-PRODUCTION/CAST-
Henry Stickmin - Mancha (UBERocity)
Phil Eggtree - Fightmarker​

Written By: Michael Stark, M!CAH, & Mason G

Produced By: Epistra

Mixed & Mastered By: Freshy Kanal

Logo By: Cannibal Worms

Cover By: Commander Jacob

Lyrics:
ANNOUNCER
Let's give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Henry Stickmin
Vs
Phil Eggtree
Begin!

HENRY STICKMIN
The father of Newgrounds is bound to ground this unpunny Flash hack
Who thinks he can step to Stickmin, guess he hasn’t seen my clap back!
Henry chooses Gas Raps to combat Phil’s not-so-Swift sadness
Even your OG design adds up to complete Madness!
I mean, you’re messing with the best mercenary since Red or Blu
My games are a blast when I bring laughs, no one can say the same about you
So riddle me this, if you can, we know you’re not the sharpest bulb in the shed
How can you claim to have fame when you’re put to shame by another egg?
Who’s got a 98% rating on Steam? Me!
Who’s game birthed a dev team and a whole company from a meme?
But then who’s schtick got old fast with each recurring scheme?
Cuz it’s not me who’s cranking sequels just to make ends meet, geez!

PHIL EGGTREE
A whole decade for your first words? I must say, I’m thrilled
In this scrap you’re getting capped, regardless of the gimmicks you instill
Just a bully taking dollars, but got no digits on the weight scale!
So come at me, stick bug, this loss’ll be your 348th fail!
Spitting colder than Zack- er, hotter than Zack, a twig’ll get snapped when I’m on the attack
But if I tried to sit through your whack class I’d end up falling asleep on the track!
Stickmin’s just a Ghost Inmate, so there’s no need to keep my guard up
Hard to Escape Prison when you’ve been surrounded by my bars, huh?
I’ll still be the one collecting coin, while you’re lacking common cents
And after all your countless antics, I’d think you’d grasp some common sense
With all those video game tie-ins, you constantly seem to harp
For one who prides himself on intelligence, that wasn’t very… pointy
Once I crack the case of this basketcase, then he’ll truly see-
That when it comes to tricking teachers or ditching class, I always have the key!
No Valiant Hero, you snitched on the army just to pinch more cash
Just a selfish thief with jealous deeds, I’ve got this in the bag! (Ha!)

HENRY STICKMIN
I toppled the Toppats, Government, Wall, you know I got the sleek flow too
Your whole deal is “bargain bin Ferris Bueller hit with a dash of Pico’s School!”
But if you really wanna compare us, I’ll serve this Egghead over easy
My countless achievements to your minor victories? Hmmm, lets see:
Small startup gains some traction, gauging YouTubers’ reactions
Yet you couldn’t hold a fraction to the sweet deals that I’m packin’
Banks, Prisons, Airships, Complexes, I’ve beat them all, and then-
What did you do, that’s new? Oh yeah! Escaped school… again...
Priceless gems? I steal em; Brighter friends? You need em
I’m Breakin’ Banks and taking tanks, you use plot holes for your freedom!
No matter what you point and click, I top your “Legacy Edition” any day
But it seems like I had no trouble “Completing the Diss-ion” anyway!

PHIL EGGTREE
This beaver’s spittin’ ‘gainst this bread crumb from the internet’s trash can-
Now after countless parodies, this rash distraction’s at his last stand
Tried to capitalize on nostalgia, relying on old, tired game cliches
While I’ve been going strong for many years and I’m still free to play! (Ay!)
Your lines are paper thin, cutting less than your “valid stingers”
I’ve seen sicker stick figure spitters come out of Salad Fingers
No matter what the timeline, that whole verse was your lamest sad jam
Mission Failed! You shoulda stuck with Charles if you wanted the Greatest Rap Plan! (Oh!)

ANNOUNCER
Who was the Flashiest?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
Well, you decide! 
This has been Stark’s Rap Battles, we’ll see ya next time!

Henry Stickmin vs. Phil Eggtree | SRB

Freshy Kanal: 001 (Stranger Things) vs. 001 (Squid Game) - ft. AP West & Snakebite126

Original By Freshy Kanal On YouTube 

Jay Chay As Little Mac

Little Flecks As Big Mac

Little Mac Vs Big Mac (Freshy Kanal Bonus Battle)

Freshy Kanal: Boris Johnson vs The Penguin (feat. littleflecks)

Not mine, this audio belongs to Freshy Kanal
Cam Steady as Steve
Freshy Kanal as Sackboy

Steve:
What's a couple little planets to domains that are limitless?
Your shitty sandbox could be my kitten's litter bin!
I'm a, Smash hit, and a, great digger,
Forget bedrock, I can, break Twitter!
You got some geeks hyped with your PS5 title, yo,
But lost your creativity, now you're stuck in Survival Mode.
Ripping shit from Mario couldn't get you on track, boy,
Stole so many parts that they should call you Ransackboy!
I thought your bubble's burst, so, who would have expected.
That it must've turned to night because the dead's been resurrected!
Yeah, you built all these platforms, your game couldn't get one.
This fool's made of wool, it makes sense that you're slept on!

Sackboy:
Sackboy's the face of space exploration,
You ravage landscapes for exploitation!
Keep raidin' natives to farm up their trades, then.
You'll find me saving a slave population!
What happened to the indie game with blocks, that had you think outside the box.
You went from herding cows to getting milked for every drop.
No one cares about your Dungeons or Pokémon, stop!
How can your world be infinite when you fell off...? *ahem*
So what's poppin? It's the pocket puppet and I'm here to pull the strings!
You got a single hotbar, while I got a poppit full of em!
I'm pullin up the poppies for your funeral, I'll bury you.
6 blocks deep, you see the lava there? I'm daring you!
Your flatland's sacked, yea this sock's poggers!
I'm not bothered, I could drop ya like a hot hopper!
Ain't see a track that bad since you mocked Usher,
Ironic you're leavin' the box office, without a blockbuster!

Steve:
You've dug yourself a hole straight down and can't escape it,
I've seen people fall less flat in sack races.
Your entire sack race is more obscure than your return is,
If you wanna be a hot topic, hop into my furnace!

Sackboy:
Yeah, your memes got you put into Smash,
But is it a shock that they thought to invite ya?
With let's players taking advantage of fans,
All you seem to do right is lure creepers to miners!

Steve:
They say third time's the charm, but you're proof that's a lie.
Since your third game scared off your fans and Stephen Fry.
There's a trillion chance you could get Dream's trades,
Still more likely than someone playing your Dreams game!
Oh dang, guess you're the reason they cut your team quick!
Mojang's just like netherrack, we always keep lit!
Okay, that's how your releases were received then!
Sony's sick of your stickers and shoved them where your seam splits!
Squaring 'gainst my level of experience will cost you,
Couldn't graze my skin when you've been hiding in a costume!
You'd only ever blow up if you self-destruct,
This battle's like The Negativitron, PS: you suck.

Sackboy:
Look, I saved a marriage, Alex said you wrecked yours,
You couldn't last a single round of fuckin Bedwars!
It's the L-B-P MC against Steve, who
Couldn't handle beats with a million of his beetroots!
Swedes used to be neutral until MineCon,
Fired Notch cause he turned Minecraft to Mein Kampf!
Wreckin' the Collector and restoring hope,
You couldn't keep a Stronghold, now there's cobwebs on your Story Mode!
And once your geek fandom sees the damage I've done,
Not even PewDiePie could help you come back from this one!

Minecraft vs. Little Big Planet - Rap Battle!

GamingPlush64 -Pomni vs. Jevil-

Not mine, this audio belongs to Freshy Kanal
McGuinnsBook as Kratos
Mega Ran as Maui
McGwire as choir vocals

Kratos:
Flee or start your prayers to the god of your creation.
If they sent me after you, then you must be forsaken.
I went through Hel's scorching borders and coldest corners in fistfights.
You'd piss your grass skirt if your reputation's on thin ice!
BOY! There was a demigod hated near and far.
He decided no one loved him, so he had to steal a heart.
Was it worth his sense of purpose, changing Earth with dirty tricks?
'Cause once he died, he still had not a single soul that worshiped him!
When the tides turn on this fraud, he falls apart on the spot!
What kind of islander god would sink in water like rocks?
You offered the Earth gifts, but you're shallow on the surface!
You can shapeshift to a bird's skin, but can't change to a better person!
This is my fate; I decide when wars are over!
Cut you into shape; this is how you make a soldier!
You provide for the praise and strengthen your culture,
But when they cry for your aid, you offer a cold shoulder!

Maui:
We all like to goof a little; trust me, I won't judge you.
Although, I don't murder all of Greece; you know, like some do?
I spend my time creating mountains and kingdoms you might cross;
I probably made the island you and your shame like to hide on!
So thanks, but I'm gonna decline the olive branch that you offered politely! (No thanks!)
You've been hiding inside of that ivory tower, so why don't you come down and fight me?
You pray all alone because you eviscerated your only love!
You keep your emotions like coconuts, 'cause I gotta break you to open up!
You say that I'm the one shifting the shape? You play pretend as a Norse deity!
You threw your mythology away like a Spartan's deformed baby!
I rock the boat with the fire that I gave to humankind; I don't take lightly!
So when I'm striking the son of Zeus twice, there's a funeral worthy of fake Vikings!
I got tattoos of all my victories, no sweat!
While the only mark that you've left is yet another one on my chest!
Mine are a map; yours are just ashes to ashes,
Directing to the exactly zero family members you have left!

Kratos:
I was fighting in the field 'til I no longer had chains
While you were marinating inside your man-cave!
Hid away since your parents saw your face and were sickened!
Don't be surprised if I go overboard like you as an infant.
So many wars helmed; I forged through Greece and the Norse realms!
I lived through lives in the damn time that you spent writing an anthem 'bout nothing but yourself!
I chose my solace, while you were just banished away as a lonely convict!
Your boat's on water, but the stars couldn't help you find any excuse for your broken promise!
So I'll raise a toast to this fraud who's loathed by most of the coastal goddesses!
He's a pussy from start to end, as his fate was woven onto him!

Maui:
Maybe add a sense of humor to your massive arsenal; you don't seem that amused!
Got so many weapons in stock, yet you're the biggest tool for Athena to use!
I held up the sky, dealt with the fire, and those ain't my greatest stunts!
You scream at your loved ones 'til they're long gone; do I gotta show you how to raise a sun?
You got me actin' like Baldur, 'cause all your blows are painless!
For once, take a step back; this ain't the cliff you fell from!
To all the pantheons that I saved from eradication
By finishing him once and for all, you're welcome!

Kratos vs. Maui - Rap Battle!

Alastor vs. Alucard - Rap Battle! (Hazbin Hotel vs Hellsing) | Mr. Jay

2Pac ft. Chris Brown - Never Let Go

Lyrics:

Chucky:
A ragdoll wants a rap brawl? 
I’m not the kind of toy you’d wanna dance with
Ain’t seen a faker hunk of plastic since Tiffany’s “enhancements.”
I mean you dug your shit in my spotlight, I got a comeback you couldn’t dream of, rookie.
So how much Woody could a wood-Chucky chuck if a wood-Chucky could chuck Woody?
Hold the gun on your sidekicks or run into my knife, bitch
I’d play “hide your soul” but you’re already lifeless
Stay PG and keep counting your sheep
While you sit in Bonnie’s room alone, without a peep
Trust me, I’ll strip your title as hot topic, 
Did your plot strings puppet that many fucking losses?
Thinking outside the box, Andy's off to college while I still keep on rocking my box office
  
Woody:
Those burdens you dug yourself in ain’t something I’d ignore.
Cuz I don’t think that body count would help disburse your child support.
As sheriff, I can’t endorse a story milked six times or more
So tell me exactly what bragging rights does your franchise have in store?
You run on two legs, but your feelings are fake
After this: No more reboots for this snake
My lasso is cutting your wires
You got a big mouth for a fun size Michael Myers
For dolls like you we ain’t got no tolerance
Even Sid's toys would throw you across the fence
You drew the line, this battle is your suicide, 
my movie’s booting you aside; a rescue for your audience.
Square up all you want in all  your fancy ways
You will never be able to fill up Andy’s grave
My destiny’s a legacy, your story’s ending right here
Cuz by now your buzzkill’s burnt out in this light-year

Chucky:
You’re armless in this show, sir, a failed stunt for your shoulder
So put a gun in your holster, or fuck off my posters
I Hamil’d it up! I’ve been toppling cities, 
scaring the piss out of kiddies, bitch, I’m Andy’s owner
You Hamm it up, riding your owner like it’s a piggy back, 
You’re Woody Wood-pecking all up over Andy’s shoulders
I’m in mint condition, but from a bloody background 
You’re my sloppy second, but a hand me let down
Bullseye spits harder than Woody, you got nothing
While I make the beat drop like “Andy’s coming!”
My name lives in the doll, I have insanity lead
You’re called Woody, cuz you fell down the family tree
If you’re as beloved to Andy as you think, he’d call the doctor
But to him you’re just as alive as his father

Woody:
Don’t go dissing others for their titles partn’r? “Good Guys” is your legacy
You’re the posterboy for playtime, the only street you’re running is Sesame
I don’t hold you to high standards, in my part of town you’re too young
Yet you’re smart enough to connect to tech, but too dumb to plug your head to your tongue?
I’m off into the sunset, let’s not prolong our argument
To infinity and beyond, muffles Chucky from the bottom of the bargain bin

Written by:
Freshy Kanal, Adam & DNA_Fox 

Mixed and Edited by:
Freshy Kanal

Beats by:
Dansonn & Simon Servida

Additional Help by:
Rabi, Mason, Derpiest Game Blast (DGB), Fel, GengoMain, MetaMachine, Creep Switch, Adroit, GamingPlush65, Hippie Rat, Brodecai, Commander Jacob

Art by:
AlienMadman

Chucky vs. Woody - Bonus Battle!

Check out the (ANIMATED) video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKCxNmCLl7M

Jerry Flowers as Alastor
Alex as Siren Head

Siren Head:
I’m hailed as the patron saint of bad things coming
And it’s more than a moniker when I’m paired against a demon
Not talkin’ your Hotel when this has-been’s running
With his tail between his legs, ‘cuz I tear into a heathen
A deer is entering my woodlands - This greeting we hadn’t shook hands
Don’t need a rifle to hunt you for sport and then mount your noggin on a wood stand
You can’t handle what i’m bringing because Hell is so full
Got my ears ringing like you’re the telephone pole
Henderson’s hindering venison imps and your denizens think Siren Head’s in control

Alastor:
Are you pulling my leg? ‘Cuz I think I got a Charlie horse
Those bars are torturous, not even something I’d endorse
Rap battles are truly so much fun for me, Eddie
But if you were going to win, YOU WOULD’VE DONE SO ALREADY
Yes, I’m the big shot eldritch horror - ding dong and ditch on ya
Bring your best, come on, the thing from hell spits hotter
King of senseless slaughter - sins brought death and honour
Sing your siren song ‘cuz this one’s well a goner
Rejected as an SCP but you should stay contained
In the minds of children dumb enough to want to play your games
And before our station cuts back to Trevor’s commercial break
Best stay tuned for when I finish off this miserable mistake 

Siren Head:
It’s alarming, you suck more than a tornado
It seems that inside of every demon is a lame flow, take notes
Your pathetic pathos hate shows you’re not charming, hack
Ain’t seen a bigger animated pussy since Cartoon Cat
You should reflect how this battle goes - Ain’t been dissed this hard since Vaggie, bro
I’m edging closer and hell’ll freeze over when i’m serving Alastor a la mode
You’re off the air and off your rocker tryna fight me
When it comes to radio, you’re less deadly than 5G

Alastor:
Your mic is peaking - too bad it’s not your dissing skills 
My ears are bleeding - now I know how your victims feel
This trending fad will come to pass, I’ll continue my show’s run
Soon to sink back to the cemetery that you rose from

Written, Directed & Coverart by Eddiefrb
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Prod. by Anywaywell

NEXT BATTLE: Tomorrow Is Another Day (ft. Azia? & GamingPlush64)

Alastor vs Siren Head - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

This account is basically in stasis. Unless I feel absolutely compelled to… I don’t think I will be uploading much onto here anymore since the creators of any tracks I would have uploaded belongs to them at their discretion. If any existing track I have up that you as the original creator (or a friend) want me to take down. Message me and no further questions will be asked on such. 

I’m sorry to those I have taken from…

GamingPlush64 -Pomni vs. Jevil-

Destroid_725 (2)