written, performed, mixed and mastered by bedhead and m0thlab
produced by homecomingqueen
recorded at the batcave
art by bedhead

bedhead x m0thlab - scenic getaway (+ homecomingqueen)

GROTESQUE(PROD.FISH)

bite my tongue

Perfume p guda

Lyrics

Made it through the storm
I'm looking back and I can't help but mourne
A different view and I found love right after quarantine 
You saved me from the gust that was about to hit me

I never loved, I never cared
I always trust, I never bluff
And that's just all of me 
No love, no change
Hard to view, my face

Baby I can't look at you the same
"But I aml tryna change
Why can't you see me that way
Are you just filled with hate?"
Don't think I can live today
She says you better stay
I try to sip through this high 
But I'm still wide awake, baby

Way too much honesty
You watch the falling leaves
Trickle to the dirt as you desert to falling on your knees
Still all this loves come pouring out 
She said that's not love it's just a dream

And through these walls, see through walls I've hidden stuff
Drifted through days and all these days been building up
But I kept it going, I kept it going for the ones I loved

I learned to love, I learned to hate and all da above and all the reasons I had musts
And all the days I was coming up
Through the stages of one of us 
Of one of them, relate to guts 
But in the brain theres’ never touch 
And in a heart there isn’t much
Maybe a maze, grass isn’t cut
Throw in the haze and flow the blood 
Then maybe paint and let it flood

I know that you dont know me when I go cold
But that version of me is more than once told
I can’t seem to hold in no more
I'm tryna live a life and somehow grow

I hope that your happy 
And I'm happy if you are
But you still put that sinking feeling in my heart
It runs so deep I feel it circling my scars
I lived a life where I would only experience hard-ship

I'm tryna reminisce 
But I seem to just look downwards
Even the bliss would have a glimpse
But I'd just be sitting there for hours

But now I know
That I’m just not your home
I try to make u happy but emotions won't control

Am I too much?

same old story

Same old Story (Sleepy fish)

whats the point

forever </3

korean [$wtch]

bones - deadindesignerclothes [shinigami remix]

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sewerperson - 4life verse

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All Donations go directly back into my music & the content I put out. Having your unconditional support as an independent underground artist can make or break me. The listeners, you guys keep me sane, keeping me on track and motivated. I sincerely thank anyone & everybody listening, always excited when I release. I make my music to vent, to release the stress of my life, to free the negativity that I've been consumed by since a child, to let you in. I'm not alone struggling with drug addiction, mental health, my trauma. It's a blessing to know there are those of you who feel and relate to my story...
At the end of the day my only wish, my only hope, is to free someone of their pain through the music, connecting through it, letting go, knowing you're worth the journey.  Luckily, these tremendously strong, unpleasant emotions are temporary so please try to face them. Keeping all of your fear, all of your trauma, your story to yourself will only drag you down further into the void, the emptiness you may feel will grow, the disconnection with people, your family will strengthen, and soon (like I was for years) you'll be isolated, always irritated, severely depressed. I know too well the feeling of loneliness, being around loved ones or friends yet still feeling alone. Please know your story matters, I'm here for you, I hear you, you will be okay. 
Going to bed at night knowing I'm heard, that there are real people listening to my story relating to my feelings, feeling something of their own from their own experiences gives me peace and allows me to push forward with my story, my trauma, my relationships, my addiction, continuing to make music for myself yet selflessly for the one person relating... 
It's cliche to say & I'm sure your mom or a teacher has told you that you're not alone, please know that there are so many people in this world going through very similar situations, feeling exactly how you feel, alone. 
That feeling of being alone is so powerful, you tend to lose sight of the good the world has to offer, the family and friends that care, the gift of life. 
Death, trauma, certain experiences will be apart of who you are and what you become for the rest of your life, but it doesn't have to break you or tear you down... 
I encourage anyone struggling to do something to get out of their mind, even if it's for 10 minutes, I say listen to some of my music lol, kidding...
Take a walk, text a friend to have lunch, start writing poems or short stories, go to the gym. I promise you will feel relief, even if it's just for a moment it's a start. 
Making music helps me process my experiences and takes me closer to healing, accepting what's happened and owning it. Find something that makes you feel good about yourself, at least try...
Just promise me you're not going to give up, please know it's because of you that I have the strength to tell my story, I know I have you guys that actually hear me & feel what I've felt. I said It for so many years, "nobody could understand how I feel", id always emphasize in my mind "i", that yes every person has obstacles to overcome but not like mine... because the feelings were so horrifying and dark, they really did make me believe & feel like I was alone. 
Thank You, to whoever cares...
More Music Soon! 

- Yours Truly, KESSi ❤️


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