Sorry for the messed up levels! 

Lyrics:

Phone face down
Screen got cracked
Said I’d quit
Then I slip back.

Boots in the hall
One sock on
Glass in the sink
oh my god the bourbon’s gone.

Scrolled through drafts
I Didn’t send
Lied I’d stop
Then oh my god I pressed send.

Fridge light buzz
Flickering white
Tongue feels thick
Oh my god my skull feels tight.

I’m not most people
I drink just to fight
I regret every drop.
If I remember it right.

Coat on the floor
Keys by the drain
Bottle cap bent
Oh my god a weird pain
Words came fast
You moved slow
Left the porch
oh my god into the snow.

Room went dim
Thoughts turned loud
Tried to stand
But oh my god I fell down.

I’m not most people
I ruin what’s right
I regret every drop
If I remember it right.

Wiped the mirror
Missed a streak
Same as the thoughts
I never speak.
I swore I’d quit
Even set the date
Laughed alone
Oh my god that's my fate.

Sun broke in
Seared my face
Breath like cigarettes
Oh my god there's no escape.
Called my sister
Voice was low
Said I’d quit
Oh my god She hung up slow.

I’m not most people
I ghost what I love
I regret every drop
If I remember it right.

Sink ran warm,
Scrubbed the cup,
Let it go,
Oh my god that's enough.

Bourbon

This song was written to offer a sensory anchor and create a safe space for anyone moving through a dissociative state or an episode— and can download the song directly for free if you like.  💜🧡🤍
With a gentle, repetitive melody and a steady beat, it provides something tangible to latch onto.  It is meant to feel safe, familiar, and emotionally validating— is meant to help reconnect with themselves and their surroundings without becoming overwhelmed. The calming tempo helps to support natural breathing and heartbeat rhythms, reinforcing presence and inviting a gentle return back to the here and now.


💜🧡
Sunflowers

[Intro]
[vocal harmonies looped around the word barefoot]
I stand barefoot where the wind knows my secrets
and no one’s asking me to explain myself

[Verse 1]
I walk through rows of sunflowers
with my silence intact
they don’t talk
but they’re listening
I don’t have to say what’s on my mind
it’s okay to be quiet

[Chorus]
This is where I can breathe
where I let things go
the wind takes some of it with it
and I don’t have to be brave
It’s calm here
I can end and begin again

[Verse 2]
The soil breathes beneath my feet
tells me—stay you’re enough
even the sun dips down gently
I’ve learned that quiet is tough love
I’m just a small petal falling 
but even the small matter here
I let myself slow down
(and it feels good)

[Chorus]
This is where I can breathe
where I let things go
the wind takes some of it with it
and I don’t have to be brave
It’s calm here
I can end and begin again

[Bridge]
I could say something
but I don’t
the silence is already speaking for me

[Final Chorus]
This is where I come back to myself
where I let things go
the wind takes some of it with it
and I don’t need to pretend
I lose myself to find again
and there’s no need to confess
and here in the silence 
I finally feel at home

Sunflowers

Fading Behind Me

[Verse 1]
I walked the shoreline
barefoot against the wind
sand caught in every silence
waves too tired to even begin

The tide held its breath again
not a promise not a wish
just the calm between each moment
and the sound that never came

[Chorus]
Footprints fading behind me
gone before they reach the sea
I let the wind decide
where I end
where I used to be

[Verse 2]
Loneliness didn’t misbehave
it sighed and turned away
left a warmth I couldn’t handle
and was never meant to keep

The salt air held too many secrets
the sky looked the other way
I kept walking like it mattered
but the ground forgot me anyway

[Chorus]
Footprints fading behind me
like a face no one remembers
I let the wind decide
what to keep
what to leave

[Bridge]
There is no one on the beach now
just the cold
and my retreat
no answers in the tide
just the way it pulls from me

[Final Chorus]
Footprints fading behind me
not even shadows want to stay
I let the wind decide
and it took you away
and it took you away

Fading Behind Me

Embarrassment Saved Me

#songwriter #woman #lost #searching #acoustic #womansongwriter 

Lyrics:
Where is my heart
Taking me now
Across an empty desert
Into an abandoned house
Endless rooms
Empty halls
cries of joy
sobs of pain

Where is my heart
Taking me now? (Taking me now!)

Lost in a dream…
I wish I was.
But instead…
I am trapped in this cage.
They called it life.
I call it imposed.
I wish I could leave 
But where would I go?
(Where would I go?)

Where is my soul
Leading me now?
Across a vacant highway
Into an empty hole
Dark recesses 
Endless space 
Screams of fear
Gasps of life

Where is my soul
Leading me now? (Leaving me now?)

Lost in a dream
I wish I was
But instead
I am trapped in this cage (trapped)
They call it life
I call it imposed 
I wish I could leave 
But where would I go?
(Where do I go?)

Where is my body
Pressing me now?
Against another human
Changing me again, again 
Formless mind
Empty soul
Voiceless pleas
End of life

Where is my body
Pressing me now? (Changing me now?)

Lost in a dream
I wish I was
But instead
I am trapped in this cage
They call it life
I call it imposed 
I wish I could leave 
But where would I go?
Where would I go
Where would I go?

but where would i go?

Sept. 1st, 2025
Having some fun with our '80s Cover Songs :)
Music by Thomas Mierkiewicz @user-297959700
Vocals by Kate Stanton, Written by Neil Moss & Michael James Hucknall
Did you know Mick Hucknall of English soul/pop band Simply Red wrote this heavy lyric when he was just 17? One can hear & feel his painful experience through his emotive vocal delivery.

Thank you for listening to our cover version!!

… Holdin' back the years
Thinkin' of the fear I've had so long
When somebody hears
Listen to the fear that's gone
… Strangled by the wishes of pater
Hopin' for the arms of mater
Get to me the sooner or later
Oh-oh
… Holdin' back the years
Chance for me to escape from all I've known
Holdin' back the tears
'Cause nothing here has grown
… I've wasted all my tears
Wasted all those years
Nothing had the chance to be good
Nothing ever could, yeah
Oh-oh, well
… I'll keep holdin' on
I'll keep holdin' on
I'll keep holdin' on
I'll keep holdin' on
So tight
… Alright
Oh, now
… Well, I've wasted all my tears
Wasted all of those years
And nothing had the chance to be good
'Cause nothing ever could, oh yeah
Oh
… I'll keep holdin' on
I'll keep holdin' on
I'll keep holdin' on
I'll keep holdin' on
… Holdin', holdin, holdin' on
La-la-la-la-la-la
I said, "Ooh, yeah"
That's all I have today
It's all I have to say

Songwriters: Neil Moss / Michael James Hucknall

Holding Back The Years

WASTELAND by Nova J

[VERSE 1]
I’m not quite here, I’m not quite there
I can’t stop scrolling in my underwear
I’m not talking, you’re not talking, just an empty stare
Searching for another body somewhere close to here

[PRE-CHORUS]
If I’m being honest, I knew there was no connection
But I was high, supplies ran dry, and I don’t need perfection

[CHORUS]
Is that a quake? Or do I have the shakes?
I keep taking, you keep taking, how much more can we take?
I am empty in my space, too afraid to see my face

[HOOK]
In this Wasteland, I am
Frozen, ahhh 
Frozen, ahhh
Frozen, ahhh 
Frozen, ahhh

[VERSE 2]
The sun has risen, the sheets are red
Your body like a dead fish, lifeless on the bed
My arms resemble spider webs, this pounding in my head
I really need to sleep, but I prefer to tweak instead

[PRE-CHORUS]
But now I’ve got a problem, the fact is you’re still near
I tell a lie and say goodbye and get you out of here

[BRIDGE]
I hope that you don’t hate me, I hope you’ll understand
It’s not my row, I blame the snow, I’m not that kind of man

[CHORUS]
Is that a quake? Or do I have the shakes?
I keep taking, you keep taking, how much more can we take?
I am empty in my space, too afraid to see my face

[HOOK]
In this Wasteland, I am
Frozen, ahhh 
Frozen, ahhh 
Frozen, ahhh 
Frozen, ahhh 

[VOCAL BREAK]
Ah-ah, ah-ah
Ah-ah, ah-ah

[VERSE 3]
Oh, I swear things will be better this way
There’s a needle hiding somewhere in this burning pile of hay
I did not find it last week or last night and not today
But I know if I keep hunting, I will find true love someday

[VERSE 4]
I refuse to settle, I refuse to compromise
I refuse to tell the truth, and now I’m lost in all the lies
My leather tongue no longer tastes my mother’s rhubarb pie
I’m hiding from the sun, and drinking blood like a vampire

[FINAL CHORUS]
Is that a quake? Or do I have the shakes?
I keep taking, you keep taking, how much more can we take?
I am empty in my space, too afraid to see my face

[OUTRO]
In this Wasteland, I am
Frozen, ahhh 
Frozen, ahhh
Frozen, ahhh
Frozen, ahhh
Frozen, ahhh
Frozen, ahhh
Frozen, ahhh 
Frozen, ahhh

WASTELAND

I miss a smile

I miss a smile
I miss you
The mood is heavy
It won't go away
And meanwhile, time passes mercilessly
It even ages the bones, but the truth
is that I miss a smile
All for me
A sincere hug as you know

And I ask for charity in the street
I ask for warmth or rather a pure and true woman

You are for me the storm and the quiet of my heart
You are for me a hurricane a flower in my hand
You are for me the beauty of sleeping on your breast
You are for me the only one I've given love

I miss a smile
I miss you
You are like the air you get lost in the blue
And the wind pushes you harder and harder

I try to reach you but slowly it pushes you away
It pushes you away pushes you away

You are for me the storm and the stillness of my heart
You are a hurricane to me a flower in my hand
You are the beauty of sleeping on your breast
You are the only one who gave me love

I miss a smile

River of Days

[Verse 1]
Down by the water
a voice moves slow—
it tells me of places
I may never go

Leaves lean closer
whispering my name
shadows fold the shoreline
but nothing feels the same

[Pre-Chorus]
The river bends
carrying time away
I can't match the current
but I wade anyway

[Chorus]
Flow river flow—
take my sorrow downstream
carry all I know
into someone else's dream
I drift where the silence
teaches me to stay—
lost in the river
lost in the river of days

[Verse 2]
There's a figure waiting
in the fog's embrace
her hands are lanterns
her smile a trace

The sky dissolves
into purple mist
I reach but the moment
slips away again

[Pre-Chorus]
The river bends
turning thought to song
I follow where it leads me
even if it’s wrong

[Chorus]
Flow river flow—
take my sorrow downstream
carry all I know
into someone else's dream
I drift where the silence
teaches me to stay—
lost in the river
lost in the river of days

[Bridge]
Water knows the shape of me
keeps it for a while then lets it go

[Final Chorus]
Flow river flow—
take my sorrow downstream
carry all I know
into someone else's dream
I drift where the silence
teaches me to stay—
lost in the river
lost in the river of days

Fading Behind Me

November After Dark