this took a while
huge shoutout to dirkle aka @deadman

prod. me
live instruments recorded by me also

available on all platforms!

lyrics:

(chriad)
you know your words cut deep
everything you said to me
you make it hard just to come back home
you know i'm struggling
'cause i'm never sure what you mean
when you change your mind and i never know

but i know the
truth hurts you don't want to hear it
got me fucked up for no reason
i don't understand your feelings
and you never step out to calm down a bit
truth hurts you don't want to hear it
got me fucked up for no reason [for the rest of my life]
put all the blame onto me
you give me no choice but to leave

(deadman)
i‘ll take the blame for it all
despite the fact i tried
you just put up a wall
and filled my head with lies
and i know you won't change, love
you fucked up the way i think, love
and i don't know what i'm doing here
with someone who'd take my life
(deadman + chriad)
if they could now

(chriad)
if they could now
truth hurts you don't want to hear it
truth hurts you don't want to hear it

truth hurts you don't want to hear it
[truth hurts you don't want to hear it]
got me fucked up for no reason
[truth hurts so i'mma spare your feelings]
truth hurts you don't want to hear it truth hurts you don't want to hear it
[truth hurts you don't want to hear it]
got me fucked up for no reason got me fucked up for no reason
[truth hurts so i'mma spare your feelings]

[truth hurts you don't want to hear it]
[truth hurts so i'mma spare your feelings]
[truth hurts you don't want to hear it]
[truth hurts so i'mma spare your feelings]

Spotify

truth hurts (ft. deadman 死人)

@osoarin
prod by me
spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/6zpZxjbIRakhJmLzQJ4wnH?si=326ec8f3acd245c0

<3

for my valentine

for my valentine +osoarin

prod @saiwai 
gangy ┏ (゜ω゜)=👉 @yokulol
old song
floor2

lyrics:

~~~~~

helper:

2 3
just let me take off my face
so i can breathe
ive been chained to myself
and i dont wanna leave
i tell my friends that it hurts
but it works
drive away in my hearse
but i think i went too far

ya they always told me that i wouldnt make it
spineless
ive been on my own shit
ive been blazin
(fakin)
yeah i was here before
quit fakin it
fuck a beat switch
all yall on some lame shit
yeah i tried, and ive tried
but i didnt even do it on purpose
i just wanna say that u werent worth it
i dont even know why im hurtin
(2x)

yoku:

thats what they talk bout'
really thought that we could be somethin special 
ohhhh, afraid its getting worse tho
imma take my time oooooo ohhhhh
im just runnin from myself how im chained up
i dont really know how they think they can change ya, boi
nananana ohhh oooohh ohh ohhh

send lyrics bitch

~~~~~

helper:

ya they always told me that i wouldnt make it
spineless
ive been on my own shit
ive been blazin
(fakin)
yeah i was here before
quit fakin it
fuck a beat switch
all yall on some lame shit
yeah i tried, and ive tried
but i didnt even do it on purpose
i just wanna say that u werent worth it
i dont even know why im hurtin
(2x)

too far w/ yoku

art credit: @rpsu (irusu)
produced by @ogpichu and a bit by me

//Lyrics

was it something you meant to say to me
i need a break, you on my rank falsely
got em in, run from the jakes, im gonna take what I need
I cannot lose, take another route
I know that soon youll know what im 'bout
you got this room fillin up with doubt

you just wanna take, mine
you never say sumn, feels like we watchin paint, dry
I could just wait time till I know I can make it right
fake, disguise
wait, this time
cause im gonna come back and
take, mine
you never say sumn, feels like we watchin paint, dry
I could just wait time till I know I can make it right
fake, disguise
wait, this time
cause im gonna come back

im at your home
you're not alone
you shut the door on me
walkin and steppin in clothes
you cant afford, on me
i dont need your advice
only lost when I try
god, my thoughts wanna die I
swear to god if you wont say something
Ive been in the wrong but I wont fake nothing
sinking in style
I was just a child
was it something you meant to say to me
i need a break, you on my rank falsely
got em in, run from the jakes, im gonna take what I need
I cannot lose, take another route
I know that soon youll know what im 'bout
you got this room fillin up with doubt

you just wanna take, mine
you never say sumn, feels like we watchin paint, dry
I could just wait time till I know I can make it right
fake, disguise
wait, this time
cause im gonna come back and
take, mine
you never say sumn, feels like we watchin paint, dry
I could just wait time till I know I can make it right
fake, disguise
wait, this time
cause im gonna come back

doubt

doubt [p. pichu]

on all plats!!

we dont rlly like u nah!!
kicked her to the curb i dont give a fuck
and this bitch wanna talk shit bruhhh
petty as fuck keep it short jus like a haiku

i dont talk alot
bitches on my dick they know i fuck alot (bro wtf)
i finished off alot
im way too faded i put that on godd
i know these bitches wanna talk shit
i know these people always on sum fuckin op shit
im runnin circles but u kno i fuckin profit
i cashed a check n now im runnin outta options uh huh

shawty got me mixed like a tongue twister 
yea i cant even act like i dont miss her
dont know why i thought that i could fix her
i be goin out like a light fixture
i aint doin too well
this just feels like hell
i keep doin it again like a carousel
keep on makin these mistakes
i just always sell
know that u dont wanna talk
hope ur doin well

@aftrrs
ha ha ha
look whos rlly laughin now
had to get my racks up
had to boss up
im not stoppin now
that boy playin catch up
he cant match up
u not makin sound
u know im jus better 
aint no lesser
when i come around
noo we dont rlly like u we spite u
but u aint we rlly worth my time so i wont fight u
and u aint like me but u wanna be like me
all this smoke im seein red
i might need sum visine

we don't rlly like u!! w/ aftrr (hellamase + me)

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/16aPg17al8DKBm8LyMn4eE?si=9f8e74ca0f344527
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/cd-feat-ry-2

guitar by othello
additional production by me and ryan
written and performed by me and ryan
with @rywrrd (show him love please)

i lied i'm sorry next one will be a summer tune <3
thank you for listening always :)

///
a toast,
play your cd
the music brings you peace
alone
so don't mind me
I had a stupid dream again

you thought you had from the start
I don't want have to break your heart
but it broke
and now that cd drowns in static
a sour note
I highly doubt it

your favourite song
your radio I turn it on
we fell in love in your shitty car
with static on your heart
screaming out our favourite part

I made a stupid decision
in my mind, clouded dumb inference
I gave it all that I had
but all I had was indifferent
I'd break my arms off to help you
if it meant that you would listen
I stare and talk to the wall
scratched disc had tarnished the image
I thought I loved you

cd w/ ry

prod @f3arme + @so-r-u

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/60j2otKkd2KSFrCHHKORYW?si=63ea55dc4a854ae8

how much time we lost?
girl i cant keep track
i dont own my thoughts
been through hell and back
dont know what to say
girl i cant hold on to that
did me wrong and then u blame me
for how i react

i cant run no more
time i really pack it all up
i can play for score
end of day it dont mean enough
i been feeling down
somehow u always gon show up
hurt me all around
girl i know u calling my bluff

say he better i doubt it
u cant even talk about it
i hear your words surround me
baby my head isnt free
break my heart into pieces
u know i dont need this
all part of your defense
im just caught in the sequence
girl its hard to breath
got me stuck in the deep end
damn its hard to think
dont know why you were leaving
feelings start to shift
i swear i wish i could repent
girl u full of blessings
i just wish i could reap them

bluff (feardorian + cranes)

cover art by https://twitter.com/ukon3333

we been sittin on this one for a while. proud to call these amazing people my friends. go follow these talented goats and happy friday!! love yall - Okah

<3 

https://soundcloud.com/fvtl
https://soundcloud.com/t1gerstar
https://soundcloud.com/rans0m
https://soundcloud.com/chanelfather
https://soundcloud.com/prod_pk

NULLTRIP RADIO! + pk  (feat - tigerstar, fvtal, rans0m, chanelfather)

obvious (MURRRR)

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0IHbekaueGek7nFPKpZpbD?si=89260079818e4242
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/desideratum

produced by 8een & arcane
additional production by me
mixed written performed by me
+ thank you eve for mixing advice

frick north york
thank you for listening, i hope you enjoy <3

///
the more that I try, more that I hide
the more that I try, more that I hide

the past few months I felt like I would die
before I did anything that I loved, oh my
I'll stay strong
eighteen round the corner, how'd I (make it!)
this long
all the pressure makes my head hurt
give it time and it'll get better
and if you hate it well then, know I put in effort :/
I do my best, how dare you say that I don't
still get nervous when there's lumps in my throat

I'm aware no one said it'd be easy
spoke to the teller now everything's clear, see
it all
pretty girl
girl

and if I don't wake up
tell every single person I love
that I put all my heart in
I will be an artist
there'll be people that care and I'll build something honest

go!
don't hide
do you even know who you are?
go!
how'd you even call that shit art? (desideratum)
go back pull your hair out, restart

I can't focus well my darling
got a stutter when I'm talking
you broke the news as I was walking
news when I was promised

desideratum

prod. joshwa
cov: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/17592254788063685/

I know it's not very good, but I thought I might aswell drop it on sc
lyrics: Idek

bluff (feardorian + cranes)

vmdarius

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