As heard on The Dick Show - Episode 115 (1:58:20) https://thedickshow.com/episode-115/
Get more like this at patreon.com/hmwh

Inspired by and containing samples from "Fuck Women" performed by @assburger-2
Listen now: https://soundcloud.com/assburger-2/fuck-women
Used with permission from Assburger.

Lyrics and Vocals: @lakembra
Production: @lakembra, @aciou & @samglaze
Mix/Master: @samglaze
Art: @CalloftheDeep (twitter)

Lyrics:
I love big chicks, fatties, girls with titties like beef patties flapping while they jumping jacking 
Doesn't matter, Imma fuck em like a jackhammer 'til my dick shatter,  it's open slather 
I'll attack her like a raptor, grab her, slap her, whack her with my battered sav

See, It's like a deli platter, imma have cold cut sluts for lunch
Roll her up and take a bite of that cunt, lemme at it, 
I'm an addict, blowin' up pussy like an Arab in a 747 

9/11 all over again! But it's between your legs now,
You'll never forget how your snatch is ground zero and my dick is the real hero
Gushing like the Rio, grab my speedo and I'll dive right in.

I digress, I must stress - BBW is trouble if you ain't humble 
See, it takes a man of courage to handle a woman of baggage 
She'll do damage to your undercarriage if you are weak of will

Still though, it's worth the risk of snapping your dick off
While attempting lift off, let's pray it's like Apollo, not Challenger
No amateurs, pros only, take it slowly homie!

Lick her up like caramel, animal magnetism is in the air, 
It isn't fair, come on lady I gotta nut over here, you're teasing me (pretty please) 
I ain't kiddin' those titties are like a fertility goddess and I'm giving it up to you

I'm done with skinny bitches they will never live up to you
I'm bursting outta my breeches and I'm ready for a little snu snu with you 
Let's screw. I really mean it I'm in love with the chub, It's true...

Chorus
(Fat Women) They fuckin rock
(Fat Women) Yeah they'll suck your cock man 
(Fat Women) Like it's made outta chocolate
(Fat Women) I'll never stop lovin' em

Fuck that shit, bitch I gotta get a response on this
I showed you my dick so you better get up on this 
Act quick now before I ditch you for a better model
Slimmer and trimmer, hotter, more flexible, sex-able model 

I don't know what you been smoking but I bet it doesn't rock you (Like my cock do)
Stop you dead in your tracks and knock your socks off too, you'll be getting wetter by the second, 
Better get a towel or seven to soak up the mess that you'll be making

No mistaking it, get a taste of it you'll never be faking it
And if you do you may wind up dead - suicide. two bullets to the head
I got a reputation to protect. Wait...

(mic check, mic check. maybe you misheard me so I'll say it slower again)

It's time to get in and put out, and shut up and get down
Piggy's mouth is like a mini but my dick is like a clown and Imma see if I fit in it, 
Grinning like Barnum, sucker born every minute this bitch is in it to win it 

So I put her on a spit and pivot til she begs to quit it, hit it like a comet,
Gag and vomit on my linen, screaming stop it but I block it with my cock
Dumb thot, nobody tells me "stop" unless they wanna eat my Glock and get shot dead

Bad end for one so young, dumb and full of hot lead (Press F to pay respects)
Plenty of whales left in the sea I'm swimming
Sing it with me "There's nothing inherently wrong with fucking Fat Women"

(Fat women) They fuckin rock
(Fat women) Yeah they'll suck your cock man 
(Fat women) Like it's made outta chocolate
(Fat women) I'll never stop lovin' em

HMWH Singles

Fat Women

As heard on The Dick Show Episode 133 (01:30:00): https://thedickshow.com/episode-133/
Special thanks to Peach Saliva for the guest vocals.
Find Peach on 
Twitch: twitch.tv/PeachSaliva 
Twitter: twitter.com/PeachSaliva

This track is brought to you by our Big Dick Patreon sponsors (Dec 2018):
🍌 688as
🥩 BigBeef
🌽 Dyc3
🥒 Jess
💩 My hero and lover George.
🍒 No_Nuts
🍠 Teddy Bear's Europe

Support the Hard Men Working Hard at patreon.com/hmwh
Pledge now to receive: 
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Lyrics:
[Festive Screaming]

HMWH Christmas Parody Song 0001 (feat. Peach Saliva)

Hard Men Working Hard Christmas Parody Song 0001

Mortal Kuckbat

Welcome to the podcast, I have a huge announcement
So many weekly voters, dude I had to stop countin'
Still I can't compete with that bunker atop a mountain
Plus Ronny wants to leave so I'm finally fuckin' bouncin'

Legal debt's stalking me, I'm constantly hounded
I still haven't paid for those typos Landau did
The weight on my grave as Dick dances? Astoundin!
But when it comes to talent IN my body? Zero ounces

Now Dick and his Morlocks are toasting their beers
Boasting, shitposting and roasting their peers
It's me you should thank for your online careers
As you guys monetize all my blood sweat and tears

I've tried through the years but just keep getting staler
Another nerd podcast? It can't be a failure!
New co-host has boobies I can't wait to nail her
“I'm in Ooga Booga, see? Here watch the trailer”

Now Haley's so starstruck, out meeting at Starbucks 
went so well I think that I'll be her new star cuck
So much in shit in common - careers are both dyin
Both think we're still young, both love Degrasse Tyson

Let's hop into my shower girl, it doubles as a science lab
It's also great for sobbing when life's troubles have you kinda sad :(
Lights, camera, goggles oh, it's totally safe babe
Let's see if you can block the stream using only your face, k?

B==D~~~~~~~~ "Yeeeeah I fucking love science. You fucking love sicence, bitch? Gargle this science you bitch. It's not degrading if I'm a feminist."

Goodbye Maddox, Hello George
Dismantle Militia, assemble "G-Force"
Still havin' fuckin' trouble fixin' this damn door
Landau's in the back yard pukin' on all fours

Goodbye Maddox, Hello George
Haley sounds like, a dumb whoooore
But hey don't be sad it's not like I'm done for
Just say goodbye to Maddox and say hello to George

Now the name mighta changed but this brain's still the same
And the name of the game's make you say “what a shame
Man I loved all his shit checked his site every day
Now he constantly begs" "Run a train on my dame!"

Now I got real sneaky, took a page from that Greek book
Found a writing partner from UCB see look
Looks like Jodie Foster, sounds like Jodie Foster
Told her she'll be famous, asked what's it gonna cost her

Let me spread the hips then you hold my hand
“K” she says “My grandson's a real big fan”
You're welcome, now time for more experimental showering
This time you swallow all the piss “oooooo that sounds empowering”

God, you're so hilarious! Dave Clegg is gonna lose it
Hey, you read that email regarding the new bit? "Which One?"
Where we just watch movies and I touch all your nude bits
Then gently blow air on your hole like a flutist

I'm king, you're queen let's do some kissin
Fuck you, Karl! These podcasts are bitchin'
Babe I'll make you famous but dude, just listen
If you ever try to leave I'll have a new ex mission

These Dickwarts on Discord still think that they hate me
But they're mad at Maddox! I'm George "and I'm Haley! :)"
(She thinks that she's talented...bitches be crazy)
Hehehe George you're just killin' it lately!

Thanks Maddox so true, no need to debate that point
Where's Haley live? Let's find out then we'll case the joint
Late at night, flashlights on, search through her garbages
“Look! A used condom!""I'm jealous""I'm hard as shit"

Shit! Yo she woke up! I scurry like a cock-a-roach
Hit her with some glitter then run off like I'm Apostrophos (https://www.patreon.com/kokopuffs)
Fuck I think I blinded her! "Phew guys, that was awfully close"
Heather, why are you here? “I'm stealin' Haley's pantyhose”

Sean in the bunker on Sunday, please help me
I'd like everyone to think our friendship's still healthy

When I say "Bye Maddox", SEAN say "Hi George"
Bye Maddox  _____________

Now when I say Bye Maddox, DICK say "Hi George"
Bye Maddox  "Hi George!"
Bye Maddox  "Hi George!"

Hello George

Now my fans don't act like they used to before
And they're burning my books in the street
But this crown still rests on my big shiny head
And at least my website is ad-free
And Haley I will be bugging you 'til you sleep with me
And baby our show could maybe just go for eternity 
And I'm not a lolcow
Dullards took the bait, no spaghetti sperg today
Hehe I have the upper hand
Oh me? I'll just keep e-mailing every single day
'Til you give up those bags of saaaand
So Haley now
Take me into your spreading hips
While my laptop is blasting Godzilla flicks
Just promise you won't sleep with Dick
I'm not a lolcow
Times are tough I sold my car
Now my hair's all but gone and my ops are quite gay (quite gay ops)
All my clothes feature video games
But I'll ruin your life if you refuse to stay
Trust me you'll learn to love me okay?
So Haley dig deep intuallectually take a look at me
And baby you'll find the most advanced mind you'll ever meet
And I'm thinking that now 
Dick's away this cuck can play winning back my fans
Baby it's all part of my plaaaaan
I'll just keep pretending everything is okay
While Dick has threesomes at Burning Maaaaaaan
I want them now
Need them teeny Mancini tits
Kiss me please Eskimo style can't reach your lips (cause your nose is big)
Then let's experiment with piss (piss  piss piss)
I'm not a lolcow
Stick with me you'll be a star

I feel cruddy "Still tryna fuck that honey?"
Yeah "For how long?" 7 months "Ohhh buddy :("
I did see her thong tho ;) "Ooo lala that's progress"
Found it in her hamper while I tried on her prom dress
She wasn't really present "Shit" Is there a legal precedent?
"For entering and breaking?" Yeah my heart, she's a guilty bitch!
On Tinder swiping every dude there
"Just show her that you care"

And Haley I smile watching you while you fall asleep
'Cause baby I know where you fucking live so I'm in your tree

Stick with me, you'll be a star
Stick with me, you'll be a star
Stick with me, you'll be a star

Not A Lolcow

My interpretation of the original cowboy www.reddit.com/user/chaoscowboy
Lyrics: https://justpaste.it/3alvq
Context: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/fbdks1/spending_a_relaxing_saturday_morning_enjoying_a/

Mortal Kuckbat

Spinston