on city busses in the back with every reason to live..<3

Back when my daddy would run through the door

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtcvwHXJipg

opposite ends of the room, love is there but there's a distance i can't undo.
i built it all up in my head, felt the same but somehow differently or unsaid.

a fire so red could last until we're both dead, but i've been burned before, it's a cliche but my scars are still sore.

i want to take back everything i told you and remember all the times i would hold you. maybe you don't know who i am, maybe i was scared and ran. 
goodbye is hard to do, especially without "i love you."

opposite ends of the state, happiness once was enough to know what i pushed away. but that is SO fucking cheap. you deserve better than that, you deserve better than me.


i want to take back everything i told you and remember all the times i would hold you. maybe you don't know who i am, maybe i was scared and ran. 
goodbyes are hard to do, especially without "i love you."

opposites *NOW ON SPOTIFY<3* (video link in description)

<3 prod. https://soundcloud.com/vector_kid
fan art by https://twitter.com/kleocchi

[lyrics]
Yeah I’m feeling good but what does that even mean
I’m still scared I know that death is waiting for me
I don’t feel prepared, I got family praying for me
Cause it’s been too long that I’ve been on the brink of insanity
I cannot see
The person in the mirror has never been me

But my blood turns the dust into roses
My blood turns the dust into roses

I’m chasing all these dreams they run from me
& I can’t keep up but I’m fucking trying
I feel like all I’ve ever had is me
& I feel like I still don’t fuckin know me

Dust to Roses (prod. vector_kid)

prod. https://soundcloud.com/oilcolor

[lyrics]

I wanna go back
Back to the old me
But she doesn't exist 
She already told me

I wanna go back
To when I was just a kid
On city buses in the back
With every reason to live

I wanna go back
Back to when I cared
Back to when I could stare in the mirror
Without crying

I just wanna go back
Back to when little things meant so much more
Back when my daddy would run through the door
Back to when I didn't hate so much that I can't sleep anymore

I wanna go back
Chasing ice cream trucks with my sister
Aint been in touch since I fucked up, damn I miss her

I wanna go back

I Wanna Go Back (prod. oilcolor)

can't let go this time w/ velvetears [prod fats'e]

produced @prodreaper 

lyrics:
(scum)
mistakes that we made 
can never be erased 
but we can try and try again 
cause i, i'm falling deeper than i did before 
i kiss the ground
i'm falling down 
i kiss the ground 
i'm falling now
i'm lost, i'm lost
i'm still lost 
find me, find me, find me, find me 

(VELVETEARS)
im lost
and i don’t think that I’m worth finding
i stay inside 
cuz the truth in the sun is too blinding
ya i wanna die
tell me something that i aint heard a million times
I’m not a pretty image u can paint in the sky
i hate to say hello because i hate to say goodbye
i swear ill cut a throat if i hear another lie
i swear ill cut my throat if i waste anymore time
i hate to say goodbye

hate to say goodbye w/ VELVETEARS (prod. reaper)

i want you to leave me for dead idk

prod. https://soundcloud.com/oilcolor

[lyrics]
I'll meet you on the roof we met on
The same one that we never leapt from
The same one with that ledge we slept on
Snorting dust til the sun crept up 

I'll meet you in our bedroom 
Overlooking grass we tripped on every day 
With that old drawer where we kept our secrets tucked away
I keep reaching for my phone to tell you all about my day
I can't wrap my heart around the words that you will never say 

You made me promise 
That I wouldn't die without you
You made me promise 
That I wouldn't cry about you

You told me I should sing instead of cry
I made my first song that fuckin night 
You loved the parts of me everyone else hates 
You told me those were the parts that made me me 

And you made me promise 
That I wouldn't die without you
You made me promise 
That I wouldn't cry about you

But where is your promise
Why did you cry about me
Where is your promise
Why did you die without me

You Promised Me (prod. Oilcolor)

love tears us apart (prod.brobak

love tears us apart (prod.brobak)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qG-lvGgAN4

prod. https://soundcloud.com/taylor
mix/mast. https://soundcloud.com/youngburial

[lyrics]
You always be letting me down
Wish I could keep trying 
But I’m done denying
That you are the reason I’ve found
Pieces of me that I wish I could kill 

And I can’t look in your eyes 
I don’t wanna see
The person I can’t trust right in front of me
You robbed me of a love that I really need
Hurts the most to know that you don’t need me

And I hope that I end up nothing like you
I really fuckin hope I’m nothing like you

You let me down, let me down slowly
It’s been a few years since you’ve known me
I’m scared every night for when you die 
Will I regret this hateful waste of time

But I hope that I end up nothing like you
I really fuckin hope I’m nothing like you
I hope that I end up nothing like you
I really fuckin hope I’m nothing like you

Nothing Like You (prod. taylor morgan)[video in bio]

https://soundcloud.com/killedmyself
vocal mix by soundcloud.com/iamrellim

whip broke again and i still aint shit
you don’t what id do to fucking make this
you don’t know the road I’ve been down
just to stay here
pick it stick it flip it then erase it
check back try to relax 
dont mistake this as me coming clean
i aint sayin shit filler for an empty room

just to ease the pain in
roll a couple light em get up
for a minute now I’m changing
every line i right
i despise em all
i can’t stand this
delete another song
write another bar
just to hate it
work another day just to make enough
to get what little i want
that aint doing shit but rearranging
every fucking  thought 
i should have pushed way back
I’m just hanging by the thread 
we’ve sewn together
to make this bed
that we now lay in
have you even been
listening to a word I’m saying
so many delays
I’m losing count
tractions fading
I’m blasted in the black
lustful wishes
giving me a fucking
heart attack
this the tenth joint
I’ve smoked
in the past hour and
a half
fuck a fucking show
i just want my money back  

hop up in it
oh we back again
round for round
i be smacking hits
know you lames
all fuck with this
y’all be dropping duds
but they fuck with it
don’t you care a bit
change things up
maybe try to switch
sticking to the script
seems to work the best


putting my heart in to be washed away
waking up checking the fucking plays
lets see who aint gone respond today
another blog posting all the shit that i fucking hate
what the fuck is it gonna take
i love it and hate it all so much
i need a fucking break
watching the people move up 
who i want to cave
negative energy is all i can muster myself
to fucking bring
i don’t see why i can’t even think
a positive thought long enough
to keep me sane

still aint shit (prod killedmyself)

mix/mast. https://soundcloud.com/youngburial <3

I Wanna Go Back (prod. oilcolor)

VELVETEARS

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