The Upload

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

you said no yeah I don’t want to see you
well that’s fair yeah I get that I am being used
cut-up fucked up on the inside
im scared to death cus I thought you’d be right by my side

black eyes staring straight through my skin
I can see the transparency within
it’s like I wasn’t even there no no no
sometimes the pictures that you took showed me I could disappear

I fucked up wading down the hospital isle
you said forget about me, I begged to stay for a while
so wrap your arms, wrap your arms just around me
turn to stone, lose control push away and be alone

I know you hoped i suffered I know your with another
cus hating me was your favorite past time
I know you break and stutter your minds fucked take another
another pill just to help you forget my name

my bones are now disordered kick down the glass now cornered
crawling out on my stomach just to feel more pain
dialed up you never answered, you left me here abandoned
could it be that this isn’t love

you said no yeah I don’t want to see you
well that’s fair yeah I get that I am being used
cut-up fucked up on the inside
im scared to death cus I thought you’d be right by my side

hospital beds, I see my mother give a smile
she'll hold my hand as I push myself into denial
you could have been there even as a fucking friend
I hate myself cus I couldn’t hate you when you left

broken knuckles hit the wall pain it shudders through my core
it’s not the type of pain that relates to my hand being broke
drive me to the hospital screaming at me all along
sorry im not perfect, im not worth it, I just really try my best

not to be too much, to fucked up
it’s hard to cope when you say it’s just all  in my head
cus our loves a messy masterpiece were both fucked up and on our knees
begging for a drug just to take away the fucking pain

Weathercast

adding up

prod heydium <3

lyrics: 

yeah i struggle a lot with myself
i spend a lot of time stuck in this hell
caught up between realities
i try not to become another victim of mentality
but i tell you what..
this life is slowly killin me

da da da da
this shits too much
da da da da 
like i rlly give af?

how do i make this something real?
i fuck with the aesthetic
i just dont get the appeal...
and its kinda fuckin me up
hardly livin wit the liquor and the drugs
this life has never been enough
i hate myself and it fuckin sucks
yeah its been so long man, stuck in this rut
i could die tomorrow
yeah, nobody give af 

yeah nobody give af...
nobody give af...

NOBODY GIVE AF

Spotify

nobody give af [+heydium]

Spine

Spine (Ft. Weepings & Yokai Dreams) [Prod. Rajaste & sxber]

ME & MY

@noxious-nights - 1st
@navyxower - 2nd
@yoimn3ver - 3rd
@soulfadexo - 4th
@emptychest - 5th

(noxiousnights)
I lost it all 
But I act like i'm okay
Even life is dying
So how am I still there ?
I take control
I can't put up with that shit
I'll be doing my best
Lately that's how I live
If you believe what i say then you got it all wrong
Only truth that i talk is written in those damn songs
She's been coughing like she's dying when she hits the bong
I'm playing with her hair and i help her staying strong
No, I promise saying how i fucking feel never helped me at all
I have this burning pain so i'm never feelin cold
I gotta move up North, all year long i wanna be in the snow
my body's gonna rot, will my story be told?

(NAVYXOWER)
blatantly, suffering, daily
WAKING UP, TO DREAMS THAT FUCKIN SCARE ME
holding on to you can fuckin save me
MAKING UP UR MIND, I NEED SOME HELP PLEASE!

i just wanna do, somethin right in my life
dont want no broken dreams, just keep my memories in line!
CONTEMPLATING LIFE
MY VISIONS GONNA DIE
DONT LET GO OF MY HEART
DYING RIGHT INSIDE

(teddyboi)
i got scars on my arms, i got scars on my thighs
people call it a nightmare, i call it my life
ptsd and substances, they coincide
i met the devil, he told me go inside
he put me in a chair, and said "this fuckers gotta die"

im not good at answering texts
tell me you love me, i leave you on read
plug tells me these are strong
tell me when i should care
id rather be high & dead
than comprehend that you were there
its all abt the music
aint nobody care

(soulfade)
Snow White ate a poison apple
Losing all at a downfall
Not fair for losing control
Might be just a “be all, end all”
Like lost babes in the woods
Pale wolves come rushing on in
I know what could’ve gone worse
Time is strange, but I know it’ll last

(emptychest)
what else is there 2 say? 
im okay
u still stalk my stories every damn day
ay taking hits
take a hint, take a hint
youre acidic
i love the way the smoke burns in my throat
i love the way it hurts and the way i ignore it, ignore it 
do you like how i hurt? do you like how i hurt? yeah.
does he like how i try? does he like how i try? no..

Shattered Dreams w/ noxiousnights, NAVYXOWER, teddyboi, soulfade & emptychest [+ sogimura]

Lyrics:

I just need to break down
dont make me do it out here
yea i cry ugly i swear
its not for ur eye i rip and tear
i used to follow certain morals
and never asked why first
does she give u mercy
when u beg her that it hurts

do no harm yea she preaches 
while she looks me in the eyes
and her pupils dialate 
as we read eachothers minds
memories flood back thru an air filled brain
she's the only one aware when she dish out pain
she wants to
bash me with a pipe wrench
wreak out fucking havoc
and i promise she would if we weren't at this party

yet the kiss comes easily
and the clothes follow and she's feeling me
yet the kiss comes easily
and the clothes follow and she's feeling me
she could never concentrate thru her rolled back eyes
physicalities distract us from our lust to die

i told her xpect the worst n u cant get hurt
but she’s an optimist and only heeds signs from the earth
u shouldve listened and detached urself as i do 
i'm not an oracle but i know how to survive here
on this foreign planet
and if i'm left here unattended i might cause some damage
they shoulda known i wasn't human when their virus didn't phase me
shoulda seen how i don't click with human beings as of lately

I just need to break down
dont make me do it out here
yea i cry ugly i swear
its not for ur eye i rip and tear
i used to follow certain morals
and never asked why first
does she give u mercy
when u beg her that it hurts

I just need to break down
dont make me do it out here
yea i cry ugly i swear
its not for ur eye i rip and tear
i used to follow certain morals
and never asked why first
does she give u mercy
when u beg her that it hurts

parking lot breakdown (branwen)

white freckles (prod. senshei) 2019

lyrics

i been smoking stem thru the day
barely feel it im a heavy weight
and i dont drink water wanna feel it in my brain
im a dehydrated bitch 
what u got some shit to say
im not healthy and i know that
im not healthy and i love that
liqour pouring and i felt that
done a lot of t breaks and i failed em

i been on my shit on my drink
i been fucking up these cups
im a lot im a cunt
why the fuck u acting tough
its enough its enough its enough enough enough 
im smoking stem in this bitch and im feeling awful rough 

Yuh huh I'm a wizard with these mixers
I make several drinks in a night I'm feeling shitfaced
Hopping on a beat from my bro I call em brethren 
Hit me for a sesh and I send that cash and it's no question

I got fuck all followers 
But prods still offer me beats
I get on these beats 
And turn into a beast
I'm all up in these sheets
And blood all up on these sheets
She gon punch me in the face and it gon make me cream

Maybe it's fueled by the substance
Who really gives a fuck
Know that I'm in my shit
Know that I'm going hard
Disrespect my name
And run it thru the dirt
I don't give a shit
Just know u fucked me first
Hold up hold up
Rum gonna fuel this hold up
Roll up roll out
Transformers shit we all out
im smoking on gas out the bag now
she wanna fuck i say not now
she press against my pants and i take a shower to go and calm down

i get sick of people easily
but i dont mind ur company
wont u stay the night with me
take it to the level that u want to 
if im being honest i just really wanna please u

enough. (viera x jolst)

Produced by me

Lyrics:

I’m sorry how shit went down
Between you and me
I know it wasn’t all your fault
But shit is so different now
So please let me be 
cause I don’t wanna be your pawn

Ooh
You’re taking up my headspace lately
You
You Think of all the ways to break me

You still want me you can’t get over it
I still get under your skin
You’re barely breathing and your throat is red
Just let me go get a grip

Ooh
You’re taking up my headspace
You
You’re taking up my headspace

I just wanna let you know
That I don’t ever think about you anymore 
While you make videos
About how much you hate me I don’t care at all

Ooh
You’re taking up my headspace lately
You
You Think of all the ways to break me

You still want me you can’t get over it
I still get under your skin
You’re barely breathing and your throat is red
Just let me go get a grip

Ooh
You’re taking up my headspace
You
You’re taking up my headspace

headspace (demo)

// did u think id save u :/ ? //

inspired by deadboymikes 'rooftop freestyle'

lyrics

did u think id save you
well i cant even even look u in the eye no more
at least i can say i changed u
things are not the same not the same 
as before

oh that look you gave
i swear its not the same
talk about a different phase
she’s still a broken girl
and to her world i try relate

I will travel places 
but the only view i sees ur face

i cant take it ohhh
ill try move in to a different world
coz i just hate it here fucks sake
havent even opened curtains 
dont know if its night or day

i dont even know why im here
falling falling falling
think that livings all i fear

i do it everyday
i drag me thru this pain
i swim thru all these waves
to see the fucki…

i dont know what the point of it all is
but find somewhere 
and ill make my way
oh yeah now

/me talking shit/

cant wait till u go see her
always in yo dreams huh?
im not just talking bout secre
i know others are the same

and they’ll slowly disappear 
used to be excited but now i see i interfere
its so confusing growing ups so weird
all this shit they value i dont fucking care

i tore of this
im so fucking bored of this 

fuck fighting all these feelings
i cant even seem to reach them
how far id have to dig so i could show a glimpse of tearing

wow
i didn’t write all of this down
feel like im in a rooftop way im spitting all this out (shoutout mike)
feel like ive been losing my mind since ive been in town
trust me man this music shit it keeps me fairly sound

this man inside the sewer keeps my feet firm on the ground (shoutout sewer guy)
today becomes tomorrow 
but i feel this shit right now
ill fill up my sorrow
when this new year comes around

<3

windøw_seat freestyle (rarrebear)

im too fucked
im too tired
i dont care
but i care..
too far gone to even show no signs
thinking of you keeps me up all night
x2
i need somebody to depend on
i cant do this shit all alone
im tryna find love online
i dont got shit to do tonight
so call me up tonight
spend some time together
get to know eachother
right..?
cus ion got time to waste 
cus ive felt
all the sadness that i wanna feel
its been too long
fighting w myself
every other night is dealin w somebody else
every other night is fuckin w somebody else
i just need somebody just to mend my broken heart,
like.

I care. (despairintoashes)

VERSE 1

(epitome)

i solidify the thoughts inside my head
the thoughts that are telling me i’m better off dead
no matter what you say to me
6 feet deep is where i’ll be
as the light from the tunnel grows darker and darker
my mind grows farther and farther away
please stay
stay with me
don’t leave my body alone to decay

VERSE 2

(paperthinwalls)

this is the last time i hope you see me 
(hope you see me)
6 feet underneath i’m not breathing 
it’s too late to go back
i cant run to the past
you left me shattered like glass
knew this would never last
it doesn’t matter i’ll be dead in the morning
body lined with chalk yeah i’m never returning 
i’m writing all these songs yeah this is my warning 
never had a place yeah this doesn’t concern me
oh oh oh
i’m burning it’s ok
i’m learning (i’m learning)
i’m so alone
got nobody i feel like a ghost

BRIDGE

(epitome)

i’m so alone 
i’m so close
to letting go
of the life i use to know

VERSE 3 (shared)

(epitome)

p-p-p-pain is never ending 
i cant find the beginning
my minds at war
don’t know what i’m searching for
a sense of hope maybe?
but i can’t find that lately (lately)

(paperthinwalls)

and lately i’ve been lost in this dream
and no hope of ever escaping
and oh god yeah look what you made me
i’m sorry it’s these feelings that change me

OUTRO

(epitome)

i’m so sorry
please for give me
i cant change
i know i’ll stay the same

spotify <3

longing for death w/ paperthinwalls (metlast x luffy)

Little Games (Prod. Holyvexy)

[+] there's a mirror in my living room...
* featuring @pinkcig + @emofruits * produced by @jolst*

INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/seejayxo
TWITTER: www.twitter.com/seejayxo
DISCORD: www.discord.gg/DRfW7Q4Bmu

reflections

reflections (feat. pink cig + emo fruits) [prod. jolst]

Flames (Prod Splashgvng)
Key Ab Major
Bpm 172

This beat is free for non-profit use only. Any use must give credit - Song Title (Prod Splashgvng)

✨ Purchase | Free Download https://bit.ly/33uKUO0
✨ FAQ Page https://bit.ly/393sQuw
✨ Social Media https://bit.ly/3cQbnqs

🚫 𝓝σ 𝓢𝔞𝕄ᑭℓєˢ υ𝐒έⒹ
🎸 Guitar by Splashgvng

The Upload

FearANV