im fucking up the metrics cause I see it's almost over and restart it lol

this song is so fucking amazing, for sure what ill be bumpin everyday in 2023

is this on apple music yet? i stopped using soundcloud but i need this on my playlist

wasted on you (ft. 93FEETOFSMOKE and KING CHRISTIAN)

an album about how i've been feeling lately

bandcamp (physical CDs available here too): bit.ly/2qBSeCp 


credits:
@jvbeats666
@yung-hy
@ihateshinigami
@nothingnowheremusic
@prodmikefrost
@ericnorth
@xchrisvayle
@machinesix

download & physicals

shy - red cap (prod. jay vee + nothing,nowhere. + mike frost)

tothegood - "out of mind"
released on 27.05.2017
@lilxlotus @youngburial
free download: bit.ly/2qt1NyR
bandcamp: bit.ly/2qZktJW
spoti.fi/2Bpo07A
apple.co/2Ab3U3e

lyrics:

LIL LOTUS 

I was 17 i lost you in silence
Tried to hide all my pain with violence
Traded all of my scars for tattoos 
Now everything i do just reminds me of you

I dont want you to see this
Maybe i miss you too much
I scream in my sleep
Do you hear me 
Or am i not screaming enough
Id give anything just to hear your heart beat and bring you back to life  
You have a grandson
He look just like you
I tell him all the time

I was 17 i lost you in silence
Tried to hide all my pain with violence
Traded all of my scars for tattoos 
Now everything i do just reminds me of you

fats'e

I know your just testing me 
I miss the way you would sit right next to me
And make up stories 
To pass the time 

I guess this is how it's supposed to be
Blood shot eyes keep me company
I want out
Of my head sometimes. 

This is how it's supposed to be.

out of mind

spotify

in silence (feat. LIL LOTUS & fats'e)

Go follow my man <3
https://soundcloud.com/fuckhamz

Hammy:
I just wanna know
do you still think of me?
when you're all alone
i hope you still remember me
i don't wanna go
my heart is on your driveway
sitting all alone
they never care what i say x2

never care what i say
driving on the highway
driving on the freeway
you can have it your way
i don't really care girl
look at me and stare girl
i just wanna die now
smokin till i die now
diving on the highway
driving on the freeway
i just wanna see you
hope you want me too
i can't ever think straight
tell em that i feel great
even though i'm lyin
always fucking lying
remember what we had
now i can't stop crying
i just popped an oxy
now i think i'm flying
i just hit the ground
now i'm really dying

Yung Van:
I still have your number in my phone
Sometimes I drive by your home
I think of all the good times
I think we had some good times
I miss waking up to texts
I hate calling you my ex
I should have known this would happen
I should have known this would happen 

I've been driving all night
I'm just tryna feel right
When I think of you though
I don't want to die alone
Thinking bout you all the time
Wish that you weren't getting high
I don't think I'm feeling fine x2
Ive been driving all day
I'm just tryna feel okay
I know I can't run away
Girl you meant the world to me
Think of what we used to be
Wish it was just you and me
Guess we just weren't meant to be
I thought we were meant to be
I just wanna die now
I just wanna cry
I thought you were mine babe
I thought we were fine
Called you every night girl
Cause I thought you cared
Called you every night girl
I was always there
I wish I could walk away from all this pain
I feel like I was cut
I thought you were the one

Wish i was enough x4

FOLLOW HAMMY

i'm not depressed, i just miss you w/Hammy (Prod. Tec)

Emo bullshit


idc if you don't like this song I made this one for myself

Lyrics:

Today I can't wait to die nothing for me in this life
No matter how hard I try I can't do anything right
I'm all out of time, It's too late to try
So baby kill me slowly however you like
However you like

Is this a dream? Got my hand on the handle 
Perks in my bloodstream I just took a handful
Don't remember how I got here
It doesn't matter how I got here
All I can see is the gun on the table 
Fall on my face call your phone while I'm able
Don't remember how I got here
Doesn't matter how I got here
Flashbacks to days that I thought were repressed
I fucked up again yeah it's what I do best
Just trying to fill up this hole in my chest but she don't understand what I mean by depressed and
I'd tell you I hated you if it were true
I'd tell you i loved you if you loved me too but
I'm on the edge now I know it's too late
I already know I was just a mistake

I can't wait to die nothing for me in this life
No matter how hard I try I can't do anything right
I'm all out of time, It's too late to try
So baby kill me slowly however you like
However you like

I don't know who to put this in words, the way this burns
Silver lining is that I'm blessed with a curse
With this anger that I know I deserve, or am I swerving on the people that I love cause I'm 17 and already missed my turn?
And I didn't learn a thing from this
Except what it's like to be buzzing with a trigger finger dying to scratch an itch
And I feel like such a bitch, now my girl is pissed because I'm back on the pharms
Singing love from her lips, and writing hate on her arms
So I say fuck it I'm done, And I try to get away
But I don't get very far, And there's nowhere to stay
Now I'm writing these bars, Cause I've got so much to say
So my worlds will live on, Even When I fade away

 I can't wait to die nothing for me in this life
No matter how hard I try I can't do anything right
It's all in my head, I think I'm better off dead
So can you please tell me why?

Oct. 17th 2014

https://open.spotify.com/artist/6NFHn7VH6jgV2nVWqW2bsa?si=4GL1fS_8Q7iRYjWf_FlXBw

https://soundcloud.com/skahbeatstore & https://soundcloud.com/cxldblxxd

lyrics:

I feel like I've got a gun to my head 
there ain't no blanks, a blank stare instead

couldn't care for myself have you been there 
doing harm to my health ima leave here
what I'd do for a day with my head clear
ima sin but bby know I'm sincere

ion sell so don't hit my cell no more 
blackout nights ima hit that floor
sip no sprite I like morphine more 
might take me away but I'm still yours 

it takes me away 
away from a place
been stuck on my head 
I can't look at her face.. 

fall asleep while she plays her piano
disappear still here like a shadow
sometimes I could drown in the shallows
she a bae she a marilyn monroe

all the same ima go where the wind blows
norflex & cigarettes got a sore throat
had to put it to the test now you know
no reply to the text on sleep mode

fall asleep while she plays her piano
disappear still here like a shadow
sometimes I could drown in the shallows
she a bae she a marilyn monroe

couldn't care for myself have you been there 
doing harm to my health ima leave here
what I'd do for a day with my head clear
ima sin but bby know I'm sincere

ion sell so don't hit my cell no more 
blackout nights ima hit that floor
sip no sprite I like morphine more 
might take me away but I'm still yours

still yours (prod. yung skah & cxld blxxd)

Guitar/Prod; https://soundcloud.com/93feetofsmoke <3

Lyrics:

GrxyIce:
Is it too much 
to want this to fade 
can't i, jus relieve the pain 

distanced myself
fucked up my health
nothing really helps
nothing really helps

GrxyIce & 93:
wear myself thin
bones are snapping again 
an is it too much 

93:
nothing i take 
helps the ache 
numbs my pain 
nothing i do 
lifts the hate 
from my face

giving up on sleep 
i don't wanna breathe 
hide that i'm a fiend
just give up on me 
i'm a waste you'll see 
save your energy

GrxyIce & 93:
wear myself thin 
bones are snapping again
and is it too much 
and is it too much

Is It Too Much w/ 93FEETOFSMOKE (Prod. 93)

prod and mix/mastered by me

I feel like a ghost bitch I’m transparent 
Smoking thrax up in the hills in the clouds bitch I vanish 
All these fucking thoughts I can’t manage
All these fucking thought up in my brain it needs a bandage 
I'm at a disadvantage 
Tryin not to panic
Not the best at planning
Some days barely standing 
The door inside my mind is locked shut
So what big deal big bags shits real
The door inside my mind is locked shut
So what the key to the door is the drugs as of late
I’ve been staying up late not answering the phone making music smoking strong pop another to keep calm 
They just mad at me 
Oh trust I know 
I’ll just smile as I blow another o like

Driving down the road at night
Confessions to the star light 
I want a bag and bag and another bag
Yeah I know it’s sad know you’re mad yeah I know it’s bad 
Yeah I want a bag and Benz and another bag and another bag
I’m just wrapped up in my old ways 
Same songs blowing haze in a daze I hope it stays like this 
Can’t hurt like hurt like this
Just numb like this 
Took 2 more percs just to stay like this

i feel like a ghost (prod. kryptik)

I DIDNT MAKE THIS SONG ALL RIGHTS TO KILLEDMYSELF AND FAMILYPET <3

Killedmyself - Take Your Time, I Don't Mind (ft. Familypet)

produced, mixed/master by me
live drums by jordan davis
https://twitter.com/jordancd3_
https://www.instagram.com/jordandavis_98/?hl=en
cover art by ciel
https://cielxxx.com/


its a cold world we live in
had to learn about self forgiveness
im sold out on believin
so ill make what i can with these broken pieces

ive got all the time in the world
to figure it out
the root of my sorrow
the pain and the doubt

you cant live with that
i cant live without
u throwin it back 
while im turnin u out

i got a one track mind
and a wish to die
no tears to cry
when im left behind

dont know about tomorrow but i know bout today
you got me real fucked up but you know what ill say

leaves fall and im fallin apart
had to pick back up
think i gotta restart

yeah
this life is a race and we’re runnin in circles
im takin the leap over hurdles
that ive laid out myself all eternal

i send peace to my life and my loved ones
never got it off a trust fund
been about it since my day 1
imma leave my body when the night comes

leaves fall
and ive fallen apart
have to pick back up
think i gotta restart

if life has no meaning
why the fuck do i care?
yeah these people
these places
thats a reason to live

and these demons im facin
have a place in my life

but the road thats ahead
never comes to end
think that i lost it again

leaves fall and im fallin apart
had to pick back up
think i gotta restart

death calls
but im not by the phone
if you had one chance
would u take it and go?

restart

yesterday

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