1uh1 (+rubbish)

abstractions and vignettes of emotion and experience, i hope you enjoy

all beats by elijah david: https://www.youtube.com/@ElijahDavid_

thank you to notahero and shizukesa for helping complete some tracks and provide a unique perspective to the emotions i've felt

atleastitsrainin with notahero [prod elijah david]

skinstight [prod elijah david]

[cold/lonesome]:

yeah

it's all in my head, in my head now
let's get together, we can figure this out
you know i love you, that i'd bleed for you
that i'd die for you, i won't lie to you
drugs, they help me with the pain you gave me
weed mixed with the oxy, hope it saves me
you broke my heart in two
i hate the shit you do

[misfiit]:

another MisFiiT Cold lullaby 
we some ugly rockstars 
bitches break our hearts why 
we off percs in these dark times
 
i cant even think straight when your not in my arms baby (no i can’t)
you save me from myself daily when there’s high tide
im not feelin right 
your a sight for sore eyes

it’s criminal we do these drugs bad minerals 
only thing in common 
winter coat on i been shakin off cold in the summer
and you bought it im keepin this bitch fuck you ya


lullaby w/ misfiit [prod. uglystar]

take it from me
devilish habits the fruit from a tree
dont wanna be 
the person they thought 
i would never achieve 
no enemies 
stick to myself 
while they talk about me
dont wanna link
lately theres been too much pressure to think
 7 to 3 
you hear the numbers 
dont know what it means
not what i need
your negative energies 
not what i need
smokin the tree
dont wanna talk 
why you talkin to me
dont wanna link
keepin my distance 
like its a disease

i dont like that shit
pull the light back i
try to keep distant but 
runnin right back
it’s everything that ive wanted 
and its everything that im not
saved seats for summons
flip pages read the lies
reach out for nothing
they took the light
reach out for nothing 
it hurt deep inside
guess that its tough
never get back what i thought was a light
look in my eyes
never a truth from your rhythm despite

7 to 3 (6astard)

everything by me

thank you for being here.
take care; as well as you can, as you are

what i heard whispered "it is all the same"
and i'm tired, of taking on that weight,
i'm wired and i'm trying to find her
you liar, you liar

cups rest beside the bed that keeps the body tied
a slow end, he'll try again yet something isn't right
it's pouring, as water runs the lungs of flooded eyes
the morning has led the wren to question it's own life

doesn't mean it don't exist if you don't feel it
the bat got me taking flight purging all villians
my whole life all i've known is a cold feeling
gripping vices alike, become the known illest
soul-stealing homes appeal him most
taken of his own and made a host
supplement contrived of what he knows
jeopardized, but it don't seem to show

cycling roads end, dividing unknown land
i'd rather be scarred than left deep in the heartless
those cursed of sight find contentment in low strides
somehow he's been alright, yeah right, what a bold lie

what i heard whispered "it is all the same"
and i'm tired, of taking on that weight,
i'm wired and i'm trying to find her
you liar, you liar

halving days, another broken ballad
dissonance within of what is valid
turn your back against it when you hear it,
cowardice convincing you it's fearless
staring down the mirror will suck you in
i do it just to feel it all again
sensitized of strife yet still indifferent
reconnaissance of his creating distance

(4x)
i know it's gonna hurt but i let it,
i know it's gonna hurt, but i let it as i've been, yeah

what i heard whispered "it is all the same"
and i'm tired, of taking on that weight,
i'm wired and i'm trying to find her
you liar, you lia-

thornmade

hope u like =)

tell me if it’s mutual 
tell me that I got you,
I’ve been riding round the town 
im searching so I pop 2 
don’t know what is wrong with me 
just tell me you don’t want to,
don’t know what is up with me 
just tell me that I got you 

you would shoot me right now if you were right here right next to me ,
bitch im laying back in off the dope im off the exctasy,
I don’t hang around that many people I got enemies,
they try and drag me down but im so up, and they so envy me

I’ve been feeling like a ghost do u remember me?
and I don’t think so cuz the smoking blur ur memory 
and I’ve been distant from the ones I call my family 
and i dont think so cuz the smokin blur ur memory

how u ride with a enemy,
crawling over like centipede 
this been all of my destiny
I’ve been tryna new recipe 

I’ve been seeing new entities 
I’ve been silent assassins creed 
I will take down my enemies 
all the devils are watching me

got u [tiresss]

thank you guys for the beat, love all of you deadwood

lyrics
-=-=-=-
I don’t mind
When you don’t find the time
I think I like sometimes 
to be alone
Cause you just twist my words
And you make sure it hurts
I never get hopes up
That you’ll atone

I been back on the pills, shit
I don’t wanna feel this
When the thoughts all flood back
I just kill it
I been up and restless
Hoping for a check in
Praying for a message
Knowing damn well it’ll never come
And I’m not the one
You made sure I knew that
Hearts go flat,
It’s just time that proves that
That's what you said
Misconstrued? 
That’s every word by fucking word

I think everything will turn out for the best. (prod. wraithontheporch x NE'ERDOWELL)

deadwood collective

Lyrics
-=-=-=-
I don’t even wanna go outside
I just wanna stay right here in my room
A thousand chemicals
Consuming everything I do
I try to show it’s all for you
But these intentions never prove
I have my back up to the wall
And I can feel it falling through

Into the quick sand
Feel it like a sixth sense
I’ve been feeling sick since
You said that you miss me
Plucking the six string
I’m feeling misery
Tryna find a melody
To show you what you did to me
Anxiousness a tendency
That tends to get the best of me
I bite this fucking tongue until it splits upon my bloodied teeth

I don’t even wanna go outside

Nah I’ma keep that shit right here
Stabbing my back u don’t fight fair
No time shared
Like why care
Flippin the script and I’m taking a rip from
I don’t know
I don’t care
You don’t even care when I’m right here
Like right here
I’m right here
Girl can’t you hear me I’m right here

I'll die in this room (prod. wraithontheporch)

Prod. michael harrison
go support me homie breck!
https://soundcloud.com/breckenford

Lyrics -

(Swamp)
I’ve seen him bare his fangs but it was all to much to take 
As he leached to everyone and everything that he could drain
Just a shell of one who once had all to give and never break 
I watch him cower at the slightest inconvenience every day 
Oh what a shame 
The man inside the mirrors who I speak of here today 
A monster in disguise who’s only purpose is to
Rob you of your o’ so precious life and dispose of anyone along the way
With us it’s never safe 

(Brecken)

they say i cannot behave i i push em out the way
theyre so used to yelling my name
when they don’t understand my pain
shame ,they can see it in my face
(why do i do this to myself ;( 
i know all i do been vague
just know its all for your sake

yea please dont mind my cane when im 75 yrs lame
look in the mirror and still feel the same
part of me happy but somehow im drained
yea wish i had strength not to feel like this 
(exhale, inhale)
take a deep breath and i still feel sick

(Swamp)

I’ve seen him bare his fangs but it was all to much to take 
As he leached to everyone and everything that he could drain
Just a shell of one who once had all to give and never break 
I watch him cower at the slightest inconvenience every day

(Brecken)

Everyday 
i look to the sky when ima pray
its okay
ima wait for better days
 theyre on their way
so they say

but i been feelin like this way since may, 2022 i knew that i had too much pain
but i stayed
cuz i knew that id make it out this stupid hole
ill drown myself in alcohol when i feel like i did wrong

see a crane in the swamp
Let the drain fill the rain when it fall
(let it fall)
its unlikely that ill make it out of this spot that i been in for way too long but i can hope that this this worth the while
It’d be horrible if i drowned out in the pond
in my socks 
in the swamp

(Swamp) 

Yuh 
Who would’ve thought 
You’d be the one to come in and try and to start playing a god 
I think not 
If I die it’s by my own hand quit trying to tempt me and all of my flaws 
I feel like crashing out, baring fang then returning to my calm 
Burn it all been the time that I’m on 
I’ll relapse and give Brecken a call 

What the fuck is wrong with me 
Like bro it’s good just feed me all this honestly 
And I won’t fight back
Just keep it real if it’s like that 
Am I the iissue like real talk 
I’m so stressed out I scratch at my flesh and pull at my skin till it peels off 
Does isolation really heal all?

(Swamp & Brecken)

Cause I’ve seen him bare his fangs but it was all to much to take 
As he leached to everyone and everything that he could drain
Just a shell of one who once had all to give and never break 
I watch him cower at the slightest inconvenience every day

atleastitsrainin with notahero [prod elijah david]

melmige

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