Jenni No Mercy as Ed
RaccoonBroVA As Sheen

Beat by Tristan
Written by Jenni No Mercy
Mixed by Raichous
Thumbnail by Tony Rigatoni
Additional Help By Raichous 


SHEEN
You wanna face the Sheen-ster? Well he can be quite mean, sir!
With disses that hit harder than both Kevin and your sister!
I’m stopping world destruction, you can’t find cash for sugar
I wouldn’t even pick you if you were the last booger!
You wanna step up, chump? I got the Eye of the Tiger!
Don’t need the Candy Maker for me to spit fire!
Because Estévez gets the best of this!
You’d need your elevator to get your bars higher!
Hated by your whole town, every scam causing drama
So Lumpy, lame and soft, Carl thought you were a llama!


ED
I’m up against the best dummy from Nicktoons? Fantastic!
It’s great to finally meet the gu- Oh wait, you’re not Patrick!
I am the Ed-est of the Eds! Face Monobrow? You’re dead, man.
Your jokes remind me of Double D: Boring and dead pan!
Ed is a monster, you’re just a castaway
Without your luck? You wouldn’t last a day.
Gave you a spinoff, left fans of the past ashamed
Act like you’re Jimmy ‘cause You Gotta Blast away!
Run back scared to Retroville! The Ed boy gives a lickin’
But I'll still have a soft spot for you: I love CHICKENS!

SHEEN

That's the best you got? That backfired like Eddy wrote it!
You must’ve swallowed a jawbreaker, Ed, because you’re choking!
I thought Dimsdale was 2D, but nothing compares to the Cul-de-sac
Your friends wanna take a page from Plank: their personalities are flat!
For all the girls you loved before? You never had a chance with them
Meanwhile I’d risk my life for Libby, and still make time to dance with them
The Big Picture is, your show blows! You couldn’t be more dreary!
You winning this fight is just as likely as The Purgatory Theory!


ED
Do not taunt the Claw! I’ll beat you in a jiffy!
Can I break tracks like I break houses? You bet your sweet bippy!
I just wanna be everyone’s chum, but your voice I just can’t stand
You’re less of an Ultra-lord and more of a Junk Man!
With Chunky bars, I’m Puffed up! Winning is a piece of cake! 
I’m rising high above you: 5’9” give or take!
Don’t need a pebble in my shoe for my raps to get crazy!
I’m done with this no neck chump. I got the gravy!

Ed Vs. Sheen(Prod. By Tristan)

Matt Raichous as Scooby-Doo
Clever Chaos as Garfield
Mixed by Near
Beat: Curtains by Dansonn
Written by EatMoPizza and Matt Raichous
Art by EatMoPizza

Lyrics:

I knew I’d have to deal with some creepy freak again
But I see you’re no ghost; you’re not dead, just deadpan
You act so lifeless in every one of your strips
I’d be more frightened by your creepypastas than your quips

Sleuthin’s top dog ’gainst the top lasagna hog 
Not a proper icon, just a bulbous-eyed con
Memes and merchandise are the only things keeping you known
Clinging to your relevance like a plushie in the window

Should have sent Odie instead to get a fairer bout
Even I’d lose my appetite when selling out to Paramount
You’ve got no appeal with the newer generations
While I’m known across the nation as CN’s spooky sensation


This ain’t a hydrant, so quit taking the piss
You’re not solving mysteries, you’re playing coppers with some kids
So don’t drag this onto my street, I’ve got the shots to end ya
Though I’d say you dodged a bullet getting dropped off at Velma

Listen, I’ve lead a lengthy legacy of lethargy
but even speeding on all fours you won’t get a leg up on me
When you tend to flee, screaming at each feeble phony freak
Chop you into five puppies, you’re running like Air Buddies
 
While I’ve been livin’ large since I hit papers the seventies
Get more laughs in my sleep than you running on ABC
Clueless mutt, ya really think you’re ranking up there with the greats?
Looks like the weak’s about to start again; I hate this Mun-Dane


With each new iteration, you fail to appeal
This fat cat stacks cash like our monsters are real
With your creepy CG incomplete, we’re learning it’s true
That every single new creator is just as lazy as you


Like Nicky Flowers in a battle, ‘cause I’m ranking at the highest
While you’re stuck pushing up daisies, disappear like Garfield Minus
‘Cause this tabby’s stuck in tabloids, I’m a prime time pup
Sitting in your recliner’s the only time you get a leg up

On the air for half a century, catching criminals with ease
Grabbing greedy grimalkins with speed Garfield’s never seen
While the only thing this glutton’s ever caught’s a couple Z’s
But tonight you’ll get some exercise running away from me


HB barely bears a name this day and age
Talking down about my shows like your reboot’s all the rage?
I’ll bash your straight to DVDs straight back to VHS
You hold onto relevance ‘bout as well as you do your girlfriends


It’s been decades since a single viewer called you groovy
Warner finds you so taxing that they’d write off a finished movie
But didja think that flick would top the box office at Christmas?
Please, a single Sunday paper would have been a bigger hit

Even spiders bother me less than to hear you spitting
This “timeless” classic’s dated, left wondering “Who’s S-s-scared?”
But I can answer what they’ve been asking since the beginning
“Scooby Doo, Where Are You?” To be true, no one cares.

Scooby-Doo vs Garfield - Verses Mode (ft. Matt Raichous and Clever Chaos)

I simply did this for fun, don't ask.

Shadow the hedgehog vs Muscle Man - Rap Off!

Shadow: Titanium1208
Muscle Man: CornCob7178 
Beat produced by: Lezter
Written by: CreeperPasta, CornCob7178 and box
Thumbnail by: CreeperPasta 
Art by: Tompuffs
Mixed by: box

Shadow:
You gotta be serious. This is my challenge? You gotta remember the monsters I've dismembered
The villains I've beaten... Green Eggs And Ham; your lifespan is about to be as short as your temper
I’ve seen better pranksters on YouTube. You and your crew knew I don’t fuck around with trolls
So stop the cap or I'll pop a cap on your tail before you start to rap. Heads gonna roll
Outrace me with a golf cart? (Ha!) This slobs dire…
Watch your entire front yard turn to a bonfire!
High-Five’s missing a finger, now thats in poor taste
You’re pals cause neither can even live up to your names
I’ve got more weapons than a war general
Got more green than that DAMN 4th chaos emerald
You live like a pig and behave like an asshole
Rigby changed his name, but you’re the real Trashboat
Speaking of such, what’s up with Starla? Big the Cat is smaller than her in comparison
You’re both alike, squealing and whinning like babies when you don’t get each others attention
It's not the first time a game boss leaves you smoked
Even if you try to win with your repetitive joke
The second your mom is dissed, you start to fit
Like The Hammer’s leg, Mitch should just drop the bit

Muscle Man: 
Yo Rigby! I think I found your emo cousin!
I tell you to make some sense/cents, but with so many ends in your game, this hogs worth nothing
You say I'm dirty, have you seen your fandom lately?
They're scaring away all the ladies!
But I'm not worried, I've got my Starla
Who do you have? Your own shoulder to cry on?
Oh no bro, watchu think you doin' with that strap? Take that away and don't bring it back
I can hear Linkin Park in the background. Tried to stay underground but that shit's wack
You're too slow, bro! Like a Pokémon I do not catch. Gun smoked that Maria pack. 
You low budget Mewtwo. Go back to Gerald to cry in your puny lab! Rat! 

Shadow:
Naming my lost ones? Careful or it might fire back. Ask Muscle Dad
At least that fraud died to a bear, you almost died chugging hot dogs, man
You don’t want this smoke, last time you shot fires you got skinned in the woods
So if you take it there, I’m taking it further- psssst, that’s something you don’t wanna do

Muscle Man:
I remember you was conflicted, but you went through a few changes, haven't you?
I'm not talking about super. You know who else got hoed by IDW?
You know who else has amnesia but can't forget the mistakes they have done?
You know who else says “Nothing personel, kid” and lets their friends die? My mom! 

Shadow:
No bars left? I'll shoot opps next. I don't need guns
Drop a bead on Pop's head? That's a bit fucked
Your pop's dead and your mom's next. That is real, son
Four punchlines full of lead, that's a Fist Pump
Like your family tree, this won't get beautiful
I hope you know a guy who can arrange your funeral
If I hear any more edgy jokes, I promise
I'll do you way worse than what you did to Thomas

Muscle Man:
You’re so ungrateful. If it wasn’t for the fans you wouldn’t be here today
You were created to save a life. Mariah would be ashamed of those you took away
Riding alone with your regrets, every chance he gets more repressed, and what for, brother?!
This ultimate waste of life form just got buried by a gardener 

Shadow the hedgehog vs Muscle Man-Rap Off! (ft. Titanium1208 & CornCob7178)

Recorded December 2024

Prod by KaalaH

gilg

I’M IN THE ASIAN CONTINEEEEEEEENT

I heard you got a long tail/tale
Imma grab and rip the spine attached if you gon bail
Talk smack but under the cover, you would rather run and flee from your crew
Yapping with no action, funnily your book is too

Yeah, I made this wannabe, ‘son’ is true
I was king first, you just Monkey See Monkey Do
But I guess that goes a bit of both ways, huh?
When you’re - BOW BOW BOW BOW - hit with the laser

But nah, I’m more of an axe thrower so if you stand closer
Taoist poem shit, splitting headache that make ya scalp sore
And that’s for damn sure if you’re disrespectful
You should be used to messed up temples

You ain’t even contendin
The Great Sage smoking great sage if you thinking that you’re equal to heaven
What I meant is, I’m saving the land from you, Sun
You know you can’t escape from these hands, like Buddha

sun

Woah there fella…
You’re a broken record, your own story’s split up
You’re a broken record how I do so much better- wait
I’M the broken record. I keep fighting tyrants, you’re not even worth the effort 

I wonder, is this guy the perfect ruler?
He sure does measure in height, but shortens futures
I fuck up festive nights, ain’t first to do it
You took em wedding brides, inserted grooming

Like, homie damn, I’m sporting the golden band
So it hurts thinking how you waste gold and bands
All for a statue honouring a fallen friend
He’s clay molded! Just use his corpse instead!

gil

Then I’ll take this stone monkey, be a stand-in or be shattered
I’ll honour Enkidu by teaching this beast manners
You’re ignorant to what pains your people
You see no, speak no, hear no evil

Grow up and get with the times, it’s not something you’d know of
You’ve been under a rock, Iraq’s what I’d rule over
From eating pills to scribbling on a page
Of course you’re immortal, this kid never had to age

sun + clones

Oh yeah? So Gramps couldn’t bear it like I did
For you, that’d mean, uh… forever-life crisis
But kick my ass? I’ll kick ya ten times back
Ask the clones, monkey’s known to throw shit like that (shit like that)

YO HOLD IT DOWN! Like what you told your pal
Before you found it cursed him to choke on bile
Recounting your old story’s wild.
How’d he really croak and die?
A load of bull is why

I’ll impart to you my wisdom and secrets
When I help you turn into a shit ton of pieces
They’ll find him fractured like the first time that they found his tragedy:
Evidence of a crowd of animals and catastrophe!


the last battle of my anti slump era and also the last battle of this little event thing. ive had gilgamesh vs sun wukong as an idea for a while, but never got to making it just because i had to think ahead when making battles and finding a middle eastern va was a whole thing i didnt want to deal with, which is fair enough i think. when i got the idea to write this as an anti slump battle, i got excited cause i love mythology and folklore and literature and shit, and i really wanted to implement more stuff i learned from battle rap not only writing-philosophy-wise but fun-reference-wise.

on that note, i based gil’s writing on not only diz’s aggressive story writing but sorta real sikh’s writing style too since ive recently become a big fan of sikh and his style. i based sun off of battlers like rone and pat stay, specifically their “rapping” style where they just have fun w rhymes and flow and vibe w it. i previously tried to apply battle rap style to my peacock battle, and i think this one is a good evolution of that.

i think this battle couldve easily had third verses since theres a lot of shit i didnt touch on both sides, but the beat doesnt rlly fit a longer length, and making long ambitious battles isn't really the goal for anti slump battles. i just wanted to write some fun shit to hone my writing without worrying about the stress of making serious stuff, and that mindset made the process much more enjoyable for me.

Gilgamesh VS Sun Wukong - 12 Bars of Dissmas

Chief Chilly vs. Chill Bill - Mario vs. Anything

TQ as Chief Chilly

Gnome as Chill Bill

Cover Art by Jort

Mix by Jort

Written by King Ducky

Chief Chilly:
Oh Chief Chilly!
Ill run you down, don’t be silly 
Beat a Dj with a freeze ray fore the Troll tweaks: singing 
Your memes dead and gone 
a Beef-headed pawn
themes’ set in stock
So go lip-sink in some cringy rhymes
BillyVa-nilli Ice!

Chill Bill:
Freeze! Hands in the air! My bad, whoops that
might get push back 
He’s demanded the heir? He can’t even jump
Chiefs stranded in there: beaten clean and popped

Defamed and quick-tempered you're whining
Disdain as the temperature rises
You'll be a puddle in a pothole
The end of your reign is a regular climate!

Chief Chilly:
For that your arrest is nigh but your trapped for the rest of time
so confess to them: you’re a beat-up peach fuzz and your. deaths. tonight.
What else can I jest you as? Detest the brief success you had?
Sure, hang your head up high… well, the best you can

Little slave
Bound to a crystal cage 
Sounds you have brittle strength 
While you blast one attack, something that a ground troop can whiff away
Bow you fad fickle flake
Pass away to blistering time 
As the game you live in died

Chill Bill: 
A crazy piece of snow with a crust-jammed moustache is facing me?
Maybe he makes a scene when Glazey sees my stash's greatest peaks!
The old weirdo dumps a mass of change when beat
His plunging balance is like the arena he jumps and smashes: below zero! 

I'd be using that spike on ya head or you'll wind up spiked off an edge brother
Ya might want a tip: Ice blocks shouldn't have frights of gelid water
I aim to freeze! You face a team and they dip you into a lake to sink
Guess he ain't the chief of a crew of Naval fleets

Chill Bill vs. Chief Chilly - Mario vs. Anything [ft. ThanosQauck & Gnome]

Clarence the Duck as Mr. Frog
TheToppo as Red Guy

Beat by composition x

Mixed by Box
Graphic Design by Box

Illustrated and Written by Teimunity

(SCRAPPED BATTLE) Red Guy vs. Mr. Frog

Have you ever thought about capitalism? Yeah, so have I while making the 28th AORB. Today, we have the man who is the mascot for the most popular board game in the world, Mr. Monopoly, going up against Nintendo's earliest creation in the gaming industry, Mr. Game and Watch! Who would roll the dice and land on the correct property to win? Listen and find out!

Lyrics/credits:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NBxjDFEDq16pSl9FvofqM-ivitBvUUed8YQ389pLppE/edit?usp=drivesdk

Mr. Monopoly vs Mr. Game and Watch - Acting Out Rap Battles

hi

Beat produced by Surce
Mixed by Dr. Dee
Written by Worms

ColeTheCole as Bigfoot
Dr. Dee as Luigi

Lyrics:

Bigfoot:
You'll find, in my countryside, nothing that you were coached for
So run and hide from this fucking icon of gaming folklore 
Crept ‘round the code since 04, they cut you out day zero
Couldn't even take second place when your brother's still the hero?
Leaving hunters screaming crazy when stepped up to seek and maim me
I'll prove stereotypes right when I eat up this weakling baby
But maybe you'd fit my diet, this fruit just shoots and blows up?
Eternal star’s fried, gassed up then died, supernova
Don't throw a clue in the direction of a load of stupid youths that are all betting 
That you'll show up, new; so duped then get all petty when they do it all over again for Waluigi
And I'm feeling greedy, take that bounty on your head and
You don't gotta haul your vacuum to come suck on this legend 
When ya step into my damn den, you better hit up all your pen pals
To write a reply letter on how Luigi's fucking dead now

Luigi:
It's pareidolic, kid, if you see plays where you're winning this
When my plaques text is clearer than your countless glitching clips
Perhaps you should get CJ to relay ya some steep pay 
Just to rank up enough gold to summon this king (aye!)
I get introversion, but it likely got in the way
When your whole species decayed cuz you couldn't quickly get laid
I'm not entertained, and while I'm used to savin’ strays in paintings 
Can't say if jpegs in Photoshop equate to the same thing 
So call up Leatherface to mask the shame of coming second place
To a better gaming fable on the net and it's
Quite insane the only footprint you left in your game
Was a runaway furry fetishist 
You're tripping Peyotes if you think that you're beating me, Beast 
Dropping bombs like I was removed from GTA 3
But I don't need to blast a bus of your believers ,
To see in your debug you're completely a cheat!
So id stay back in your cabin if we wanna talk leaks; you're delisted while they breached to spot me
No chance on a plan on restarting his populace, devs tossed this freak long before his Hot Coffee 
Ain't got me feeling shaken by the edges of your polygons
I've been left more quaking by hulking apes from even Donkey Kong

Bigfoot:
Hang yourself in my shadow cuz everybody's forgetting ya
No wonder you were cut out because they ran out of memory
It's a goose chase of racing endless laps around your statue
A coin flip in your fountain ain't a wish big enough to add you
Like with Wario, they begged for; now you're obscured by his apparitions
Wide and far they stretched truths for a glimpse of hope you weren't omitted 
This shit isn't Double Dash, your L ain't capped on backwards 
Smoking your ass like Backwoods in the depths of my back woods

Luigi:
Nobody's impressed by those lines or your tears 
You weren't even the focus when you finally appeared 
Call me Dr. Luigi, how I'm curing this mass hysteria
Keep you hiding on Chiliad, no more sightings are flaring up (hahahaha)

Bigfoot In San Andreas vs. L Is Real 2401 - Rap Battle #1

SHEBA - FAST (PROD. SPACEGHOSTPURRP) *LOST STAR RADIO EXCLUSIVE*

#HipHop
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Gangster Trap Underground Rap Hip Hop Chicago EDM Rap Old School Mix 853

Kali-G Rich.For.Ever Active
(Prod. Anno Domini Nation)

Mr. Monopoly vs Mr. Game and Watch - Acting Out Rap Battles

Derpiest Game Blast