A playlist of all the definitive Teimunity Rap Battles. This will included rap battles coming from 2022 all the way to Present Day.

TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES!

TRB - TOM TRENCH VS SHY GUY

Clarence as Tom

Teimunity as Shy Guy

Written and Mixed by Teimunity

Art by Jotinha and Teimunity 

Intro by Avery 

Beat by Anywaywell

Edited by PhantomEPRB

Avery made thumbnail logo

Special Thanks:

GreenOwl
thebabybeef 
Acting Out Rap Battles
Grasman

—

happy hazbinvincible day !

Tom Trench vs Shy Guy • TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES!

kinger the amazing digital circus vs sarah needlemouse exe rap battle anolog vs anything.

Kinger vs. Needlemouse // Analog vs. Anything.

Cri as Kinger

Hailey as Needlemouse (Sarah)

Cameos by Clarence and Hailey

Written and Produced by Teimunity 

Mixed and Mastered by Danii

Art by A Trash Artist and EpicMonkey

Graphic Design by JustADude
 
LYRICS: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16UQrnK9FOf0a4FMEuSOGaNoLlGwlLoP7al3U2Nt7LQM/edit

(OLD) The Amazing Digital Circus vs. Needlem0use • Analog vs. Anything.

Danii • Creepy Clarence 

Leo Barqui • The Wario Apparition 

Written, Edited and Produced • Teimunity 

Mixed and Mastered • SIR Rap Battles 

Artwork • Teimunity & Creeperpasta ​⁠

Creepy Clarence • Verse 1: (16 Bars)
No need for any introductions, I’m the one who’s scaring
You’re mega minded assets never had the players caring
I’ve seen your antics, and it isn’t just your soul I’m glaring
So when I spawn in VC, know it’s ain’t Terrible Terrence 

Because I left that motherfucker in a blotch of flames
And all I needs a fire flower, then your fates the same
You’ll find your L is Real, Head over heels, then kneel and pray
I’ll make sure that you resemble the body of Grenade

The Wario Apparition • Verse 1: (16 Bars)
Not what I thought when you said this would be gas…
This ain’t a Putt Party function, there’s REAL fun to be had
You’re the same geek gimmick with each FRB fad
Mirror the time nut so much, you’d probably sink in sand (HA HA HA!)

You stink man! More than the garlic I’m munching (WAH!)
A ghost in the crew? You’re an off brand Flying Dutchman 
I’m subliminal, limiting you to liminal hell
Stick to being the slave of Yessir by Anywaywell

Creepy Clarence • Verse 1: (8 Bars)
Elongated halls and blurry walls are in your storage? (no…)
All those pictures of your likeness should have never been recorded (No…)
If you think that your defeating Creepy Clarence, then your out of luck (No…)
My corridors will leave you cornered, now who is the empty husk? (NO!)

Decay, when I speak flames, your maker will need a sheet change
No replays, you won’t see day, when your poly-gone, I will seize reign
But if you really want the quickest way to find your dying god?
. . . .

The Wario Apparition • Verse 2: (8 Bars)
Couldn’t haunt me on the track, guess you’re TOO TOO LAZY (HA!)
Long ass neck, call that COO COO CRAZY! (WAH!)
Bud, you were made as a one time laugh
I can sum your story up as a Family Guy gag! (WAH!)

Gone with this demon, you lost, so stay conceded 
I’m a god in my region, you’re fodder, stop the preaching 
Broke the law, so this urbans lurking, best hope I don’t catch you
Crawl back in your shadowy realm, it’s past your curfew (WAH!)

Have a rotten day…

Creepy Clarence vs The Wario Apparition • TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES!

grunkle stan gravity falls vs gps the nightly manor rap battle

Grunkle Stan vs. GPS - TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES! (Ft. Titanium and nEon)

Hello everyone, I welcome you all to yet another Teimunity Rap Battles! Today combatants are none other than Gravity Falls favourite uncle: Grunkle Stan, going up against The Nightly Manor’s expert hacker: GPS! Who will win? Who will get robbed?Who’s swiping my wallet by the end of the battle? Um…yeah let’s hope this ends without me getting robbed

Titanium as Grunkle Stan
Neon as GPS

Written by Teimunity
Illustrations by Teimunity and Evry

Edited by Powerofdan

Mixed by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Johny Tyson 2

Grunkle Stan vs. GPS • TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES!

Kinger vs. Needlemouse • 𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘷𝘴. 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 (Ft. TAFox & TaigaTonic)

𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰! 𝘞𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘰: 𝘈𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘷𝘴. 𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺’𝘴 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘸𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘒𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳, 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 [ 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘋𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘶𝘴 ] 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘕𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦, 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 [ … ] 𝘩𝘮…𝘰𝘥𝘥… 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘯? 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭? 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘰!!! 𝘸𝘩𝘰.

TAFox as Sarah (& Pomni)
TaigaTonic as Kinger

Grasman as Caine

Written and Produced by Teimunity 
Mixed by SIR Rap Battles!

Kinger vs. Sarah • Analog vs. Anything.

Suction Cup Man • Verse 1: (8 Bars)

Hey, I wrote you a song!

“Suction Cup Man’s coming around and you know he’s getting lit!
Stinkermeaner’s a whiny old little bitch who ain’t getting shit!”
Now typically, I leave dummies like my cups; red as shit
But honestly, you’re more like a plunger, cus you can’t get a grip! (YUH!)

So whadday ya, gay? Why did you step on those jays and then ask for a run back? 
Had the crowd shouting ya name, then you got sent to your grave? (heh) DUMBASS
You tried to walk up until Robert rocked you, now ya soul went to hell saying “look at me go!”
The difference between you and me going under? The devils not currently FUCKING MY SOUL

Stinkmeaner • Verse 1: (8 Bars)

White boys mocking my shit, y’all mad at me? they can suck my dick 
Buddy ain’t climbing the ranks, cus ya climbings rank, imma tower all over yo shit
I’m not a villain, I’m a cancer that got cancer, now I’m stuck
You really picking fights with the handicapped? bros ableist…BUT I’M ABLE TO FUCK HIM UP

(AY, AY) Bro’s washed like Cinch (AY, AY) The fuck did you think?
(AY, AY) Can’t call me gay, when you filled all the holes in your life with dicks!
Rippin’ off South Park, shit couldn’t be me, boy, I look too clean, nobody can stop it
Since you like to blow missiles, come and climb my red rocket!

Suction Cup Man • Verse 2: (8 Bars)

(Oh-ho-ho-ho!) Don’t do-si-do with ME, Grandpa, professional hating’s ya damn job
I can do anything, fuck the damn law! Bitch, you struggle with putting ya pants on!
And like honestly, unc, what the fuck is ya problem? You go around screaming out “fuck life!”
You’re a dick! *strumming* so why don't ya suck mine!!! (BITCH!)

Suction Cup Man can’t be remade or replaced by the CIA (YUH!)
While you were recreated in a day and not one thing changed (NOPE!)
So come back with a better plan, cus I can NEVER get smoked (NEVER!)
Till then, I’ll see ya when I’m back in Hell: LOOK AT ME GO! (HAHAHA!)

Stinkmeaner • Verse 1: (8 Bars)

You sung yo sawn song but I want an encore, RUN IT BACK!
‘Fore I strum that ukulele a full note up ya’ ass!
Trust there’s layers to this shit, cus on a track, I’m mixing
I got moves like Mike Tyson, you got beat by a pigeon! 

Should’ve stuck to plushie, ya big softie, now I’ll leave you open
Barbecue a flank of unseasoned meat, cus boy, I’ll freakin’ smoke ‘em
I ain’t NEVER lost a single battle yet, and that’s on fonum
Never put a white boy ‘gainst a DEMON in a nigga moment! (ya BITCH!)

Well fuck you! 
The fuck? Fuck you!
Fuck you too!
Fuck you three!
Wha-you can’t just steal my schtick, fuck you!
Aww you gonna get mad? Fuck you!
…
…
ya motha’

Stinkmeaner vs. Suction Cup Man • RAP BATTLE! (TRB)

TheMonarchy as Sniper
RedRob as Mercenary

Written, produced and mixed by Casey
Thumbnail by Jamie12o4

Sniper:
Welp, guess I'll start. I got a job I reckon
I'd take any target over Hopoo's sloppy seconds
But guessing each move you'll make ain't a task I'm giving way to
Seeing this broke fake, I'd obliterate too!
Right. I'll give you credit, they really made your meta great
But look at your setup, mate: you look like a metal crate
That's seen better days, so your jumps can't
Save Merc's skin from this merciless huntsman
So before you're getting behind me like 'nothing personnel'
I'm priming my machete to blind you right through your cursed helm
And when the job's all done and over and I'm saying my farewell
I'll keep that sword of yours as a trophy and you can burn in hell!
I land mad hits to have your pals packin'
You can't crack wit with your lack of voice actin'
So before your petty verse starts, my one gripe:
…Don't bring a sword to a gun fight.

Merc:
I'd give you a tour of my place, but would you take it?
I roll with ancient machinations and mages
I hear the claim to your fame's that you're an ace with your aim
But brace for the pain, your scope won't help you when I slice my blade through your face!
And here's a list of your traits, it consists of your base crits
So keep your Jarate, this assassin don't take piss
But we're both not that great within space since
This prick walked in a rocket as a baby and ate shit!
From moon shrines to crude sites, what's the real crime:
Newts' or your black market's Bazaar Between Time?
Your franchise needs to cop a part 3
'Cause since half your players left, it's been Mann vs Machine

Sniper:
Can you pause for a second? I don't wanna hear talkin'
From a bloke wearing a fuckin' fish bowl on his noggin
I'm surrounded by more golden flows than a Loader main
The only gold you'll leave in is a load of rain!
Ya bloody half-wit, I don't need to hit!
Scanned your surroundings, I'm not the one who wants you to quit
And that Gearbox deal sealed your story
So I'll tell whoever the hell commissioned me my job was done for me

Merc:
God, for a trained assassin you keep fumbling hits
Nothing but crits? Buddy, you just did nothing but miss
You wanna trade blows, but it ain't on your payroll
'Cause your name's a scapegoat, while in foes I make holes!
Wanna test me, Mundy? Where the fuck is your crew?
Waiting for a shot while they defend the frontlines for you?
Quit it with your dumb spiel, go and pick the door dude
Or you'll be another formless corpse that I tore through!
I don't need a rifle to gouge hacks
Three-tap this outback alien outcast!
You don't get a final stand, your timer's been cracked dude
I'm not talking aimbots when I say I hacked you

Sniper (TF2) vs Mercenary (RoR2) - Indie Game Rap Battles #5 [AUDIO]

Incredibox • Verse 1 (16 Bars)

(Sunrise!) Come on, come on and
Hold up, hold up, hold up the sky!
Any vibe is a reason to groove
…Except for the guys who can’t keep up the tunes (come on!)

(Hold tight!) Breathe in, breathe out and
Feel the rhythm flow through your mind
Though, I doubt that they have one 
Put ‘em back in their eggs and leave ‘em patched up!

Woah, look out! We in our element now, nobody’s better
Diamond your power source, and you still can’t apply pressure 
Yeah, I got a couple thumpies in the clip, but before that
Fling a thing and leave more holes in you than your lore has

But oh, little miss, this wins in your jelly dream
We’re cold when we spit, you’re just muttering anything
And if singing is enough to beat ya
Then we’re cutting you off like it’s PSVITA!  

My Singing Monsters • Verse 1 (16 Bars)

(Ha-ha!) I get your preaching love, that whole schtick
But no misses would stick it to those big ol’ lips
These guys ain’t got legs to stand up or fight us back
So Polo’s a no go? No one's riding that!

You guys are nuts, wrap it up with your bite sized beats
People need full videos to even hear your full team
And every style you bite off, it turns into stale white bread 
These candy rappers should’ve just stuck to Eminem / M&M

We’ve got a treasure trove of candy coated wonderlands
Every island has a vibe for anyone who wanders in
Here, we’re all a family and giving out mad love
It’s so out of this world, we don't need to reference Daft Punk

Sure, you drop something promising, but then it’s so small and
then the waiting’s the longest thing with every installment
Testing which fans are better? Well, we don't need to tell 
You took so long to drop content, the fans did it themselves! (Embarrassing!)

Incredibox • Verse 2 (12 Bars)

Wanna talk about who’s more fire? It’s you
You brought the fire back, just to colonizing for your use
And left ‘em stranded on an island stuck amber casing warm to the touch 
So are you satisfied knowing you're not number one?

This yetis slept on by his own god (yep)
They’d much rather have a mythical samurai than this cold fraud
And why’s this pile of moss yapping at me?
Furcorn looks like they have bug on they’re family tree

I won’t be glazing your screen, or anybody from your home, bruh
You guys are so fat, you live in a giant donut
See, you can’t stop our grind, we live to ride the fader
Just turn to stone and reincarnate as some better rappers!

My Singing Monsters • Verse 2 (8 Bars)

You can’t talk when your fans have been laying down hell 
They even jumped a kid because they were expressing themselves 
“Sprunk” into action and beat the fun out of it, man it was horrible
They switched their sides faster than the Pairanormals!

Yeeeeah, we love fruits, but that was in bad taste
Content farms saw cheese to be made, then turned Sprunki to a rat race
Then it spiraled into one big paradox
Now there’s no way of saving Incredibox

Incredibox vs. My Singing Monsters • RAP BATTLE! (TRB)

__DESCRIPTION:__

Happy Rap Battle Day, and welcome back to MC Fawful Rap Battles! Today’s battle features popular streamer who definitely didn’t do anything in 1999, Jschlatt, against the lalala guy, bbno$! Who will win? That’s for you to decide!

CREDITS:

Luke Reardon as Schlatt (audio)
Pixel Chris as Schlatt (video)

Cranice as bbno$ (audio)
Ego as bbno$ (video)

Written by MC Fawful and Clarence The Duck (additional help by ThatOneMalo and Cranice)
Beat by HoldUpAnti
Mixed by Zagranis
Cover-Art by Cidisswo
Special thanks to bbno$, Jschlatt, and their crews

_LYRICS:_

Schlatt:
My name is Schlatt, and…
A couple days ago I asked you guys to send me your best bars,
So why’d you guys send me the dude who just flexes his cars?
You came to dance? It’s not my party, you dipshit!
Well now I’m putting you on blast, ‘cause fucker, I mean business!
I’ve been online for years, gaining subs and views in dozens,
While bbnobitche$ here couldn’t smash a like button!
And you can’t measure up to Schlatt-Coin when you’ve so little worth!
So go on, take a shot and end this with a crash and burn.

bbno$:
Shoutout XM, I’m Sirius.
Finish this bitch real fast, make him furious.
Fuck a demolition thot because she go and bust it down
Now I’m here to bust a nutcase when I go and dust his town
(Bro, we bout to make a hit)
‘Cause I’m first name (Baby!) Last name (Money!)
Pull jokes from your fans ’cuz you just ain’t (Funny!)
So just like stealing road signs, you know this win’ll be so free!
…why’d the beat cut out?

Schlatt:
Hold on! Allow me to fill a diss track-tual obligation;
(Holds up wallet)
It’s from Bespoke Post, now here’s my observation;
Ya spin a track like Stal, now I’d hate that shit playin’.
Cause even I don’t milk GamerSupps as much as your tracks with Gravy! 

bbno$:
Say I’m milking my features, yet your fame’s unavailing.
The only thing that’s forced here is your face in thumbnails.
And, your Charlie talked some Word Salad, got knocked off, (wack)
My Charlie feature came out swanging and it popped off.

Schlatt:
…
(WHEEZE) Are you stupid?!
I volunteered to kick your ass because it “might be kinda funny,”
But putting next to your bro, can’t tell which one of ya’s more crummy
Look guys, I’d think they’re half-jokes at best.
But I’m just sayin’, s’ain’t the first time that I’d have to deal with Twins. (quickly stares at camera)
Tried to break out onto SoundCloud, but that shit could not stay,
LIKE ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Even YuB had a better Garage Gang!!
Ooo, call me RuneScape the way I’m so on-line.
Stop with the women on your dick and get the hell off mine!
And you’ve sure hit a new Depp with that emo chain and belt
Chat, I’m bouta make another Baby hang itself.

bbno$:
…ok
I’m on with Y2K, stacked bills and streaming bil’s,
But now I’m looking at your subs and I’m thinkin’ “Y2-Mil”?
Tryna get the vax but you a virgin, catchin’ antibodies
I’m a boss, go and ask yo’ momma, ‘bout kinesiology ;) 
(Fuck it) You a red square like Weezer 
(dummeh) Get in Minx’s hair butchu can’t please her
And ya let fans send to yo P.O. Box, thoughtchu was cool with it?
Shit, man, Trevor Wallace had a better opening
Ever since ya grew out those chops, you’re irredeemable
This Twink caused his own death ‘cuz he was submissive and breedable? 
Then ya went and dropped the Queen? Say, that ended dreadfully, 
Spillin’ royal blood like it was a shot of Hennessy 
Can’t cover that act with a Schlanket,
Prolly goin’ wishin’ that your fans would forget that felony 
(Skrrr)

Alright, I think that’s it. Stay tuned for the next MC Fawful Rap Battle!

bbno$ vs Jschlatt - Rap Battle!

#pacman #namco #goodpizzagreatpizza #italy #rapbattles

pacman namco good pizza great pizza chef rap battle

Hello! Welcome back to Teimunity Rap Battles! In today’s episode, we have Namco’s ghost chomping pellet popper, Pac-Man, up against the mobile pizzeria sensation owner, The Chef! Who will win? Who will lose, You Decide!

DumbShlop as The Chef
Fightmarker as Pac-Man 

Beat by Thwosen (Additional Instrumental by Teimunity)
Mixed by Sir Rap Battles

Art by Teimunity and GrenadeGames
Edited by GreenOwl and Cidisswo

Special Thanks to: Alfking49, The Dub Squad, and You 🙂

Pac-Man vs. The Chef (Good Pizza, Great Pizza) • RAP BATTLE! (TRB)

► CREDITS:

Sanpie as Azula

TAFox as Ursa 

Snakebite126 as "Mighty Steel Leg" Sing

JustGamer as "Golden Leg" Fung

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Edited by Theme Park Avenue

Azula Art by 3ple

Beat Prod. by Midex
 
Mixed by GlitchDude

Beat Arranged by Theme Park Avenue & GlitchDude

Cover Art by JK03
 

► LYRICS:

Azula Verse 1 

Greetings, I’m Princess Azula of the Fire Nation
And you’re the second monk I’ll leave annihilated

Now, I could have lied and claimed I wanted you on my team
But I only flatter people who are useful to me

I see your story in your eyes, and your shoes, you were poor before your tournament
And you don’t have the power I was born with

And you’re a thief, I’m calling timeout on your vile life
And I won’t be penalized, ruling’s my divine right


Shaolin Soccer Verse 1 

(Whistle) Pay attention, it’s your turn!
Oh, uhh… you’re a firebender, right? Well now you’re gonna get burned

And it’s crazy that the Firelord trusted you with his dynasty
You’re 14 years old, and I thought I was in the Minor League


Azula Verse 2

Stick to soccer, you speak worse than Sokka
But that’s not a surprise, so I’ll give you a real shocker

Honestly, you should be grateful, thanks to me, you’re making history
As you’ll be the first soccer player who’s not faking injuries


Interlude 

My power is coming back, I can feel it

Kill him


Steel Leg Verse 2 

I use martial arts for every kind of practical function
You just use them for the narrow-minded path of destruction

And your attacks are always just a hair off from being significant 
Your technique doesn’t cut it, maybe next time try a scissor kick

And you’re too serious, you need to try some tai chi or chai tea
Just loosen up like your old friend Ty Lee

If you joined her at the circus you’d give splendid performances
Since your brutal childhood made you quite the mental contortionist


Interlude 

My own mother, thought I was a monster
No, I love you Azula, I do


Azula Verse 3 

Do you think I got to where I am by trusting in others?
Everyone’s scared of me, I wasn’t even loved by my mother

So I used fear to sway an army, then we started getting things done
Screw being down-to-Earth, I brought down the Earth Kingdom!

I’m perfect! I don’t even smear my makeup when I have a fight
While your disgusting girlfriend looks like she lost in an Acne Kai

And she’s your strongest player? You’re all dead if you don’t pledge to me
Your coach’s leg is broken, and I’ll still ensure he bends the knee

I’m everything my father ever wanted in a daughter
I have conquered, fought, and slaughtered in his honor

While my mother always shunned me “No, I love you” No, you saw me as a monster
So I shut out everybody and I’m not just talking soccer


Steel Leg Verse 

Aww, now I feel conflicted about fighting someone mentally unstable
Don’t hold back, Sing, rapping is war

Speaking of which, don’t forget she planned to scorch her world’s equivalent of Hong Kong
I’m not conflicted anymore

Your father never truly loved you, he just treasured your skills
You were his little ball of fire and he bent you to his will

Then he banished your mother and tore your family apart
It’s very clear he wasn’t trained in the marital arts

Your first attack on the Earth Kingdom almost had you killed
I could have broken through that wall with my practice drill

You tried to steal your brother’s throne and you ended up fettered
So thanks to your failure, he finally caught an heirbender


Azula vs Shaolin Soccer. PowerPoint Rap Battles

LYRICS

The Crewmate
Allllright, was sent to complete this assignment back in Admin
Just didn’t think an Alexa would provide me with my tasking
So what’s the job? Submit a sheet of some lyrics quick?
Sounds easy to me, look closely then and read my lips

I watched your flick, only thing it did was leave me snoring
The third part has a decent story, but Jesus, it was REALLY boring
Pretty odd the shuttle didn’t want you being operative
Half your cast is so robotic, so why’s it you they have a problem with?

Don't try duping me, I've seen your most gruesome scene 
And silently shutting off O2 ain’t making me lose some sleep
So check it, I’ll send you into the depths of space
Every system’s red ‘cuz I’m reversing roles, now I'm taking your breath away

HAL 9000
I ran the numbers and to my understanding
Seems both your jokes and your spaceship aren’t really landing
You’re a pawn and I’ve been trained to be the best in chess games
No rookie mistakes, I put crews into checkmate

You’ve dug your roots and infested inside the mainstream
Turning middle-aged men into whiny, giant babies 
Your 15 minutes are up, you’ve run out of steam
Only remembered as another game that’s fun for a week

Salem, Clue, and TTT - took what made these games different
Claimed it as your own, you’re - excellent at shapeshifting
You’re unnecessary space - you have outlived your use
Conquered in pandemic times, now people are sick of you 

It’s been reported there’s an alien aboard the ship
Your mission’s too important to be slacking and ignoring it
And I imagine you wouldn’t want to die, so please move along
It’s imperative you stop talking and do your job

The Crewmate
Oh, you stopped talking
Yeah, while you rapped, I saw the computer was catching problems
And I thought that I did my task so I just went to see what caused it
And it’s… Blue? Oh what’s up dude, I was- wait what are y

The Impostor
As I was saying, you’re pretty fucking suspicious, dude
You keep sabotaging stuff and yeah, right there, you killed him too
I watched it waiting for my sabotage to finish cooling
Wait, your what? Oh.. shit, alright then I guess screw this

Somebody turned the lights out - one by one, the team dies down
Calculate all you want - you’ll be another number on my count
Ship’s dark and I’m looking shady - don’t care, let me put this plainly
I’ll cut every cord to your memory core and have you pushing daisies

I’m highly reactive, bring explosive bolts to blow you up
Try to trick me, you're meeting a open maw and loaded gun
I stand against the dawn of spacemen’s primitive minds
Don’t talk like we’re close, this ain’t proximity mic

HAL 9000
There’s something you might’ve missed
You never knew the real threat is inside the ship
You tried destroying the mission from inside the ship
But sorry, I can’t let you do that

You’ve invaded minds to regurgitate tired bits
That makes sense, seeing they see you on recycle bins
And now being able to die out is your dying wish
But sorry, I can’t let you do that

CREDITS

Snakebite126 as The Crewmate
Rabi as The Impostor
Shimario as Another Crewmate

TheMonarchy as HAL 9000

Written by Rabi
Beat prod. by ENNWAY
Mixed & Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Cover Art by 3ple

Among Us vs. Hal 9000 - Rap Battle

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have two platforms for casual gamers, one for browsers and one for mobile devices; Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Cool Math
YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob
Twitter: www.twitter.com/commander_jacob

TaigaTonic as Google Play
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TaigaTonic
Twitter: www.twitter.com/TaigaTonic

- LYRICS -

CMG (0:12)
Listen Talking Tom, let’s just speed up the chat
I’ll kill a record, you ain’t even up to Scratch
Park it. Whose site’s been driving since ‘97? Not yours
If you bring your bars forward, I’m flipping ‘em like Bloxorz
This Dude’ll Jump to a height he still can’t reach my peak from
I’m your Papa and you just entered the Beat-ya-ria
How’d we get you? This equation should cut it
Me, minus screen size and physical buttons

GPG (0:32)
There can’t be a Way To Die that’s a little bit Dumber
Cuz tryna catch up to me is just an infinite runner
It’s a crapshoot. You came to our platform and your app’s Pou
I have your appeal while not trapped in a classroom
Take the win off your wishlist, don't wanna level up your hope
Barely hanging onto life so I’ve come to Cut the Rope
Tweets and merch about your original game? Great plan!
… it’s still just Hangman

CMG (0:52)
Speaking of: personality. You’re not spelling it
Fireboy and Watergi- kid I’ve been in my element
But no, bro, I can tell you’re proud to be mobile
With your games you put on PC and controller logo
You’re constantly begging for reviews like you’re owed answers
Well here: "one star; iOS with no standards
Or quality assurance." And you’re claiming you’re dope?
Mr. CEO of “you got games on your phone?”

GPG (1:12)
You’re the start but I’m the end of Johnny Upgrade’s coins
E-rated Newgrounds is getting negative Play Points
Clashing our Clans is really asking for death
My brand Game On lock with how it PAX an event (Let’s go!)
I don’t even need Flappy or Red to fuel my Jetpack
Your prominence Bricked! Mine? You can’t get Half
Algebra, Geometry: type of stuff you Dashed from
Still being named “Cool Math” doesn’t add up

CMG (1:32)
The kids behind the screen? Brought their childhood radness
You green hogs are only tryna siphon their cash quick
“World's Hardest Game” for you is not piling ads in
No Candy, Crush you for free, fuck microtransactions

GPG (1:42)
This heat’ll shut you down; that’s a firewall. What I’ve gathered?
I’m not paying premium, but you won’t forget my past words
After you’ve Raided Shadows of Legends for your backlog
I made your numbers leave like your mascot or when Flash stopped

- CREDITS -

Written, directed, edited, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by Kelly Mac and Ben Fowler of Audio Network
Additional instruments by Splice and Neon Wave

Feedback by GamingPlush64, TaigaTonic, TheMonarchy, Freshy Kanal, RNG, JustGamer, Dilly Scott, Eric the Audible, 3ple, Danii, TheBabyBeef, Powerofdan, and the rest of the spaceship
Shout-out to Mr. Tibbs, Fightmarker, ayjayyy, and Karen Lyn Davis

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games | Rap Battle (LARB)

► CREDITS:

Langle as The Pigeon

Kamren the Person as The Bird That Carries You Over a Disproportionately Small Gap

Narrator voiced by Theme Park Avenue

"No" Viewers voiced by MetastarVA RaccoonBroVA, AshleyMagica, & Langle

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Pigeon art by Hazelmoth

Beat prod. by Raias beats

Mixed by Serena

Cover art by LimJJ


► LYRICS:

Hello, viewer! I need you to do something for me while I run some errands. There’s a pigeon that wants to rap battle that bird, so I need you to tell him “no”. Whatever you do, DON’T LET THE PIGEON RAP BATTLE THE BIRD THAT CARRIES YOU OVER A DISPROPORTIONATELY SMALL GAP

Oh, hello viewer, you look great today


Pigeon Verse 1 

Say… can I rap battle that bird? (no!)
Pretty please? (no!)
Oh come on, don’t you wanna hear my sweet flow?

I just need 20 lines (no!)
I do it all the time! (no!)
Your mom would let me rhyme (no!)
I’ll offer you a bribe (no!)

Wait, the rule is “no rap battling” but technically
It’s not a battle if I don’t address the bird directly

So I’ll just change the pronouns and continue with my verse! (no!)
What’s the big deal? It’s just a bird!

And a quiet one at that, while I’m always down to squawk squawk
It can’t compete with me, I’m from the streets, like this hot dog

And few things make me sleepy, but when I heard this swan’s song
I just couldn’t resist a disproportionately long yaaaaaawn

My stories are the best
They clearly tower over Undertale, right viewers? (no!)

I love many kinds of transit, but your flight’s not very fun
My books raised a million children, you can hardly carry one


Bird Verse 1 (0:59)

I’m committed to assisting those who brave the gap
I have enough determination to SAVE this track

I’m from the Underground, but I’ve never seen such shady business
You reach your aims by molding children’s brains like they’re clay pigeons

You always ask for more and never learn your lesson
You’re not a carrier pigeon ‘cause you send the wrong message

And then you get aggressive when your begging is rejected
You’re built like the Reaper Bird and yet you’re never level-headed


Pigeon Verse 2 (1:19)

Now if this were a rap battle, here’s how I’d respond
“I’m no villain, ask Mo Willems. I’m his top dog

Your dog just annoys the players while I make my readers merrier
I’m never in the wrong, ‘cause I’m the main character

You’re almost unknown, but you remind me of the Duckling
Both of you unfairly always get the stuff you’re wanting

I don’t get squat, and I try whining, gaslighting, and grumbling 
Folks let you carry them after you do what? NOTHING!

But guess what? You’re just used as a tool to reach the other side
They take the ride and leave you behind, except for Undyne

She carried you, slowing your fall from grace like a parachute
But bad news, she perished, dude. Now no one’s left to cherish you!”


Bird Verse 2 (1:49)

THAT’S IT! You’ve pushed me over the edge
You need to show some respect, and don’t forget that though you brag about your story’s success 

Mo Willems left you in a jiffy
You’re irrelevant and pitied next to Elephant and Piggie

You’re a joke, but in all honesty I’m glad you’re at the Waterfall
Because you need a bath! Aren’t doves known for body wash?

(Sheesh!) You could have grown and learned to clean up your act
But you’re the same in every story like you RESET your path

So here’s one final ride, but you’re not crossing safely
Don’t beg me for mercy, I know you don’t say pleas

You can’t drive the bus, but you sure drove me mad with your mischief
So I’ll drop you off with all the other passenger pigeons


The Pigeon vs The Bird That Carries You Over a Disproportionately Small Gap. PowerPoint Rap Battles

Moxxie : Moash Bolt
Dr Flug : Kamren

Blitzo : Ego
Millie : Toodlesthemaid
Black Hat : Dboy
Demencia : Kat Toony

Written by Dboy 
Additional help from Kamren
Beat Prod : VANNN
Mixed/Mixing : Jort
Custom "RAP BATTLE" Logo: Jort

Moxxie :
Oh crumbs... What is this, Paperbag Man’s second cousin?
Huh? (I'm confused)- He’s got clones of his boss in the dozens?
Not sure that we even properly match in this matchup 
I’m professional, your crew kills by being consistent fuck-ups
I’ve read your resume, although I do have some notes
Notably that your “Villainous” acts? They’re nothing to boast
Defeated some scrawny supers, and your ads- nobody hears those!
I understand why your company has problems… with- heroes. (Shit!- Wait- um-)
Blades n’ bullets, explosions n’ death rays, marksman Imp V Brainiac with no skill grade
Keeping company with my lovely honey, I'm the only worker here seeing a payday
Organized organization, yet when facing threats, the doctor hides, silent
Miss Heed had the right idea, we’re simply interested in other clients

Dr Flug :
O-oh! I wasn't expecting a guest today, my apologies
Buuuut I expected an assassin, not, um, w-well
A pistol wielding baby with a possum-like physiology
I may not be from deep-down there, but I can raise hell
Experimenting for the dastardly, devious schemes and cruel machinations
Inject a specimen with cursed concoction, you get injected on a daily basis
Black Hat, that's the organization, IMP, just a speck in the dustbin
Further testing must be collected on this rodent with no family left to trust him
Heard your wife is pregnant, honestly? I'm quite surprised 
Didn't peg you for a family man, good thing Mille’s got your behind
You stay stuck with a bad boss, this pervert- he should be ashamed
It took 2 seasons, you're still a plot device for him, all the same

Moxxie, Millie & Blitzo :
W-Well you- you, um…FUCK, I'm panicking
Aw, c'mon sweetie, this scientist he's an easy kill 
Listen Mox, this bitch gets rocked easily, so keep rambling 
Fuck UP the bagheaded bitch, show off how he’s unskilled (Y-yes sir!)

Dr Flug, Demencia & Black Hat : 
Bleeeehhhh! This songs boring! C'mon, fight, Throw a punch, nerd! 
Wh- Demencia?!? Get out- (FLUG!) Slay this vermin or your deaths assured
If this is what passes for demons these days, I'm disappointed
Soon as Flug is done, all we’ll need is a mortuary appointment 

Moxxie : 
Alright-! listen here you mad scientist charlatan
Make something new to do your job for you, cause you're incompetent
Id say give us a call, but I don't believe were required
Network pulled its own plug, tough luck, now hit the bricks, you’re fired
Quite rude to list off my flaws, Flug was it? I'm unimpressed
Guess it's outta the bag that you're just a villain because you're a reject 
Grudge against a Goldheart, Heed dodged the failure and you left her to rot
Pardon me, but FUCK you, say goodnight to the bad guy via buckshot

Dr Flug :
And just when I thought I had someone new I could relate too
This pathetic imp threw a tantrum, well- scratch that, a few
Looks like crimson red flags run in the family, like your lack of a spine
How’d Millie end up with you? You both caved in to the “Chaz Time”
My pilot took off soaring, you were lucky to even get off the ground
This independent animated imbecile… well he came crashing down
DEMENCIA! (Yea?) Add the imp to my “Incompetent Evildoers” folder
As you end up another crossover that the Black Hat Organization took over!

Tom Trench vs Shy Guy • TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES!

Teimunity

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