i hate myself

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

you said no yeah I don’t want to see you
well that’s fair yeah I get that I am being used
cut-up fucked up on the inside
im scared to death cus I thought you’d be right by my side

black eyes staring straight through my skin
I can see the transparency within
it’s like I wasn’t even there no no no
sometimes the pictures that you took showed me I could disappear

I fucked up wading down the hospital isle
you said forget about me, I begged to stay for a while
so wrap your arms, wrap your arms just around me
turn to stone, lose control push away and be alone

I know you hoped i suffered I know your with another
cus hating me was your favorite past time
I know you break and stutter your minds fucked take another
another pill just to help you forget my name

my bones are now disordered kick down the glass now cornered
crawling out on my stomach just to feel more pain
dialed up you never answered, you left me here abandoned
could it be that this isn’t love

you said no yeah I don’t want to see you
well that’s fair yeah I get that I am being used
cut-up fucked up on the inside
im scared to death cus I thought you’d be right by my side

hospital beds, I see my mother give a smile
she'll hold my hand as I push myself into denial
you could have been there even as a fucking friend
I hate myself cus I couldn’t hate you when you left

broken knuckles hit the wall pain it shudders through my core
it’s not the type of pain that relates to my hand being broke
drive me to the hospital screaming at me all along
sorry im not perfect, im not worth it, I just really try my best

not to be too much, to fucked up
it’s hard to cope when you say it’s just all  in my head
cus our loves a messy masterpiece were both fucked up and on our knees
begging for a drug just to take away the fucking pain

Weathercast

IHATEAVOCADOS

From the Album "Outsider" by CHRIS RAIN
more CHRIS RAIN: linktr.ee/chrisrain

OUTSIDER

SPOTIFY

DONT BREATHE (Prod. Hanto)

From the Album "Outsider" by CHRIS RAIN 
more CHRIS RAIN: linktr.ee/chrisrain

OUTSIDER (Prod. Hanto)

Daylight

WAIT FOR U

WAIT FOR U (feat. Drake & Tems)

From the Deluxe edition of "Outsider"
https://www.linktr.ee/chrisrain

BORN ALONE (Prod. TunnABeatz)

PATREON -- www.patreon.com/kaistraw
STREAM -- https://kaistraw.fanlink.to/pressure
INSTAGRAM -- www.instagram.com/kaistraw/
TWITTER -- twitter.com/kaistraw
DISCORD -- discord.com/invite/JQJYK5n
MERCH -- www.kaistraw.com/shop
FACEBOOK -- www.facebook.com/KaiStraw/
WEBSITE -- www.kaistraw.com/

JOIN / SUPPORT: www.patreon.com/kaistraw || If you want to keep me doing this music thing full time, you can donate monthly on Patreon.

For updates or to just say hey, text me: (707) 289-3895
It's really me, and I really do reply to everyone.

Produced, Performed & Written by Kai Straw
Engineered by Fred Sorenson
Artwork by Alex Fyock

Lyrics:

Sometimes I can get caught up
I can get let down
I can get let go of by someone I found
It can feel like I’m up all the way to my ears
In thoughts of what I’ll never be
It’s like what don’t I got?
To what do I amount?
Am I living some way that I shouldn’t somehow?
Is there more I should be, or should do, or should find?
Am I enough or will I ever be?

I try to give myself a minute but the clock won’t approve
Won’t approve, won’t approve
If I could use a genie from this bottle like the liquor was blue
I would choose, I would choose

A little less pressure
A little less pressure on me
A little less what could I be
And more of who’s in front of me
A little less pressure
A little less pressure on me
A little less what could I be
And more of who’s in front of me

Sometimes I can get caught up
And forget who’s around
And live like the future’s more precious than now
It’s like no matter where I stay or who sits beside me
I can feel alone and somewhere else
And sometimes I can feel unloved
I can feel burned out
I can feel unseen like I’m the ghost of myself
Maybe I need a change
Maybe I need some help
Or maybe I need to scream just to feel out loud

I try to give myself a minute but the clock won’t approve
Won’t approve, won’t approve
If I could use a genie from this bottle, get a wish from the booze
I would choose, I would choose

A little less pressure
A little less pressure on me
A little less what could I be
And more of who’s in front of me
A little less pressure
A little less pressure on me
A little less what could I be
And more of who’s in front of me

Pressure

Stream

Nevr_A - Darkness (Prod Tsurreal x Ryan Bevolo)

Let Go (prod. Shoot To iLL)

[VERSE 1]

I JUST COUGHT A VIBE
(SIMPLE)
BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIFE
(SIMPLE)
I JUST WANNA FLY
(SIMPLE)
DO THE THINGS THEY LIE ABOUT
SO I HAD TO TAKE IT TO MY REMEDY (YEAH)
LIGHT THE BLUNT AND TALK TO ME (YEAH)
WAY UP WAY UP WAY UP PLACES THAT THEY NEVER BEEN
WAY UP WAY UP WAY UP I THINK HEAVENS OPENING
OK ILL GO
IM OFF 3 SHOTS
THEY WONT FOLD
PICK YA BOTTLE AND YA FAV SPOT
IM GON DIG IT OUT
THATS WITHOUT A DOUBT
WHAT YALL TALKIN BOUT
YOU SHOULD SHUT YOUR MOUTH

[HOOK 1]

GOT NO PRESSURE NO MORE
(NO MORE PRESSURE NO MORE)
PUSHIN PULLIN FEELING UNDER PRESSURE NO MORE
NO PRESSURE NO MORE
NO MORE PUSHIN PULLIN FEELING WAY I FEEL NO MORE
(YEAH NO PRESSURE)
I THINK ITS BEEN A FUCKIN WEEK
I BEEN UP IM LOSING SLEEP 
I BEEN UP IM LOSING SLEEP
I BEEN UP IM LOSING SLEEP
I KNOW THAT ILL BE ALRIGHT 
CUZ YOU HAVE TO HIT BOTTOM
TO REACH THESE NEW HEIGHTS

[VERSE 2}

I BEEN UP
ALL AROUND
IN BETWEEN
(AROUND)
WITH INSPIRATION NOWHERE TO BE FOUND
DEPENDANT ON MY TIMING DOG
IM NOT LYING DOG
(AINT NO TIME FOR THAT)
I BEEN THROUGH IT (OHH OH OH)
MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY 
BLINDED BY THE INDUSTRY 
BUT I LOOK UP TO GOD CUZ HES THE ONLY ONE THATS LISTENING
YEAH WE HIT THE BOTTLE JUST TO TAKE US OUT OUR MISERY AND SOMETIMES
LOOKING IN THE MIRROR IS A MYSTERY I KNOW
I KNOW THEY TALK ALOT BUT THAT AINT HITTIN ME
THEY DON TALKED ALOT BUT THEY DONT KNOW
WHATS GOTTEN INTO ME
I BEEN GOING STUPID FOR AWHILE FEEL LIKE INFINITY
BUT I KNOW THAT MY ANGELS GONNA SHINE
THEY GLISTENING SO I GOT

[HOOK 2]
GOT NO PRESSURE NO MORE
(NO MORE PRESSURE NO MORE)
PUSHIN PULLIN FEELING UNDER PRESSURE NO MORE
NO PRESSURE NO MORE
NO MORE PUSHIN PULLIN FEELING WAY I FEEL NO MORE
(YEAH NO PRESSURE)
I THINK ITS BEEN A FUCKIN WEEK
I BEEN UP IM LOSING SLEEP (OH I BEEN UP)
I BEEN UP IM LOSING SLEEP
I BEEN GOING CRAZY DOG
SO FUCKIN CRAZY DOG
COPING WITH THESE PROBLEMS GOT ME 
MAKING ALL THESE SING-ALONGS

[OUTRO]

RAPTA CLOSES THE PROJECT WITH SOME WORDS

VIDEO

Angels

Available on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/father-figure-2-flourish/id1294505242&app=itunes

Download

Where I Belong [Prod. by JULiA LEWiS]

Written and Performed by ill Nicky 
Produced by River Beats and Will Saulsky 
Mixed and Mastered by Will Saulsky 
Special Thanks - Steven Felix, Cheeba Hawk, Trevor Linn 
Recorded at ill Music Group, Los Angeles, CA. 
Distributed by United Masters 
ill Music Group, All Rights Reserved

Fairfax and Melrose

Fairfax And Melrose

Under The Moon

Right Now (prod. Pvlace & Shoot to ill)

lyrics: https://genius.com/Chris-rain-fall-asleep-lyrics
cover by: @tom.v.e.r.s.e
AMV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dkfH5rJBks

i hate myself

]:CRUC¡F3¥3d:[