1M4G

from ellie

prod. iof 

(lyrics)
i cut my hair and i douse my eyes 
of any lasting signs of light
i burn my ribs and oxidize
i keep to myself reasons why
why is it always me?

isolation, my tempers so different
for any swell reason i guess i never listened
and this is the habit of being your best girl
this havoc's inherent, i watch as you let go

the wreckage in the corner of my eye
don't reappear to my demise
i should have listened on that night
oh, how i'd hate to spend my life
oh, how i'd hate to be his wife

for now i'm sitting at your tapestry
i stare at all the angels and their faces
what god has made me so complacent?
i fall behind, i fall so vacant
i pray for cheeks so thin and aching
hah, thats when i'm worth more than the same shit

why?
cut yourself the life you thought you knew 
yes, i love you, it's just no use
that funny truth slips somehow loose
lie
cut yourself the crime for one last truce
i follow through, bruise black and blue
that funny truth crawls back to you

i cut my hair and i douse my eyes 
of any lasting signs of light
i burn my ribs and oxidize
i keep to myself reasons 
why

feelrealagain

everything by me, thanks for listening x
special thanks to @yehon

yes i reuploaded it unpitched <3

(lyrics)
i cut a line for a spot down by the creek 
i signed a waiver, broke a deal 
but now i’m working by the beach 
& i never learned just how to swim, didnt read the fine print
but i'm teaching myself how to stay afloat on my own
on my own

and ever since i took off it's been such a scandal,
you're saying i'm “just a woman," and i don't know what to handle
sat laughing with your teeth in my neck 
and you broke all the bones in my spine as i slept
babe, it takes one to know one, as you're slamming the door shut
at the back of the tour bus, you're packing your bags up
so i watch you, cause you think that i'm bad luck
spoiling your plans, for walking out for another man

starved to death and late on rent
woke up face down tied by the limbs
bending over your bathroom sink, you caught me swimming through amphetamines
you don't know how much this means to me
holding my hair while i'm on my knees,
retching the rest of my guts like it feels so free
i broke down sobbing on the tile floor, when i finished you were out the door

feet in the sand, head in your hands 
terminal two to take off or land
drive you out next to john wayne, you'll fly out now, on the next plane
picking fights with a force that you can't blame,
no you can't blame, no you can't blame, no you can't blame

woke up from the rubble of a crushed-up semi truck 
crawling out from the wheel and i couldn’t help but think, like, fuck
has it been six weeks? was it just six months?
being touched in the wrong way, and you’re no fun on a bad day, 
with your hands on my waist, it's a sad thing
slamming hard on the brakes in the fast lane, in the fast lane

caught over the county line, you know what to take if it was mine
it's all your proper possession, you'll always get what you mention
so when i'm coming on back, be the first at my pension
chasing god on the wrong train, guess i'm no fun on a bad day
carving scars in a girl that you can't change, 
but i know, babe it takes one to know one, to know one

it takes one to know one

i dont see many faces
not the ones in my head
dont think its hard to erase myself
i cant bear to just look away
but when the time rolls around
think i can let them down one time
ill tell them its complicated
before i reach for my breath
we'll be glad that we made it
another second ill spend dead
n its not new to cover my face
i still hear the birds sing it just hasnt been my day
but when the time rolls around
i cant bear to just look away

rec. nov. 2 "[anthill] [off my breath]"

Anabel White

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