a caffeine-addled assault on the monotony of isolation

8 Days A Week

In August 2019, a close friend of mine passed away from an overdose. This song is a portrait of the grief I and those close to her experienced in the aftermath. Rest in Peace Antonia, it would've been your 22nd tomorrow (4/23). We miss you, and we won't forget you and your strength in the face of adversity.

Updated October 2021

Lyrics

She was alive, 
She was loved, she was alive. 
It's not right, she was alive
Help me dye my hair, cause she was alive
She was alive, alive

Hold on my friend you weren't supposed to leave yet
Cause you had so much more to live for
And so much to give, an absence of forgiveness
From those of us that you had adored
And how could I expect to outlive you
Even if you didn't make it to twenty-two
What the hell are we supposed to do
(What the hell am I supposed to do / You did whatever you wanted to)

Of all my old sins that you forgave
You helped me believe I was worthy of being saved
But then I paved a distance from your new path
Creating space and time to lose track

The wicked traps placed, illness you succumb
I wished to document how far we had come
Wasted saturday night. in the morning you're gone
Now I'm required to sing this song

(Theres not enough narcan left inside. I will pay for leaving you behind)

I should've found you in the night
I had no idea where you were when you lost your life
These words should not exist
You are dearly missed
Antonia
You are dearly missed

The one who forgave my transgressions
Who rebuked me from deep within
(There's not enough Narcan left inside)
Who gave me a chance to grow has departed
(I will pay for leaving you behind)
The casual smirk and deceptive grin
The unrequited assurance
(Beautiful perfect scum of your design)
That began the change of of everything I know
(A family of idiots must survive)
Restarted

She was alive
She was loved, she was alive
I'm not fine. She was alive
You should reconcile cause she was alive
She was alive, alive

So what will I do with this pain of mine
Confusion overwhelming inside
I could've sworn all my friends were forbidden from dying
Forbidden
Forbidden

Seeing your name on street signs fills me with anguish
Speaking your fate aloud feels like hearing a lie
(This cant be true, this can't be true)
This is impossible, improbable in our timeline

Some nights after you died
I reached over ninety-thousand miles in my car
And I didn't even notice
I couldn't cause I was too busy 
driving slowly around the suburbs that we both grew up in
And screaming in disbelief

(Reveal those positive angel minutes)
Did all that make-up hide your pain inside
(And we'll revel in those positive angel minutes to the end)
Shelter us all from the burden you resolved to bear alone
(Reveal those positive angel minutes)
Did all that make-up hide your pain inside
(And we'll revel in those positive angel minutes to the end)
We all admired what was on the surface, concealer sealing away the unknown

The one who forgave my transgressions
Who rebuked me from deep within
(There's not enough Narcan left inside)
Who gave me a chance to grow has departed
(I will pay for leaving you behind)
The casual smirk and deceptive grin
The unrequited assurance
(Beautiful perfect scum of your design)
That began the change of of everything I know
(A family of idiots must survive)
Has restarted
Cause she was alive

Sorry I Passed Out And Just Woke Up, I Need My Sleeps (She Was Alive)

Kelly plays the Gibson SG Special into a Marshall DSL 40C & a Fender Hot Rod Deluxe... Yamaha Black Bass, Clavinet, Drums, & Vocals...
All Music & Lyrics by Kelly Ray Christian...
Recorded Live @ Keldog Studios...
All Rights Reserved...  Copyright K TUNES 2021

Live my Life

this is pretty different from what i usually make, i hope it doesnt turn anyone away :o

chords: Em, G

Lyrics: 

i hate you
you fucking asshole
im cutting every night because of you
you hate you hate me
but i wouldnt want it any other way
everything around me is breaking its breaking
i can never feel ok
ill never be happy for just one day

because of you because of you

tiger stripes of cuts all over me
how will i hide it from my family 
i hate the fucking hospital
its never once helped
it only made it worse please god get me out

because of you my life is so shit 
because of you im just one hit away from fucking killing myself

because of you 
you
it was always you

Because Of You

More emo / pop punk tracks like this coming soon as well ^-^ 

Guitars, bass, vocals & drum programming all done by me <3

Lyrics

Ooooooooooooo
Oooooooo Yeaahh 
Ooooooooooooo
Oooooooo Yeaahh 
Ooooooooooooo
Oooooooo Yeaahh 
Ooooooooooooo
Oooooooo Yeaahh 

You said I was
getting emotiional
I haven't felt a 
single thing in years

You think I am 
incomprehensible 
You will change your mind 
after i'm done here

You'll just wait and see what I've planned  

Ooooooooooooo
Oooooooo Yeaahh 
Ooooooooooooo
Oooooooo Yeaahh 
Ooooooooooooo
Oooooooo Yeaahh 
Ooooooooooooo
Oooooooo Yeaahh

HELP ✭ </3

verse/chorus to a emo song that will have a poetic intro leading straight into this. i don't know how to record/make music so sorry about the shitty timing/production (dont have headphones to hear the music while screaming). i just wanted to upload the first piece that i recorded for this project as it holds very special significance to me

this is a very rough version to a demo, song will be better

dont need to sit alone in your room anymore
dont need to worry about the person that you're not
i know that person inside
and the mind of that person
is the one that lights my life

cuddly one

Experimental demo of punk rock and dnb.  
Needs more bass.  More breaks.  And less fried highs.
http://www.simonv.com/tutorials/drum_patterns.php
This is literally impossible for me to play as is without izotopes stutter edit, so thanks izotope.  I mean, I can play guitar and drum but this is me trying to meld it all together in ableton live.

Sweet Blueberry Butterfly Waffle Kisses

a cover of Blink-182's song "generational divide"

guitar, bass, and vox done by me.
drums by OMFGrant (please support him he's dope)

thank u for listening <3

GENERATIONAL DIVIDE [COVER]

[ @gothmoney02 ]

Baby, and I told you 
I would nvr leave your side
Cuz I don’t want to,
I dont want to leave you alone
Cuz baby ur so fuckin perfect
In my fuckin eyes

I Slit my wrist everyday
Cuz I wanna die
But I just think abt you every time
Always wonder wut you’ll do
When I’m no longer here
I’ll fucking slit my wrists till the day I die
But I dont want to (yeah) fucking die
I dont wanna leave you
Leave you here alone
Baby, I dont want to leave you here by urself
I will always be here, by ur side
I always promise, I’ll keep my
Keep my fucking promise

In my arms
In my arms
You’ll find a safe place
Baby hold my hand
We’ll fuckin fly away
From the land of pain
We’ll run away
From the land of pain
Just hold my hand
We’ll fly away x4

FUCK
I CANT TAKE THIS NO LONGER
I JUST WANNA FUCKIN DIE
NO MORE, SHIT
FUCKIN END IT
OH MY GOD
I CANNOT
I WANT TO DIE
I WANT TO FLY
TAKE MY HAND
WE WILL FLY AWAY
TO A BETTER, 
TO A BETTER PLACE FOR US

away

gothmoney02 - away // ##DEATHPOINT EXCLUSIVE

online swingsets

vocals, master, mix ~ xoswitch
produced ~ living puff
lyrics:
https://genius.com/xoswitch-running-backwords-lyrics

HELP ✭ </3

☆ Sc3n3 Scr3am3r ☆