produced by branwen

completely non profit

lyrics

turn it up turn it up for another night
getting drunk on a sunday till the morning light
waking up in a monday in a strangers bed
i think i finished all my drinks theyre in my fuckin head

holy shit here i go again
i been off my meds for a while
n im a god again
i dont really know who i am
n im alright with it
at least im being honest
if it hurts then u dont feel regret

ur head will hurt in the morning
u dont give a fuck
shes kinda cute might as well go n try ur luck
she thought that i was 25 holy wtf
so this wont go past tonight idgaf

19 i make connections when in drunk until i break them when im sober
in my heart im older
i bleed from underneath the scotch tape thats holding me together
its forever

why waste my time writing all these fucking metaphors
im still in love with the person that i met before
gave her my heart n she threw it on the fucking floor
i find it hard just to trust cus in the end
fucked my best friend
said she wishing i was dead
u live in my head
both u n him
and its such a mess 
that u have left
that u have left
that u have left

(hero)

i find it funny how we repeat such a cycle here again
shits so toxic its obnoxious she refuse to leave my head
and im okay with that, as okay with being sliced in half
"i got a thing for artists" oh i want ur take on that
chugging octane to experience a numbness when she on me
stop me, id like to see u try oh u could never
sulfate to really rub the cut into my skin
with scotch tape to wrap the fatal wound once again

scotchtape & sulfates ft. hero (branwen)

thanks for the support

twitter.com/1homesickk
www.instagram.com/1homesickk/

prod/guitars by me

endgame
i had a time n place to fall back into the fog
replay, id go back today
wish i never called it off
know im not one to just push it aside
i feel my lowest just steppin outside
brushin the dust off my lungs just to breathe alright
now i gotta take shit just to sleep at night

dim lights on my conscious
i crossed out my past mistakes cuz i just dont wanna process
im aware of all that time takes
i wont keep u guessin ima stay the same

surface tension i been making dents on top of water
im built from components held by PCB and solder
death watcher, keep it close to me
like i could just close the page but i dont bother
hold my head down underwater
to the slaughter
feel my soul levatate out of this shell when i step out
i really feel the distance now
it feels so wrong to stick around
coat on, i dont want a send off
threats artificial i fend off
dig straight down like a check off
bite my tongue, just wanted to just say it i held off

dim lights on my conscious
i crossed out my past mistakes cuz i just dont wanna process
im aware of all that time takes
i wont keep u guessin ima stay the same

replay i standup n pace, its all back to this
i cant concentrate, just hesitate
i pick up the pieces like whats to take
and like whats to say
i keep my mouth shut like what can be done
all a fuckin waste
i dont want a friend cause i have to face
that ive failed the people that stuck to me

dust

@taylor

twitter.com/1homesickk
www.instagram.com/1homesickk/

board it up keep it fortified
i been tryna get my money right
lames talkin bout me i aint hold it tight
social suicide, dont have to hide
worth the price
red vein 5am
mitragyna make me doze off
tapped at 5am
led in my gut, windows frostin
deep in the cut candle droppin
prints in the snow see me walkin
cold i been froze up
reap no reward like whats the hold up
ghost in the door when i pull up
can i convince
jus let me go just let me
double tap chug on my back
leather seats all black
223 n thats a wrap`
dark net grab a pack
soon as i let go it pull me back
take a hint its not that
snow fall down turn to soot
bring me bad news
i live on an empty street cause i have to
bridge my life to the clouds if i had to
make sure its not me that you're attached to
candle wax dried on the desk like some past dues
pushed me out the nest into destitute

red vein 5am
mitragyna make me doze off
tapped at 5am
led in my gut, windows frostin
deep in the cut candle droppin
prints in the snow see me walkin

soot (taylor morgan)

twitter.com/1homesickk
www.instagram.com/1homesickk/

prod by jolst:

@jolst
twitter.com/prodjolst
www.instagram.com/prodjolst/

pitch black like it's nightfall
i guess i'm the type to keep it vague and keep the lights off
rinsed that, now it's all cold
brace now, it's over
i gotta go
if i make it out it's on my own
i planted myself here by my own hand
try to face it all before the snow lands
i don't keep in touch i guess you know that
and daylight never meets me guess i know that
i got all these habits
can't control that
step into the night i got my own back
always like that
it almost feels like someone's here
could you empathize though i'm not near
show face, i don't want to
dont need to explain what i've been through
just go patch it up
swear i tried, turned to dust
i can't mess it up if i never show some love
i give doubt, not trust
sit inside this house and i rust

vague (jolst)

sample by @shaedelea
https://soundcloud.com/shaedelea/leaves-of-our-time

think about it always
couldn't get me through the next day
trash bags full of paper plates
only see me on some holidays
now i'm here but it feels fake
don't want it now i guess i lost the taste
i cant feel resentment for the things that you still don't say
always tell myself that you can't grieve if you don't know me
feels like showin love is so phony
i dont have a friend, a single soul with me
see em always whine bout feelin lonely
ur friends are blowing up ur fuckin phone but you just don't read
u just want some woe is me
how do i invest into my life if i wanna cut it short
couldn't hold that over your head but it's still getting worse
whats to even say on that day, i
don't think that you'd fess that i'm a stranger
i just say it's complicated hiding under layers
thought i got it figured out cause it made sense to me on paper
im a soothsayer, light another taper
still forewarned bout my bones in a crater
ive been here this whole time
don't care to make em notice nah i dont try
i just do this shit n i dont know why
keep myself as visible here as i am in real life
i hold on to shame i keep it close and i don't know why

stranger

prod wisssery feat sendflowrs mastered by jolst <3

Intro:
First time
Alone in my mind
I was quite happy
But I knew you weren’t right

Hex on me baby
Hex on me
Hex on me
Baby put it on me

You were stood there
You were fuming
You were pissed off
You're accusing

That my mind didn’t have you inside
Baby so greedy that she put at hex on me

Hook:

Yuh
This is your downfall
Greed is your downfall
Ill burn in flames
Just to feel something
Your witchcraft is powerful
Put a hex on me x2

sendflowrs verse:

hex on me
“rest on me :)”
when you talk like that you put the stress on me
you protect your peace
so selfishly
and when you talk like that you crash my self esteem

like omg !!!
shut the fuck up are you serious
what makes you even think that i care
i mean i know i was crying
and halfway delirious
high at the top of the stairs
and yeah you’re right i was kicking
and screaming and begging you please let me play with your hair
and now guess what yea i’m drunk and i’m steaming i got a few issues i need to repair, i know

Hook:

Yuh
This is your downfall
Greed is your downfall
Ill burn in flames
Just to feel something
Your witchcraft is powerful
Put a hex on me x2

Outro:

You were stood there
You were fuming
You were pissed off
You're accusing

That my mind didn’t have you inside
Baby so greedy that she put at hex on me

hex on me w/ sendflowrs [wisssery]

Lyrics: 

Kissing you girl
Tastes like copper on my lips
I wanna scratch you out my life
But I cant find an itch
You play me like a game
You just need a new expansion
You're weeping like an angel
You're begging for attention

I hate you deep down
Because your hidden in my thoughts like a secret
And I cant be proud
Because I know deep down you’ll reveal it
I cant help myself
When you ask me to dance
You're offer your hand
I'm of in a trance
The words that you speak
Feel like acid on my teeth
They’re bleeding from the root
Guess there's no life in the leaf

Kissing you girl
Tastes like copper on my lips
I wanna scratch you out my life
But I cant find an itch
You play me like a game
You just need a new expansion
You're weeping like an angel
You're begging for attention

A deep struggle
A light smile
Keeps the family happy for a while
I know you know
That I need you
My heart needs filling up its so see through
You might me right
That I'm helpless
Without you
I feel selfish
Is it me
Or am I coerced by looks
Cause you look so pretty tonight

Kissing you girl
Tastes like copper on my lips
I wanna scratch you out my life
But I cant find an itch
You play me like a game
You just need a new expansion
You're weeping like an angel
You're begging for attention

SPOTIFY

Copper (Taylor Morgan, Jolst)

all my days are getting darker
and i can't breathe 
i don't amount to nothing 
it's easy to see
all i feel is numbing pain
and anxiety
my heart is just like a drain 
engulfs my fucking feels

dreaming of the top 10 
living in bottom 1 
don't kno if i'll make it
but i gotta trust myself first 
trynna realign with my mind so i convert
what goes on inside all the time into a verse

trynna speak my mind out im
trynna scream my heart out loud 
i could never talk about it
that's why it's such a big problem now 
dealing with it all like i ain't don't have any issues
sipping alc everyday but i say imma stop soon 
can't help myself to stop always feeling so blue 
i wish i felt like all the other colors of the rainbow

all my days are getting darker
and i can't breathe 
i don't amount to nothing 
it's easy to see
all i feel is numbing pain
and anxiety
my heart is just like a drain 
engulfs my fucking feels (2x)

engulfs (smokerose)

and you never know
if the sun goes cold
when the truth unfolds
i'll be there to hold 
you even if ur wrong
i'm staying strong 
but you never know
you never know 
what's coming
next for you

always itching
waiting for 
ur text to come thru

i cannot believe
that there's no pain
in this world

set back 
relax
i can't 

too much
inside
again

gotta
leave
my skin

cuts
relieve
the achin

i thought 
i had a future
but

and you never know
if the sun goes cold
when the truth unfolds
i'll be there to hold 
you even if ur wrong
i'm staying strong 
but you never know
you never know 
what's coming
next for you

and you never know
if the sun goes cold
when the truth unfolds
i'll be there to hold 
you even if ur wrong
i'm staying strong 
but you never know
you never know 
what's coming
next for you

but u never kno (lostcage)

guitar by @jolst
drums by me
mix by me & @lottaheart

lyrics

you gave me confidence
i gave you nothing more than a silent ominous
poisoned flowers
i could stare at you for hours
i'll drop you off your door
my desire never sours
autumn leaves blowing under our hands
as we rest on the grass
looking at the pumpkin patch (ly @onlyfriendyeah)
and i hope that we will last
your the best ive ever had
your the best ive ever had

if im comfy in my coat
you should wear it then
i'll give you anything
i'll give you anything

theres something bout your eyes
i cant help but stare at them
i'll give you anything
i'll give you anything

i promise
it'll be worth it
you deserve it
can you wait for me?

i promise
i'll make it perfect
you deserve it
just hold on tight for me

you gave me confidence
i gave you nothing more than a silent ominous
poisoned flowers
i could stare at you for hours
i'll drop you off your door
my desire never sours
autumn leaves blowing under our hands
as we rest on the grass
looking at the pumpkin patch
and i hope that we will last
your the best ive ever had
your the best ive ever had

every time i see you smile
every time i see you laugh
makes me realise im so lucky
your the best ive ever had
can't believe you want me too?
wtf
did i do?
i did not 
deserve you
your so perfect
bulletproof
bulletproof
every word, every move, every mood
your untouched by the pain that left me bruised
that left me bruised
what would i do
without you?

you gave me confidence
i gave you nothing more than a silent ominous
poisoned flowers
i could stare at you for hours
i'll drop you off your door
my desire never sours
autumn leaves blowing under our hands
as we rest on the grass
looking at the pumpkin patch
and i hope that we will last
your the best ive ever had
your the best ive ever had

pumpkin patch [prod jolst x me]

witch's tale.

i've been given
so many chances
at life, so why 
am i wasting it?

i didn't mean 
to take it for granted
i had a lot going on 
my mental was fucked
and my education went to hell
i was skipping class
i was taking drugs
i didnt care no more 
i let myself go

i can't believe 
i let myself go
but i burnt the past 
and from the ashes
i bloomed
yeah i bloomed


i burnt the past 
but from the ashes
i bloomed
i've been changing everything
sometimes i look into the mirror
and i don't recognize myself

and this person i've become
i burnt the past 
but from the ashes
i bloomed 

but from the ashes
I bloomed.

from the ashes (carmspace x Nihil)

feel free to hmu to collab or talk :)
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21 y/o (444)
11/3/24 🫶🏼❤️
★・・・・・・★
Goth
Music Nerd <3
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