and im too gone to know if im okay

so close my eyes and keep my mind opaque 
you like my smile, i love to look away
and some will come, all will go away
and the sun will come, i'll just go away

what i don't
is all i want

opaque

and sometimes you'll go away
and sometimes i want you back
but does he know where you're laying
and does he know who i am

i don't want to know

you feel so wanted
fuck him for confidence 
i'll take all that you have
you cost me nothing
i know what you sold
i'll still take you home
bent until you fold
and i'll eat you whole

and sometimes you'll go away
and sometimes i'll want you back
and does he know where you lay
and does he know who i am

i just need to know

and there's somethings meant to fade
so i'll go now

i'll go now

......waitweight

aftertheparty ~ 4.4 (Throwaway, Snippet)

aftertheparty ~ 11.22 (Unreleased, Snippet)

Aftertheparty Snippet 20231122.mp3

back to me, come back to me
you can cut that up but after me
it just hit my throat like guillotine
you pop that, but after me
come back to me, bring it to me
you can cut that up but after me
it just hit my throat like gasoline
back to me, back to

i'll get back to that another day
i can't think about another day
there's no time so i'm never late
same color but a different shade
never deal always walk away
i can't even look you in the face
and you wait on what i'm gonna say
i'll get back to that another day

you can't pick it up, play it where it lay
you can't pick it up, i can't cut a break
i got mouths to feed, i got bills to pay
maybe i'm too old and don't got shit to say no more
maybe you can tell me it's gonna be okay
do you think that it's gonna be okay?
now i've seen some shit so now i'm not the same
i can fix it all another day

back to me, come to me
you can cut that up but after me
it just hit my throat like gasoline
you can pop that shit but after me
come back to me, bring it to me
wonder if you'll think about it after me
maybe change is too big of an ask from me
maybe i just need another day

woods

back to me
back to me
back to me
wonder if you'll think about it after me
maybe change is too big of an ask from me
day after day after day i repeat

hold on, wrist automatic with the motion
you'll see it all your life but i know you'll never hold one
father figure type, put the phone down and go get it son
we can't take it light, lines hittin' with propulsion
put 'em in the pit, basket meet the lotion
we just pour the shit we do not care about proportion
we just throw the shit we do not care about where it's going
it don't even matter if i'm sinking or i'm floating

day after day after day i repeat
bet this shit look good but it ain't all what it seem
it just hit my throat like gasoline
bet this shit look good until it's right at your feet
day after day after day i repeat
day after day after day i repeat
maybe i just need another day

another day

it's too much to go down at once
so i'll eat it day by day
which deity should i blame?
it's been months and it won't fade

who you would've been now
would you run around the house?
would you know my name by now?

i can't even talk about it
and we've had our fights about you
which deity should i hate?
it's been a year and it won't fade

who you would've been now
would you run around the house?
would you know my name by now?

and if you hear this play, don't ask me to explain
we'll see you when we see you
it might be some time yet
but i'll see you when i see you
as good as it can get
we'll see you when we see you
it might be some time yet
but i'll see you when i see you

on some other side
in some other life
on some other side
in some other life

some time yet,

the bottle thats all for my own 
she telling me i got old
im tellin you that you old
i don't need no one around
i don't need no one around i got it on my own
baby i would but you've been gettin too old
i don't need no one around i got it on my own
when the cup too strong
and when the pills come out you running home
tell me when my feelings run out where will you go
im sorry to tell you but the end of the show is here
the credits are rolling up here
dont you believe what you hear
i do not feel what you feel
i do not care what you feel
when the cup too strong
and when the feeling run low
know that im sending you home
she know that im sending her home

Embargo[prod by aftertheparty]

aftertheparty ~ Science (Snippet)

counting the grooves in my palms
the still in the air
the bother we knew
it's gone
it's so far gone
forget your name
it's not who you are

Aftertheparty Snippet 20231122.mp3

IAmAyato