When I was nine, my dad died, and I guess that kind of messed me up. I don't have a lot of memories of him, and certainly not ones where he was healthy and himself. When we'd drive to visit his family in West Virginia, he liked to drive through the night. My brothers and I would fall asleep, but he'd drive my mom crazy and tell her to pinch him so that he could stay awake. He'd wake us up as we crossed the bridge from Kentucky into West Virginia, though. There's a factory where a fire burns, and it looked magical to a child. I worked in West Virginia for a summer, trying to know more of him and reconnect with his family. It was a bizarre experience that brought up a lot of emotions and memories I'd hidden away. I wrote this song about that. I have a hard time singing it without crying.

Lyrics:
I remember this road
You'd wake us up to see the factory lights
Burning bright
Our fire in the sky
The Tug River's working my heartstrings
Pulling silenced memories
And maybe it's mystery
But, maybe, it'll deliver me
I took a breath and crossed the bridge
Over murky waters; what was, what is

Driving up the switchbacks
I'd've swore I almost died
"Turn up that Dead Karen Carpenter"
I sang along and cried

Pinch me
If I fall asleep
Keep me awake
Driving through this dream
If you saw me,
Would you recognize me?
Is there a part of me
that's still who I was?

I remember your last words to me,
Do you remember mine?
That city you saw as you fell asleep,
You made it sound so nice

Pinch me
If I fall asleep
Keep me awake
Driving through this dream
If you saw me,
Would you recognize me?
Is there a part of me
that's still who I was?

Years of silenced memories
And now they've learned
To hide

So pinch me
If I fall asleep
Keep me awake
Driving through this dream
If you saw me,
Would you recognize me?
Is there a part of me
that's still who I was?

I think you'd recognize these roads,
Would you recognize my eyes?
I could tell you I turned out okay
But I think it might be a lie

pinch me

I may have abandonment issues or intimacy issues but I swear I don't have daddy issues. 

LYRICS:
Am I half empty?
Am I half full?
My karst heart is fragile
A sinkhole

I don't mean to upset you, but
You asked how I am
I know I shouldn't ask you
To understand

I don't have daddy issues
I don't have daddy issues
I just know everybody goes

Keep your bag packed, don't
Get too weighed down
I need to not need so much
Makes 'em all skip town

But
There's just something missing, or
Maybe it's misplaced
But I don't feel so empty
With hands on my waist

Still
I don't have daddy issues
I don't have daddy issues
I just know everybody goes

But
Maybe you'll stay
Maybe, this time, it's safe
Still
I can't hold on tightly 'cause
I'll make you break

I don't have daddy issues
I don't have daddy issues
I just know everybody goes

daddy issues

Ethel Cain - Mondays

drums and additional guitars by matthew tomasi

v1:

each time that i think of you
i push another through
and recall how the bullet flew
each time that i think of you
i barricade the room
one more wound


v2: 

i was an angel, though plummeting
i watched it get dark
i’m playing it tough
the worst that could happen
is happening to me
another round of shots
for the boys on tv
i was an angel, but they made me leave
with stars in my eyes
crying as i wheel 
as i hit the lake
i prayed it’d be green
it’s all that i need
i deserve it, i think

i loved an angel, and it made me weak

refrain:

i am punished by love
i am punished by love
i am punished by love
i am punished by love

outtro: 

i loved an angel, and it made me weak
i loved an angel, and it made me weak

hay meadow

Azekiel Harness

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