i’ve been feeling different lately
tryna make sense of the mind that hates me
i follow the orders i’m creating
can’t ruin the flow or my body starts breaking

in the night it’ll catch me up and swallow me away
and i can't fight it off so i let it consume me easily
i wake up and cannot breathe
i’m shaking like i might freeze
there’s no control anxiety
it’s the one controlling me

i tried everything i learned and nothing seems to give me peace
it’s so cruel to happen when there’s no one there to help me
wish that i could live my life without this dumb anxiety
but it’s found me now, it’s what i know only

it’s a nightmare
this phobia is eating me alive
and i can’t fight it
don’t call me just emotional since i did not decide this
and don’t remind me
the trigger’s hiding
i know it’s my head
so don’t keep talking whilst i'm dying

i tried everything i learned and nothing seems to give me peace
it’s so cruel to happen when there’s no one there to help me
wish that i could live my life without this dumb anxiety
but it’s found me now, it’s what i know only

phobia [hollowprpl]

fire in my lungs
the ladder on my tounge
its the only thing that keeps me holding on
when pushing leads to shove
theres something bout your love
it’s the only thing that keeps me holding on
do anything to make us numb 
you’re smart enough to know that’s dumb
my head spinning round like what is going on?
you hate when i make those songs
but it’s just me moving on
take the time heal but healing takes so long

it keeps me holding on
take the photo to remember you my memory ain’t great
all the time you wasted cuz i always show up late
police right behind me every time i switch the lane
i know you doubt me you think everything is fake
said im in love but you can’t see it on my face

fire in my lungs
the ladder on my tounge
its the only thing that keeps me holding on
when pushing leads to shove
theres something bout your love
it’s the only thing that keeps me holding on
do anything to make us numb 
you’re smart enough to know that’s dumb
my head spinning round like what is going on?
you hate when i make those songs
but it’s just me moving on
take the time heal but healing takes so long

fire in my lungs // holding on (mew2)

abstractions and vignettes of emotion and experience, i hope you enjoy

all beats by elijah david: https://www.youtube.com/@ElijahDavid_

thank you to notahero and shizukesa for helping complete some tracks and provide a unique perspective to the emotions i've felt

atleastitsrainin with notahero [prod elijah david]

•Vocals by Vails, Taylor’s Diary & RIP.3.7
•Master by Vails 
•Production by Deatheart
•Artwork by Safehaven

(Vails)
Should we talk for a minute, or just let this decay?
Do you ever still wonder why it ended this way?
If I told you I’m dying every night in my head
Would you stay for a moment, or just leave me on read?
Did you mean all those words that you carved in my skin?
Or were they just echoes you never let in?
If I called you tomorrow just to hear your voice break
Would you tell me you miss me or say it’s too late?
Should we talk for a minute?

(Taylor’s Diary) 
I been in my head for a minute now , It’s been so hard tryna figure out  , why you tried to break me you still got in my bones and decayed me , from being the person I am , 


Coulda said that we’re done coulda said that we’re  over , it ain’t like we know eachother sober ,now my heart ain’t gone heal til October , 
I came along from the person I was when I sat down and cried to you, confined to you , 

I never once told a lie to you , even though u did a time or two , 
iF YOU EVER WONDERED WHY WE ENDED THIS WAY , CAUSE YOU NEVER NOTICED I WAS WALKING AWAY, YOU FUCKED UP MY BRAIN AND PUT EVERY TEAR DOWN MY FACE , JUST KNOW THAT IM NEVER OKAY 

(Vails)
Should we talk for a minute, or just let this decay?
Do you ever still wonder why it ended this way?
If I told you I’m dying every night in my head
Would you stay for a moment, or just leave me on read?
Did you mean all those words that you carved in my skin?
Or were they just echoes you never let in?
If I called you tomorrow just to hear your voice break
Would you tell me you miss me or say it’s too late?
Should we talk for a minute?

#emotrap #trap #emo

minute of conversation (feat. Taylor’s diary & RiP.3.7)

lyrics ⬇️

when you call me
i wont pick it up
you should know this
yea you shoukd know this
and im not sorry
you shoulda noticed
i was there for you yea i swear i was closest

look how the flow switch
i know that they gon love it
thought everything was picture perfect until
you had broke it
you broke it
now i can’t even focus
not inside of my room or when im at work but im hoping

wonder when ill get outta my head out my headspace
im locked inside my skin when i scream they dont hear me
so whats the reason i should be here clearly
i shouldn’t
i know its not alright but ima keep it keep it pushing
and i dont wanna lie but i been doing what I shouldn’t 

they dont wanna see me happy but im chillin here im grinnin
i dont wanna see you they think that im crappy im a villain
maybe that is true
but i refuse to see that vision 
i dont wanna lose my hope if i dont have to

i got bad news
you wont see me no more ima be way past you

should i (hostile)

lyrics<3

girl you tore up that apartment
when we started growing cold

someones daughter, needs a father
but he left her all alone

left the bar when i was carded
wasent 21 years old

took my heart, now its discarded
whyd you use it as your own?

last ditch, i rest my eyes in a parked car
so sick i left my wine on ur bar cart
time ticks and love will leave u with a dark scar
words slip and i think you just took it too far

where do we go?
im stuck on the outside
been losing control
been losing my damn mind
but you’ll never kmow
our loves on a faultline
turn me to stone
when im gazing at ur green eyes

baby i think thats toxic
maybe you think im all wrong
one word and im changing the topic
suprised myself that im moving on

yet u coiodnt care less
7 days same clothes got a loose neck
i was down on my own like a reject
pardon my problems i feel like a nuisance

last month i saw your mom in that walmart
on lunch i shed some tears on my carhartt
as kids we measured heights and left a door mark
we grew quick it’s such a shane we didn’t go far

fault line [jacob vallen]

I'M BACK BABY
I've been cooking up a ton of songs, so regular posts are in order. 
This time for real (:


cool feats coming too, keep an eye out
loved making this with my boy wraith <3

amv made my itai/itoshi: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AerAym1RlfQ
lyrics:

(2x)
oh timing never even really mattered to me
that’s how I keep my balance
I get by on my feet
oh separate me limb by limb 
and sell me for scraps
then you tear apart my packaging
and kill me out back

Oh girl I know
sense that I should go
I should run for cover
try and make it past the oaks

brush up on the trunks
I got resin on my clothes 
as seasons change
I hide my face like
leaves under the snow

fuck I create
the weight
that sits on my back
so many days
to waste
just cut me some slack

fuck I create 
the weight 
that sits on my back
can’t win the chase
this place
it follows my tracks

[wraith]

Stuck below the water
I’m for sure a goner
I know I could cry for help
But I don’t wanna bother

So fucking sick of this
Barely improving
I’m feigning my ignorance
Blowing my smoke
And you barely believe it
Tryna cope
But I’m thinking of leaving

I’m burning the candle from both ends
I watch it igniting my canvas
The pictures I’m trying to paint and
I don’t know how long I can take this

Watch you go
Right out that door
I give it up cause
I’m all out of arguments
I lose control
Just like before
I’m spiraling cause
I think I’ve had enough of this

resin w/ wraith (wraithontheporch)

lyrics

soon ill find out this shit taste like water when its late
i hope you satisfied my face stuck gray
youre gold, but i wear silver chains
yall make sure my funeral dont happen in the rain
they counted forty arrows when they made the case
i swear these crows dont do nothing for you except get you stuck
baby my cart is low so when we chill can you bring the blunt
cause im tryna smoke
im tryna smoke so much
im not the same man that you thought you knew
how better i was

i been pouring up some purple potions gotta better my flaws
youre right that i aint get the notion but still i called you
i think you think i have it easy baby what would you do if you were me
but who is me
swear im better off writing my eulogy
im so full of me
at the same time felt a decline in the way that im viewing me
im scraping up rust off my armor maybe that way i could get clean
i feel the atoms that make my being whole just fold and rot and die
she pour out red wine but she rolling brown eyes
i cant fight this battle baby theres a thorn in my side
it feels like too much energy just to try to survivie
i got none left im giving out pieces of my soul for this shit but the songs dropping right?
the songs drop on time
i fought a hard battle but the sword has dulled through time
i put this lighter to the blunt and watch it shine
it look just like a shooting star when im passing by

soon ill find out this shit taste like water when its late
i hope you satisfied my face stuck gray
youre gold, but i wear silver chains
yall make sure my funeral dont happen in the rain
they counted forty arrows when they made the case
i swear these crows dont do nothing for you except get you stuck
baby my cart is low so when we chill can you bring the blunt
cause im tryna smoke
im tryna smoke so much
im not the same man that you thought you knew
how better i was

better i was

thought u knew how better i was

scraping off the rust (p. kaydo)

[Pre-Chorus]
Riders on the storm 
riders on the storm
Thunder and lightning that they bring when they come 
riders on the storm.
\n Riders on the storm. 
Woe to those that do not see the warning in the sky,
 riders on the sky rioters in the sky, 
riders on the storm riding those horses through the home.
 The light from the thunder and lightning breaks through the darkness that big brain through the storm riders on the storm,
hear  Them howl on the storm ygyip yay yippee Kai, yo Kai yay yip coyo.

[Intro]  
Riders on the storm, riders on the storm  

[Verse 1]  
Thunder and lightning that they bring when they come,  
Shadows chase the night, no place to run.  
Woe to those who don’t see the warning in the sky,  
Riders on the sky, rioters flying high.  

[Chorus]  
Riders on the storm, they break through the night,  
Mounted on power, chasing the light.  
Through the dark they roar, horses strong and warm,  
Feel the lightning strike—riders on the storm.  

[Verse 2]  
Breaking through the silence, the thunder’s deep call,  
Riding through the chaos, no fear to fall.  
Big brains through the storm, wise eyes never worn,  
Couriers of danger—riders on the storm.  

[Chorus]  
Riders on the storm, they break through the night,  
Mounted on power, chasing the light.  
Through the dark they roar, horses strong and warm,  
Feel the lightning strike—riders on the storm.  

[Outro]  
Riders on the storm, forever they ride,  
Echoes of the tempest, wild and untied.Riders on the storm riders on the storm
Thunder and lightning that they bring when they come riders on the storm.\n Riders on the storm. Woe to those that do not see the warning in the sky riders on the sky rioters in the sky, riders on the storm riding those horses through the home. The light from the thunder and lightning breaks through the darkness that big brain through the storm riders on the storm[Intro]
Riders on the storm, riders on the storm  
Thunder and lightning that they bring when they come  

[Verse]  
Woe to those who don’t see the warning in the sky  
Riders in the sky, rioters flying high  

[Pre-Chorus]  
Riding those horses through the swirling dome  
Light from thunder breaks the darkness, coming home  

[Chorus]  
Hear them howl upon the storm, wild and free  
Ygyip yay, yippee Kai, yo Kai yay yip coyo, hear the plea  

[Bridge]  
Through the raging winds and lightning’s raging call  
Riders on the storm, they conquer and they brawl  

[Outro]  
Riders on the storm, forever they perform  
Thunder and lightning guiding through the stormhear  Them howl on the storm ygyip yay yippee Kai, yo Kai yay yip coyo.



atleastitsrainin with notahero [prod elijah david]

melmige