lyrics:

i'm mad that i want to jump as a reflex
and who am i to live my life with some meaning?
what's a friend, what's a hand to hold mean to you?

i hate that i want to jump out of my skin
all because of what i did
but i wouldn't say regret is the word i would use to describe it
just a hundredth

it's been years since i've felt quite this empty
a true master of stalling
fuck, what did your mental health and love mean to me?

and i pale before questions
do i still deserve friendship?
those who bite are put down, even if they're caged

regret

THIS IS THE LAST SONG ON THIS ACCOUNT, thank you for being here for so long <3
now go follow @alwaysalasttime on ig and sc, thats where i will be making music from now on

PRODUCTION VOCALS EVERYTHING: trisonline
help with coverart: my friend swag
starter piano midi: @hiisero
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣶⣄⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⣾⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣷⣦⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

(lyrics)
soon

no life left

just fighting it again don't mean that we've been through a thing
don't worry baby i'll get through this all under my wing
that face of yours i cant say no to a wedding ring
you threw me in the bin i could tell from what you sayyy what
jumping out the fence jumping at the gym
right out to the pen im still going in
i hate me so bad and i hate your friends
all for you to say the wrong thing

im out im out im out im out of here
go wild go wild go wild dont wanna be here
its on its on yea its on
i did all my power could i still cant forget you
but you know that im out 
im out im out im out of here
im gone im gone im gone im gone
youre still in my head i cant get you off my mind
i feel like im dying when im not here all the time

you’re talking about me again how does that make you feel?
yea you said you wouldn't bite but you ate up the whole meal
i hope that you kill yourself cause you cannot write for real
he thinks im playin with that boy
bitch im swerving in that gt-r like im ecco boy
you're just cloning on me way too hard i might pop you boy
wonder how i feel? yea its never good inside boy

(yeah, well you thought i was done?)
(know that i can't be the one)
ooh nah
how much just to leave

just fighting it again don't mean that we've been through a thing
don't worry baby i'll get through this all under my wing
that face of yours i cant say no to a wedding ring
you threw me in the bin i could tell from what you sayyy what
jumping out the fence jumping at the gym
right out to the pen im still going in
i hate me so bad and i hate your friends
all for you to say the wrong thing

im out im out im out im out of here
go wild go wild go wild dont wanna be here
its on its on yea its on
i did all my power could i still cant forget you
but you know that im out 
im out im out im out of here
im gone im gone im gone im gone
youre still in my head i cant get you off my mind
i feel like im dying when im not here all the time

How Much to Leave

demo (file will probably be replaced later on)

It's a turning point in my life
what can I say?
nothing I say sounds right
hold it in for one more night
what have i done?
i swear, i'll make it right

I look like a mess today I know
I hope you still love me
feel like I'm on the edge of letting go
it's starting to show
I look like a mess today I know
maybe I'll just shave it all off just to see how you'd react

i know what your expecting
but im giving you something else
when you tell me you love me
i wish i could say the same
cant think of the words
you want me to say
you ask how its been
i dont say a thing
i wish i could say something

I look like a mess today I know
I hope you still love me
shattering my brainstem
wandering away, hoping things are still okay
I look like a mess today I know
maybe I'll just burn the fucking house down
maybe I'll see you react
i swear, i'll make it right

Turning point

this is old and stupid but have it

-

did i fall into oblivion?
cause now that you're around, i'll write this to you
to let you know
that i wanna stay right here

song30

prod 

@1ginn

i know it’s what i needed
no it’s all i fucking had
i tried to get it back
tried to get it all back
i’ll tell you all about it
when we meet in rehab
started on your painting
and it ended up black
i tried to paint a picture
of the visions i had
it didn’t touch back
bitch it didn’t touch back
pink glitter dresses
i’m feeling fine
you think you’re destined
you’re not inclined to it
i’ve worn the same shirt
days in a row
stuck in panic
let it go

turn it up turn it up turn it up
i want to see you turn it up
turn it up turn it up turn it up
i want to see you turn it up
turn it up turn it up
turn it up never turn it down
turn it up never turn it down
turn it up never turn it-

made in the field so i
walk around gently
you were hunson abadeer
and i was your medley
i tapped your shoulder
like 48 times
there’s a plausible reality
you don’t have eyes
i’m dumb fucking done
with that trying
shove that shit in
and compile it
i got a fan in myself
i dont need anyone else okay

pink glitter dresses

Prod @zeromandia30414

cold 
all the way to the bone im bold
take a shot
they said i wont
froze
all the way to the bone im bold
holier

being in a bape tee
makes me 
so much less nervous 
gotta step back 8 feet
all these- undeserving
spent like 38 weeks
unaware im her servant
kick, screaming that you hate me
girl, are you sure of it
are you sure
are you sure of it
girllllll

are you sure of it x4

walked in
white iris blooming
ill throw it all away
all away for you

cold 
all the way to the bone im bold
take a shot
they said i wont
froze
all the way to the bone im bold
holier


circle square triangle

KEHLANI x BREAK FROM TORONTO [2013] ReWork

prod me

comin down from the high where tf are yall at
i took 2 tabs then js realized i lost my packs
"whats with this fag?"
this the shit they say behind my back
everything i do
i cant stop feeling fucking attacked
thought i'd throw away my meds cuz im pissed off ya
they aint doing nun for me i'll get my shit rocked ya
i wasnt tryna break his heart ya
she said its ok but ik its not ya

@aisle-4 w/ my bros in the moshpit
barely got an ego wasnt even tryna mog him
too much war up in my feeds this shit making me nauseous
say that u dont fw facsists but u drinking out their faucet
said it once i'll say it again ur fucking toxic
hypocrite u gonna talk u gotta walk it
he sucking on that shi until im screaming stop ittt
if u tryna make a project i take walk-ins

shout out to my bros who lost it all
idk how we're still holding up
they call me a terrorist im like bro nuh uh
ion fw tariffs need my ariZona
gaf if i sound like somebody else i HATE my voice
either train that shit or kms feeln like a fucking void
yuh
is this the shit that brings you joy
y do u want somebody's mind destroyed

comin down from the high where tf are yall at
i took 2 tabs then js realized i lost my packs
"whats with this fag?"
this the shit they say behind my back
everything i do
i cant stop feeling fucking attacked
thought i'd throw away my meds cuz im pissed off ya
they aint doing nun for me i'll get my shit rocked ya
i wasnt tryna break his heart ya
she said its ok but ik its not ya

if we swapped brains

Drag Me Through

prod @1ginn

i don’t want to lose my mind
gone through this a thousand times
i will think about this till i’m sick & high
waste my time picking at the elbow
i would waste your life if i couldn’t my own
digging up my grave
i know that shits a cycle
i ball like miley cyrus
you better pick an idol.
god damn (said repeatedly)
i swear to god he was looking at me sideways
i had get it to the bank
had to cash it out
and i’m looking like a bitch now
we’re all stuck in a figure eight
i tried to turn it off
you never get involved with it
i’m looking through the front door
probably hoping for a talk with you
weird times weird times
i feel dumb for trying
i’m burnt out on lying
and that’s the fucking truth
i don’t want to lose my mind
gone through this a thousand times
i will think about this till i’m sick & high
waste my time picking at the elbow
i would waste your life if i couldn’t my own
digging up my grave
i know that shits a cycle
i ball like miley cyrus
you better pick an idol.
god damn (said repeatedly)
it’s always when you’re not here
this shit always at the wrong time
motherfuckers want to feed on you
better watch it before i combine
i locked the door it’s closed behind
grab the crowbar pry inside
oh smoke all alone
by myself in the corner
then im driving back home

miley cyrus

19 y/o producer and artist
https://soundcloud.com/pokerfacemafia

regret

willandra