production: me & soma (@prodsoma)
mixing & mastering: me

instagram: instagram.com/avit69
youtube: youtube.com/c/avit69
streaming platforms: fanlink.to/AViT69

lyrics:

[intro]
feel alone n helpless
i paved this road w/ no end
tired of playing pretend
just wanna get out this mess

i’m not okay, i confess
these last few months, i’ve been stressed
i just have so much regrets
i just have so much regrets

[verse]
i’ve only had myself to get through all of this, it’s hell.
it’s lonely when the ones u used to know have said farewell
bleeding out, my eyes r open
can’t see, all my senses broken 
i wish that i wasn’t so hopeless
i wish that i wasn’t so hopeless

[chorus]
nobody even knows it, but i’m tired
i can feel killin all of my desire
doesn’t help when all my “friends” don’t even bother
not a thing that i can try to make me calmer
i’m drowning in emotions down beneath 
i’m grinding all my teeth
it’s getting hard to breathe, so...

tell me, was it a waste?
dug six feet down, no escape.
feels like i just got replaced
by someone better than me
if i left w/o a trace, no one would ponder
this path i’m going down, don’t even wanna 
staying silent cuz i don’t want any drama
heart is bleeding on the floor, guess that’s just karma 

[verse]
i tried my hardest just to be there for y’all
gave every person my all
but u still let me just fall 
u stare and laugh at me when i’m at my low 
don’t have to say it, ik
all that u do, yeah it shows
that i’m not welcome here
that u don’t even care
act like i’m unaware
a sight i cannot bear
i tried my best, i swear
heart on my sleeve, i wear [s/o rod wave]
just left me in despair
u never were a friend

[chorus]

apathetic (avit + soma)

instrumental is Mux Mool - Get Better John

get better (mux mool)

i tried at least.

production: me
mixing & mastering: me & windfield @findwield

instagram: instagram.com/avit69
youtube: youtube.com/c/avit69
streaming platforms: fanlink.to/AViT69

lyrics:

these last few months in these thin walls
blood spilt w words, i’ve been through it all
n i grow tired day by day 
watching all my “friends” leave me 
wish they’d just stayed...
don’t know who i am anymore
i just don’t wanna b ignored
sick of it all…
cuz i’ve changed for y’all for far too long 
n all ur lies roll off ya tongue 
i’m done j being what u want 
it’s clear that i do not belong 

i could change the way i look
i could switch the way i talk 
but everything i do is not enough
cuz i’m still the same old me 
i just try again n again
so i can feel like i fit in
but everything i do is not enough
cuz i’m still the same old me
making the same mistakes
these problems, i create
ingrained inside my brain
falling back to my old ways
i’m tired, don’t wanna let myself go any further 
cuz everything i do is not enough
cuz i’m still the same old me

my memory’s faded and i’ve lost who i am
this piece i’ve painted, fragments of what was then 
let’s leave it in the past
let it decay to ash
let it just falter… away
feel like my whole life, i’ve been erased
always made me feel like i’m a waste
wishing i could never ever wake 
people switching up on me, it’s hard to say 
but i don’t really feel a thing but apathy
yeah every part of me is numb to pain 
everyday is just a cycle of my misery
and i hate it
cuz it’s always my fault and i’m always the cause of my fall

i could change the way i look
i could switch the way i talk 
but everything i do is not enough
cuz i’m still the same old me 
i just try again n again
so i can feel like i fit in
but everything i do is not enough
cuz i’m still the same old me
making the same mistakes
these problems, i create
ingrained inside my brain
falling back to my old ways
i’m tired, don’t wanna let myself go any further 
cuz everything i do is not enough
cuz i’m still the same old me

stream <3

same old me

I have no motivation
So I get nothing done
I hate the mornings so i 
Sleep in way past the sun    	 
I have like everything but
I still find nothing fun, 
I really like the smell of
The world when it burns

It keeps me warm
It keeps me warm
It keeps me warm

now its only a fraction   
Of times that we had
So i turn to distractions
Whenever im sad  
It turns into a cycle
I think im going psycho
Fraid of things that i might do
Might do

Lately i just hate everyone
I hope they all run away 
I hope they somehow just trip and fall
I hope they dig their own graves 

Im a mess
Im obsessed 
with distractions all day
And when i stop  
drown in thoughts
i just break down again
(2x)

Fuck that
Ima turn this shit around
Wrote that
In december i was down
Looking back that shit was kinda rough
But now im here its kinda funny got my money up

This year ,drop whatever I wana
All my songs are kinda sad but now im tryn be funner
Theres jus this
Big fear, 
I wont do any numbers
doesn't matter anyways im already goin down under 

I
I got a present 4 u
And im not sure if you’ll like it or not
But i assure u its straight from da heart
Ok u
U make write all these songs
But im j sad 1 percent  of the time
I jus dont make songs about 99

distractions

spotify

:/
i just be trying to do what i can do
deciding which one i want i cannot choose
i think its better for me to make a move
he think hes better then me but he gon lose
i stepped straight into the function
full suit on ye u know im up to somethin
moved ur hair out ur face now u blushin
i dont wanna talk theres no time for discussion

i swear that im jus nvr enough
tryna ask n they sayin that  im too hard to love
thats fine i jus do not even know who to trust
i let these feelins build up
lets hope this doesnt get rough

@hatesuffer
by now you must think that i’m crazy 
and that’s fine but ur always tryna blame me 
runnin back every time to forgive me
and every time, u say that ur sorry 
but tonight i’m gonna turn it up
pourin up cause i dont wanna feel at all 
and you’ve been showing me fake love 
show me something real cause i still wanna love yaaaaa

i dont give a fuckk what u thot this was
spent a lil baag omg ima fuck it up
he wearin the snap back 
he ain even like that 
get a lil strapp
ima turn u to a hashtag

nvr enough w/ suffer (silver)

(@prodnomu)

Got me thinkin i could fall for u
Ur jus a devil in a dress
That i keep talking too
I almost fucked it up
I almost fucked it up again but then i cut it off

Now i dont want nobody next to me
U only want me for attention wheres the rest of me
ye
ur feelin better off da ecstasy
And i can tell that u dont care its like ur testing me 

I’m getting tired of the same shit
Ive tried it different but its always hard to change it
And u dont even kno my name yet
 gime a chance and ima waste it all

chorus

waste

other platforms <3

so ovr it. p everest

I hate Fall (Peril)

(@prodnomu)
its been a while but heres something different :)

//
Fear, I live in fear 
That one day youll disappear

In front of me

Because of me
Loving u
Loving me

Forget how I said
Insecurity

Is a feeling of
Love with some jealousy

Jealousy
Jealousy

What are you so afraid of ?

because of me

(prod. @shinjinv + @prodnomu)
ty for an amazing 2019

//
Oo u wana be me
But i wish i could leave me
I dont wana be me
O u would not believe me

I dont wanna deal with all your bullshit today
I put on my headphones when i walk everywhere

Yea u only  use me
Tell me that im good enough 
For you and then abuse me
This is too confusing
You make me feel stupid
I just wanna stay at home and listen to my music

And when i said i love u
Said u love me 2
And if u never say it then ill always do
bBaby im a loner all i have is u
And if you leave me ima be a broken tool

(hook)

You shoot me down
Before I try
Next day walk in
act like its fine

I dont really talk too much
I prefer to keep it quiet
I feel like im not enough
I hate how im staying silent

I dont have the self control
Im j doing what im told
If u got a problem w me y dont u just let it go?

Try to tell me one more time
Ur just tryna waste my time
I can see your scared inside
I can see your tryna lie

All i do is make u mad
And everytime it makes me sad

(hook)

use me

use me [+shinjin]

art by 8485

prod @degenerate69

backing vocals by grandee

SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/track/5YlSM6ZWbzCfigJzZdcPNU?si=aEljvQ4nTZud-Au20w8h4Q