leaving it up to you_

3 of 10

cowritten by & featuring @soupandreas
additional production by @bbbbfc
mastered by Ryan Schwabe
art by atlas ezra

~~lyrics~~

(sd)
and i promise you this
i won’t be worth nothing to ya when i stop making hits
my character’s nobody if she stops talking shit
when i can’t record the verses that i don’t believe in
whatever, shut up, go fuck yourself
i gotta get me out my head
whoever she was i wish her well
before you snap her neck
i bet half of you’d curse me to hell
if i just think about it
freak out daily, don’t stop to breathe
i can’t say no, afraid you’ll leave
in the right city at the wrong time
making all the right moves with the wrong guys
seeing all the right things with the wrong eyes
living in the right ways with the wrong life
(at least that’s what i think it’s like)

i guess this is how i find out
can i keep it up or do i wind down
laughing, oh my god she’s such a sellout
hold her head under the water, you should be proud
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout

(soupandreas)
saying all the right things at the wrong times
doing all the right scenes with the wrong lines
feeling like an extra in my own life
can you see that i'm afraid of that
or do you feel the same on the inside
i can't breathe anymore
making my way to the door
spilled my guts on your floor
don't know what i did it for
i tried to sell you a lie
you ripped away the disguise
wish i could run back the time
and make it all alright

(sd)
i guess this is how i find out
can i keep it up or do i wind down
laughing, oh my god she’s such a sellout
hold her head under the water, you should be proud
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout

star★☆

sellout

sellout w/ soupandreas (sd + bbbbfc)

>>>\\\LYRICS BELOW

goodbye, Trophy! (45-53)

the final trophy song

____

made in 24 hours for @artbyform 's All Nighter Vol. 7

In this song, clearlew's vocal performance embodies my two-year debate of being transgender. It's Canal Pride in Amsterdam as we're making this, and I'm sitting home writing a song with my best friend about being beautiful in my own way. However, given as to how clearlew sings my story and he doesn't represent the lyrics personally, we decided to write a song that can also be interpreted as a love song, about a girl named >>>"lola" - the name I would have given myself, if I would have decided to become a woman.

____

follow >>>clearlew
https://soundcloud.com/clearlew
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1G7GO69qXe0bNbenX5GQjb
https://www.instagram.com/clearlew_/
https://twitter.com/clearlew_?lang=en

____

Lyrics

I've gotta think twice
Because lola she's so beautiful
And I
I know it's gotta come from inside (yeah)
Girl this is ineffable
Girl I'm so irrational

I've gotta think twice,
Because lola she's so beautiful
And I
I know it's gotta come from inside (yeah)
Girl this is ineffable
Girl I'm so irrational

White heels, white skirt
I know I've never met her
But I can tell you that I know her more than anyone (oh yeah)
I'm such a perfectionist
But I dont know what perfection is
I'll tell you who I am
But girl I don't know who I am

Do you know how to do it like her?
Materialism, I think I'm falling for it all over again

I can't open my eyes
to see your face because I 
Just can't take another lie
(Give it time)

You always hide behind your actions like you know what's right
I'll keep hiding behind my eyes, 'till the time is right
You always hide behind your actions like you know what's right
I'll keep hiding behind my eyes, 'till the time is right

White heels, white skirt
I know I've never met her
but I can tell you that I know her more than anyone (oh yeah)
I'm such a perfectionist
But I dont know what perfection is
I'll tell you who I am
But girl I don't know who I am

Do you know how to do it like her?
Materialism, I think I'm falling for it all over again

I can't open my eyes
To see your face because I
Just can't take another lie
(Give it time)

You always hide behind your actions like you know what's right
I'll keep hiding behind my eyes 'till the time is right

I've gotta think twice
I've gotta think twice
(Yeah!)

____

goodbye, Trophy! (45-53)

clearlew + TROPHYTROPHY - lola (51)

Sharing the lil things i make online has admittedly been a really scary thing for me, but i hope to keep trying.

Hope you are well <3

coil

Log 11; 
beings of moss are appearing around me.. .

Things of Bone and Stem

please support @moqu thank u

watch the music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqmm78o0AfI

Blissed out in the clouds
I don't wanna come down
Death's Dynamic Shroud
Shatter when I hit the ground
It cant always work out
So far nothing's worked out
Nothing about me
I can feel good about
Star dust, I can tell that's what you're made of
Looking for a pay off, get ready for take off
Seemed so good but I think I need to lay off
Read into it too far, thought it was game on

I don't wanna break down when I hear your name
Please don't beat yourself up, I'm the one to blame
I just hope soon enough it'll feel the same
(The same, the same, the same, the same)
I don't wanna break down when I hear your name
Please don't beat yourself up, I'm the one to blame
I just hope soon enough it'll feel the same

When you spend all you energy inside a fantasy
Its not reality, how about you kick my teeth in
Cannot get over how embarrassing
I cringe when I see you see me
Blissed out in the clouds
I don't wanna come down
Death's Dynamic Shroud
Shatter when I hit the ground
It cant always work out
So far nothing's worked out
Nothing about me
I can feel

I don't wanna break down when I hear your name
Please don't beat yourself up, I'm the one to blame
I just hope soon enough it'll feel the same

stream

stardust (prod moqu)

another old song
started in september 2021, finished in october 2022
https://twitter.com/canofblissmusic

Inner dialogue
Down on me all the time, but I don't cry a lot
I get my best ideas when I'm gone
Then I try to remember what the fuck is going on
In my head
It takes me all damn night to wanna go to bed
I keep thinking of everything I could've said
Why did I have to come off like I never meant?

And I try so hard
And nothing's coming out right
And I try so hard

And then I feel defeated
Energy depleted
And I'm bringing myself back down
And then I feel defeated
Nothing got completed
It's time to waste time now

I keep burning out
Not always fully there, I'm drifting in and out
Do people even get the things I talk about?
I don't think so
Maybe my vibe is too bizarre
It's too much effort breaking me out with a crowbar
Maybe the answers to my problems are on Co-Star
I tell myself that I'm not wanted where my friends are
I tell myself that I'm not wanted at all

And I try so hard
And nothing's coming out right
And I try so hard

It's not that I don't wanna talk about it
I don't know how to fucking use my mouth
Then I forget what I was talking about

And then I feel defeated
Energy depleted
And I'm bringing myself back down
And then I feel defeated
I feel defeated
I feel defeated

And I try so hard
And nothing's coming out right
And I try so hard

bandcamp

defeated

god toucher ++++

i used to drive fast

I'm back again. I played some sets and hid in the woods. My arm is better. I dont know what else to say. I think to exist without saying is great but none of you follow me for that. Someday we can all exist in a palace of gold together silently. I want that day more and more every second. I am so sick of being here. I've been here for hundreds of years. They've figured out how to kill me but they just cant catch me. I'll never kill myself again so they better get faster.

pistons

2/3

i thought you said id want that
i bet i didnt wanna speak
i guess i didnt like that
nails past my shoulder digging deep
you pull up now
twisting round the wound you carved in me
you said something
you said something to me 
you said something
whispered to me    

blood on your fur coat, leaking from the wound that you gave me
hearing all your words for nobody
vision blurring i dont feel pain, id fall asleep in your arms again
to your lullaby of hurting

claws

e x c u s e   m e   h o w   d i d   y o u   g e t   t h i s   n u m b e r ?

waterfowl

The first single of my new album, find this on my Spotify very soon! 
https://open.spotify.com/artist/2asEJdAoSfgVrCEnsdy11M?si=8N4B7pxaRh2R6ndMAi1GhA

Terrified

spilling the backlog of old wdlnds tracks and remixes here :)

pistons

wdlnds archive

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