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@saiwai
@1spoder
@rywrrd
@redhxrse

@1spoder:
i don't want to fight so put your hands down
i just hit a cab, did the dash, like where i'm at now
way above the surface so i cant drown
if you got me then i got you there's no need to frown
i've been running round
i think i've got to bounce
you've been talkin out your neck
but i cant hear a sound
never thought the silence would be so loud
you live up in my mind and i can't get you out

@rywrrd:
we just walked in
yea pulled up to the party and we sparkin
i got no options
i told that bitch i'm pullin up but that is not it
bitch i'm posted up w roah and spoder
when i'm down feel like sosa cuz i hate bein sober
fucked it up when we talked like over and over 
bet u wanna talk now cause i skrt in tha rover
got me fucked up 
tried to hmu last week
but idgaf i'm not ur bestie
left me
in the dirt like last year
but idgaf cause this is my year!

@redhxrse:
ooh
yea i'm going thru the works
can’t believe it's getting worse
when i'm with u it's like a curse
ooh
problems that u need to fix
and u keep venting about shit
like i'm a fucking therapist
all them fucking parties where i'm standing in the corner
minding my own business but u couldn't be more forward
yuh this broken man is tryna give out all these hints
but u give no shits with u there ain't no subtlety
subtlety subtlety like look at all these bands on me
money ain't a problem when ur clinginess is all i see
put another k on the dash but ur still here
try n make it make sense cos i don't want u anywhere near

@1spoder:
i don't want to fight so put your hands down
i just hit a cab, did the dash, like where i'm at now
way above the surface so i can't drown
if you got me then i got you theres no need to frown
i've been running round
i think i've got to bounce
you've been talkin out your neck
but i cant hear a sound
never thought the silence would be so loud
you live up in my mind and i can't get you out

fight

@arid
@1luvpurp

karson
don't worry about me
you know I got it handled
cuz I've been missing you 
and I know this is random
I cant get over you
and this is overdue 
I can't communicate
g̶i̶r̶l̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶
I know it's my fault 
I always fuck it up 
no matter who it is 
why am I so dumb 
and now I fucked my chances 
I'm never enough
I took her for granted 
I'm so fucking dumb 
I don't need you by my side 
don't know how you put up with my lies 
and it's because I'm selfish 
but I cannot help it 
and I really need you in my life
keep her at a distance
little things I miss them
how'd we get so different 
you don't even listen
tell me how I fix this 
tell me how I fix us 
I call you wont pick up
I think we should break up
we fight then we make up

arid
and i cant handle all the changes
yeah i feel so faded when ur gone 
and everything i take it
always still complaining
i dont wanna start i know its wrong
yeah just leave me be
i know its hard to see
its getting hard to breathe
its straying far from me

communicate (mxsui & luvpurp)

@resolve1k
i need to put this all behind me
deceive me and you blind me 
can't deal with always lying 
girl i need
to put it all in the past
i know i shouldn't want you back
100 other options yea
so see ya hope you're doing well
put your heart in the bag
push to start i hit the gas
she said "i don't want u back"
i wont be coming in last
said she wants my heart 
said she wants me bad
cuz she wants what she can't have
i cannot get attached 
i was taken a back 
by all the shit that you said 
"i never thought we could last"
and "get the fuck out my head"
can you tell me why i try
things never seem to go right
shit never seems to work out
you're the only thing on my mind
and i'm not feeling alright 
always with some other guy
i don't need you by my side
i need to leave it behind

behind me (inno)

@redhxrse

these stones in me they build
replace the breaths that i take now my lungs are filled
i see but i don't see
separation of senses everything is surreal
was playing games of catch up
now I'm horrifyingly ahead
it was alright to be alive
but-
(don't you fucking finish that line)

ooh
it's a jolly good day to see the reindeers go by
ooh
it's so much more I’d like to see you try

these stones in me they're sharp
nerves are struck, every thought is coated with mental tar
whole worlds keeping me down
lazybones got lazier, what’s up with the frown
you know me us men of few words
never popped up first but out the seams i burst
it’s better with me on a 1 to 1
hate multitasking shit ain't no fun
paid my dues but it fall on deaf ears
tear ducts are dry ain't cried for ten years
always wonder how i even get here
cos the real fear of failures never not near

ooh
it’s a jolly good day to see the reindeers go by
ooh
it's so much more I’d like to see you try

reindeers

shut the fuck up.
@resolve1k

why are you acting so different now
the only thing I wanted was to talk this out
the only thing you ever did was put me down
it's like everything I say you just tune me out

I don't want to do this to end
I'm afraid to lose all my friends
I'm afraid to lose her again
never listened to the words that I said
it was nice to pretend
I want you dead

and it's the little things you'd do
everything reminds me of you
I can't get over I feel used
I can't get over missing you

sometimes I miss the little things
you gave me wounds and I still bleed
I wonder if you miss me
you say these things that you don't mean

why are you acting so different now
the only thing I wanted was to talk this out
the only thing you ever did was put me down
it's like everything I say you just tune me out

I don't want to do this to end
I'm afraid to lose all my friends
I'm afraid to lose her again
never listened to the words that I said
it was nice to pretend
I want you dead
it's goodbye I guess

different (inno)

@redhxrse (producer)
@oroahh
@lizablaise
@1spoder

@redhxrse
i feel the snowdrops touch
see them glisten in the sky
feeling cosy w a hot mug of coffee, 
oh, what a life!
n the nice warm glow of the fireplace
god, it could put me to sleep
i wish this season would never change
feel like I'm living the dream

hear the bells start ringing
and the snowman says hi
while the children in the distance
have their little snowball fights

@oroahh
it's 6pm now and the sun isn't out
the breeze is so cold when we were walking about
she was calling your name from like outta the crowd
don't leave her side yet
is it real bad that i doubt you?
don't get me wrong i feel like shit too
i feel the same
you fucked up this shit in like every which wayyy

@lizablaise
babe, it's getting so late
walk up to the door, you're driving me home
the glow on your face like lights that adorn
all the streets leading back to you
made my mind up, you're all i choose
last winter broke your heart in two
spin the record and watch our blues fade away
the mistletoe's waiting, the angels are pacing
impatiently i sway, then your hand's on my cheek
and the sleigh bells start ringing, my winter gloom's at bay

@1spoder
were you satisfied?
i lost my head in the snow, you found it
i wish i made it all up, i've fallen in love
there's no point to dance around it
i wanna watch all the snow pile up
frostbites cover my arms
up to my heart
there's no point in lying, it causes more harm
oh my dear you look frigid
the snow falls the same whether which way you put it
can you promise me one thing?
to let it down slowly

snowdrops

Prod me😜🔥🔥 holy mother of Moses🔥🔥🔥

yoku verse:
Maybe you should figure it out
I think I’m done giving fucks now
And maybe I just wanna give up
And maybe I just don’t wanna show it
Say I want nothing with you
But I know for a fact I was lying
Should’ve left you in the past 
(No idea what I’m saying here at all tbh)
Maybe I should figure it out 
Maybe I should stop trying but idk how
Tell me what am I supposed to say
Idk cause these words just never come out 
And then I think about it maybe I’m just better alone
And maybe it’s because the fact that no one hitting my phone

It’s so conflicting, these thoughts in my head now
I just really wanna be in your bed now
It’s been so long
Haven’t thought bout you in months
Idk why I’m doing it now
Fuck it, maybe we should work it out
Idk why I changed my mind you don’t deserve me now
Idk why I said that I know I’m not perfect now

Yonker chorus:
I don’t know why 
Bae no please don’t lie
Say what’s on your mind 
(Yonk auto tune moaning)




@riensu
my thoughts, wont let em out
cus if i did, u wouldnt like me anymore
but thats alright because i think that ill fine
without you
i think that ill fine
without you



@josiahsvlone
I thought I’d be fine without it
But I don’t know what to do anymore
I don’t wanna lose anymore
Please don’t make me choose anymore
And I can’t stand the silence
Now I can’t get off the floor
You’re the only one I adore
And to lose you I can’t afford 
I said to lose you I can’t afford
And I try my best but it just isn’t enough for you
But I really gotta know, do you hate me?
The way you roll your eyes when you’re angry uh
And I just can’t get enough
Are you over me or what?
I didn’t wanna fall
I swear it’s not my fault

blossom w/ riensu & kise

art credit: @rpsu (irusu)
produced by @ogpichu and a bit by me

//Lyrics

was it something you meant to say to me
i need a break, you on my rank falsely
got em in, run from the jakes, im gonna take what I need
I cannot lose, take another route
I know that soon youll know what im 'bout
you got this room fillin up with doubt

you just wanna take, mine
you never say sumn, feels like we watchin paint, dry
I could just wait time till I know I can make it right
fake, disguise
wait, this time
cause im gonna come back and
take, mine
you never say sumn, feels like we watchin paint, dry
I could just wait time till I know I can make it right
fake, disguise
wait, this time
cause im gonna come back

im at your home
you're not alone
you shut the door on me
walkin and steppin in clothes
you cant afford, on me
i dont need your advice
only lost when I try
god, my thoughts wanna die I
swear to god if you wont say something
Ive been in the wrong but I wont fake nothing
sinking in style
I was just a child
was it something you meant to say to me
i need a break, you on my rank falsely
got em in, run from the jakes, im gonna take what I need
I cannot lose, take another route
I know that soon youll know what im 'bout
you got this room fillin up with doubt

you just wanna take, mine
you never say sumn, feels like we watchin paint, dry
I could just wait time till I know I can make it right
fake, disguise
wait, this time
cause im gonna come back and
take, mine
you never say sumn, feels like we watchin paint, dry
I could just wait time till I know I can make it right
fake, disguise
wait, this time
cause im gonna come back

doubt

doubt [p. pichu]

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/16aPg17al8DKBm8LyMn4eE?si=9f8e74ca0f344527
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/cd-feat-ry-2

guitar by othello
additional production by me and ryan
written and performed by me and ryan
with @rywrrd (show him love please)

i lied i'm sorry next one will be a summer tune <3
thank you for listening always :)

///
a toast,
play your cd
the music brings you peace
alone
so don't mind me
I had a stupid dream again

you thought you had from the start
I don't want have to break your heart
but it broke
and now that cd drowns in static
a sour note
I highly doubt it

your favourite song
your radio I turn it on
we fell in love in your shitty car
with static on your heart
screaming out our favourite part

I made a stupid decision
in my mind, clouded dumb inference
I gave it all that I had
but all I had was indifferent
I'd break my arms off to help you
if it meant that you would listen
I stare and talk to the wall
scratched disc had tarnished the image
I thought I loved you

cd w/ ry

written: me
mixed: me
produced: @1juanraa
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/maxrrss/strength

Lyrics:

(verse)

We've been hanging on for way too long
Promise me you’ll never hold your tongue
Honestly i think you don't belong but i don't really wanna be the one to talk
Gave me reasons why i shouldn't stay, dont try to fool me cause 

(chorus)

I know im not, not strong enough to hold you together, 
say that im better than i ever was
Losing my trust
forget bout our love
i never was
 I never was

(verse)

I dont why you can’t see from my side
Swear you’re the one but you dont do it right
You waste all our time
Still stuck on my mind
You’re falling apart but still say that your mine
Wont reply
I’m so tired
Of these lies
Gave you a chance 
never thought i would regret that
I was your man
How was i supposed to expect you’d 
do it again
(do it again)
Do it again

(chorus)

I know im not, not strong enough to hold you together, 
say that im better than i ever was
Losing my trust
forget bout our love
i never was
i never was