worst days (prod. sorrow bringer & born hero)

dylan lotus - Chains (w/feelnum)

prod jack wilson <3

[lyrics:]
i wish that i could give her my love
but she wants me to leave her alone
she got a special place in my heart
shes the one im calling my home
i never thought you'd leave me
i never thought you'd treat me like you do right now
i know you dont believe me
but loving you is easy
i think about you all night long <3

loving you is easy (jack wilson)

makeup [p. jewelryboy]

"The panopticon is a type of institutional building and a system of control designed by the English philosopher and social theorist Jeremy Bentham in the 18th century. The concept of the design is to allow all prisoners of an institution to be observed by a single security guard, without the inmates being able to tell whether they are being watched.

Although it is physically impossible for the single guard to observe all the inmates' cells at once, the fact that the inmates cannot know when they are being watched means that they are motivated to act as though they are being watched at all times. Thus, the inmates are effectively compelled to regulate their own behaviour. The architecture consists of a rotunda with an inspection house at its centre. From the centre, the manager or staff of the institution are able to watch the inmates. Bentham conceived the basic plan as being equally applicable to hospitals, schools, sanatoriums, and asylums, but he devoted most of his efforts to developing a design for a panopticon prison. It is his prison that is now most widely meant by the term "panopticon"."

do with that what you will

LYRICS:

i could do it forwards 
i could do it backwards
i could do it any way i like
the thought of someone watching
led me to a caution dictate how i live my life
observing who will spectate
perception of a vague hate
projection of opinions on my mind 
i don’t know who’s watching keep the panopticon alive 


one step and i’m a revenant
my pacing set a precedent
that i don’t gotta wear a letterman to be a better man than my fellow man
those empaths? go ahead let em in
cause the company that i keep unseen by me cause i’m not counting em i’m asleep
dreaming about options taken progress i’ve forsaken 
for the fear judging spectators to berate my creation
maybe B-Rate in relation to my peers in speculation
maybe i won’t pull the favorite to win and i’m still debating


whether i’m still growing up or simply grown and in a rut
my buried trauma come in clutch when i believe i’ll make the cut
say i only know the things i’ve ever known 
cacophony of crowds won’t you please just take my hone
i could take a longer time than planned but cool composure in demand
although i don’t know who commands these screams into the void i’m in
who is watching let them in
show the face i’m trynna win


laying in my bed sipping chamomile
chilling with my cat, chamomile 
without another voice reality just isn’t real
i found a cover from acceptance of the way i feel
i feel enlightened half the time but confidences half life isn’t high
so i’m up and down a sin wave is the function of my mind
and in conjunction with occurring trends and my deviance away from them
i lack the confidence to feel secure about decisions
that i make
break away from echo chambers bubbles trolls and instigators
saving face and shame go hand in hand when done for commentators
faceless wardens this a prison with no warning 
judge and jury in my head and still i worry 
bout the outcome and reception of my vulnerability 
shouldn’t look to others for mental stability 
eyes will drain your energy
but validation is a drug to me
and i can’t seem to get clean 
and that shit really gets to me

panopticon [prod. pieper]

Circle of Life +o (mxb x deadbroke)

I'm still learning

"medicine" off of deathbed volume 1
recorded and mixed by drewisdead, twilight blue & ILYL aka draven.fm

makeup [p. jewelryboy]

wallflwr

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medium sean archive [2017-2024]

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