What happened to that song I can’t feel any more? @kaiso.

too much time
i waited too long for you to be mine
cuts on my wrist and on my neck
in time
im surprised that im still here i didnt die
i dont know why

god has a plan and i get it
i am part of the men who will make it
every second i wait i manage
screw it up, and youll leave in a second

im manic
and i panic at night i think about death im sore
i wine
and think about the lies

manic thoughts
novocaine
all my fears
accumulate
making pain
seperate
my life from 

theres pressure inside of my head and its building
im lost in the 

too much time
i waited too long for you to be mine
cuts on my wrist and on my neck
in time
im surprised that im still here i didnt die
i dont know why

your arts on my walls
i stalk i gleem at every thought
open me up and im coating the wall
im drawing myself with the blood that i draw

i bleed
i need a way out my mind when im thinking of you in my dreams
wake me up, i just need to sleep
without thinking of you i need
to sleep

Drawing Myself With The Blood That I Draw

lyrics ⬇️ 

I dont even know if i know myself no more
everyone around me tells me that i fell short
if i i did then its alright
well its easier said from someone else
well maybe its my time
I guess ill discard what i wanted most

its fine to lead me on
but ur lying led me off the trail
i know i read a lot
so i can read right through your stare

well all this messin up got me thinkin that i cant do no more
why cant i accept that i dont even know me anymore
its alright 
leave me alone
dont got ttime
i dont why 

i dont why i dont just get back to a year
when they look in my eyes they cant tell what is real or what is hysterical 
losin my mind Yea i need me a miracle save me my life
yea well that’s unacceptable cuz you wont let anything else come to light
and i used to have to pack visine for the whitening so that they dont attack
but now you dont gotta remind me
cuz i promise that i made it on track

and maybe it dont mean that much
I used to crash on the back of the bus
yea maybe it dont mean that much
atleats nowadays i dont hit up my plug
yea
it always used to be rough
nowdays im backin it up
this life aint all abt luck
i think its more about trust
abt staying off of the drugs


whats the sort
Im feelinh fine right where i am now
Let me thank the lord
cuz he helped me write this whole plan out
i feel like a man now i wont take any more hand outs
back then i felt like a sand house
It was so easy to knock me down

idk myself (michael harrison)

produced by jolst and metlast
mastered by nate2timez
mixed and written by me




you tip-toed
your shadow

you tip-toed past the bedroom
your shadow cast from the lit moon
shows through the window every night you stabbed my back
now when i comes november i isolate just to relax
i’ll hold on to what i once knew
regardless whether any of its true
memories scattered across my brain just like its glass
if i combine the pieces in my head i might relapse

go back to a time when i was defenseless 
oh god i must resist this
i’m playing with the damaged
parts of my mind, that might never recover
it’s hard to define, what’s black and white and color

fall leaves reminding me that it’s over
dissociated 3 months to find closure
just to figure out that life sober
isn’t what i want it sounds torture

isn’t what i want that shit sounds like fuckin torture 
thought i saw her in the background just found out it’s not her
now my heart is broken the way she ditched me at the concert
baby girl it’s all for you don’t you leave me with my heart hurt

you tip-toed past the bedroom
your shadow cast from the lit moon
shows through the window every night you stabbed my back
now when i comes november i isolate just to relax
i’ll hold on to what i once knew
regardless whether any of its true
memories scattered across my brain just like its glass
if i combine the pieces in my head i might relapse

shows through the window every night you stabbed my back
now when i comes november i isolate just to relax 
memories scattered across my brain just like its glass
if i combine the pieces in my head i might relapse

u tip-toed past the bedroom (metlast x jolst)

music video: https://youtu.be/IREqINgtJM8?si=-5senlxvfqZjLePe

lyrics

snot pouring out of my nose
body aches
broken toes
alright
i never know where to go
it follows me home
and its making me cold
alright
bb this stop is closed
alright
im sick of getting hosed
alright
if i had died in that car u wuldve moved on and its killing my soul alright

i suprised i got this far
im sinking in tar
bb look at the stars 
were fine
im getting slower and slower
and older and older
just look at the bags on my eyes
i got some habits i formed i dont like
i got some problems im not of your kind
i think its better off if i die
ill show u  lesser of me if ud like

bb jus tell me the things on your mind
shawty jus tell me the things that u like
i make it worse even tho i dont try to
please gimme grace u know i am not like u

look at the time is high noon
im goin circles like im in a cycle
i brought a blade in the michaels
im rocking back in forth when i idle


i bite my nails till they bleed
why r u speaking to me
promise aint tryna be mean
i think id prefer if u leave

think ill push that to the back
im in the back in all black
im stepping out w the mask
i sipping out of the flask

imma be gone in a flash
imma be gone in a blast
this aint enough so i stack
this aint enough so i mash
see me n he do the dash
buddy u aint even fast
he doesnt know he aint bulletproof
im running off w the cash

problems

[Intro]
I'm not doing as good, as I really wanted to at the start
(Beam me up Scotty)
I'll probably fucking die in the next few months or something with my luck

[Chorus]
Hopeless nights tend to forget about the sickness till it's time
When I'm rid of all the fucking pharmaceuticals or prescriptions
Sliding through the real world on vomit from my system
What the fuck is wrong with my life
I'm weaning off of everything that kept me sane at night
Every scrape or cut or bruise or sore is cancer in my mind
Preemptive sick days you never know when you might die (RIP)

[Verse 1]
When you might die about a thousand fucking ways to do it everyday of life
Not a fucking lie there's shows about it on spike
Danger's real and it exists inside your mind (Fucking mind)
I don't give a fuck if you pay me, no royalties make it easy
Put every purchase on my Visa my food money could buy a Mercedes
Miles don't give a fuck and they praise me (Oh), minor fevers might phase me
Haven't ate in a couple days, so even shit could look tasty (Yuh)
Puking in a Starbucks bathroom, then I order from the menu
Organize loose plans, so they fall through
I'm really good at cancelling when I want to
At this point I don't know if I want you
Really good at fucking up when I got you
Really good at dodging everything about truth
If the book of lies exist I'll make a part two (Okay, okay)

[Chorus]
Hopeless nights tend to forget about the sickness till it's time
When I'm rid of all the fucking pharmaceuticals or prescriptions
Sliding through the real world on vomit from my system
What the fuck is wrong with my life
I'm weaning off of everything that kept me sane at night
Every scrape or cut or bruise or sore is cancer in my mind
Preemptive sick days you never know when you might die

[Verse 2]
What is this scene, I don't wanna fucking die
I'll make music about awaking to the smell of apple pie (Shit is yummy)
There's no clout in here if you're enjoying life
I don't fuck with anyone who uses sadness as a high
All emotions are my vice, firm relationships I like
I got molten lava touch if you want talk about something fire
Put piano in rewind and I can spit verses all night
I can tell you life is shit in songs it doesn't make it right
I've had friends I like a lot, but I drop them out of spite
If I block out all the guilt bet I could ghost them over night (I'll fucking ghost)
I'll fucking ghost, I'll fucking ghost (Overnight)
Okay, okay, okay

[Chorus]
Hopeless nights tend to forget about the sickness till it's time
When I'm rid of all the fucking pharmaceuticals or prescriptions
Sliding through the real world on vomit from my system
What the fuck is wrong with my life
I'm weaning off of everything that kept me sane at night
Every scrape or cut or bruise or sore is cancer in my mind
Preemptive sick days you never know when you might die (Fucking die)

9TAILS - liar (prod. scottysplash)

lyrics ⬇️
when autumns around the corner i feel much worse
cuz i like the birds
and you held my worth
i think that the time against me holds up a curse
where i can’t discern 
what did i learn

dont let me back in
i wont get anything done
cuz
up in my head i been doing enough
youre making me lust when i really want love
and your breaking my trust when im off of the drugs

so i dont wanna do this
oh i hate to shove
but just gotta do it
i gotta give it up

how could i be losing my touch
i dont wanna prove that life been rough
but everything ends when it blows into dust
and i tried to find a friend just to gimme what i want

(Casperrr)

u cursed on me a spell
or sumthing like that 
just like icarus fell
im falling with no catch
ño one hold me tight 
or keep me sight 
at least when im at the verge
of~ commiting suicide 

im sorry u rotted me to the core
just something i can't ignore 
the visual display was nasty 
and all i can see is  gore 
if u'd see it thanr u'd be bored 
i wish dat u'd change but u can't anymopre

tragic
slicing all my arteries 
bleeding out
spilling, fallin of the kitchen sink
coping now 
with what u wanted me to be 
wanted me for urself
that's why u tried to kill me 

\

artery w/casperrr (blocktane)

produced by ryan kelly & tiedforsilver
mixed by me
mastered by nate2timez 

lyrics

when you were by my side you made me have to stand tall
now that you’re not here anymore i’m thinking of ending it all
i can’t calm down these thoughts they weigh heavy on my soul
i’ve been pacing, going back and forth my body has taken a toll

you use to have my back when i had to stay strong
now i can even relax with myself im too gone
ive been breaking my back just to try and hold on
and frankly its a fact that im not meant to last long 

i can hardly think from the pressure in my brain 
and lately i can’t i breathe with all the shit you didn’t say
the silence made me leave in a rushed and panicked state 
and you know i made poor decisions when leaving that place 

and i just lack the will to get you out of my brain
thinking bout you every day got me going insane
and if i could i would but i don’t seem to have a say
please just walk away just get out of my face

hollowed
it’s your strength i barrowed 
to get me out of here
in a sudden flash everything was gone in sight
all i’ve ever loved before vanished from my eyes 
now i’m starting over and im cutting all the ties 
in a world that is cold that i might just fucking die

i left that night and nobody seem to give a fuck
i’ve been inside of my mind all night i think i  need to sober up
cant even numb the pain with all these drugs i couldn’t smoke enough 
might as well just give into these thoughts and roll up, spark another one

bitch you think i’m having fun 
then you must be fuckin dumb
no, you must be on one
if you thinkin i wasn’t numb 

the smile seems real but it’s fake alright 
just wait till im your poltergeist 
cause one of these days im gonna die 
you’ll feel bad for me when the light leaves my eyes

i can hardly think from the pressure in my brain 
and lately i can’t i breathe with all the shit you didn’t say
the silence made me leave in a rushed and panicked state 
and you know i made poor decisions when leaving that place

i can hardly think from the pressure in my brain 
and lately i can’t i breathe with all the shit you didn’t say
the silence made me leave in a rushed and panicked state 
and you know i made poor decisions when leaving that place

i love you w/ notahero (neverforever)

kaiso.

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