listen

this is who i wanna be

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latristeza

cheaty presents

지림

breadcrumbing

i was the broke one 
i lived in a old flat
you needed patience 
i don’t know what pace is
pushed me around 
till we eventually dated
i get eventually faded 
my judgement is jaded 
where did the weight end
oh god
i am a lost soul, so hold my peace 
oh god, god-
like i was old 
three shots to my skull 
i’ll resolve when i’m old

jaded

produced by LARUE MADE IT

ig www.instagram.com/4javan/

you killin' my heart
but you look divine when you do it
it took some time when i turn around
you did me dirty but i aint hear a sound

havent seen u in 500 days baby
would you still believe me
its been bout 500 days baby
just wondering if you love me

now
were talking bout now and forever
i still smell my scent on your sweater 
i know you know 
you know that i am better

sending me messages 
wondering where i been
send in my location 
so you can stop all this
all these thoughts in my head
thought about the things you said
following my old footsteps

now
were talking bout now and forever
i still smell my scent on your sweater 
i know you know 
you know that i am better

you killin' my heart
but you look divine when you do it
it took some time when i turn around
you did me dirty but i aint hear a sound

(no oh oh oh oh oh)

divine

cottagecore

*ig pls follow thank u ily*
https://www.instagram.com/redhxrse

stream: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/redhorse1/peakdistrict

countryside type beat, aesthetic so cool dk if i could pull it off again tbh

verse:
all these long walks n self reflection (so tiringgg
a couple thousand miles but the air feels the same (does it? {¥©{
ik what i’m doing but why am i still afraid? (stfu pussy
let go of the need to control what ain’t mine
maybe you can show me what it means to feel time
cos every day i jus wanna rush to the end of life (ok dude

prechorus:
these country towns don’t welcome me
cos i don’t have what it takes to be
the ripped out donny on the cover of their magazine (chad?)
well, fuck em!

chorus:
cos u ain't peaked until u reach the district
it’s the place to think w no room 4 misfits
pessimist b4 but now things r a little brighter (brighter brighter brighter)
no-ones peaked until u reach the district
all these lovely mountains make ur world feel tilted
the gardens they all breathe 4 u 
they all breathe

break
saxman solo (city leaves, they’re oh so wilted x3)

prechorus:
these country towns don’t welcome me
cos i don’t have what it takes to be
the ripped out donny on the cover of their magazine (ahhhh#+#
well... fuck em!!!!! (THE BUILDUP BRO

chorus:
cos u ain't peaked until u reach the district
it's the place to think w no room 4 misfits
pessimist b4 but now things r a little brighter (brighter brighter brighter)
no-ones peaked until u reach the district
all these lovely mountains make ur world feel tilted
the gardens they all breathe 4 u 

i think i exist now. (so... what tf this mean

peakdistrict

stream the mf song

prod me and ello i played the guitar :D
huge shoutout to all my friends/fans who made this year the best

a new start

produced by heylog

lyrics:
laying in my arms u look so cute under the stars
your father comes outside and sees us laying in the yard
focus on the coral sky and threading both our hearts
n every time the sun sets i see u from afar
notice how i ask u things it shows i truly care
don't know what u feel i am completely unaware
well after loving you i realized no one can compare
you're the only thing i want but life's just never fair
but everything's gonna be okay, i promise
but all the things in life feel like they're falling
but i'll be fine, i'll make it through but when is it over
i spent a couple years with u and now i want no one

the evening carries little wind that travels through ur hair
u move it off ur face and put it back behind ur ear
and u caught my expression but i couldn't help but stare
the civil things like that well babe it makes it hard to bare
i'm praying for u, hoping all ur dreams come true
and i wish everything goes right for you
but i don't care if u want the same for me too
just know you're important to me, am i too?

well everything's gonna be okay, i promise
but why do all the things in life look like they're falling
but don't u worry, i'll be fine but when is it over
we spent a couple years together, now i want no one

spotify

everything's gonna be okay, i promise

sample @e-veryday
prod me

am i doing enough for you?
my knees are bloody holding
i've been tryna make it work
for once

got my head in the sand
got some mud up on my feet
you wont understand
wanna be free

everyday it gets worse now
you can feel my fucking hurt
i never knew you
we're not close in the slightest
so excuse my words
i've been trying to hide it

myopia

production by me

you're treating me like a criminal
i, needed rest i need some signal
i've, been running but im done for
gotta target on my back and a lot more
i've, been trying so damn hard
but i lost my cell (myself)
i can't play the part no more
feels like im stuck in a hearse
i can't feel my worth
i was feeling numb for so long

hide how you're doing 
its all alright
gotta blank smile staring at me staring at you
it was never even there
gotta break off
it was never even fair
gotta shake off
so no matter the situation
i guess i'll be stuck on waiting
so no matter the situation
i guess i'll be stuck on waiting

criminal

ma bestie ma bestie


prod. masto
art by nate

bestie

cover of i love you 3000 by stephanie poetri

the lyrics is not based on real events its just the song
after careful consideration i have realized i don't like this anymore.

3000

tangled with fate

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/6WoXlGle95jkszY3VAWPho?si=2327d7ba423c4d4c

produced by plantcham
written by me
mix and mastered by me

happy birthday 2 me
been incredibly uninspired as of late, sorry for the absence
wanted to try something different, happy tunes after this
i hope you enjoy :)

///
been awhile since i felt something
that felt real
my never ending thoughts
feels like im throwing rocks
can't you hear me?
i'm screaming
do you fear me?
i'm pleading
cause this just don't feel right
i don't want to cause a fight
you should live your final life
you've already ruined mine

am i
a bother?
were you proud then?
what a shocker
a crawler
every day just gets longer and longer
a bother
were you proud then?
what a shocker
a crawler
every day just gets longer and longer

can't help but feel stuck
it's all in my head
got this damn ache in my chest
just a minute of rest
is all i ask for
i don't feel bad for the way that i act
when my intention was for you to relax
so calm down
breathe in
what's the point in it
when you're not feeling
been awhile since i've gone without a meaning
i wonder why you talk without a reason
cause you've already ruined life

am i
a bother?
were you proud then?
what a shocker
a crawler
every day just gets longer and longer
a bother
were you proud then?
what a shocker
a crawler
every day just gets longer and longer

crawler

'jazz' +@1spoder

stream: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/redhorse1/numb-feat-spoder

written circa nov2020 before redhorse was a thing,
back when i was still in school - still the saddest song i've written, limina may overtake tho-

lookin in the mirror, i don’t look too happy,
my room smells like shit, and i've got no money!
another one of those days, dead in my bed,
escape thru my phone, ignore what’s downstairs...
this time it seemed worse, what’s gotten into her,
i wish i had her energy, not being a sitting duck,
are my problems that bad? they tell me i’m too awkward,
sometimes i wish they’d expel me, then i might just be bothered
i know i say no, actually i want you here,
being a burden just hurts, but i need someone to see my tears
only downhill from here, i don’t wanna grow up
shoulda took a few pictures, i’d have shit to look back on
but no i’m a loser 
foggy path up ahead
maybe it’s time to wake up, 
talk to her instead.

solo

feeling audacious, might leave my bedroom
been the first time since i saw the full moon
they ask me why, i’m just following the rules
but i know inside i ain’t got anyone to talk to
bittersweet taste, brought it all on myself
just want the attention not the love, it makes me unwell
past few months i been sitting like a shell
sitting like an empty vessel drifting away into the ocean
island of my own, embrace the palm trees
escape from reality, i just wanna be me
move with the currents, fed up of self-control
hopeless for the future, got me feeling freezing cold
life has no winners, 
live a planless paradise,
sleeping in this limbo, 
no concept of time.

switch up

@1spoder verse, go get ur money up n follow him

had enough, i'm running out of patience
i'm sorry
can't figure out another way to say this
i really hope you don't keep me waiting here
i really hope you don't trap my mind with fear
i don't like who you are
cause i don't know where to start with you
i could travel so far
but i'll end up coming back to you
and i hate it
but i don't have the guts just to say it
walk without a head, think i'm brainless
you want my damn heart then go take it
i'll be here waiting
and it's all my fault
that i took it this far
guess i had it all wrong
and you are who you are.

2-5-1s am i right

numb

numb, +spoder

Worth Shit

finished aug 24 2021

'depressive minimalism'

a study in artistic efficiency, stripping down a song to its bare essentials

verse:
been a few weeks since i finished school
feeling none of the euphoria
self awareness is a bitch
a farcry from the utopia
i only live for the rainy days ahead
validation in being alone
why am i jealous if i’m different
this the only thing i’ve ever known

chorus:
comatose, overdose, leave me to my devices
death is feeling way too close, early midlife crisis
hide under the bedsheets, don’t wanna feel too alive
take one for the human race, let you know at least i tried
x2

post-chorus:
to hell and back, been there, done that, already feels like home
my blood is tasting toxic today, seeing things in monochrome

verse 2:
living in the leftovers this is what i want
sacrifice what you can’t know
can’t even keep a conversation, this brain of mine falls short
so far gone, i got nothing to show
man i’m always in a third person pov
i just stand there, watch it unravel
cold showers keep me asleep
every day a struggle, another battle

chorus:
comatose, overdose, leave me to my devices
death is feeling way too close, early midlife crisis
hide under the bedsheets, don’t wanna feel too alive
take one for the human race, let you know at least i tried
x2

post-chorus:
to hell and back, been there, done that, already feels like home
my blood is tasting toxic today, seeing things in monochrome

comatose

song of 2 minds lol
feat @1spoder
prod @ethan-schaefer-950685123
https://www.instagram.com/prodbybloom
cover art https://www.instagram.com/natasha.alana

out on all plats too <3 https://open.spotify.com/album/6o1JaQvMW8QGKMjrFUUaJW

lyrics:
[Pre-Chorus: spoder]
Break my sanity in two
Yeah, you stare at me
While I’m staring at you for hours
This silence couldn’t be louder (Ohh)
Peace, of mind
Yeah, that’s all I ask for
Pick up that passport and leave out that door
Realise, that I'm terrified
Could you open your eyes?

[Chorus: spoder]
I’ve been on my own, baby
Hoping that you save me
Cause I’ve been losing focus and it’s hard to see
Don’t you act like you know me
Though I’m feeling lowly
Cause you tear shit apart and you’ve been fucking hoe'd me
I’ve been on my own, baby
Hoping that you save me
Cause I’ve been losing focus and it’s hard to see
Don’t you act like you know me
Though I’m feeling lowly
Cause you tear shit apart and you’ve been fucking hoe'd me

[Verse: heroine diaries]
Said I didn’t take his girl then where his girl go?
Why they hating? Steady praying on my downfall
I don’t got too many friends need a roll call 
I’m up too late waiting for your phone call
Cause I’m a loser, drug abuser, snort like hoover, yeah, yeah 
Fenty patch, on my tongue, help me feel, yeah, yeah 
Broke my heart, it was bad, can’t go back, yeah, yeah 
I’m up late, catch my flight, to your state, yeah, yeah 
Hop up in this Uber it’s a Tesla, Tesla 
Landed in New York I’m off a Tesla, Tesla 
Your girl on my line I do not text her, text her  
You a bitch boy I do it better, better 

[Pre-Chorus: spoder]
Break my sanity in two
Yeah, you stare at me
While I’m staring at you for hours
This silence couldn’t be louder (Ohh)
Peace, of mind
Yeah, that’s all I ask for
Pick up that passport and leave out that door
Realise, that I'm terrified
Could you open your eyes?

[Chorus: spoder]
I’ve been on my own, baby
Hoping that you save me
Cause I’ve been losing focus and it’s hard to see
Don’t you act like you know me
Though I’m feeling lowly
Cause you tear shit apart and you’ve been fucking hoe'd me
I’ve been on my own, baby
Hoping that you save me
Cause I’ve been losing focus and it’s hard to see
Don’t you act like you know me
Though I’m feeling lowly
Cause you tear shit apart and you’ve been fucking hoe'd me

this silence couldn’t be louder (feat. spoder) (prod. bloom)

MUSIC VIDEO- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBXtMc4nxEs

b2nny - Elvis (SoljaBrat remix)

b2nny - Elvis (SojaBrat remix)

eden, ‘scruff [su me]

One
Two
Three
Uh
See I've made it for you
Never trusted for you
Took my veins out for you
Did everything just for you
See I've made it for you
Never trusted for you
Took my veins out for you
Did everything just for you
We're we close?
We we’re like the most
Don't get too close
Wanna be alone
I would change it for you
Go through changes for you
Some think it's not normal
But I would do it for you
See I've made it for you
Never trusted for you
Took my veins out for you
Did everything just for you
See I've made it for you
Never trusted for you
Took my veins out for you
Did everything just for you
Swing
Kick
Flip
Ship
Something random
Do whatever
Do something random
Should I change it for you
Should I change it for you
Should I change it for you
Should I change it for you
I know I shouldn’t for you
Take a bullet for you
I know I shouldn’t for you
Take a bullet for you

for you

drawer

MUSIC VIDEO - https://youtu.be/rTk_wNEijgk

i made this song today. happy easter.


prod. alex cheyz

iran

vocals by vvsmalibu
mastered & mixed by vvsmalibu
produced by fuckyoushadow

lemme speak my mind
yeah, please tell me why u switchin' sides
yeah for u I would never lie
at this point do I even try

don't look in her eyes
she's a devil in disguise
she fucked u up yeah I wonder why
u should've listened don't deny

yeah, why do you lie?
why?
yeah, .223, gon hit his eye
its gon leave that boy traumatized
I don't feel satisfied
do it for the thrill otherwise

lemme speak my mind
yeah, please tell me why u switchin' sides
yeah for u I would never lie
at this point do I even try
don't look in her eyes
she's a devil in disguise
she fucked u up yeah I wonder why
u should've listened don't deny

prod. shadow!