VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqhS4X0ddOM

TicciSparks como Scott Pilgrim
GASU como Ramona Flowers

lightsøut como Boyfriend
Pandah como Girlfriend

Escrito por CyanCoat, TheBauestPerson, Cloud17 y TheSoul

Instrumental por CyanCoat

Lyrics (translated, not adapted) to English:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fyT1elZ536HsSyKYehtAM970e_yMIWygrV_B1vL6ZWA/edit?usp=sharing

Kim Pine:
(Uno, Dos, Tres, Cuatro!)

Anunciador:
GUERRAS DE RAP

Scott Pilgrim contra Boyfriend!

Girlfriend:
(Tres, Dos, Uno, Va!)

Scott Pilgrim y Ramona Flowers:
Juegos de ritmo? los gano, amigo mío!
(Si no, ve lo que hicimos contra el idiota de Gideon!)
Venceré en un Flash al pastiche de NewGrounds
Esta vez sin ayuda de Knives! (Parappa dirá Chau!)

Boyfriend:
Oh dios, qué haces aquí Scott? No salgas con más niños!
Tú y tu basura hipster vuélvanse para el 2005!
Tan blando como un Muffin, hoy soy tu nega-ninja!
Vas a ser el Ex Ocho, después de esta paliza!

Scott Pilgrim:
No lo creo, en este duelo voy a ser como tu suegro!
Tu deseo es tener Sexo y mis Bob-Ombas lo han des-hecho!

Boyfriend:
No hables de mi relación, tu novia es peor que Taylor Swift! (Ooh!)
Fuckboys pixelados no acaban bien contra mi! (Yeah!)

Scott Pilgrim:
¿Soy un Fuck Boy porque me dan lo que a ti no?
Mejor dime "Puck-Man", todas quieren darme el "Fuck"!

Boyfriend:
Mejor dicho "Cuck-Man", cuando llega el G-Man
Suelta el bajo que con Neil ya te van a reemplazar!

Scott Pilgrim y Ramona Flowers:
Derroté a ambos capitanes, América y Marvel!
(Mientras tú estás rapeando contra dos niños en disfraces!)
Pero enano vocaloid, sólo regurgitas flows...
YA BASTA! Pagarás tu crimen contra el hip hop!

Boyfriend:
Tus bandas son un crímen contra lo Sónico (& Knuckles)
Ellas se desmoronan cuando yo rockeo el Mic-hael
Cera debes tener, si crees que suenan bien
Como tu película, un fracaso van a ser!

Scott Pilgrim y Ramona Flowers:
Te supero en cualquier medio, hasta en los videojuegos!
Es normal cuando recaes en mods para hacerlo bueno...
(El subespacio en tu cabeza de seguro está vaciado...)
Si pensabas que tu moda vencería a mi legado!

Boyfriend:
¿Te refieres al legado de haber arruinado,,,
...A toda una generación, pedófilo fracasado?
Encima tardas seis tomos en tratar de ser mejor
Porque no quiere afrontar que es sólo un puto perdedor!

Scott Pilgrim y Ramona Flowers:
Luché por la chica en mis sueños! Poder de Entendimiento!
(Con cualquier nota en falso tu novia abandona el juego...)
Viví con Wallace, oye, no discrimino!
Así que al menos te queda ir a darte picos con Pico...

Boyfriend y Girlfriend:
¿Quieres hablar de homosexuales?... tienes tres ex-novias:
Volviste a dos de ellas lesbianas, y la otra te odia!
Ya no te escondas tras Ramona, maldito cobarde!
Te vencí por mi cuenta (Así es cómo se hace!) Ja!

Scott Pilgrim vs Boyfriend

Khandaq's Ruler blessed with the power of the Egyptian gods fights against the retired Israeli Super Soldier. Which of these Mighty Adams will triumph in this conflict in the Middle East?

Titanium1208 as Black Adam
Adam Sandler (ASSRB/DRB) as Zohan
Thumbnail by SPM1000 (Subscribe to Zuprem4cy)
Beat produced by Baghira
Mixed by Raichous 
Written by R the Writer



Black Adam: 
The timelines are converging, my power is surging
And if there's a terrorist in need of a purging
Send me to hurt him, then like his post, I'll desert him
Hell, Superman can't fight me alone, my win is certain
Amon gives me strength, Aten sends me higher
Zohan meanwhile's sent to fight against Rob Schneider
An Immortal as your enemy just means you're marked for death
Make you hurt like you do kids, so much for a moral IDF

Zohan: 
I don't want to fighting, but if you want let's do this
Send a bolt of lighting, I bounce it off my tuchus
My words alone can break you, cause friend you're clearly mental
With a few quick swipes I'll make you, the saltiest of pretzels
You don't mess with the Zohan even on his final mission
No plague is sicker than the lines I'll spit on this Egyptian
Your stories grow duller with earth's Infinite Crisis
Set you free after insulting me, but I'm still taking Isis

Black Adam: 
All I thought about as I sat through your vernacular
Is the bullshit people spew when they say Sandler's worst was Dracula
Sun you with Ra rhymes, the weaker Adam can't oppose this
My bolts will burn your bush, it'll start to call for Moses
Whoring yourself out's the climax of your tale's action
While I defend Khandaq til there's more red on me than Batson
You don't have my respect nor do you even amuse me
Maybe that's why this worthless hero can't score more than a movie

Zohan: 
My strategy is solid no matter how foes change
Dismantle you like a machine gun in close range
Enough about the Rock I'm the one who stacks the paper
Ask the ladies who went Zohan, even Black here is not greater
Oh how the mighty fall, I'll beat you to a disco banger
But still you'll keep your anger even when it's all B'Seder
I just make people silky smooth, can you not understand?
Maybe you'll wish you were like me, next time you go Shazam

Black Adam Vs Zohan - Rap Battle

Welcome to the twelfth installment of “Quick Diss”! We got two inhuman liars… lying today. It's the lightning from fingertips bringer himself, Saul Goodman! Venting against the overused character despite not even being a character, The Imposter!

Lyrics:
Lyrics:
Saul Goodman:
Right, your honor, I don't get whyyy I have to fight this botter
Despite the strifes and hollers that they enticed with spite and caution
I am appalled that, Saul the con-man, is being comped with this scummy schmuck rat 
Y'all got Imposters? Better Call Saul, hah!
It's all crap, even Walt's ass wouldn't waltz that
Runnin' 'round on large maps but can't map out those bars? Damn
In for a looong match, thinking Saul won't stall laps
'Round your dumb-ass, one door closes, another draws back!

The Imposter:
Bruh, your euphemisms are as bad as your path to riches 
In your bros shadow dick sucking the man, get past your slippin'.
His fam was tripping, said your actions were classed as iminent
Practically sounds lit then, guess that's why he HAD to get lit then!
Class is in session, how to get past the failure, horrors 
And I have a soul, I'm an alien, you're a lawyer
I buckle down my stranieous acts, and that's it
But, you ain't wearing the pants, that's in fact Kim.

Saul Goodman:
Ya got a sharp tongue, but ya ain't kabobing me
Think I lost cuz you was floundering to bob on beats?
Hardly, yee vent a lot for natural anomalies!!
Match the fellas you're "conquering" but can't match your bars with heat?
I'd have an ad on em see, least a smidge of civility 
You push your con on all kiddies in the vicinity 
It's sickening, the fact the children within infancy
Are then reaped by sicko creeps, there's no things to stick 'em? Esh.
Only thing you could stick to me is the fact you're a prick 
Got stuck on a fad and then dipped
I'm timeless, and I'd imagine that his
Numbers don't line up to mine, so ring me up on lines, my rap is dismissed. (Hah-ha!)

The Imposter:
You and your wife preyed on a man in a failing marriage 
Least my victims were astronauts who sail the very
Fabric of space; you ran around and fabricate
That he snorts crack and lays hookers on the back-street? Lame
As foul as it takes, all that for a power fuck
Speaking of fowl as of late, you could've said Howard, duck!
Instead he got executed on your lousy rug
Then Mike Chucked his body in the ground he dug

Saul Goodman:
Uh, what a weird accusation and unlike the lord
You sir, have made a vow not to lie in court
And even if this mighty horace was at all important…
Guess you wouldn't have a defense to provide a source eh?

The Imposter:
That's crazy. Did I ask? YOU phase ME? Could be your ass 
Lazy in your fiendish raps, I'll slay thee, with memes and facts
You're in a living room, sitting with Kim, hear a hit or two 
Open the door to Howie in what would then be his tomb
Lalo shows up in a sickened mood, kills the dude
Was in the room, didn't report to feds, now you're in it too
Pushed and pushed him, just a fucking monster
No matter what Wood you knock on, you'll remain Chuck's imposter…

-CAST-
Saul Goodman: AdamDRB
The Imposter: Trakked

-PRODUCTION-
Thumbnail/Art by: Grasman
Written by: JaCoN
Beat:
http://www.shadowville.com/audio//Shadowville.com%20-%20Dead%20Presidents.mp3
Beat Produced by: 2Deep
Mixed by: JaCoN

Saul Goodman vs The Imposter - (Quick Diss) #12

Clarence The Duck as JellyBean

BDGR as Happy Appy

Written by BDGR and Nugget

jelly lean bar written by Box_Soldier22

Additional Writing Help by Samuel Grasman, Box_Soldier22, Clarence The Duck, CheeseVA, Awesome Ayden, ForgottenSon

Beat Produced by Anywaywell

Mixed by Clarence The Duck

JellyBean (0:16)
Hi Chat! Welcome back it seems were in a rap battle
Today I’m paired against the homo-cidal apple.
So, note people are addicted to me like I was JellyLean
You were only relevant back in 2011 to ‘13

Then got thrown away since this apple is rotten to the core,
Your story made everyone bored, and they say MY content got them to snore?
And I don't know what's worse, your lore or your teaching?
Appy got flamed in this rap like an apple pie, yet he's still unappealing.

Happy Appy (0:43)
Hey Children! It’s me, the one and only Happy Appy! (Yay!!)
Today I have a special guest! The one with content so bad and crappy, (Awww!!)
So, clearly it’s not a masterpiece, it’s a mistake, kids!
And what do we do when we find a mistake? (”We erase it!”)

So, I’ll pull out my knife, cut them up until I've had enough, (AHH!)
Then watch them bleed out like my fucking eardrums!
You’re somewhere at the center of every TikTok conflict
If it wasn’t for constant hate on your block vids you wouldn’t have got clicks!

JellyBean (1:10)
It's like Appy’s bobbing for apples, with all the ups and downs in his verse,
And it leaves me baffled, that Happy actually thought those disses hurt
Especially coming from someone who predicted and committed tragedies
But couldn’t predict that his story was a bad read,

Went from kidnapping with vans, he’d cut ‘em up as they scream in agony
Then got tossed to ROBLOX and if THAT wasn’t enough flaws and casualties
He got picked up by the Gacha Life community,
Where he’d be known for the rest of his relevancy,

And let’s not forget the ARGs and Lost Episode clones you sparked up,
That did your shtick better then made you look like the Windows startup.
I would've expected you to know a thing about air time,
But, even going to space couldn't keep up your shows airtime 

Here’s a hint you can give to kids, can’t leave a print without forensics
Every second in this battle was your penance for all youth that you left tormented!
Your creator snuffed out your Candle cuz no one would go listen
So, actually being a fan of this creep's pasta? That's unnatural, children!

Happy Appy (2:06)
That verse crashed worse than 9/11 did.
It could only be enjoyed by some IPad kids!
I’d say it’s safe to say you really fell far from the apple tree,
So, does the biggest joke on the web still want to face me?

Beware cuz Appy goes berserk on beats, serving Bean defeat
When I snatch the win like DDoSers and doxxers did their IP,
Before you bring up clones, take a peek at your Duets and Stitches
Since you’ve managed to create a genre filled with fruity furry bitches

So, yes, you and I inspire many, and your PFP cults prove that,
But, what's sad is I expected great things from this brat, yet I got Bean Boozled bad.
Which reminds me, how the MCYT went from talented peeps,
To a file cabinet full of PNGs, irrelevant miners, and dead memes.

And I would've said "face the facts" but you're too insecure to do so,
When you dress for a pandemic but couldn't handle my sick flows!
So, children please say goodbye to our guest as their end is near
Since our time's up, but note, Bean's win is like their Twitter @ NotHere!

happy pride month

video on RBD

i am deeply sorry

Happy Appy Vs JellyBean

Light as Lone Wolf Radio
Vladimyr P. as Radio Silence

Lyrics:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LkoAQQqAlzoAe38fmptVdHKucxC--keNJ2c7vhrJYD4

Writers: PacificMapper and Vlad
Cover Art made by: Brodecai
Audio Mixed by: Vlad
Beat Produced by: Ear 2 Tha Beat
---------------------
Instrumental: N/A
Flow Test: https://picosong.com/wR6vp/

Lone Wolf Radio vs Radio Silence. Sinister Rap Battles

Trakked as Funnymouth
Vladimyr P. as Smile Dog

WELCOME TO A SINISTER RAP BATTLE
FUNNYMOUTH
AGAINST
SMILE DOG
BEGIN

Funnymouth:
Funnymouth entered the chat, time a bad boy gets a whippin’
Cuz I’ll put ya’ in the pound when you see what this mouth glitched in
I like to lik the bluud of puppies when they cross my way
So come on, I dont like to stop, it’s time to mutilate a stray
This disgrace to pastas needs to be put back in the Spam file
This JPG will be uneasy when I widen his smile

Smile Dog:
Incoming Message: This psycho nerd’s trying to fight satan himself?
This Hound’ll raise hell cuz of the words you misspelled
This email’s gonna fail if you think you’re diabolical,
Compared to my satanic look, this poser’s Necronomi-comical
Go back to being an annoyance; your relevance, outdated!
‘Cuz licking blood won’t save you from this living hell that i’ve created

Funnymouth:
A pic is all you’re good for; Don’t be so sad about ur loss

Smile Dog:
It’s a Joy Kill-ing you, but, I will still invade your thoughts
People forgot about you, best leave another chain letter

Funnymouth:
Ya’ can’t leave me blocked Fur-ever, could a stare do you better?, O)_(O
I pop off jaws with awe, to make the victim insane,
I don’t see a handsome face, but i’ll still lick the remains

Smile Dog:
inflicting pain upon my viewers like your pasta, cancerous
Cuz My win’s Illuminated by the flash of a camera

Funnymouth:
Oh, you want me to get silly? Well, let me send you an email
“This dog’s going back to hell, unless you #RefertoSales
Then you’ll be neutered, doggy, but I might as well spay
‘cuz you’re nothing more than a bitch that lets suicide seize the day!”
I know you can’t like the rap, but we’ll still have fun
Slendy’s pup looks are disgusting; can’t even haunt anyone,
They don’t understand my ways, but yours just make me bored,
It’s time to put down this dog; just more of a Ghost than Jeorge

Smile Dog:
You should WAKE UP and realize; those were suicidal rhymes
Cuz what you spat was sour like it was lemon and lime
I’ll crush your Skull under my paw, then tear your tongue from the seams
You’ll wish you were redeemed once I start HAUNTING YOUR DREAMS

*Smile Dog Transforms*

Smile Dog (2nd Form):
SPREADING THE WORD WON’T SAVE YOU WHEN THIS DOG COMES TO BITE
ANYTHING YOU TYPE’S MORE OF A 404 THAN YOUR SITE
YOU LIVE IN AN INVERTED REALITY IF YOU’LL THINK I’LL BURN 
THIS DOG WILL ALWAYS LEAVE TROLLPASTAS CRUSHED, LIKE AN EARTHWORM
SET UP A FIREWALL TO STOP YOU; THIS VIRUS AIN’T NEW
YOU SHOULD FROWN NOT-SO-FUNNYMOUTH BECAUSE GOD DOESN’T LOVE YOU
What I spit is assisted; guess you’ll have to learn that
SUICIDE’S THE ONLY WAY-
      * Funnymouth has left the chat

WHO MURDERED THE MIC?
COMMENT THE WAIVER BELOW
RETURN TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL
FOR ANOTHER
SINISTER RAP BATTLE

Writers: Vlad and Trakked
Beat Producer: Smoke
Mixer / Effects: Vlad
Cover art by Trakked

Funnymouth vs Smile Dog. Sinister Rap Battles

I want to live in a Charlie Brown vs Eric Cartman world

Raichous as Jonathan Crane / Scarecrow
Vladimyr P. as Freddy Krueger

WELCOME TO A SINISTER RAP BATTLE
JONATHAN CRANE
AGAINST
FREDDY KRUEGER
BEGIN

Jonathan Crane:
Step into my office, lie down, Frederick Krueger, is it?
Molester? ..yes? I guess I’ll mark that off my list
Give you a dream you can’t achieve, to see if you can rock this
But your rhymes won’t be as toxic as my fear toxins
Scarecrow:
The word around town is you feed off childhood cowardice
So let’s turn the tables, and show you how it feels to be powerless
No need to spring-your-wood out when your prey goes to bed
So try not to get fired up when you couldn’t get a-head

Freddy Krueger:
And to think that Dr. Crane would serve burns more severe than mine
But then he came packing potato sacks and some nursery rhymes
So listen up, bitch, it’s my time to split the fabric
Now I’ll take this therapist and show him how to rap classic
You ain’t worth shit, Jonathan, and you set your standards low
Because your flow is limited by the comic book code
Walk down the yellow brick road, that is where your win lies
You’re in the house that I built bitch, so try to run and hide

Scarecrow:
I Wes Craven a real fight, but what I get is his flimsy Christmas rap?
I’ll unwrap that Santa Claw likes when children sit on his lap
You got ruined by both Myers and Bay? Wow, that’s no fair blow
Then we’ll rejoice that Freddy’s Dead all thanks to the Scarecrow

Freddy Krueger:
You think that I can die bitch!? Only in your wet dreams!
So let’s go behind the scenes to see your head split by the seam

Scarecrow:
I'm not Scared by your flow cuz I’m nightmare inducing
While your whole design is fitting for a Disney Princess movie

Freddy Krueger:
Your backstory is boring, I’m not at all appealed
While your parents have abandoned you, lifeless in a field
This is the last straw, and this won’t be your Brightest Day
As I make like those crows, you’ll be turned into my prey

Scarecrow:
(Hahaha) Prey you say? Though, It seems I’ve caught you slackin’
I’ve seen jumpscares more scarier from a crawling Michael Jackson
I’d roast this boast at most if he wasn’t already burned
Cuz a little crow pecking on me is the least of my concerns

Freddy Krueger:
If you’re calling me little, then I guess that you’re the midget
I’ll go deep inside your mind to make a brainless bitch forfeit
You lack the Ichobod so I will enforce your tomb
But to get to the Flash-Point; I’ll be the one to bring your Doom


Johnathan Crane:
Please, take a seat Frederick, tell me how would your wife feel
Scarecrow:
About the shit movies you’re in and kids virginity; you steal!

Freddy Krueger:
Says the bitch whose only film role was tossed off to the side
Trying to gas the Dream Master? I guess you're the one who is high!

Scarecrow:
Jeff the Killer spits iller, If not for him, you’d serve no purpose
Take your outdated effects and put them back into the circus

Freddy Krueger:
Call out my outdated effects? That’s pretty fucking ironic
Since your disappointing CGI’s the only thing that’s Comic

Scarecrow:
The flame burns on the opponent; couldn’t strike you as a match
So put your claw to good use and slash yourself out of this rap

Freddy Krueger:
You're unwanted in The Suicide Squad and The Dark Knight Trilogy
So, go back to the fucking Wizard of Oz, little piggy

WHO MURDERED THE MIC?
COMMENT THE WAIVER BELOW
RETURN TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL
FOR ANOTHER
SINISTER RAP (BITCH)

Writers: Vlad, Eric, Kamren, DCA, and Fightmarker
Beat Producer: Tristan
Mixer / Effects: Vlad
Cover Art Made by Brodecai

Freddy Krueger vs Scarecrow. Sinister Rap Battles

IcerM as White Face
Vladimyr P. as MARIO

WELCOME TO A SINISTER RAP BATTLE
WHITE FACE
AGAINST
MARIO
BEGIN

White Face:
Emerging from the shadows; let’s play a game.
While you’re locked behind my bars; see if you can guess my name
...I have many. (Chuckle) But that’s alright
Since you do seem pretty keen on grabbing usernames, right?
I’ll crack this ROM hack, leave you hollow like my eyes
It’s so cold, like my disses in this fight
I hate you. I hate you. But you couldn’t leave me distressed
Now I’ll leave your files deleted.. no more trace of this .txt

MARIO:
It happened; you’re verse was the only thing you buried
You need emotional support; how can anyone think you’re scary?
I’m filled with malice, you’ll need some digit-alis
I’ll flip the Yellow Switch because in rap this is my Palace
Ivan is Terrible and your game is unbearable
I’ll put you in the trash because to me you’re incomparable
Should’ve begged to challenge Yoshi, you chose the wrong scenario
Wonder who played this player? It’s-a me, M A R I O!

White Face:
You spat the wrong diss, now the effects are irreversible
You were dull, so you’ll fall, cuz a “Game Over” screen was terminal
Point of advice: White Face is one you shouldn’t entice
Breaking the barrier to my win because I’m cold as ice

MARIO:
You couldn’t cause a Spooky Jump Scare; and to be fair..
You’re no Pixelated Nightmare, just another errored square
You should be more than Scared in this game of Hide and Seek
Cuz when you catch up and find me; I will end your doki doki beat

White Face:
Come and face the truth now. You’re out of lucky tickets
When it comes to shots fired, you’ll need many more than six, it’s
A shame that this game of ours will soon here be no more
As I destroy your game files and takethishacktothedoor

MARIO:
You’re hanging by a thread, think that you could get a-head?
Take a look at yourself; since she wants to be dropped, dead
Your destructive personality’s something needed adjusted
So I’ll make the right choice and leave this specimen corrupted

WHO MURDERED THE MIC?
COMMENT THE WAIVER BELOW
RETURN TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL 
FOR ANOTHER
SINISTER RAP BATTLE

Writers: Vlad and IcerM
Beat Producer: Klimonglue
Mixer / Effects: Vlad and IcerM
Cover Art Made by Astro

White Face vs MARIO. Sinister Rap Battles

White Face v̷̛̹͚͍̣̂͑͒̍s̵̛͉͈̬̟̹̳̣̒̽̈̂͊̊́ MARIO. Sinister Rap Battles

Beat by Surce
Mixed by Light
Writing: Fightmarker, and Astro

-CAST-

Light as Pac-Man
Fightmarker as Yoshi



-LYRICS-

Pac-Man:
Welp, now Pac is spittin' it, but seems by ya appearances,
-vocab and hardware, all this Devil World reject does is limited
Now listen, prick, just look at my players, it's clear I'm gettin' it
While looking at your games, and this track, ya Spinnin' Off this

Yoshi:
So many sellouts and failures, this'll be another one for you to add to
Boring, dragged out verse, like the wait for ya Smash Debut
Faded into irrelevancy like all your unlicensed inept games
No longer a hit, say, crush your bits, aye, leave ya collapsin' back to Midway!

Pac-Man:
Yoshi tryna be explodin' like he's eatin' a red Koopa on his verse
But ya franchise stole my power-up mechanic yet went and made it worse
You're an underpowered coward, nothing without some flowers
Too scared to visit a ghost house or go into Bowser's Castle
While I face 'em everyday! Most popular icon in the U.S.A.!
You're a last place replacement crowded with ya fanbase hate!
Saving Baby Mario mommy issues isn't excusing his or ya annoyance
Declining with your gameplay, frame-rates, play rates, off-brands and toys, man!

Yoshi:
Lost a war to Space Invaders while I'm goin' beyond
Travelling the galaxy, you're rotting in a pizza parlor, son
After all of your downfalls, you think you have a chance at beating me?
I mean, see, your existence caused the VG Crash of '83
Started off and stayed in a arcade, like always, never being played
the final grave that Sandler made, means you’ve been decayed for two decades!
It shocks me that you’re still an icon, with all the originality you lack
Pulling the plug on this Ghostly Hack, So Pac will never be Back

Pac-Man Vs Yoshi. Stop Motion Bonus Battle.

Bet you expected Jevil to face someone who isn't obscure, huh.

EpicLLOYD as Montresor
Nice Peter as Jevil
Instrumental by Anywaywell
Mixing and Mastering by Freshy Kanal
Written by Edgar Allan Poe
(NOTE: The cover art is merely a mockup as the actual characters have not been filmed yet. I do not own the rights to any of the images used, all credit goes to their respective owners. Also Montresor will not look like that I just didn't have a good png of him and it fits the general aesthetic kind of.)

TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS
JEVIL
VS
MONTRESOR
BEGIN!

Montresor:
Greetings and salutations, it’s your companion Montresor
Meeting this valiant acquaintance, I must ask of one request, sir
That we skip this poor bravado and check my kin’s coat and motto
You’ll end up with Fortunado when I wreak havoc on jesters
Mask on, draped in Gothic clothing
I’m a sly Fox, more cunning than Toby
Took your first game’s whole gimmick then cloned it
There’s been no change, where’s your metamorphosis?
I’ll leave you howling for your verbal crimes
Not talking Amontillado when I bask in your fervent whines
And once this murder’s final, you’re sure to find
I’ve committed the perfect rhyme

Jevil:
Let’s play a game, a game, I call it “Guess the Human”
This one’s consumed by petty feuding, and now his World Revolves around retribution
And wasted his life away plotting to maim his pal
But it all went to shit as their silence gnawed at his fulfillment, does that ring a bell?
Too dim to pass as a Lightner
You’re at your most bright when you’re slathered in nitre 
This one is a game you’re not playing so well
Must be a Holiday ‘cause I’m taking no Ls
No chance you can match with my pace (Chaos!)
You’re a tactless disgrace (Chaos!)
Get Luchesi to rap in your place 
For the drunkard who authored you lacked any taste (Weehee!)
When causing carnival carnage, I am unparalleled
Dirges burning like curtains, I ride a beat like a carousel (Pip pip!)
Put your friend to sleep for 50 years? You put me to sleep for a century
Tryna be invested in your story got me like, “Erm...I can do mostly anything”

Montresor:
That’s the best you could do to me?
Then I’ll be punishing this puny imp with impunity
Played your cards against a pack of children, then soiled it 
All it took was TP to flush this joker down the toilet
It’s drudgery having to wait for you
So behind in development, call you Betarune
Break you apart like the key for your cell’s lock
In paces requiescat
For the love of god (the love of god)
I’ll put this hack in a box (hack in a box)
I Rouxl harder than Kaard (harder than Kaard)
So just call me Seam (just call me Seam)
For this ordeal’s left me in stitches and you’ve pushed my buttons so good day to you
Now the friend you once trusted shall lock you away for good, feeling déjà vu?

Jevil:
No urban legend that Boston Harbored
Could incite new ideas in your garbage author
Just another loon Poe wrote to give readers creeps 
A discount Tell-Tale but failed to keep a beat
You think you’re all that ‘cause you clowned on a jester
But as you fall flat, I’ll be crowned like it’s checkers
You spent your verse threatening thousands of injuries
Yet through it all, you’ve not once tried to insult me
I Cirque de Slay when I’m spitting
I stole the whole show as a side mission
This shabby old creep can’t keep up the tempo
‘Gainst gaming’s most demented jester since Dimentio
Oh, what a fun game this has been, frolicking in the cemetery 
So here’s one more final jest between friends and it’s not the hatchet getting buried

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
WE DECIDE!
TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS

Montresor vs Jevil. Terrible Rap Battles of Comic Sans

I write things, this is mostly for my battles though.

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