There was a time I thought my little songs could actually "change the world"; that perhaps music could make us all more kind, compassionate, tolerant, empathic, less violent, less greedy, or at a minimum, happier. 

I have always hoped we could navigate our differences with words rather than weapons and that humanity could as a whole, truly practice reverence for the planet and all the living creatures who share it with us. 

But, I see now how absolutely naive I was. The despair, suffering, destruction, and apathy that continues now, many years after I wrote this song, has not changed. Some things, are better but many things, are not; however, I remain hopeful that humanity will eventually work things out and I, in any way that I can, will keep trying to make things better. And so I decided, I would finish producing this song and include it in my first album; an album which on many days might be the continuation of a journey, or on other days, could be the end of a journey.



© 2024 Lyrics, Music, Content By Brenda Doss

I should be happy  
With all of my life
I should be satisfied 
But I’m not
Why do I carry 
The weight of the world on my back
Why should I care
When no one else does

I am a slave 
To the thoughts that I have
I need to change the world
With these tired hands 
Don’t turn me off 
Don’t turn me down
Don’t shut me in 
Don’t throw me out
And I might go crazy
But you might come around
       
At the back door 
You will find me
And I might never leave
At the back door 
You will find me
These tired hands are bleeding
 
Should I worry
If it all goes to hell
Can I live my life in apathy
Like everybody else
Why am I here 
What can I change
These reckless times  
I’m not to blame
Isn’t anybody out there
Isn’t anyone afraid

At the back door 
You will find me
And I might never leave
At the back door 
You will find me
Begging on my knees
At the back door 
You will find me
These tired hands are bleeding

I’m your disease
I’m  your despair
I’m like a flea
I’m in your hair
I’m breeding in your conscience
When you don’t want me there

At the back door 
You will find me
And I might never leave
At the back door 
You will find me
Begging on my knees
At the back door 
You will find me
A wounded heart grieves
At the back door 
You will find me yeah yeah yeah

At the back door 
You will find me
And I might never leave
At the back door 
You will find me
Cause I'm begging on my knees
At the back door 
You will find me
A wounded heart grieves
At the back door 
You will find me
These tired hands are reaching

Debut

Back Door

Original music by neno J.
This composition was created 25 years ago and now I have finally decided to rearrange and record it. Classical guitars (Hohner guitar) and piano played by me, July 2025.

Vortex

'ghetto falsetto' with Harmful if Followed and sixstring mac 

Isaac and the apple:
Mac: music, lyrics and vocals
Harmful/Shane: lyrics, vocals, backups 

one man verity show:
Scotty: lyrics, vocals, backups, art 

Well the night’s effervescent and I’m on fire
Full of anti depressants to blunt my ire
Well aware of the presence of my desire
It feels very pleasant as I get higher
And I’m clad in a fashion to catch the eye
So why does everyone ignore me as I walk by
It would be a different story for a different guy
But I’ll never find the glory unless I try
So why do I lie so low 
Why don’t I let them know
Let them bask in the glow
Of my ghetto falsetto 

Most are fucked up from the drugs they take,
and don't care to interrupt all the love I make,
but I can't quite erupt so, I'll simply fake,
and make believe
that I have climaxed, because all the noise
that keeps me far from relaxed and trapped in the void, 
I've always had a clean nose but perhaps I'll toy 
with singing in falsetto. 

These streets are full of cackles and high pitched screams
A ghetto manifesto haunting my dreams
Monotone narration to a story I know
A baritone ending won’t leave me alone
I’m not crazy it’s the world around me
I’ll deal with the shit eventually 
Then get past the truth I know
That I’m too low for ghetto falsetto 

But it don’t mater how high or how low 
Unless you mean it nobody will know
All you need is the seed and the get go
Let go of the ghetto falsetto

ghetto falsetto (with Harmful if Followed and sixstring mac)

The next track in DeeP.-Speech. A universal language that everyone understands because no one understands it.
It stands alone, sounds great, and feels good... I think it's good! :-)
Currently one of my favorite trax!
Sometimes you just don't need lyrics!
All done by DeeP.

To Find

sky ship

My EP SUPERNOVA contains two Japanese songs, and this is one of them. I have never released a song in Japanese before, but I took the plunge and decided to release these. It's a song recorded in one take with my acoustic guitar and vocal. The tempo is middle tempo (I didn't use the metronome function so I don't know the BPM). 3m58s. The main genre is Folk. This is a gentle and slightly blue song. Link to major platforms : https://linkco.re/E2aRhZS6

Lyrics : (Alright)

悲しい湖を通り過ぎ
僕は明日へと辿り着く
もし僕が人生を捨てたなら
あなたは三度笑うでしょう

Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be

見知らぬ人に笑われて
僕は明日から戻るでしょう
僕の果てなき探究は
きっとあなたへと帰ってゆく

Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be

涙を見たくて
涙を流したくてOh
僕は僕は
きっと戻るね

悲しい湖を通り過ぎ
僕は明日へと辿り着く
もし僕が人生を捨てたなら
あなたは三度笑うでしょう

Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be
Let forever be

FOREVER BE

Can't Get Bayou (But I Can't Get By Without You Either)

SOON to move to Bandcamp as an album - in the meantime, you can also listen in sequence here: soundcloud.com/sonic-textures/sets/scalar-fields
instruments: Jeff Gardiner and jo richter
voice: Jeff Gardiner
modulation, arrangement and all that: jo richter
lyrics: Jeff Gardiner in collaboration with jo richter
image: Jeff Gardiner in collaboration with jo richter

stepping off the edge with desire
he was the flyer on perception's broken wings
sixteen times he bounced and landed on the ledge
with the shack at the back where the
old man sat on some wooden crates
and spoke of gates in dreams
and trips and traps and strategies and
cautionary tales about inorganic beings
and how to catch a rabbit or lion or a squirrel
with some sticks and strings

scaler field pt 9: Sticks 'n' Strings with Sonic Structures and Silent Stretches

SOON to move to Bandcamp as an album - in the meantime, you can also listen in sequence here: soundcloud.com/sonic-textures/sets/scalar-fields
instruments: Jeff Gardiner and jo richter
voice: Jeff Gardiner
modulation, arrangement and all that: jo richter
lyrics: Jeff Gardiner in collaboration with jo richter
image: Jeff Gardiner in collaboration with jo richter



when the waves of silence break
on the dharma nomad's sitting mind
the daylight sleeper's naugual wakes
for a body of the idle kind

that speaks in riddles muted rhymes
and labrythene paths of jesting Joyce
where assonance stands guard and chimes
on onomatopoeic trysts.

For rivers run and waters foam
and dogs are dogs of many heads
no dwellings last where prospect roam
and liquid hope permits no rest

and the knowledge of the miserly
cannot withstand the yearly flooding force
and can and will and is not allowed for atrophy
as long as eight blurred legs still makes a horse

ah burning barnacles to make light
of tonal drylands and bold vertebrates
bridges? Yes, bridges burn for ashes flight
and sparks and bio luminosity and micotonal clefs

for those who walk the open scalar fields
have guns that glow and minds to blow
for those who raft down rapid vector creeks
have dreams to grow and seeds to sow---

the scalar fields part 10: Vector creek with Jo Richter

This song was written at the same time as ‘Get Up’ which I posted a couple of months ago and is very much a partner piece to it. I’ve given it a more jazzy feel and upped the tempo from my first  version which I hope has given it a brighter and lighter feel. I’ve also multi-tracked the ‘Uh Oh’ vocal loop and added a few effects to make it a little more prominent in the mix - it is after all the title! I very much hope you enjoy this one and, if you have time, maybe leave a comment. The feedback I’ve had on the other songs has been really, really helpful ( and very encouraging too! ).

Original image from Wikilmages on Pixabay

Uh Oh!

covet

"more fun than i deserve" 
" stepping off the ledge with desire"
NEW album released 10/31/2025 SCALAR FIELD ON BANDCAMP listen for free or own it for the price of a couple  Frappuccino's   :)

scaler field pt 9: Sticks 'n' Strings with Sonic Structures and Silent Stretches

stonerjazz