abstractions and vignettes of emotion and experience, i hope you enjoy

all beats by elijah david: https://www.youtube.com/@ElijahDavid_

thank you to notahero and shizukesa for helping complete some tracks and provide a unique perspective to the emotions i've felt

atleastitsrainin with notahero [prod elijah david]

lyrics

are you really sorry, i don't believe it
i've been out on the road, catching feelings
watch me lose my fucking mind
girl, i'm drinking all the time
i said i'm going to change my life
i guess we both like to lie

i don't think it's the same, girl, i'm trying to drown my pain
you're just sinking in the sorrow, that is not my fate
girl, i've lived enough for you
don't want to die just because it's true love
yeah, that just sums it up

what control do i got when i'm in your void?
you cut me up to bits and pieces, i'm just like your toy
are you not bored of this?
because i'm sick of this
i wasn't born for this
this is what they mourn for

you can heal up, if you wanted to
you're powerful
i know it's all love, deep inside of you
but i'm warning you
if you take this path, you better see it through
many lives have suffered when they're stunned to move

that's enough
i've suffered enough
we've suffered enough
trust me, i know, in these seas it gets stormyit gets rough
hurts at first, but there is beauty in this stuff
look up to the saints, and they will guide you through the mud

sinking

sinking (thesoundclown)

produced by hero <3
mastered by neerdowell <3

I like this track a lot :)

Lyrics
- - - - -
I’ve gone through everything at least a thousand times (a thousand times)
Why don’t you tell me what you mean and save the time (and save the time)
I threw apologies, as if they weren’t mine (so wastefully)
And after everything you said, you weren’t mine (Just make-believe)

I remember the good times
I remember the bad
All the things we would talk of
How u hated your dad
All the plans for the future
How I’m happy I knew u
I was talking right through you
Now you don’t message back

Hand in hand
You led me back
To lands where in
You left me stranded
I’m the puppet
My heart manned it
I cant go against demands its

Not up to me
So baby spin that fantasy
I’ll lose all reality
As long as you keep feeding it

I love when you deceive me
Love it when you need me
Greed is the poison
That seeps from my needle
Feeble and weakened
Dead by the weekend
Toss and I turn to return to my grieving

Leave me for the graves
Fall into decay
Not another way
And that’s okay
I don’t need to be 
More than memory
Behind your faces
Replaced with
The next one on the chopping block
The places
Vacations
Maybe that’ll rid me from your brain
It’s escaping
Every fucking step you’ve ever taken
Piece of your creation
A mangled demonstration
Of coping in this matrix  
Hoping there's a day
Where we make it to oasis

I’ve gone through everything at least a thousand times (a thousand times)
Why don’t you tell me what you mean and save the time (and save the time)
I threw apologies, as if they weren’t mine (so wastefully)
And after everything you said, you weren’t mine (Just make-believe)


make believe (hero)

Got the Guts [prod. s0ftskelet0ns]

adorer.

prod hollowprpl
guitar by me

lyrics


hes gone now
and all he ever wanted was to be loved
can u calm down 
lately girl i know im messing up
oh im pissed now
and i can only focus what ive done
im a bitch now
i dont think it matters anymore
shut the fuck up
i dont wanna talk about this now
i just thrown up
like 2 or three times , im coming down
im just a no one 
and ill be nothing until im dirt
theres blood in my snot
and in my lungs and it fucking hurts

it costs me my life
cuz i cant be sane again here in my mind
im alone
i see the sympathy die by the window
i really miss what we had
am i too cold?

the constants in my life arent constant anymore 
between you and me im not sober no more
i can die freely, id have no remorse
the meaning of life is to love and mines no more 
oh im horrible

hes gone now
and all he ever wanted was to be loved
can u calm down 
lately girl i know im messing up
oh im pissed now
and i can only focus what ive done
im a bitch now
i dont think it matters anymore
shut the fuck up
i dont wanna talk about this now
i just thrown up
like 2 or three times , im coming down
im just a no one 
and ill be nothing until im dirt
theres blood in my snot
and in my lungs and it fucking hurts

it’s not your fault. [swan dive] (hollowprpl x ash.)

.typical.

mistaken, i feel
i stay in high fields
you stay in ideals
mistakes that i feel

prolly runnin all your life? 
i been runnin all my life

fucked up baby wont u come and save my soul
i stayed just so you could say that i grew old
id change for you baby you cant save it all

but she aint been right
for a minute now
yeah i admit it now
somethin aint been right
for a minute now

i stay in high fields
you stay in ideals

high fields

lyrics:

sitting on the porch
i was hoping you would come home
2 door coupe and the doors are suicidal
i been writing songs i treat my lyrics like a bible
act like you cant hear me when im sitting right beside you 

i dont wanna talk
because you're always starting problems
just to loop around and try to beg for me to solve them
standing in the rain i feel on my skin
as it downpours
going back on shit that i told you i would be down for

sitting on the porch
i was hoping you would come home
2 door coupe and the doors are suicidal
i been writing songs i treat my lyrics like a bible
act like you cant hear me when im sitting right beside you 

genesis (prod. web)

Can you say that she loved you when she never even tried now
 buried in the dirt cause all she do is lie now
 get taken by the night as the cold envelopes your heart
 words that cut deep deeper than any blade parts 

go away 
it’s not like you would stay if I let you
live another day 
keep you buried in my basement 
don’t talk about replacement  

couldn’t even call back and I couldn’t even face that 
baby i am no hero out back with the weed smoke

Zullie the Witch (Feat. nico north)

Krosssbreed