF BRITAIN
YOU SAY YOU GOT PEOPLE HOOKED ON THAT FUCKING GASOLINE BRO?
I'LL LEAVE YOUR STYLE AND BRAND CRUSHED LIKE A CAN ON THE ROAD
I GOT THE STAMINA, (YUH) LYRIC SLAMMIN' YA (YUH)
YOU'VE BEEN BELOW ME SINCE THE DAYS OF HANSEN NATURAL!
I'M DONE WITH THIS VERSE AND THIS ASS IS DEFEATED
HERE'S MY NEW FLAVOR: YOU CAN SUCK MY ULTRA PENIS

G-Fuel:
G-Fuel is entering the party now to shake it up
Against the two blandest of flavors, I just cannot make it up
So I suggest you brace yourselves, I'm going for the throat
And droppin a variety pack of bars cause I'm the goat
I went from online to making the stores mine
How you offer sweepstakes but not fire in your lines?
You prove it with every rhyme, you can't mix it up like I do
… That also goes for your buddy on the side too
When I start a partnership I crank it to 11
You start up a partnership to shill in Ninja Tyler Blevins
Now I'm sending y'all to heaven, you weak drinks can eat my dust
Turned you both to powder, I guess that makes three of us

Monster Energy vs Red Bull. R∆P BATTLE!

"I'll only be in FRB vs Anything if you make me vs God"
- That one guy who wrote "I'M MISTER KING DIIIIICEEEE"

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of FRB vs Anything, which pits rap battle community members against well...anything. In celebration of the holidays, we have the father of the modern FRB community Freshy "Dustin" Kanal rap battling father of the modern universe which is also the normal universe, God. 

God - Fightmarker
Freshy Kanal - Dustin
Written by - Freshy Kanal, JustGamer
Beat by - Epistra
Mixed & Arranged by - Freshy Kanal (Dustin)
Cover art by God himself wow

God verse 1:
Coming down from the heavens to teach this mortal a lesson 
In the booth against me you’re better off saying a confession 
If I wanted to fight a clone I’d rage against the first humans I made
You’re all 7 deadly sins combined, allow me to explain
(cough) (that’s better)
Selling out for views, lusting to see people lose, such a glutton for more slaves
Yet you’re a sloth for work, envious of Eddie, anger causing you to misbehave
The pride you present is painful, an ego the size and height to reach the skies
Couldn’t find a battle of yours without filler lines even with my all-seeing eyes 
You’re an imbecile, fool (yeah!) God’s taking you straight to school (yeah!)
And then send you down to Hell for trying to break all of my rules (yeah!)
I’m all powerful while you can’t do shit without Benny or Fel writing
You and your channel have both hit their peak, now you’re both dying

Freshy Kanal verse 1:
Where’s the god fanbase at tho, can I even lose
I’d make a battle with you but you wouldn’t get me views
You're the reason behind constant anger and violence
I'm the reason behind Kustom’s Anger and violins
You can’t say shit when I’m the one who doubled everything that you did first
You’re the ruler of one world, bitch I own a cinematic universe
And since the past has moved our earth away from your religion meth heads
I’ve seen a better version of Morgan Freeman in the kominsky method
6 days in the week I write my script in a cycle and shrivel my rivals
On day 7 I spread my legs and shit on the bible
The church sent me a letter for taxes, but I’m a simple thinker
I sent the letter back with a drawing of my middle finger

God verse 2:
Run away from my religion? I’ll spark up flames with a lightning strike
Or are you more scared of strikes related to copyright?
This German prick will learn that I’m sick, when I spit a diss, I’m hitting 
Your time would better be spent explaining to kids mixing commissions 
Invoke my wrath inside in a rap but you should know that you won’t last
(That bar means that I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS)
Bitches know I got that hot flow
God just cannot be stopped bro
Pull out the 9 with these shots yo
Got fire lines you can’t top those
You like Donkey Kong cause you’re ape brain
God’s next patch: take you off the mainframe 
This battle shall mark your last offense
Don’t ever fucking diss God again!

Freshy Kanal verse 2:
I bring quotes around the world, in 20 years they’ll spit my venom
You riddled the world with cringey phrases like “good heavens”
I ain’t fuckin with them homophobes, so I’mma poke your nose
I can use all of my chromosomes to punch your bible comatose
I interpret history by recrafting the past
You make wars for hatred, I make battles for laughs
I got a voice acting role open if you need a job offer
I know you made me but I still fucked your mother, call me the godfather

Freshy Kanal vs. God - FRB vs. Anything

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Jofinity as Berdly
AlaskanSam as Brian Griffin
Beat produced by Epistra
Written by Trakked
Mixed by Oofie
Thumbnail by SPM
Art by Trakked

Battle:

Berdly: 
You must be jealous in my presence and my neverending glory
The closest you’ll get to an “A” is your D-tier stories!
But I get it, you’re pathetic and that’s why you want to lose to me
No matter! I’ll have you subtracted and I’ll do it beautifully!
Attempted to attend Brown, then you got kicked out 
So now you’re down, trudging about in the Griffin house
I take one look at your life, and it’s not really pleasant 
At this point, it’s clear that not all dogs go to Heaven
Drinking.. smoking… suicidal cheapskate
Leave me.. broken?.. I got a clean slate
Series.. sloping.. far from success
While not even martinis could make this suck-up suck less

Brian:
Am I pitted against Twitter? I mean, this isn’t a fair fight
Just another dumbass tryna get me off the air, right?
You’re just a cheesy dweeb that dreams to appease his Queen
But even she leaves when this meme schemes into the scene

Berdly:
Jeez, got no bark or bite when push comes to shove
I guess the car that hit you’s Faster Than the Speed of Love!
Think that you get deep? How do you get sleep?
Can’t act for crap, so how’s your son doing, you deadbeat?
Not Adult Swimming anymore, you’re in the kid’s end
I bet the only thing this loser plays is women!
You’ll never amount to my intellect with your actions
Just a distant Number 3 when my Halbird leaves you in fractions!

Brian:
Who are you to talk about bad writing?
You Delta-Ruined your storyline and relationships
I wouldn’t be surprised that whenever this fad’s fighting
He’d just give me a dump of information, bitch
My personal accomplishments will blow you out the water
I ran for mayor and I’m a bestselling author
You barely won a spelling bee because your friend felt bad for you
And now you’re screwed, because you became an ass with that attitude

Berdly:
Dog wishes he could bone the wife of the guy that owns him
You’ll always be alone, I’ll get Noelle to leave you frozen
You may try to psyche me out, but I know your life’s a tragedy
For I have something that you’ll never have!! A LOVING FAMILY!

Brian:
Whose leg I gotta hump to get a good verse?
Can’t come to terms that you’re a failure because the truth hurts
You wanna create a Smartopia for you and your friend,
But that plan went down the drain when your “dream” came to an end
Take a toke of Smart Smoke and maybe learn to write too
You go down so easy, even a baby could fight you
You claim to calculate your moves, but there’s not any evidence
Call this Snowgrave, and there won’t be a statue of remembrance 
You’re under that facade of using percents of your power,
Maybe I’d believe you if you’ve ever even showered
Couldn’t ring a bell with Noelle, got nothing to reign over
This gamer’s lost once again, another Game’s Over

Berdly vs Brian Griffin - Rap Cypher #18

No, not Dream SMP.

Trakked as This Man
SimplyRazzy as Grey Man
Beat produced by Ear2ThaBeat
Written by Trakked, DCA, Nooby and 01Tyler10
Additional help by JenniNoMRC and M&Mattie
Chiseled by Jofinity and Danii
Mixed by ENNWAY
Special effects added in by Trakked
Thumbnail by Rabi
Art by 01Tyler10

Battle:

This Man: 
Hello, Grey Man. I suggest you stop treading 
There’s no good ending wherever you’re heading
Been here since ‘06, I’m a legend on the net
You’re a relic on consoles that they all seem to forget
Ever Dream of me? Let’s go behind the scenes
And see a cracked mind, broken by LSD
I'm seen by thousands on a day-to-day basis
You only show up to one; no wonder you're faceless
It's a dream imitation. We’ve no relation
You’re a basic emulator only sold on Playstation.
I’ve no containment, while you’re stuck in bad trips
I’m ancient, this cartridge’s getting sent back to the attic
I'm a worldwide phenomenon, you're stuck in Japan
Got a half-assed game and you're half of a man
So what does that make you? Is this a breakthrough?
They think you're a rapist, they don't want to face you 

Grey Man:
Was that a Downer verse? It didn’t hurt me.
Doesn’t take a therapist to know your verse was murky
You claim to be a cog in a clockwork machine,
But realize you’re part of a marketing scheme
I spit cyphers like Diphen, prepare for a mindfuck
I shine bright like fire so best keep your eyes shut
You rip open animals, blame it on children,
Bring him to madness and claim I'm the villain?
Run backwards, but I’m always here to watch ya
Tearing your memories while I gobble creepypasta
Peeping Tom’s already gone, and his story’s dismembered
But your shitty manga? I don’t want to remember.
This district’s so violent, I’ll leave you in silence 
While my game is timeless, You’ve lost your prime, kid 
The people who’ve dreamed of me, only wish they were sober 
So when you see my presence, know that it's all over.

This Man:
Appear all you want; I'd rather block you from my mind
Bombed hard on the track; call you Spy vs Spy
Looking at your script, your coding could use a rewrite
I got an A+ verse, yours was more of a B-type
I give people happy feelings, you give doses of despair
But a year of your game? That’s a neverending nightmare  
You've already lost, so drop the facade
You claim you're a demon? Then bow to your god.

Grey Man:
The dreamscape is mine to command; I’m confining This Man
And I’ll grind you to strands, you’ll find that you’re damned
So why do you try? You’re so black and white,
I’m spitting bright rainbows, a psychedelic sight
I’m a subconscious monster, you’re more of a myth
This mortal is stuck in a moral abyss 
So when I pop this pill and destroy your existence,
The wet dream you have will be much much different.

SCP-990 (Dream Man):
You’re led to believe it’s a win you’re receiving,
But it’d be too easy to say that you’re dreaming.
I've no true form, but your costumes are laughable 
With Grey's deja vu form never surpassing passable 
It doesn't take a future vision to know your raps were disasters
Leaving wars Cold, more old than the skill I've mastered
You’re both seen as antagonistic, giving others fear,
So why not take my hand? I’m not the bad guy here.
A guise filled with lies, more anonymous than your lettering
You want some bars to munch on? Suppose I’ll do the Keter-ing.
Make no mistake; I’ll break your fake X-Files
I’d rather not partake in a screaming match with you exiles
And as I sit on this bench, watching this match from the sidelines,
I chuckle to myself as you both stay in the limelight
So repent for your mistakes; either way you're sure to fall
See the light 'fore it's too late; this is your wake-up call.

(RNG as SCP 990
Beat produced by hala-X)

Grey Man vs This Man - Rap Cypher #20

LYRICS

BEN:
A bird against the one who froze the web?
You’ll need more than a notepad to go past this magnum Opus, BEN
Your family’s broken, bent, I’ll look into Manfred’s hopeless mess
I know a thing or two about Ocean Quests
But we both know Lorenz
He dropped the phone cause he knows that his home’s a wreck
Not surprised she can’t step up when her legs went and sent her
To the hospital bed, and she never woke again
But I can see why you slept in, I wouldn’t want to live your dreaded youth
Since daddy couldn’t find time to care for ya with the Lens of Truth
So no revival’s gonna save ya when I’m dissin' this pest
‘Cuz he nabbed the system and dipped... in the literal sense
Putrid, you’re more confusing than your textures
Useless, you’re only wanted by retro collectors  
Moon kids, I ascend over all your flimsy horrors
Hubris, you can’t save yourself, it’s YOURTURN

Thea:
Hm? I think the phone’s ringing
This foe’s got his flow missing, but he should know 
I’m the Mario Killer, I got pro crow spittin’
So best head to Lon Lon Ranch ‘cause on the mic, I roast chickens!
It makes sense you’re the Elegy of Emptiness
Since all the filler in your writing had made me deathly sick
You’re not really exciting- scary sightings and standing silent?
I could stop you in your tracks by turning on an anti-virus!
You’re the magnum opus of… cartridge possession?
Please, I’m more fly than you, even after your ascension!
The only thing you froze were the screens you were shown on
Mixed with the shallow story that rivals the water you choked on
The Father murdered ya’, you got eternal hatred
You took to Termina, then you got terminated
While I’m still alive, you can’t be comparing our states
When your fandom grabbed a pen and gave a terrible fate

BEN:
Mentioning fandoms? Like you’re someone who could strike a cord
Using Unity to stay alive like it’s your life support
And don’t say I’m the worst of my kind
‘Cause my Internet Story’s the reason yours is alive
Killing this track and the counter resets
You’re not getting rid of me with a browser refresh
Hear the ringing of the phone going as loud as it gets?
Don’t worry, it’ll be muffled once you’re drowning to death

Thea:
As if I’d cave in to your threats- they should’ve kept this error hidden
I thought this reservation could serve up something that’s better written
But with your phoned-in disses, you’ve made yourself a living hell
Since cowards freaking out at their computer sure does ring a bell
I’m not scared of you since your powers consist of nothing
And no glitches can save ya’ when your days run out like your funding
So once you make like your website and Cleverbot breaks
Your ROM will be the only thing that’s left on your grave

CREDITS 

ENNWAY as BEN

Azia as Thea

Written by Rabi and Shimario
Additional Writing Help from Dilly!
Beat by Anywaywell and Glitchdude
Mixed and mastered by Freshy Kanal
Art by Cyancoat and noobydotwad
Thumbnail by Rabi

BENDROWNED vs. Catastrophe Crow - Rap Battle

Cast: Me
Written by Me
Beat by Dave James
Mixed and Mastered by GlitchDude

Bored Ape:
Yo what’s up duck, I hope you don’t get overloaded
I cryptomine for lines, make your CPU start smokin’

Grabbin golden bunches funded by my loads of tokens 
I’ll start this from the top, make it like my fruit and open 

Everywhere you’re seein me, the Eminem PFP
I’m blastin’ up this track like it’s NF and some TNT

Gettin’ bitches rich off my face and my grinnin’ teeth
You’re just screamin, get ears bleedin, with one word, fore leavin me

The funkiest, hunkiest, duck, print money you could dive in
Forget brass monkey, bruh this monkey made of diamonds

With dough I’m sittin pretty, you throw bread at a park bench
You’re hurt and won’t work, not worth trading on the market 


Aflac:
Here’s a few quotes, wanna ensure we’re not equals?
I’m a duck of the people, you just snug up with BEEPLE

So shut the flock up, you and your whole herd of sheeple
You’re gonna crash this beat and market- like a vehicle!

Help banks stay in shape, from Japan to my lake
But this ugly ass ape made a big funging mistake

Cryptos a craze, I’ll end it on the spot
Cause you’re ridin a wave, I’m throwin you off your yacht 

You may drop and you’ll drop and you’ll drop and you’ll drop
I’ll chain block upon block upon block upon block

I’ve got a foul talk, when I spout my fowl squak
So take a walk to my pond and AF-LICK my cock.


Bored Ape:
Bro, literally, they eat you up overseas
Dawg waddle home, I’ve got the real web feats

Check my chimp strength, gainst geese I’m a beast
It’s ironic that Godfried got fired for his tweets

Let’s not compare Flo, you don’t measure to your peers
You’ve been grating my ears for the last 20 years 

I’m bored, without laughter, I don’t fuck around with quackers
But I do fucks with Affleck- and by that I mean the actor


Aflac:
Lemme capture the moment, a cage you could sit in
Now you’re worthless as dirt, and my write spit victim

Flick of my feathered wrist, here’s my business card too
I’ve seen more fundable monkeys around Central Park Zoo

You’re a fugly cartoon, I’m the most skrukly puppet, 
Japan loves me, bud, they love the receipt you come with

My insurance helps with murders, and all sorts of crimes
But because you were the victim, it isn’t worth a dime

Bored Ape Vs The Aflac Duck - ASSRB

Penn Voiced By Jenni No Mercy
Jay Voiced By RaccoonBro
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Thumbnail By TheDangerStranger
Additional Help By Skitzy, Cri, Pixel Chris

Beat: [FREE] SKI MASK THE SLUMP GOD TYPE BEAT "SAX" (prod. ESKRY)


Penn:

Ladies and Gentlemen! We really hope you’re settled in!
We’re Penn and Teller, and we’re ready for battling
Against a couple slackers lacking in the brain matter
Not windows, but we’ll leave a couple pains shattered
We got jokes, and magic packed with emotion
The only talent you two got is blowing smoke, kid
So you’ll be left choking on your home grown clouds
Tried the reboot craze just to scrape up clout!
You’re the View Askewniverse’s worst!
Think saying mother fucker over and over’s a verse
Your fans might say that Dogma really was a big deal
Too bad Weinstein has his thumbprint on the film reel!
And your attempts with the ladies was crazy
Law breaker wanted Justice and fatty was Chasing Amy
So let’s see if the budget Bill and Ted can really spit
But you’re all smoke and mirrors, and frankly it’s Bullshit

Jay:

Hey Bob, looks like we’re battling hypocrites
Weird hearing fat jokes coming from Mister Bitch Tits
You’d better quit this. We keep it blunt on tracks
You think you shits can spit? Well now we’re gonna Strike Back!
It’s Jay and Bob, we’re obviously the dream team!
We even steal the screens with cameos back in Scream 3!
Believe me, we do find it ironic
That you’re getting smoked out by Bluntman and Chronic!
We’re the classic, the fact is you’re just has beens!
Careers burning faster than the ash from a hash pen!
And actually? What really looked worse? I can’t tell
Between your spots on the Apprentice or SNL!
Your stage presence? It’s evident that it’s dog shit
You're playing Harry Potter while we’re busy making profits!
You wanna top this? We’re just too much to handle!
Leave a couple farts cut up, like their names are Mark Hamill!

Penn:

We’re known to tell lies, but that verse was just wrong
We rip the rule book. You’re taking rips from bongs!
By the end of this song, we’ll sock you like a Cock Knocker!
Want girls but your attitudes are real cock blockers!
And no amount of your film’s show exposure
Could convince Kevin Smith to give your story real closure
Stand in front of the store more. You two are just clueless!
You gave it your all, but still, you didn’t fool us

Jay:

Mother fuck, your effort was just a bust!
With a verse drawn out even longer than Desert Bus!
There’s no taking on us. These geezers are too dated
Forget Shaq! We hang with Affleck and Damon!
And what’s crazy ‘bout you trying to be a vocalist
From socials to your shows, you’re just over blown socialists!
And now, we’re done owning this, we’re leaving you robbed.
You mother fucks got crushed. Love Jay and Silent Bob

Penn and Teller Vs. Jay and Silent Bob - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Ephraim Winslow : WillEpicFilcks 
Thomas Wake : Light 

Flapjack : CyanMilkShake / nEon
Captain K'Nuckles : Freshy Kanal

Written by Kamren.
Additional help by CreepSwitch and Paige.
Thumbnail background by Oofie.
Beat : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HVC4XknA9A
Beat Prod. : BreathtakingBeats.
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Thumbnail by Jason Carreon

Lyrics :
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IKlfmX93Xn1Wswj4c6RTeotRYEdyBo7k89UjO5nCOI4/edit

Lyrics Explained + Trivia! :
https://docs.google.com/document/d/16_LJsAhTAn-cq7Nb6AgtDolZ0vnSX0VLrDFosp105GE/edit

Alan Moore vs. Charles Dickens - Discord Rap Battles (Early Audio)

DISCORD RAP BATTLES

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