a song I wrote about self criticism and being hard on yourself

lacking myself

Phoebe Bridgers (live) - Moon Song (Coachella)

the song is about messed up childhood and its unsaturated dark affects 
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excuse the grammatical mistakes (if there r any) lol
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LYRICS:
my room stays dark even if i turn the lights on
maybe it's the dark grey paint they used while construction 
yes the windows are big and they shine golden every morning 
but they also fail to lighten up the air

i bought fairy lights to decorate my dull walls
and now my walls they look beautiful
but i just can't ignore the lack of colour

maybe it's the way i see
cause they say my room is perfect and i just can't see
maybe i really can't see the saturation of everything
maybe it's just not my room it's the world
that lacks the vibrance everyone keeps talking about
they say there's something wrong with me
but darling i was built like this
but darling you built me up like this


my room an original (voice memo)

walking alone on the street
the crowd is staring at me
lately everyone is mad at me
cause I'm not living their dream

swinging my arms in the autumn air
to the rhythm of the falling leaves
my dad is also pissed at me
cause I'm not living his dream

throwing their blues out of my heart
into the air letting them burn in the sun
cause honey I can't keep fulfilling all of their unfulfilled dreams

singing songs
to myself sitting under the full moon
I'm trying to be gentle with me
so i don't want to be living their dream

throwing their blues out of my heart
into the air letting them burn in the sun
cause honey I can't keep fulfilling all of their unfulfilled dreams



their unfulfilled dreams

safe&sound (cover)

throwing rocks (voice memo)

7 billion people
ik the names of a thousand 
fell in love with 100
nd ended up with only 10 

50 special moments
nd thousand regrets
im so tired of this cycle
but i do kinda like it

i found my soulmate on a 4 day starnger trip
fell in love
knowing I'll just end up in tears again

but i still went for it 
cause she was too special to miss
i didn't want to miss the happinessqq
thinking about some future pain

i wish i could extend the 4 day trip
but the reality is
that i didn't have the budget

i wanted to lock her in my golden cage
i wanted to give all the love she didn't get

but ik that is selfish so i let her go
nd just lived in the moment so i can keep her safe in the back of my head 

so i just held her tight for those divine 4 days 
under the scarlet sky
while apocalypse was playing in the background

4 dy trip (original)

what was i made for x letter to an old poet

singing out my mind :)
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kushala__k on Instagram 

lacking myself

kushala🍄