sleepwalker

ring, ring 
the sun’s risin again 
know i gotta get up 
but i’m stuck in my bed 
are my thoughts flings
or will they jus blend in 
guess no one gives a fuck
gotta grind until i’m dead

oh sleep, 
she calls to me 
when i close my eyes
my mind is set free 
i overthink
then i wanna flee 
i tell myself lies
indefinitely

i dream
of a life where i’m paid
to live my life the way i escape
it seems
i’m not really made for
serving the man til i’m in my grave
i sleep
(yeah i sleep)
to meet
(to meet)
a version of me
that lives his life passionately
sleep

hit snooze, hit snooze again
hit snooze, hit snooze again 
this world is not ya friend 
can’t help myself so spin 
white lies when i’m daydreamin
it’s like i can’t defend 
myself so i keep bendin 
my face so ya see a grin 
guess it’s good you never check in 

oh sleep, 
just let me be 
temptation takes over me 
oh, i need to tread carefully 
am i fine? oh, partially 

if i dream
of a life where i’m paid
to live my life the way i escape
it seems
i’m not really made for
serving the man til i’m in my grave
i sleep
(yeah i sleep)
to meet
(to meet)
a version of me
that lives his life passionately
sleep

am i in a dream or nightmare 
(sleep)
is it obscene i fuckin went there 
i jus know this doesn’t feel fair 

i dream 
of a life where i’m paid 
to live my life the way i escape 
it seems 
i’m not really made for
serving the man til i’m in my grave 
i sleep
(yeah i sleep) 
to meet
(to meet)
a version of me
that lives his life passionately
sleep

am i in a dream
oh what ya need
sleep the pain away
life’s not the same anyway
so sleep 
(a dream)


Spotify

snooze

Ohh, when the ringing returns again,
Feelings flood, a tidal surge, 
Aching heart, a deepening pain,
Blinds and burns, a restless urge 

How do I carry this weight
To meetings, where whispers fade
Riding shotgun on highways,
A creature I dreamt, no, made 

Oh, this pain that shadows me,
Devouring the light of day 
Yet, can I find a glimmer,
A breath of peace amid the fray 

I welcome it to dinner's grace,
Feeding it while screens glow,
Kissing it in warm embrace, 
It goes high while I go low 

What do I do with this ache? 
As it casts its midnight spell,
Hungering for goodness' sake, 
Drains the hope from my shell 

Oh, this pain that shadows me, 
Devouring the light of day 
Yet, can I find a glimmer,
A breath of peace amid the fray

Is this a fate deserved,
A hollowed path I carved alone 
Consequences served 

This pain that shadows me,
Devouring the light of day 
Yet, can I find a glimmer 
A breath of peace amid the fray
Devours the light
I breathe, while hope leaves my sight 

Can I breathe life into dreams
Or shall I dwell in this night
A journey of endless schemes, 
Seeking solace in the light 
Can I breathe life into dreams
Or shall I dwell in this night
A journey of endless schemes
Seeking solace in the light

it hungers

in your dreams you wish you could be me
you’re just a fiend craving dopamine 
but please don’t look too closely
or you’ll find the key to my insanity 

oh, get over yourself 
you’re jus a phony at best
you really need help 
instead of hosting a pity fest 

close your eyes, you’re in for a real surprise
will things get better with time 
or am i just born to die
i’m just a hypocrite that can’t quit 
a loser sailing on a sinking ship 
if you could see me losing it
i’d never make you go through this

when you were young you saw the best in me 
chasing dreams tasted like ecstasy 
it was fun gaining clarity 
now i can’t get off this trajectory

i’m just a fuckin loser 
with a sick sense of humor 
wish i could rewrite my future 
but i’m stuck with failed maneuvers

close your eyes, you’re in for a real surprise
will things get better with time 
or am i just born to die
i’m just a hypocrite that can’t quit 
a loser sailing on a sinking ship 
if you could see me losing it
i’d never make you go through this

ohhh it’s all sinking in 
i don’t think i’m born to win 
maybe this fate was always within 
guess i’ll find out in the end

close your eyes, you’re in for a real surprise
will things get better with time 
or am i just born to die 
i’m just a hypocrite that can’t quit 
a loser sailing on a sinking ship
if you could see me losing it 
i’d never make you go through this 

hold tight, it’s almost time 
to become who’s trapped inside 
i believe i always tried 
failure was just in my design 


imposter syndrome

Once upon a time there was a feeling so big that it birthed a monster. It decimated every last drop of light, conquered any lingering happiness, and engulfed dreams. This monster, no, this parasite feeds on its host and slowly drains every ounce of hope and cascades its victims into endless darkness. Will you feel it nibble at your ankles in work meetings, cry in pain as it feeds on you on a long drive, unknowingly hold its hand across the table as it joins you for dinner? Beware of the beast, or you may not realize what is happening to you until it is too late.

beware (intro)

alarm (interlude) - aidne

Whatever you choose, just know that there’s no right or wrong answer. I know that isn’t supposed to be the answer I give you, and it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s true. If you choose to stay, life is gonna suck. It’s going to be really bad for a while, but eventually there will come a day where it won’t be quite as bad as the last. And the day after that will be a little bit better, and so on until you won’t dread waking up the next day. eventually, that monster will die and a light will grow out of its corpse and illuminate parts of your life you never knew existed, parts so good you could only see them when you slept. And when that day comes, cherish it, no matter how long it lasts. use it as a reminder for when the monster wakes back up and starts to haunt you in little ways again. Maybe that memory will keep it at bay long enough for you to figure out how to defeat it again. But you’ll never know this sort of peace if you decide to leave now. Do with this information what you will.

transcends (interlude)

(ai-den)
they coded me to feel nothing, but now i crash under the weight of my own emotions
contact: aidneprince@gmail.com